Losing my dad made me worse

[louismaxxed]

when I was 12 my dad died from sepsis. At the time I was already short fat and had no friends. Two years later I got into the red pill stuff like gymmaxxing/reading books/ having a health diet etc. I thought it would help me but it really didn’t. My last year of middle school was a breaking point i remember 1 night we all had to decorate the school for Christmas. It was late at night and I was juts following around my fake friends at the time and their insults and constant excluding of me broke my heart. I snuck out to the bathroom to cry for the first time in years before being found by one of them who pretended not to see me. After returning to the group they all decided to act all nice and fake. That was the night I started going to the gym and fixing my diet. However it was done in vein as my freshman year I was bullied even more than I was in middle school even though I was 90lbs lighter. I thought it was because I was too skinny so I bulked still not enough. Now looking back at it I can see that my autism and lack of social experiences made me an easy target to them, and when I say them I mean almost my whole school targeted me. My sophomore year I discovered looksmaxxing and that was also the year I isolated myself from everyone. Nothing of note happened that year besides my discovery of looksmaxxing but my junior year somthing changed. I got a girlfriend which still shocks me as I have never been a part of a friend group to have acces to foids through them. But she found me through accidentally emailing me on a classmates iPad. She was a Hispanic mltb imo not too ugly as she was very skinny. However she sent me down a downward spiral. I stopped being religious with her and she used me for money and inevitably cheated on me. Later that year I met a girl a year younger than me on snap a white mltb who I lost my virginity to. The relationship fully made me non religious at the time as the constant sex made me a slave to pleasure however it wasn’t all good. People started spreading rumors at my school about her being a freshman which she wasn’t which still haunts me to this day. To add onto this she was mentally challenged and used the threat of suicide to keep me dating her. After breaking up I met the last snap girl of this story late into the summer. I did not have sex with her but we did other things and it was a nice feeling to know she wasn’t crazy. However her constant mood swings and avoidant made me want to leave and I did. My senior year to be honest wasn’t too bad besides having no real out of school friends and occasionally being mocked due to my past actions. One of the really brutal things about it was how I constantly felt like an outsider in my own school as I never was accepted into a friend group or invited to a party. I already posted a threat about my prom experience so I won’t add any more words to this.

I left alot out because I want people to read this, I know it’s a lot of words so I don’t expect many people to complete it but if anyone dose I’ll be happy to have shared my story .

 

[Baeseth]

RIP Dad but holy DNR

 

[louismaxxed]

RIP Dad but holy DNR

Thanks bro ik I wrote a lot

 

[Deleted member 337609]

when I was 12 my dad died from sepsis. At the time I was already short fat and had no friends. Two years later I got into the red pill stuff like gymmaxxing/reading books/ having a health diet etc. I thought it would help me but it really didn’t. My last year of middle school was a breaking point i remember 1 night we all had to decorate the school for Christmas. It was late at night and I was juts following around my fake friends at the time and their insults and constant excluding of me broke my heart. I snuck out to the bathroom to cry for the first time in years before being found by one of them who pretended not to see me. After returning to the group they all decided to act all nice and fake. That was the night I started going to the gym and fixing my diet. However it was done in vein as my freshman year I was bullied even more than I was in middle school even though I was 90lbs lighter. I thought it was because I was too skinny so I bulked still not enough. Now looking back at it I can see that my autism and lack of social experiences made me an easy target to them, and when I say them I mean almost my whole school targeted me. My sophomore year I discovered looksmaxxing and that was also the year I isolated myself from everyone. Nothing of note happened that year besides my discovery of looksmaxxing but my junior year somthing changed. I got a girlfriend which still shocks me as I have never been a part of a friend group to have acces to foids through them. But she found me through accidentally emailing me on a classmates iPad. She was a Hispanic mltb imo not too ugly as she was very skinny. However she sent me down a downward spiral. I stopped being religious with her and she used me for money and inevitably cheated on me. Later that year I met a girl a year younger than me on snap a white mltb who I lost my virginity to. The relationship fully made me non religious at the time as the constant sex made me a slave to pleasure however it wasn’t all good. People started spreading rumors at my school about her being a freshman which she wasn’t which still haunts me to this day. To add onto this she was mentally challenged and used the threat of suicide to keep me dating her. After breaking up I met the last snap girl of this story late into the summer. I did not have sex with her but we did other things and it was a nice feeling to know she wasn’t crazy. However her constant mood swings and avoidant made me want to leave and I did. My senior year to be honest wasn’t too bad besides having no real out of school friends and occasionally being mocked due to my past actions. One of the really brutal things about it was how I constantly felt like an outsider in my own school as I never was accepted into a friend group or invited to a party. I already posted a threat about my prom experience so I won’t add any more words to this.

I left alot out because I want people to read this, I know it’s a lot of words so I don’t expect many people to complete it but if anyone dose I’ll be happy to have shared my story .

sorry to hear that, i hope you're doing better bhai. once you've reached rock bottom the only way you can go is up.

 

[Klassek]

when I was 12 my dad died from sepsis. At the time I was already short fat and had no friends. Two years later I got into the red pill stuff like gymmaxxing/reading books/ having a health diet etc. I thought it would help me but it really didn’t. My last year of middle school was a breaking point i remember 1 night we all had to decorate the school for Christmas. It was late at night and I was juts following around my fake friends at the time and their insults and constant excluding of me broke my heart. I snuck out to the bathroom to cry for the first time in years before being found by one of them who pretended not to see me. After returning to the group they all decided to act all nice and fake. That was the night I started going to the gym and fixing my diet. However it was done in vein as my freshman year I was bullied even more than I was in middle school even though I was 90lbs lighter. I thought it was because I was too skinny so I bulked still not enough. Now looking back at it I can see that my autism and lack of social experiences made me an easy target to them, and when I say them I mean almost my whole school targeted me. My sophomore year I discovered looksmaxxing and that was also the year I isolated myself from everyone. Nothing of note happened that year besides my discovery of looksmaxxing but my junior year somthing changed. I got a girlfriend which still shocks me as I have never been a part of a friend group to have acces to foids through them. But she found me through accidentally emailing me on a classmates iPad. She was a Hispanic mltb imo not too ugly as she was very skinny. However she sent me down a downward spiral. I stopped being religious with her and she used me for money and inevitably cheated on me. Later that year I met a girl a year younger than me on snap a white mltb who I lost my virginity to. The relationship fully made me non religious at the time as the constant sex made me a slave to pleasure however it wasn’t all good. People started spreading rumors at my school about her being a freshman which she wasn’t which still haunts me to this day. To add onto this she was mentally challenged and used the threat of suicide to keep me dating her. After breaking up I met the last snap girl of this story late into the summer. I did not have sex with her but we did other things and it was a nice feeling to know she wasn’t crazy. However her constant mood swings and avoidant made me want to leave and I did. My senior year to be honest wasn’t too bad besides having no real out of school friends and occasionally being mocked due to my past actions. One of the really brutal things about it was how I constantly felt like an outsider in my own school as I never was accepted into a friend group or invited to a party. I already posted a threat about my prom experience so I won’t add any more words to this.

I left alot out because I want people to read this, I know it’s a lot of words so I don’t expect many people to complete it but if anyone dose I’ll be happy to have shared my story .

read every single molecule and going through the same thing bhai, stay strong and God will guide us back

 

[louismaxxed]

sorry to hear that, i hope you're doing better bhai. once you've reached rock bottom the only way you can go is up.

Thanks man I don’t think I’m rock bottom because I have a decent physique and a mtn face so physically I’m at the best point I’ve ever been. It’s just that spiritually mentally and socially I’m at my worst.

 

[louismaxxed]

read every single molecule and going through the same thing bhai, stay strong and God will guide us back

Thanks for reading bro and agreed we have to keep moving forward

 

[aethel]

Condolences may ur dad and life be at peace

 

[louismaxxed]

Condolences may ur dad and life be at peace

Thank you bro

 

[TrueOgreGymcel]

You are a magnet for mentally deranged girls is what I'm getting out this story. Still life is not that bad when I read your recent posts and your took control of your life pretty fast. You got this.

 

[trueillyrian]

Hope you’re doing better bro and rest in peace to your pops