AnActualidoit
Iron
- Joined
- Jun 28, 2025
- Posts
- 99
- Reputation
- 35
Ok I know this sounds dumb and stupid but I’m posting this here because nowhere else feels right and maybe people here can actually relate. Back then I was an actual subhuman manlet. I was 15, 5’6, depressed, no friends, parents still babied me, and I hated myself. I met this girl online through a game. Never met her irl, but she still changed everything. She made the bad thoughts stop for once. She made me want to change. I started losing weight and trying to look better because of her, and that’s when I became obsessed with my looks.Because of how messed up I was mentally, I didn’t tell her the truth. I lied about my age and my name. I basically manipulated her because I was scared she’d leave if she knew who I really was. I know that’s on me. I’m not proud of it. She promised she’d stay and be there forever and I believed her because I needed that. Before I even told her how bad my mental state was, she said she was getting tired of me. I thought opening up would fix things. I thought being honest would make us closer. It didn’t. When she found out I lied, all the trust was gone instantly. She freaked out and blocked me. That was it. Now I’m 6’2 and somehow still growing, but I still feel like that same 5’6 manlet who needed her. I’m told I’m capped at MTN but I keep hoping my genetics wake up again like they did before. I keep thinking maybe if I ascend enough I’ll finally forget her. I can’t though. I check her TikToks every day. I’ve cried myself to sleep for almost two years. I still wish she loved me the way she used to. I wish she could see how I look now. I wish she hadn’t doubted me because I feel like she’d change her mind if she did. It hurts knowing that if I looked like the guy of her dreams back then, the lies probably wouldn’t have mattered. I hate that looks feel like everything now. I hate that she’s the reason I care this much. I still want her. I’d go back to being a subhuman if it meant having a happy relationship with her. Instead I’m a 6’2 MTN trying to be a chad and it still hurts just as bad. I want honest opinions. That’s why I’m posting this here.
