Alienmaxxer
That is exactly why humans can never achieve it
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2025
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I hate this stupid unfair disability where you will be trashed and rejected and ignored no matter how smart or attractive or talented or nice etc etc you are, it literally doesn't matter one bit because you'll be treated like a diseased clumsy retarded subhuman child no matter what. It's so fucking unfair. Being born 5'0 IS NOTHING NOT EVEN CLOSE AS BAD to being autistic. Not even in the same neighbourhood. I literally have no friends where I live, not a single one. I have no one to talk to or go out with irl. Everyone I talk to excommunicates me like a stinky subhuman from their lives after a few weeks. I ROT IN MY ROOM AND DO MATH. I'm forced to be a lonely hermit rotting away in his room while getting brutally friend mogged and experience mogged by everyone around me when I go outside, with friend groups relaxing in the sun having fun while I have to walk by and suffer looking at their happiness LIKE A CUCK. Absolutely brutal.
The best I can do is come up with increasingly autistic and elaborate and detailed attempts at making people accept me like an episode of fucking Watamote. And they always fail and leave me even more hurt since my brain copes so when reality reveals itself that I am an abused disabled reject it hurts even more and brings all my negative memories back of getting treated like an abused dog. It copes and thinks "no bro people actually don't hate who you fundamentally are" and ignores all negative memories of me getting brutally abandoned by friends and rejected, then when the truth is revealed all the memories come rushing back like Deathnote when Light touches the notebook again. I hate it so much.
I remember when I was younger, I would be a jester since it was the only way people would accept me, and anytime I would reveal anything genuine about my tastes (say in music) or opinions they would immediately be shat on and called trash and treated as ridiculous. So I would have to pretend they were also jokes. I at least stood up for myself by joking back when people would try to shit talk me. Eventually even though I was a jester I was brutally abandoned all the same. The "person" I talked to the most was probably my little dog after that. I've since moved away, and she died a few weeks ago.
I cry multiple times a day over my garbage unfair life. I've tried so many intricate autistic strategies and they all failed one after the other just because who I fundamentally am at my core is so unlikeable to others. And there is nothing I can do to change it because it's baked into my disabled brain.
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