ja37viggenlover
Iron
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2023
- Posts
- 67
- Reputation
- 32
TL
R - black dude with no culture, no athletic ability, and no ability to discern friendship from romantic interest cries about life
For starters, I live in one of the whitest states in America with nearly no black or any other types of people of color in the state except for the large cities. In theory, I don’t look bad because I’m 5’10, 220, 19% bf with a 6’2 wingspan and a 18 inch bidelt and I’m quite built, but I’m absolutely fucking neurotic in every aspect of socialization to the point where I make a lot of friends simply because I’m “funny” when in reality I’m just brash, abrasive, and uncaring about myself, my voice is painfully monotone and while living in this white state my parents took 0 effort to give me any sort of African culture, saying “acting African or black is how you don’t succeed in America”, so I’m just a lame ass nigga. When it comes to sports, my parents never let me take any sport seriously because they wanted me to focus on school more than sports so now coming into highschool I can barely play basketball besides some post moves (because I used to be 250-260 and 5’7 so I played center my younger years), and I was talking with a mixed girl for 2 weeks when I found out she was lesbian from my homegirl (whose also lesbian), and that same homegirl went and told the mixed girl I liked her and today she posted “pink triangle” on her instagram notes (a song about a man finding out the woman he likes is lesbian), fucking nothing is going good for me here besides my academics. I can’t identify myself with anybody or anything and it’s pissing me off, every black friend I have says I act white as shit, dress white as shit, talk white as shit and every white friend I’ve had that likes black culture always says “how am I more black than you are??” I feel like a fucking chocolate mint, black on the outside and white on the inside. I can’t call myself African because Africans always say “bro you’re American, you share nothing alike with us”, I can’t call myself American because “bro, you’re African why are you trying to deny your heritage?”, I can’t call myself an incel because I technically had one relationship for a month this summer where she was mentally unstable and we broke up after going on 3 dates and “kissing” once (she kissed me on the cheek and I kissed her on the forehead, I still have never kissed a woman on the lips.) whenever I go downtown to drink and I speak with women I can hold a conversation with them and then I ask if they’re taken and they’re like “oh yeah I am, sorry!” Bitch why did you waste my time like this??? Why do women love attention??? Regardless, I look like a fucking ogre, I have a weird hitch at the top of my nose that nobody else in my family has (that could indicate maxillary recession but idfk), I seem to misinterpret friendliness for romantic interest all the fucking time, I’m very social but at the same time I’m very withdrawn because I’m really just a floater friend for most people besides 4 people in college, and I’m afraid I’m about to ruin a good friendship I had going just because I fell for a woman I should’ve just kept it friends with. My homeboy whose 5’6, has hair like a girl, and pretty fat revealed to me 2 days ago that the night before we talked, he had sex with some girl he was friends with because “they were just both in the mood”, I realize that sexual experiences come for some and not for others and I’m one of those that it won’t come for me at all. Also, I lost my keys 3 weeks ago while drunk and I’ve been waiting for somebody to drive me an hour to my home because I live in a big city that a lot of other people live in, and currently I have nobody who can drive me over there. I drank 16 shots of vodka last night and 21 shots of alcohol in total and I didn’t black out and I plan on emulating what I did today because I have fucking nothing going for me at this point. If I wasn’t a pussy I’d probably rope at this point but I’m only 18 so maybe shit will get better, who knows
R - black dude with no culture, no athletic ability, and no ability to discern friendship from romantic interest cries about lifeFor starters, I live in one of the whitest states in America with nearly no black or any other types of people of color in the state except for the large cities. In theory, I don’t look bad because I’m 5’10, 220, 19% bf with a 6’2 wingspan and a 18 inch bidelt and I’m quite built, but I’m absolutely fucking neurotic in every aspect of socialization to the point where I make a lot of friends simply because I’m “funny” when in reality I’m just brash, abrasive, and uncaring about myself, my voice is painfully monotone and while living in this white state my parents took 0 effort to give me any sort of African culture, saying “acting African or black is how you don’t succeed in America”, so I’m just a lame ass nigga. When it comes to sports, my parents never let me take any sport seriously because they wanted me to focus on school more than sports so now coming into highschool I can barely play basketball besides some post moves (because I used to be 250-260 and 5’7 so I played center my younger years), and I was talking with a mixed girl for 2 weeks when I found out she was lesbian from my homegirl (whose also lesbian), and that same homegirl went and told the mixed girl I liked her and today she posted “pink triangle” on her instagram notes (a song about a man finding out the woman he likes is lesbian), fucking nothing is going good for me here besides my academics. I can’t identify myself with anybody or anything and it’s pissing me off, every black friend I have says I act white as shit, dress white as shit, talk white as shit and every white friend I’ve had that likes black culture always says “how am I more black than you are??” I feel like a fucking chocolate mint, black on the outside and white on the inside. I can’t call myself African because Africans always say “bro you’re American, you share nothing alike with us”, I can’t call myself American because “bro, you’re African why are you trying to deny your heritage?”, I can’t call myself an incel because I technically had one relationship for a month this summer where she was mentally unstable and we broke up after going on 3 dates and “kissing” once (she kissed me on the cheek and I kissed her on the forehead, I still have never kissed a woman on the lips.) whenever I go downtown to drink and I speak with women I can hold a conversation with them and then I ask if they’re taken and they’re like “oh yeah I am, sorry!” Bitch why did you waste my time like this??? Why do women love attention??? Regardless, I look like a fucking ogre, I have a weird hitch at the top of my nose that nobody else in my family has (that could indicate maxillary recession but idfk), I seem to misinterpret friendliness for romantic interest all the fucking time, I’m very social but at the same time I’m very withdrawn because I’m really just a floater friend for most people besides 4 people in college, and I’m afraid I’m about to ruin a good friendship I had going just because I fell for a woman I should’ve just kept it friends with. My homeboy whose 5’6, has hair like a girl, and pretty fat revealed to me 2 days ago that the night before we talked, he had sex with some girl he was friends with because “they were just both in the mood”, I realize that sexual experiences come for some and not for others and I’m one of those that it won’t come for me at all. Also, I lost my keys 3 weeks ago while drunk and I’ve been waiting for somebody to drive me an hour to my home because I live in a big city that a lot of other people live in, and currently I have nobody who can drive me over there. I drank 16 shots of vodka last night and 21 shots of alcohol in total and I didn’t black out and I plan on emulating what I did today because I have fucking nothing going for me at this point. If I wasn’t a pussy I’d probably rope at this point but I’m only 18 so maybe shit will get better, who knows
