"Just Debloat Your Face By 3L Water Bro!" – The Brutal Debloatpill

@Gengar how the fuck is this guy tagging people without it showing up on his thread

Like it says he’s quoting our posts I’m so confused
 
  • +1
Reactions: EthiopianMaxxer, antipsychotics, diditeverbegin and 6 others

Table of Contents

  • Introduction (The cope is strong with this one)
  • Requirements (Do you even qualify?)
  • Methods (Face debloat vs. Semaglutide)
  • Pros & Cons (Spoiler: Pain & suffering)
  • Reality Level (Why most of you won’t succeed)
  • TL;DR (For the low-attention-spancels)

Introduction

JFL at all the bloated-faced orbiters screeching "just drink water bro!" while looking like the Michelin Man’s ugly cousin. Face bloat isn’t just water retention—it’s a mix of poor diet, bad habits, and genetic-tier fat distribution that no amount of ice rolling will fix.

And don’t even get me started on the Semaglutide hype. Every TikTokcel thinks injecting weight-loss drugs will turn them into a hollow-cheeked gigachad. Reality check: Most of you will quit after the first nausea wave or end up looking like a deflated balloon.

This guide is for subhuman bloatcels who want to actually debloat their face and body—not just cope with useless "tips."



Requirements

Before you waste time and money, ask yourself:

1. Genetic Reality Check

  • Do you store fat in your face first? (If yes, you’re fighting genetics.)
  • Is your "bloat" actually just high body fat? (No amount of fasting will save a 25% BF permabulker.)
  • Are you insulin resistant? (If you get sleepy after carbs, congrats—you’re fucked.)

2. Diet & Lifestyle

  • Do you eat like a fat dumpster? (Seed oils, processed junk, alcohol = permanent bloat.)
  • Do you sleep 5 hours a night? (High cortisol = moon face.)
  • Are you sedentary? (Lymphatic drainage requires movement, lazycel.)

3. Financial & Mental Prep

  • Can you afford Semaglutide? (~$300+/month, not covered unless diabetic.)
  • Can you handle side effects? (Nausea, fatigue, "Ozempic face" sagging.)
  • Are you ready to change habits permanently? (Or will you rebound in 3 months?)

Methods

1. Normie Tier (For Copers)

  • Water + Electrolytes (Not just chugging—proper Na/K/Mg balance.)
  • Reduce Sodium & Processed Carbs (No more ramen, bloatcel.)
  • Sleep 7-9 Hours (Cortisol reduction = less puffiness.)
  • Guasha / Ice Rolling (Temporary relief, but better than nothing.)
Reality Level: -0.5 to -1 PSL bloat reduction.

2. Advancedcel Tier (Actual Results)

  • Intermittent Fasting (18:6+) (Lowers insulin, reduces water retention.)
  • Low-Carb / Keto (Drops glycogen bloat fast.)
  • Dry Fasting (24-48hrs, carefully) (Extreme debloat, but risky.)
  • Prescription Diuretics (Sparingly) (Dangerous if abused.)
Reality Level: -1 to -2 PSL if consistent.

3. Giga Autist Tier (Semaglutidemaxxing)

  • Semaglutide (Wegovy/Ozempic) (Suppresses appetite, forces fat loss.)
  • GH + DHT Stack (HGH for skin tightening, DHT for facial leanness.)
  • Plasma Fibroblasting (Non-surgical skin tightening post-weight loss.)
Reality Level: -2 to -3 PSL if done perfectly.


Pros & Cons

MethodProsCons
Normie TierEasy, low riskMinimal gains, requires consistency
AdvancedcelNoticeable debloatHunger, fatigue, potential muscle loss
SemaglutideForces fat loss, reduces cravingsExpensive, nausea, "Ozempic face" sagging

Reality Level

  • Most of you won’t stick to it. You’ll try fasting for a day, then binge on McDonald’s.
  • Genetics dictate fat distribution. If you’re a moonfacecel, even 10% BF won’t give you hollow cheeks.
  • Semaglutide isn’t magic. You’ll lose weight, but without muscle retention, you’ll look sickly, not chiseled.
  • Rebound is inevitable if you quit. Most regain the weight + extra because they never fixed their habits.
Final Realitypill:

  • If you’re >20% BF, focus on actual fat loss before obsessing over bloat.
  • If you’re lean but still bloated, check food intolerances (dairy, gluten, histamines).
  • Semaglutide is a tool, not a cure. Without diet changes, you’ll just be a smaller version of a blob.

TL;DR

  • Face bloat = diet, sleep, genetics. No quick fixes.
  • Semaglutide works but has side effects. Only use if you’re serious.
  • Most of you will fail because effort > copium.
Shoutout: All the Ozempic-faced influencers pretending they got hollow cheeks "naturally."

:ogre:

(INSPIRED BY/BASICALLY RIPPED OFF BY @menas)
Upvote if this saved you (NEVER DID)
Greycel stop shadowtagging
 
  • +1
Reactions: EthiopianMaxxer, diditeverbegin, ShowerCelling and 1 other person
@Gengar how the fuck is this guy tagging people without it showing up on his thread

Like it says he’s quoting our posts I’m so confused

Tags then edits
 
  • +1
Reactions: EthiopianMaxxer, ShowerCelling and whitebitchslayer
Nigga mass rep farming, hope Master got shadow tagged too so he can ban his ass
 
  • JFL
  • +1
Reactions: EthiopianMaxxer, diditeverbegin, ShowerCelling and 1 other person
keto mogs tbh
 
  • +1
Reactions: ShowerCelling and Dojo
Dude what
I'm an irrelevant grey and I got shadowtagged
Read and repped btw
 

Attachments

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Reactions: kazama and ShowerCelling
Very good, I liked it and agree with everything. Saved :feelsokman:
 
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Reactions: ShowerCelling and Dojo
stfu nigger
 
  • JFL
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Reactions: Bars, ShowerCelling, Afrab and 1 other person

Table of Contents

  • Introduction (The cope is strong with this one)
  • Requirements (Do you even qualify?)
  • Methods (Face debloat vs. Semaglutide)
  • Pros & Cons (Spoiler: Pain & suffering)
  • Reality Level (Why most of you won’t succeed)
  • TL;DR (For the low-attention-spancels)

Introduction

JFL at all the bloated-faced orbiters screeching "just drink water bro!" while looking like the Michelin Man’s ugly cousin. Face bloat isn’t just water retention—it’s a mix of poor diet, bad habits, and genetic-tier fat distribution that no amount of ice rolling will fix.

And don’t even get me started on the Semaglutide hype. Every TikTokcel thinks injecting weight-loss drugs will turn them into a hollow-cheeked gigachad. Reality check: Most of you will quit after the first nausea wave or end up looking like a deflated balloon.

This guide is for subhuman bloatcels who want to actually debloat their face and body—not just cope with useless "tips."



Requirements

Before you waste time and money, ask yourself:

1. Genetic Reality Check

  • Do you store fat in your face first? (If yes, you’re fighting genetics.)
  • Is your "bloat" actually just high body fat? (No amount of fasting will save a 25% BF permabulker.)
  • Are you insulin resistant? (If you get sleepy after carbs, congrats—you’re fucked.)

2. Diet & Lifestyle

  • Do you eat like a fat dumpster? (Seed oils, processed junk, alcohol = permanent bloat.)
  • Do you sleep 5 hours a night? (High cortisol = moon face.)
  • Are you sedentary? (Lymphatic drainage requires movement, lazycel.)

3. Financial & Mental Prep

  • Can you afford Semaglutide? (~$300+/month, not covered unless diabetic.)
  • Can you handle side effects? (Nausea, fatigue, "Ozempic face" sagging.)
  • Are you ready to change habits permanently? (Or will you rebound in 3 months?)

Methods

1. Normie Tier (For Copers)

  • Water + Electrolytes (Not just chugging—proper Na/K/Mg balance.)
  • Reduce Sodium & Processed Carbs (No more ramen, bloatcel.)
  • Sleep 7-9 Hours (Cortisol reduction = less puffiness.)
  • Guasha / Ice Rolling (Temporary relief, but better than nothing.)
Reality Level: -0.5 to -1 PSL bloat reduction.

2. Advancedcel Tier (Actual Results)

  • Intermittent Fasting (18:6+) (Lowers insulin, reduces water retention.)
  • Low-Carb / Keto (Drops glycogen bloat fast.)
  • Dry Fasting (24-48hrs, carefully) (Extreme debloat, but risky.)
  • Prescription Diuretics (Sparingly) (Dangerous if abused.)
Reality Level: -1 to -2 PSL if consistent.

3. Giga Autist Tier (Semaglutidemaxxing)

  • Semaglutide (Wegovy/Ozempic) (Suppresses appetite, forces fat loss.)
  • GH + DHT Stack (HGH for skin tightening, DHT for facial leanness.)
  • Plasma Fibroblasting (Non-surgical skin tightening post-weight loss.)
Reality Level: -2 to -3 PSL if done perfectly.


Pros & Cons

MethodProsCons
Normie TierEasy, low riskMinimal gains, requires consistency
AdvancedcelNoticeable debloatHunger, fatigue, potential muscle loss
SemaglutideForces fat loss, reduces cravingsExpensive, nausea, "Ozempic face" sagging

Reality Level

  • Most of you won’t stick to it. You’ll try fasting for a day, then binge on McDonald’s.
  • Genetics dictate fat distribution. If you’re a moonfacecel, even 10% BF won’t give you hollow cheeks.
  • Semaglutide isn’t magic. You’ll lose weight, but without muscle retention, you’ll look sickly, not chiseled.
  • Rebound is inevitable if you quit. Most regain the weight + extra because they never fixed their habits.
Final Realitypill:

  • If you’re >20% BF, focus on actual fat loss before obsessing over bloat.
  • If you’re lean but still bloated, check food intolerances (dairy, gluten, histamines).
  • Semaglutide is a tool, not a cure. Without diet changes, you’ll just be a smaller version of a blob.

TL;DR

  • Face bloat = diet, sleep, genetics. No quick fixes.
  • Semaglutide works but has side effects. Only use if you’re serious.
  • Most of you will fail because effort > copium.
Shoutout: All the Ozempic-faced influencers pretending they got hollow cheeks "naturally."

:ogre:

(INSPIRED BY/BASICALLY RIPPED OFF BY @menas)
Upvote if this saved you (NEVER DID)
I can't do the 2 other options since I'm still in puberty and my growth will be at risk.
 
  • +1
Reactions: ShowerCelling and Dojo
im surprised u even shadow-tagged me im a fking noname
 
  • +1
Reactions: Jiaxi and ShowerCelling
 
  • +1
Reactions: ShowerCelling
How’d you tag me bud?
 
  • +1
Reactions: ShowerCelling and The Homelander
INDIA MENTIONED? JAI HIND!
 
  • +1
Reactions: LegendaryKennen, ShowerCelling and The Homelander
FUCK YOU
 
  • +1
Reactions: ShowerCelling
thanks for shadowtagging me annoying shit

im already debloated with mogtier hollow cheeks, the forum knows

plus dnr
 
  • +1
Reactions: ShowerCelling
I know u tagged me bro:lul::lul:

Table of Contents

  • Introduction (The cope is strong with this one)
  • Requirements (Do you even qualify?)
  • Methods (Face debloat vs. Semaglutide)
  • Pros & Cons (Spoiler: Pain & suffering)
  • Reality Level (Why most of you won’t succeed)
  • TL;DR (For the low-attention-spancels)

Introduction

JFL at all the bloated-faced orbiters screeching "just drink water bro!" while looking like the Michelin Man’s ugly cousin. Face bloat isn’t just water retention—it’s a mix of poor diet, bad habits, and genetic-tier fat distribution that no amount of ice rolling will fix.

And don’t even get me started on the Semaglutide hype. Every TikTokcel thinks injecting weight-loss drugs will turn them into a hollow-cheeked gigachad. Reality check: Most of you will quit after the first nausea wave or end up looking like a deflated balloon.

This guide is for subhuman bloatcels who want to actually debloat their face and body—not just cope with useless "tips."



Requirements

Before you waste time and money, ask yourself:

1. Genetic Reality Check

  • Do you store fat in your face first? (If yes, you’re fighting genetics.)
  • Is your "bloat" actually just high body fat? (No amount of fasting will save a 25% BF permabulker.)
  • Are you insulin resistant? (If you get sleepy after carbs, congrats—you’re fucked.)

2. Diet & Lifestyle

  • Do you eat like a fat dumpster? (Seed oils, processed junk, alcohol = permanent bloat.)
  • Do you sleep 5 hours a night? (High cortisol = moon face.)
  • Are you sedentary? (Lymphatic drainage requires movement, lazycel.)

3. Financial & Mental Prep

  • Can you afford Semaglutide? (~$300+/month, not covered unless diabetic.)
  • Can you handle side effects? (Nausea, fatigue, "Ozempic face" sagging.)
  • Are you ready to change habits permanently? (Or will you rebound in 3 months?)

Methods

1. Normie Tier (For Copers)

  • Water + Electrolytes (Not just chugging—proper Na/K/Mg balance.)
  • Reduce Sodium & Processed Carbs (No more ramen, bloatcel.)
  • Sleep 7-9 Hours (Cortisol reduction = less puffiness.)
  • Guasha / Ice Rolling (Temporary relief, but better than nothing.)
Reality Level: -0.5 to -1 PSL bloat reduction.

2. Advancedcel Tier (Actual Results)

  • Intermittent Fasting (18:6+) (Lowers insulin, reduces water retention.)
  • Low-Carb / Keto (Drops glycogen bloat fast.)
  • Dry Fasting (24-48hrs, carefully) (Extreme debloat, but risky.)
  • Prescription Diuretics (Sparingly) (Dangerous if abused.)
Reality Level: -1 to -2 PSL if consistent.

3. Giga Autist Tier (Semaglutidemaxxing)

  • Semaglutide (Wegovy/Ozempic) (Suppresses appetite, forces fat loss.)
  • GH + DHT Stack (HGH for skin tightening, DHT for facial leanness.)
  • Plasma Fibroblasting (Non-surgical skin tightening post-weight loss.)
Reality Level: -2 to -3 PSL if done perfectly.


Pros & Cons

MethodProsCons
Normie TierEasy, low riskMinimal gains, requires consistency
AdvancedcelNoticeable debloatHunger, fatigue, potential muscle loss
SemaglutideForces fat loss, reduces cravingsExpensive, nausea, "Ozempic face" sagging

Reality Level

  • Most of you won’t stick to it. You’ll try fasting for a day, then binge on McDonald’s.
  • Genetics dictate fat distribution. If you’re a moonfacecel, even 10% BF won’t give you hollow cheeks.
  • Semaglutide isn’t magic. You’ll lose weight, but without muscle retention, you’ll look sickly, not chiseled.
  • Rebound is inevitable if you quit. Most regain the weight + extra because they never fixed their habits.
Final Realitypill:

  • If you’re >20% BF, focus on actual fat loss before obsessing over bloat.
  • If you’re lean but still bloated, check food intolerances (dairy, gluten, histamines).
  • Semaglutide is a tool, not a cure. Without diet changes, you’ll just be a smaller version of a blob.

TL;DR

  • Face bloat = diet, sleep, genetics. No quick fixes.
  • Semaglutide works but has side effects. Only use if you’re serious.
  • Most of you will fail because effort > copium.
Shoutout: All the Ozempic-faced influencers pretending they got hollow cheeks "naturally."

:ogre:

(INSPIRED BY/BASICALLY RIPPED OFF BY @menas)
Upvote if this saved you (NEVER DID)
Unironically just be lean with bones. As long as you don't consume too much salt or binge on carbs when lean some small bloat is harmless
 
  • +1
Reactions: ShowerCelling
Why was I tagged in my notifications sayinh u replied to my post in this thread that’s weird ash I never typed anything :lul:
 
  • +1
Reactions: ShowerCelling

Table of Contents

  • Introduction (The cope is strong with this one)
  • Requirements (Do you even qualify?)
  • Methods (Face debloat vs. Semaglutide)
  • Pros & Cons (Spoiler: Pain & suffering)
  • Reality Level (Why most of you won’t succeed)
  • TL;DR (For the low-attention-spancels)

Introduction

JFL at all the bloated-faced orbiters screeching "just drink water bro!" while looking like the Michelin Man’s ugly cousin. Face bloat isn’t just water retention—it’s a mix of poor diet, bad habits, and genetic-tier fat distribution that no amount of ice rolling will fix.

And don’t even get me started on the Semaglutide hype. Every TikTokcel thinks injecting weight-loss drugs will turn them into a hollow-cheeked gigachad. Reality check: Most of you will quit after the first nausea wave or end up looking like a deflated balloon.

This guide is for subhuman bloatcels who want to actually debloat their face and body—not just cope with useless "tips."



Requirements

Before you waste time and money, ask yourself:

1. Genetic Reality Check

  • Do you store fat in your face first? (If yes, you’re fighting genetics.)
  • Is your "bloat" actually just high body fat? (No amount of fasting will save a 25% BF permabulker.)
  • Are you insulin resistant? (If you get sleepy after carbs, congrats—you’re fucked.)

2. Diet & Lifestyle

  • Do you eat like a fat dumpster? (Seed oils, processed junk, alcohol = permanent bloat.)
  • Do you sleep 5 hours a night? (High cortisol = moon face.)
  • Are you sedentary? (Lymphatic drainage requires movement, lazycel.)

3. Financial & Mental Prep

  • Can you afford Semaglutide? (~$300+/month, not covered unless diabetic.)
  • Can you handle side effects? (Nausea, fatigue, "Ozempic face" sagging.)
  • Are you ready to change habits permanently? (Or will you rebound in 3 months?)

Methods

1. Normie Tier (For Copers)

  • Water + Electrolytes (Not just chugging—proper Na/K/Mg balance.)
  • Reduce Sodium & Processed Carbs (No more ramen, bloatcel.)
  • Sleep 7-9 Hours (Cortisol reduction = less puffiness.)
  • Guasha / Ice Rolling (Temporary relief, but better than nothing.)
Reality Level: -0.5 to -1 PSL bloat reduction.

2. Advancedcel Tier (Actual Results)

  • Intermittent Fasting (18:6+) (Lowers insulin, reduces water retention.)
  • Low-Carb / Keto (Drops glycogen bloat fast.)
  • Dry Fasting (24-48hrs, carefully) (Extreme debloat, but risky.)
  • Prescription Diuretics (Sparingly) (Dangerous if abused.)
Reality Level: -1 to -2 PSL if consistent.

3. Giga Autist Tier (Semaglutidemaxxing)

  • Semaglutide (Wegovy/Ozempic) (Suppresses appetite, forces fat loss.)
  • GH + DHT Stack (HGH for skin tightening, DHT for facial leanness.)
  • Plasma Fibroblasting (Non-surgical skin tightening post-weight loss.)
Reality Level: -2 to -3 PSL if done perfectly.


Pros & Cons

MethodProsCons
Normie TierEasy, low riskMinimal gains, requires consistency
AdvancedcelNoticeable debloatHunger, fatigue, potential muscle loss
SemaglutideForces fat loss, reduces cravingsExpensive, nausea, "Ozempic face" sagging

Reality Level

  • Most of you won’t stick to it. You’ll try fasting for a day, then binge on McDonald’s.
  • Genetics dictate fat distribution. If you’re a moonfacecel, even 10% BF won’t give you hollow cheeks.
  • Semaglutide isn’t magic. You’ll lose weight, but without muscle retention, you’ll look sickly, not chiseled.
  • Rebound is inevitable if you quit. Most regain the weight + extra because they never fixed their habits.
Final Realitypill:

  • If you’re >20% BF, focus on actual fat loss before obsessing over bloat.
  • If you’re lean but still bloated, check food intolerances (dairy, gluten, histamines).
  • Semaglutide is a tool, not a cure. Without diet changes, you’ll just be a smaller version of a blob.

TL;DR

  • Face bloat = diet, sleep, genetics. No quick fixes.
  • Semaglutide works but has side effects. Only use if you’re serious.
  • Most of you will fail because effort > copium.
Shoutout: All the Ozempic-faced influencers pretending they got hollow cheeks "naturally."

:ogre:

(INSPIRED BY/BASICALLY RIPPED OFF BY @menas)
Upvote if this saved you (NEVER DID)
Probably works but I have been doing 60-70% of the non cope tips for years and they only debloat u over like a 6 hour period And as soon as u consume sugar or carbs again u lose ur debloat
 
  • +1
Reactions: ShowerCelling and Dojo

Table of Contents

  • Introduction (The cope is strong with this one)
  • Requirements (Do you even qualify?)
  • Methods (Face debloat vs. Semaglutide)
  • Pros & Cons (Spoiler: Pain & suffering)
  • Reality Level (Why most of you won’t succeed)
  • TL;DR (For the low-attention-spancels)

Introduction

JFL at all the bloated-faced orbiters screeching "just drink water bro!" while looking like the Michelin Man’s ugly cousin. Face bloat isn’t just water retention—it’s a mix of poor diet, bad habits, and genetic-tier fat distribution that no amount of ice rolling will fix.

And don’t even get me started on the Semaglutide hype. Every TikTokcel thinks injecting weight-loss drugs will turn them into a hollow-cheeked gigachad. Reality check: Most of you will quit after the first nausea wave or end up looking like a deflated balloon.

This guide is for subhuman bloatcels who want to actually debloat their face and body—not just cope with useless "tips."



Requirements

Before you waste time and money, ask yourself:

1. Genetic Reality Check

  • Do you store fat in your face first? (If yes, you’re fighting genetics.)
  • Is your "bloat" actually just high body fat? (No amount of fasting will save a 25% BF permabulker.)
  • Are you insulin resistant? (If you get sleepy after carbs, congrats—you’re fucked.)

2. Diet & Lifestyle

  • Do you eat like a fat dumpster? (Seed oils, processed junk, alcohol = permanent bloat.)
  • Do you sleep 5 hours a night? (High cortisol = moon face.)
  • Are you sedentary? (Lymphatic drainage requires movement, lazycel.)

3. Financial & Mental Prep

  • Can you afford Semaglutide? (~$300+/month, not covered unless diabetic.)
  • Can you handle side effects? (Nausea, fatigue, "Ozempic face" sagging.)
  • Are you ready to change habits permanently? (Or will you rebound in 3 months?)

Methods

1. Normie Tier (For Copers)

  • Water + Electrolytes (Not just chugging—proper Na/K/Mg balance.)
  • Reduce Sodium & Processed Carbs (No more ramen, bloatcel.)
  • Sleep 7-9 Hours (Cortisol reduction = less puffiness.)
  • Guasha / Ice Rolling (Temporary relief, but better than nothing.)
Reality Level: -0.5 to -1 PSL bloat reduction.

2. Advancedcel Tier (Actual Results)

  • Intermittent Fasting (18:6+) (Lowers insulin, reduces water retention.)
  • Low-Carb / Keto (Drops glycogen bloat fast.)
  • Dry Fasting (24-48hrs, carefully) (Extreme debloat, but risky.)
  • Prescription Diuretics (Sparingly) (Dangerous if abused.)
Reality Level: -1 to -2 PSL if consistent.

3. Giga Autist Tier (Semaglutidemaxxing)

  • Semaglutide (Wegovy/Ozempic) (Suppresses appetite, forces fat loss.)
  • GH + DHT Stack (HGH for skin tightening, DHT for facial leanness.)
  • Plasma Fibroblasting (Non-surgical skin tightening post-weight loss.)
Reality Level: -2 to -3 PSL if done perfectly.


Pros & Cons

MethodProsCons
Normie TierEasy, low riskMinimal gains, requires consistency
AdvancedcelNoticeable debloatHunger, fatigue, potential muscle loss
SemaglutideForces fat loss, reduces cravingsExpensive, nausea, "Ozempic face" sagging

Reality Level

  • Most of you won’t stick to it. You’ll try fasting for a day, then binge on McDonald’s.
  • Genetics dictate fat distribution. If you’re a moonfacecel, even 10% BF won’t give you hollow cheeks.
  • Semaglutide isn’t magic. You’ll lose weight, but without muscle retention, you’ll look sickly, not chiseled.
  • Rebound is inevitable if you quit. Most regain the weight + extra because they never fixed their habits.
Final Realitypill:

  • If you’re >20% BF, focus on actual fat loss before obsessing over bloat.
  • If you’re lean but still bloated, check food intolerances (dairy, gluten, histamines).
  • Semaglutide is a tool, not a cure. Without diet changes, you’ll just be a smaller version of a blob.

TL;DR

  • Face bloat = diet, sleep, genetics. No quick fixes.
  • Semaglutide works but has side effects. Only use if you’re serious.
  • Most of you will fail because effort > copium.
Shoutout: All the Ozempic-faced influencers pretending they got hollow cheeks "naturally."

:ogre:

(INSPIRED BY/BASICALLY RIPPED OFF BY @menas)
Upvote if this saved you (NEVER DID)
What about potassium (coconut water maxxing) j get a crazy debloat when I combine this with intermittent fasting for liek 5-6 hours
 
  • +1
Reactions: ShowerCelling
(Seed oils, processed junk, alcohol = permanent bloat.)
Dogshit claim for the most part, explain how polyunsaturated fats will bloat you (they wont).
  • Can you afford Semaglutide? (~$300+/month, not covered unless diabetic.)
Funny GIF

  • Water + Electrolytes (Not just chugging—proper Na/K/Mg balance.)
Google kidney homeostasis to watch your thread wither away
  • Sleep 7-9 Hours (Cortisol reduction = less puffiness.)
Your only fucking advice for reducing cortisol is sleep, not a fucking MOLECULE about supression of the GCR. God this forum gets worse and worse daily.
  • Low-Carb / Keto (Drops glycogen bloat fast.)
God your so retarded its laughable, what the fuck is a "glycogen bloat" that doesnt even make sense whatsoever. If you think glycogen is the reason carbs bloat you, than its more fucking over than I thought you pathetic piece of shit.
DHT Stack (HGH for skin tightening, DHT for facial leanness.)

Oh my god OP you are such a fucking low IQ deformity, we should destroy our hair lines to have "facial leanness". Your chatgpt thread just told you the most fucking god awful way to antagonize e2--->lower MCR agonism but you didnt know that because your mental development stopped at the age of 11 seemingly.

2. Advancedcel Tier (Actual Results)

  • Intermittent Fasting (18:6+) (Lowers insulin, reduces water retention.)

ADVANCED TIER? HAS THIS FORUM REALLY GONE TO THIS LEVEL OF GARBAGE??
"Ozempic face" sagging
nicolas cage scream GIF


Complete and utter dogshit, you deserve to be thrown off a 10 story building for this thread.
 
  • +1
Reactions: Remeliawpckhardt, antipsychotics, acm and 8 others
What about potassium (coconut water maxxing) j get a crazy debloat when I combine this with intermittent fasting for liek 5-6 hours
Normie shit, I guess it's okay, I used it personally.
 
  • Hmm...
  • +1
Reactions: ShowerCelling and grungymallard97
Dogshit claim for the most part, explain how polyunsaturated fats will bloat you (they wont).

Funny GIF


Google kidney homeostasis to watch your thread wither away

Your only fucking advice for reducing cortisol is sleep, not a fucking MOLECULE about supression of the GCR. God this forum gets worse and worse daily.

God your so retarded its laughable, what the fuck is a "glycogen bloat" that doesnt even make sense whatsoever. If you think glycogen is the reason carbs bloat you, than its more fucking over than I thought you pathetic piece of shit.


Oh my god OP you are such a fucking low IQ deformity, we should destroy our hair lines to have "facial leanness". Your chatgpt thread just told you the most fucking god awful way to antagonize e2--->lower MCR agonism but you didnt know that because your mental development stopped at the age of 11 seemingly.


ADVANCED TIER? HAS THIS FORUM REALLY GONE TO THIS LEVEL OF GARBAGE??


nicolas cage scream GIF


Complete and utter dogshit, you deserve to be thrown off a 10 story building for this thread.
Ty clav for the roast
 
  • JFL
Reactions: diditeverbegin, ShowerCelling and Clavicular

Table of Contents

  • Introduction (The cope is strong with this one)
  • Requirements (Do you even qualify?)
  • Methods (Face debloat vs. Semaglutide)
  • Pros & Cons (Spoiler: Pain & suffering)
  • Reality Level (Why most of you won’t succeed)
  • TL;DR (For the low-attention-spancels)

Introduction

JFL at all the bloated-faced orbiters screeching "just drink water bro!" while looking like the Michelin Man’s ugly cousin. Face bloat isn’t just water retention—it’s a mix of poor diet, bad habits, and genetic-tier fat distribution that no amount of ice rolling will fix.

And don’t even get me started on the Semaglutide hype. Every TikTokcel thinks injecting weight-loss drugs will turn them into a hollow-cheeked gigachad. Reality check: Most of you will quit after the first nausea wave or end up looking like a deflated balloon.

This guide is for subhuman bloatcels who want to actually debloat their face and body—not just cope with useless "tips."



Requirements

Before you waste time and money, ask yourself:

1. Genetic Reality Check

  • Do you store fat in your face first? (If yes, you’re fighting genetics.)
  • Is your "bloat" actually just high body fat? (No amount of fasting will save a 25% BF permabulker.)
  • Are you insulin resistant? (If you get sleepy after carbs, congrats—you’re fucked.)

2. Diet & Lifestyle

  • Do you eat like a fat dumpster? (Seed oils, processed junk, alcohol = permanent bloat.)
  • Do you sleep 5 hours a night? (High cortisol = moon face.)
  • Are you sedentary? (Lymphatic drainage requires movement, lazycel.)

3. Financial & Mental Prep

  • Can you afford Semaglutide? (~$300+/month, not covered unless diabetic.)
  • Can you handle side effects? (Nausea, fatigue, "Ozempic face" sagging.)
  • Are you ready to change habits permanently? (Or will you rebound in 3 months?)

Methods

1. Normie Tier (For Copers)

  • Water + Electrolytes (Not just chugging—proper Na/K/Mg balance.)
  • Reduce Sodium & Processed Carbs (No more ramen, bloatcel.)
  • Sleep 7-9 Hours (Cortisol reduction = less puffiness.)
  • Guasha / Ice Rolling (Temporary relief, but better than nothing.)
Reality Level: -0.5 to -1 PSL bloat reduction.

2. Advancedcel Tier (Actual Results)

  • Intermittent Fasting (18:6+) (Lowers insulin, reduces water retention.)
  • Low-Carb / Keto (Drops glycogen bloat fast.)
  • Dry Fasting (24-48hrs, carefully) (Extreme debloat, but risky.)
  • Prescription Diuretics (Sparingly) (Dangerous if abused.)
Reality Level: -1 to -2 PSL if consistent.

3. Giga Autist Tier (Semaglutidemaxxing)

  • Semaglutide (Wegovy/Ozempic) (Suppresses appetite, forces fat loss.)
  • GH + DHT Stack (HGH for skin tightening, DHT for facial leanness.)
  • Plasma Fibroblasting (Non-surgical skin tightening post-weight loss.)
Reality Level: -2 to -3 PSL if done perfectly.


Pros & Cons

MethodProsCons
Normie TierEasy, low riskMinimal gains, requires consistency
AdvancedcelNoticeable debloatHunger, fatigue, potential muscle loss
SemaglutideForces fat loss, reduces cravingsExpensive, nausea, "Ozempic face" sagging

Reality Level

  • Most of you won’t stick to it. You’ll try fasting for a day, then binge on McDonald’s.
  • Genetics dictate fat distribution. If you’re a moonfacecel, even 10% BF won’t give you hollow cheeks.
  • Semaglutide isn’t magic. You’ll lose weight, but without muscle retention, you’ll look sickly, not chiseled.
  • Rebound is inevitable if you quit. Most regain the weight + extra because they never fixed their habits.
Final Realitypill:

  • If you’re >20% BF, focus on actual fat loss before obsessing over bloat.
  • If you’re lean but still bloated, check food intolerances (dairy, gluten, histamines).
  • Semaglutide is a tool, not a cure. Without diet changes, you’ll just be a smaller version of a blob.

TL;DR

  • Face bloat = diet, sleep, genetics. No quick fixes.
  • Semaglutide works but has side effects. Only use if you’re serious.
  • Most of you will fail because effort > copium.
Shoutout: All the Ozempic-faced influencers pretending they got hollow cheeks "naturally."

:ogre:

(INSPIRED BY/BASICALLY RIPPED OFF BY @menas)
Upvote if this saved you (NEVER DID)
Mirin effort greycel
 
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  • JFL
Reactions: Franco333, Clavicular, ShowerCelling and 2 others
Nice post, bookmarked :feelsmage:
 
  • +1
Reactions: ShowerCelling
Dogshit claim for the most part, explain how polyunsaturated fats will bloat you (they wont).

Funny GIF


Google kidney homeostasis to watch your thread wither away

Your only fucking advice for reducing cortisol is sleep, not a fucking MOLECULE about supression of the GCR. God this forum gets worse and worse daily.

God your so retarded its laughable, what the fuck is a "glycogen bloat" that doesnt even make sense whatsoever. If you think glycogen is the reason carbs bloat you, than its more fucking over than I thought you pathetic piece of shit.


Oh my god OP you are such a fucking low IQ deformity, we should destroy our hair lines to have "facial leanness". Your chatgpt thread just told you the most fucking god awful way to antagonize e2--->lower MCR agonism but you didnt know that because your mental development stopped at the age of 11 seemingly.


ADVANCED TIER? HAS THIS FORUM REALLY GONE TO THIS LEVEL OF GARBAGE??


nicolas cage scream GIF


Complete and utter dogshit, you deserve to be thrown off a 10 story building for this thread.
Clav u ever thought about pursuing a career or just getting a job in general
 
  • +1
Reactions: Franco333 and Dojo
Dogshit claim for the most part, explain how polyunsaturated fats will bloat you (they wont).

Funny GIF


Google kidney homeostasis to watch your thread wither away

Your only fucking advice for reducing cortisol is sleep, not a fucking MOLECULE about supression of the GCR. God this forum gets worse and worse daily.

God your so retarded its laughable, what the fuck is a "glycogen bloat" that doesnt even make sense whatsoever. If you think glycogen is the reason carbs bloat you, than its more fucking over than I thought you pathetic piece of shit.


Oh my god OP you are such a fucking low IQ deformity, we should destroy our hair lines to have "facial leanness". Your chatgpt thread just told you the most fucking god awful way to antagonize e2--->lower MCR agonism but you didnt know that because your mental development stopped at the age of 11 seemingly.


ADVANCED TIER? HAS THIS FORUM REALLY GONE TO THIS LEVEL OF GARBAGE??


nicolas cage scream GIF


Complete and utter dogshit, you deserve to be thrown off a 10 story building for this thread.
Bodied him king ✌🏻🥺🥺
 
  • JFL
Reactions: Dojo
Bodied him king ✌🏻🥺🥺
I'll never forget it. He's super tall bro and like its super intimidating when he has so many bodyguards around him and he came in, I was so nervous but when he stuck his hand out and smiled I felt safe. Just the way he asserted himself, the way he talked, the way he taught me his way of life the way he was fearless. I understand why theres alot of men that wanna listen to him. He's not Jesus Christ though so he's not gonna be perfect. I know that this guys an influential man and when I see this man I know that God's using him regardless of how he feels it. I know that God is using @Clavicular to mend or bend to the will of what God's will is
 
  • JFL
Reactions: diditeverbegin and choppedshyt
I'll never forget it. He's super tall bro and like its super intimidating when he has so many bodyguards around him and he came in, I was so nervous but when he stuck his hand out and smiled I felt safe. Just the way he asserted himself, the way he talked, the way he taught me his way of life the way he was fearless. I understand why theres alot of men that wanna listen to him. He's not Jesus Christ though so he's not gonna be perfect. I know that this guys an influential man and when I see this man I know that God's using him regardless of how he feels it. I know that God is using @Clavicular to mend or bend to the will of what God's will is
Jokes aside u gotta nuke this thread brev, you not seeing the amount of people saying they're gonna bookmark or take your advice? :lul:
 
  • +1
Reactions: Dojo

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