Prøphet
Conquer your fear and you will conquer death
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2024
- Posts
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It’s a serious problem
I can’t stop thinking about just how sad my life is and internalizing judgment
I judge myself more cruelly than anyone else ever did
And it’s a self fulfilling prophecy because after being so negative to myself of course I fail and then I feel even worse
I’m so hateful toward myself that I feel pain in my heart when I do something corny or “wrong” in front of others
Because it disgusts me
Because that’s how everyone else made me feel all those times as a kid
Maybe if I didn’t grow up the way I did I could be a man instead of a pussy, I would be grinning and bearing, getting shit done, actually trying. But I don’t. I just rot in my room. Because it’s easier to say it’s over and feel the dead tranquility of acceptance, than to make an effort.
I can’t stop thinking about just how sad my life is and internalizing judgment
I judge myself more cruelly than anyone else ever did
And it’s a self fulfilling prophecy because after being so negative to myself of course I fail and then I feel even worse
I’m so hateful toward myself that I feel pain in my heart when I do something corny or “wrong” in front of others
Because it disgusts me
Because that’s how everyone else made me feel all those times as a kid
Maybe if I didn’t grow up the way I did I could be a man instead of a pussy, I would be grinning and bearing, getting shit done, actually trying. But I don’t. I just rot in my room. Because it’s easier to say it’s over and feel the dead tranquility of acceptance, than to make an effort.
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