Mentalcel vent

[includings]

, I feel so out of touch with myself and my life. I genuinely don’t know who I am and what I want to be. All I have is my looks and even I’m capped lhtn and will most likely never reach higher until I get fat grafting and rhinoplasty. Now I don’t want to larp a loser as I do have friends and I’m talking to this pretty girl, I even get called gorgeous and model like irl but what does any of that matter if I can’t even talk to people and I’m so nd around this girl constantly having to put on an nt mask that constantly slips. My grades in school are awful and I have a job as a server that I want to leave for somewhere better. I don’t talk to anyone outside of my close bubble and my relationship with my family is strained at times. This has led to me only caring about my face. I see so many more beautiful people online and I wonder if I will ever reach that as it’s the only thing I have. I’m htn even if it’s lhtn so y tf am I bitching??? I’m such a mentalcel. I’m not nd but I’m also not nt. I’m not intelligent enough as so many low inhib autist on here but I’m also nowhere able to hold a convo as many nt people my age. Fuck rereading all this I sound like a whiney b*tch tard. Idk if I’m writing this for advice or to vent anymore. I feel like a victim to my own mind and the idea of going up to a group of people my age makes me hurl. I’ve edited this and rewrote this so many times already. How do I quit being a mentalcel is I guess the answers I need, because I know as long as I’m mtn+ I can live a fulfilling life. But my life is genuinely so shallow atm and my personality is so empty.

 

[se7enlm]

I feel you bro, I’m exactly like you, but not the htn part, just ltn

 

[an didy foid😱😱😱]

Try retardmaxxing, just go on to people and ask how their day was, go up to foids and flirt with them, there is no other way

 

[includings]

I feel you bro, I’m exactly like you, but not the htn part, just ltn

Trust me bro I’ve been both and my life hasn’t been any different as I’m stuck in my bubble, being nt is law.

 

[includings]

Try retardmaxxing, just go on to people and ask how their day was, go up to foids and flirt with them, there is no other way

The idea of rejection makes me want to throw up

 

[Random_Person561]

, I feel so out of touch with myself and my life. I genuinely don’t know who I am and what I want to be. All I have is my looks and even I’m capped lhtn and will most likely never reach higher until I get fat grafting and rhinoplasty. Now I don’t want to larp a loser as I do have friends and I’m talking to this pretty girl, I even get called gorgeous and model like irl but what does any of that matter if I can’t even talk to people and I’m so nd around this girl constantly having to put on an nt mask that constantly slips. My grades in school are awful and I have a job as a server that I want to leave for somewhere better. I don’t talk to anyone outside of my close bubble and my relationship with my family is strained at times. This has led to me only caring about my face. I see so many more beautiful people online and I wonder if I will ever reach that as it’s the only thing I have. I’m htn even if it’s lhtn so y tf am I bitching??? I’m such a mentalcel. I’m not nd but I’m also not nt. I’m not intelligent enough as so many low inhib autist on here but I’m also nowhere able to hold a convo as many nt people my age. Fuck rereading all this I sound like a whiney b*tch tard. Idk if I’m writing this for advice or to vent anymore. I feel like a victim to my own mind and the idea of going up to a group of people my age makes me hurl. I’ve edited this and rewrote this so many times already. How do I quit being a mentalcel is I guess the answers I need, because I know as long as I’m mtn+ I can live a fulfilling life. But my life is genuinely so shallow atm and my personality is so empty.

have u been diagnosed with any mental illness

 

[includings]

have u been diagnosed with any mental illness

I haven’t been to any hospital/therapist in decades jfl I think while I’ve outgrown my looks from as an isolated bullied child the personality and effects of it haven’t gone away

 

[Random_Person561]

I haven’t been to any hospital/therapist in decades jfl I think while I’ve outgrown my looks from as an isolated bullied child the personality and effects of it haven’t gone away

i used to think pretty similarly When i was depressed. mine was more like "i dont deserve to feel like shit because my life isnt that bad" which made my depression worse because i felt selfish.
Antidepressants or antianxiety meds do wonders, and therapy helps as well if you're receptive to it. Just what i would recommend.