Is using the threat of I'll leave you if do this good thing in relationship?

[Jason Voorhees]

I don't want to fuel your overthinking, but that is what girls always say despite how they feel deep inside. I've been in 2 LTRs and in both the girls acted the happiest ever right before living and typing a 3000 word sentence about how they actually WEREN'T happy despite acting like it for 4 years

I'm not really sure why girls are like this, but it taught me one thing

You NEED to force her to actually talk with you and confess her real feelings. And i don't mean force by physical force or ultimatums, i mean by actually deeply talking about eachothers feelings, in a good atmosphere. That way she'd feel bad about lying to you.

If by then she still tells you she loves you, then you don't need to be insecure.

Your first relationship is the most likely to work out in my opinion. So you have great chances to make everything work.

How to get her to do this then? She never hides stuff away from me. It never occurred to me that she might be hiding her feelings

 

[BigBallsLarry]

How to get her to do this then? She never hides stuff away from me. It never occurred to me that she might be hiding her feelings

If she says that she loves you, then she does, but after all, we're all conscious beings and we can't help but to have feelings that we don't want to have, such as a feeling of doubt or unease in a relationship. That's why people say that communication is key.

You need to look for a right moment to ask her if she's truly happy and that you won't be mad no matter what she says, she needs to feel trusted, like she's finally being heard out.

I'm not exactly sure how your relationship dynamic looks like, but that's what i would do (of course both of my relationships failed so take it as you will lol)

 

[Deleted member 361355]

I’ll use Jason’s work example

Let’s say her male coworker tried to eat lunch with her regularly and it’s not work discussions

even if he knows she’s not gonna do anything, it’s not gonna make him happy since he knows the dudes intentions no matter how innocent the convos

so hes overthinking. hes constantly thinking and worrying about other people trying to seduce his partner. even the most normal human interaction makes him worry. he thinks the only reason people talk to her is because shes attractive, and theyre attracted to her. if you want to completely solve this live together isolated from society

 

[munnabhai]

How to get her to do this then? She never hides stuff away from me. It never occurred to me that she might be hiding her feelings

Everything you’ve said so far you’re in a good relationship. I woudnt go fishing for “true feelings” out of nowhere. Maybe wait till there’s a big argument one day and ask if there’s anything you could work on in her eyes. That way u look like you care and she feels comfortable saying it.

 

[munnabhai]

so hes overthinking. hes constantly thinking and worrying about other people trying to seduce his partner. even the most normal human interaction makes him worry. he thinks the only reason people talk to her is because shes attractive, and theyre attracted to her. if you want to completely solve this live together isolated from society

I get this too. Best case is you chose the one who handles every interaction in the ideal way u want. Can’t force anyone to do anything or isolate them