MonkeyMaxxing PART 1 (DIET)

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Economical

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Hello, my niggas. Welcome back to another one of my threads today I will be discussing MonkeyMaxxing, aka acting in the way of a NIGGER.

Lets first jump into the diet
First step is to eat 4 bannans a day. Now this is great because we're getting a good amount of potassium from the bannnas which is great to lean the face and really show of our facial bones (400 calories in 4 bannans)

ok nigga so now we need some watermelon, Watermelon is really great for y'all fatass mfs because its very nutritious and has a lot of water meaning it will help debloat our faces even more.

Now my niggas we cant just eat carbs so its time for Protein, we will discuss gymmaxxing shortly. Stop by your local KFC or chick fil a and grab a cheeky chicken burger or some wings for protein :).
kfc GIF


This is part 1, if you would like a full course let me know
 
  • JFL
Reactions: seanv and ALP
Official Cock Rating Guidelines


Are you wondering what a quality cock is? Sick of everyone only rating cocks by length? Need assistance rating a homie’s cock, or your own? We have you covered with this simple step-by-step guide!


Rules:​


  • Each section is ranked out of 10. Bonus points & negative scores are possible for some categories. Be honest and auto subtract six points if rating your own cock. Round up or down to the nearest quarter inch or half cm in applicable measurements. We will know if you lie.
  • Ethics: Cock rating is a stressful process. Always give your homie and the measured cock encouragement while evaluating. Just don’t be gay. (Unless it’s June).
  • Always start with “Great Cock, Bro”, regardless of if it’s a handsome hog or a tic-tac. The Homie Handbook states this is required. Consequences may apply.

Official Cock Rating:​


  • Length
    • Use a regulation imperial ruler to measure from base to tip. If a ruler is not available in inches, do the math nerd.
    • For every inch, add one point.
    • Bonus points if length exceeds ten inches.
  • Girth
    • Wrap a metric tape-ruler around the cock until the ends meet.
    • For every 2 cm, add one point.
    • Bonus points are possible if girth exceeds 20 cm.
  • Angle/Curvature
    • Use a protractor to measure any angular variation from base. Measure vertically & horizontally.
    • Score begins at ten points. Add vertical & horizontal angles, then subtract one point from the sum for every 10° of curvature.
    • If cock is bent so angles exceed 100*°*, points will be negative
  • Hair Length
    • Use a metric ruler to measure length of a random hair at the cockbase, not near balls.
    • Begin with ten points, Subtract one point for every 2mm of hair.
    • Points can be negative if hair exceeds 20mm. If it’s a full bush, do not hesitate to be harsh.
      End of regulation
  • The Future of Cock Rating

There are many amazing cock features without regulation measurements at this time. Researchers are working around the clock to make them official, but for now these are compiled into an optional but recommended bonus section..* We appreciate your feedback. As there is no point system yet, add six points for completing this section:


  • Balls: Scrotum Aesthetic, weight of balls, overall quality.
  • Veins: health and appearance.
  • Friction: How smooth or rough is the cock skin? Scaled from Frank Ocean’s voice to industrial grade sandpaper.
  • Cut or Uncut?
  • Taste test: ATTENTION BUDDY REQUIRED! Both parties must have socks on and say “no homo” before cocksucking! Or it’s gay. Taste test includes both the cock itself and resulting load.
  • Other: Any unique features or tricks. Subjective but necessary.

Evaluation​


After finishing the cock review, it’s maths time! The tallied score is multiplied by the Cock Constant (1.69) then subtract 8, multiply by 0.85, and add 3 to calculate the adjusted measured score.
Now is finally time for the cock rating! Refer to the table below which includes: adjusted measured score, overall rating out of ten, and official verdict.


Tallied Score​
Rating (__/10)​
Verdict​
> 50​
10​
God tier Cock​
45-50​
9​
Excellent Cock​
40-45​
8​
Epic Cock​
35-40​
7​
Great Cock​
30-35​
6​
Nice Cock​
25-30​
5​
Decent Cock​
20-25​
4​
Meh Cock​
15-20​
3​
Weak Cock​
10-15​
2​
Undesirable Cock​
5-10​
1​
Micro Cock​
< 5​
0​
Enlarged Clit​
 
  • +1
Reactions: pentamogged9000
40-458Epic Cock
my cock is epic
 
I’m pretty sure I’m great cock. No deformities, 7in, slightly nerfed from circumcision but overall anatomically perfect looking cock.
 

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