It's not about enjoying life. It's about being content with torture.

[brucel]

Me at age 12 (bullied subhuman):

Me at age 17 (invisible subhuman):
View attachment 1813684
cant find much pics atm from that time, but noteable is that a lot of the time I wore glasses aswell.


I was always a very happy child that laughed a lot. Worst thing u can do tbh. People stopped bullying me when I stopped laughing and started taking a more serious face as my resting-face.

mogs me

 

[dakchuh]

hmmm...yeah you're HTN then. I understand your frustration but you've got it better than a lot of people

your base reminds me of Amnesia pre surgery, you have a good base for surgerymaxxing

Me at age 12 (bullied subhuman):

Me at age 17 (invisible subhuman):
View attachment 1813684
cant find much pics atm from that time, but noteable is that a lot of the time I wore glasses aswell.


I was always a very happy child that laughed a lot. Worst thing u can do tbh. People stopped bullying me when I stopped laughing and started taking a more serious face as my resting-face.

he's facially MTN. agree on similar base as amnesia though.

 

[andy9432]

Go back home buddy boyo

im hapa, filipinos hate me with disgust aswell

 

[MoggerGaston]

Life in the Netherlands is some of the most brutal and competitive in the world tbh. 3rd world cels think they have it hard, but its much harder here

 

[MoggerGaston]

Realistically theres only 4 things that can happen with my life right now.

1) i get an extremely competitive finance job in amsterdam and become a millionaire. This then somehow makes my life worth living.
2) i get a non-competitive engineering job that i somehow really like despite the shit salary that makes my life worth living.

Outside of the job realm:

3) i somehow get really lucky and land a good social circle and/or gf out of nowhere that makes my life worth living.
4) i move to a diff location where my life becomes worth living somehow.

Beyond that i am leanmaxxing and fashionmaxxing. No other maxxing would have any significant influence on my life and even these are questionable.

I have an entrepreneurial mindset so other opportunities might present themselves but its luck based.

Other than that, my mind is totally broken and i live in despair and pain. Realistically even if i get a gf, i am not going to be able to relate to her at all and it wont do anything for me.

Very often i think about just ending it because the challenges i have to overcome are too much for a lone troubled young man

 

[MoggerGaston]

The fact my first gf (that knew i was a virgin) demanded male dominatrix toptier sex from me the first time ive had sex, tells me enough about standards and what is expected of you as a man.

My second gf demanded the same, but i was unable to give her this extreme sexual domination that she demanded and only gave her normie tier sex.

I am extremely far off in every way imaginable before i could ever even be a decent boyfriend.

Looks are vital because it decreases overall demands in all aspects. Because i dont have the look, women demand me to be a male dominatrix millionaire high status alpha. Which i am not.

The pursuit of this female ideal will cost me my life if i dont drop it. But if i drop it ill never have a gf in my life ever again.

Mgtow cant be take lightly, but perhaps its the only way

 

[Deleted member 17829]

im hapa, filipinos hate me with disgust aswell

ur slayer there. they love hapas

 

[Deleted member 4430]

Realistically theres only 4 things that can happen with my life right now.

1) i get an extremely competitive finance job in amsterdam and become a millionaire. This then somehow makes my life worth living.
2) i get a non-competitive engineering job that i somehow really like despite the shit salary that makes my life worth living.

Outside of the job realm:

3) i somehow get really lucky and land a good social circle and/or gf out of nowhere that makes my life worth living.
4) i move to a diff location where my life becomes worth living somehow.

Beyond that i am leanmaxxing and fashionmaxxing. No other maxxing would have any significant influence on my life and even these are questionable.

I have an entrepreneurial mindset so other opportunities might present themselves but its luck based.

Other than that, my mind is totally broken and i live in despair and pain. Realistically even if i get a gf, i am not going to be able to relate to her at all and it wont do anything for me.

Very often i think about just ending it because the challenges i have to overcome are too much for a lone troubled young man

The fact my first gf (that knew i was a virgin) demanded male dominatrix toptier sex from me the first time ive had sex, tells me enough about standards and what is expected of you as a man.

My second gf demanded the same, but i was unable to give her this extreme sexual domination that she demanded and only gave her normie tier sex.

I am extremely far off in every way imaginable before i could ever even be a decent boyfriend.

Looks are vital because it decreases overall demands in all aspects. Because i dont have the look, women demand me to be a male dominatrix millionaire high status alpha. Which i am not.

The pursuit of this female ideal will cost me my life if i dont drop it. But if i drop it ill never have a gf in my life ever again.

Mgtow cant be take lightly, but perhaps its the only way

mental breakdown live

 

[JBcollector]

Or how about don't even go to a city

 

[MoggerGaston]

Further problems arise when i realize my worldview is completely different from that of avg people.

I told friends about the demands that women place on me, shit like using cialis whenever i think ill have sex just to have a bigger dick cuz i dont have ED. They told me they cant relate and women are fine with normie tier sex with them.

I feel like my world was made to torture me. I am not larping, not imagining things when i know that my first gf called me after our first date and told me i fucking sucked at sex and she expected so much more from me, while knowing i was a virgin. I am not delusional.

My life has far more demands, expectations than that of the avg person.

NOT becoming a millionaire by my mid 30s would be the same as ending up homeless for the avg person. Because life simply demands much more from me for basic success.

Ppl here wont get it

 

[Deleted member 16501]

Half my family lives in poland (from my mother's side), the other half that lives in the netherlands (from my dad's side), there was a lot of drama with so I never got to know any of them.
The only family I got to know beyond my parents/brother is my mother's sister and her sons that also live in the netherlands.
I never had grand-parents they were already dead when I was born.

My mother is an extremely abusive narcissist. The worst wife, but an even worse mother. I had to cut contact with her for my own sanity at 22 (shouldve done it much earlier), as a result I also don't have any ties anymore with my mother's sister or the polish side of my family.

My brother I've always had beef with and he always treated me like shit. So we never had contact anymore once we both moved out of our parent's house.

My dad is a loser that still lives with my abusive narc mother because he has given up on life. Very hard to keep any relationship with him at all, I speak to him only very occasionally.

Fuck man that's rough.

You are a true survivor to go through all of that. This is a line my therapist told me 2 years ago and I didn't believe him, but now I understand what he means, and I say it to you.

Certainly a unique family and upbringing situation. But you can use it to fuel you to success you never would have thought possible had you had a more normal upbringing.

You owe it to yourself to completely max yourself out in every area. Literally push yourself so hard every day that by the end of the day you are so tired that you don't even think about your past. This is exactly what I'm doing now after a decade of trauma.

I recommend David Goggins book 'Can't hurt me'. If you can listen to the audiobook even better.

Best of luck and keep us updated.

 

[MoggerGaston]

People on this site live very easy lifes with low demands. If you think youre good enough to enjoy life if youre HTN, you dont even know what life is really about.

Looks ARE the most important single character trait, but still its only like 40% of your life. The 40% that presents itself before you even open your mouth and affects everything else, but still only 40%

Having the burden placed on you to become a slayer, millionaire, high social status local celebrity, dominatrix sex god, perfect husband and father with 5+ kids, influential scientist/business owner/politician, being around the peak (elite) and edges (alternative) of human social life. And so much more. Are what the 60 percent is about

When I work at this huge successful company and come home, i realize i have done absolutely 0 to get closer to ANY of these goals.
I am already planning on leaving this place because it has nothing new or exciting to offer beyond 3-4 months of employment.

Thats reality.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Fuck man that's rough.

You are a true survivor to go through all of that. This is a line my therapist told me 2 years ago and I didn't believe him, but now I understand what he means, and I say it to you.

Certainly a unique family and upbringing situation. But you can use it to fuel you to success you never would have thought possible had you had a more normal upbringing.

You owe it to yourself to completely max yourself out in every area. Literally push yourself so hard every day that by the end of the day you are so tired that you don't even think about your past. This is exactly what I'm doing now after a decade of trauma.

I recommend David Goggins book 'Can't hurt me'. If you can listen to the audiobook even better.

Best of luck and keep us updated.

This is what I have to do. I realize nobody ever loved or valued me when i was a normal kid. So i have to excell at everything i ever do in hopes of some day earning the love i never had.

Yes i realize this sounds exactly like mental illness. But people dont realize that with a damaged brain you cant escape this reasoning.

Therapists have been the absolute most useless people i have ever met. They are hardly able to help an insecure teenager, let alone a blackpilled high IQ depressed autist like me.

 

[MoggerGaston]

had to sell some speakers that I didn't need anymore, guy showed up at my place to pick them up. First thing he told me was that I looked 'big and strong'. Not the first time I've heard this.

Being big, strong, etc. is irrelevant to getting attention from women. It only attracts/gets compliments from MEN.

gymcelling is not a good way to spend your time if you want attention from women. it only works if you are GAY.

 

[Mouthbreath]

2018.

Still last topic ill make on this site. Everything has been said

Do you still like boys, syoveboli?

 

[MoggerGaston]

Do you still like boys, syoveboli?

i love them

 

[Max Frauder]

Opportunities are few. Take the oldcel inviting me over to go touring with him in his sportscar. I just dont see how that would go anywhere? He's in his late 40s, married. Wouldnt be able to

He probably wants to kiss you on the mouth and pound you in the butt. Some people just have to take whatever's on offer.

Some other people are never offered anything.