It makes me sad that I used to be liked by girls at one point, I had potential

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notalive

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Elementary school, I remember exploring and doing intimate things with girls since I was attractive (even modeled as a kid).

Middle school, shit went downhill due to acne.

Early high school, still had acne but was attractive so I got attention from girls a few times. Got compliments. Even had a MTB try to be my gf. Never did anything because I was not NT.

Late high school to College, acne raped my face and body so I'm severely scarred all over. Nose kept growing but maxilla/mandible stopped and orthodontist was too blue-pilled to recommend jaw surgery. 0 attention from women. No gf/never slayed.

Post-college, still the same, face/body is raped by scars and I'm recessed as fuck.

It's so much worse when you have had a taste of what it feels like. It's like all the potential went down the drain. There was a chance.
I would fly to the moon and back to feel the same confidence and desirability I once had. I did feel it at one point. And I was so content. Life was good.
Now I barely stay alive from day to day (approaching late 20s).
 
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I can still vividly re-live the memories of the few times a girl was genuinely attracted to me and we were physically intimate. I don't remember much else about my childhood.

The sad nostalgia is so strong it could send me down a deep spiral to almost rope
 
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What's crazy is that each of those moments where a girl outwardly expressed genuine attraction toward me gave me a high I could never possibly achieve again.

Nothing in my life has ever come close to that high. Not even graduating or getting a good job or any vacation or drug I've tried. Nothing.
 
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I can still vividly re-live the memories of the few times a girl was genuinely attracted to me and we were physically intimate. I don't remember much else about my childhood.
one of the most brutal statemens i have read
have something then lose it is crazy brutal
 
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one of the most brutal statemens i have read
have something then lose it is crazy brutal
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it's like people in car accidents becoming paralyzed forever (that's worse than mine obviously)
they will never experience life the same again
probably wish they were born paralyzed
 
it's like people in car accidents becoming paralyzed forever (that's worse than mine obviously)
they will never experience life the same again
probably wish they were born paralyzed
to be fair, women become less non NT friendly (they expect more), so maybe work on it?
 
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