My father caught me wearing makeup (concealer)...

I did not bother to even read a single letter from that long ass essay of yours.
 
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My dad found a little bottle of concealer like 3 weeks ago in my bathroom because I forgot to hide it. Larped that I took it from my mom to hide a really bad acne scar that I got the night before.

I actually had rubbed my entire chin raw from bone smashing too carelessly and it was scabbing over, so I covered it in healing ointment and put concealer over the worst parts. shit saved me so much trouble:feelsokman:
 
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A Sunny Morning (11:45 AM)

It was a sunny morning, around 11:45 AM, and I was getting ready to head to work when my father decided to check my car's oil. He thought it might need changing, so we went outside, opened the hood, and took a look.

While he was checking the oil, he started talking about how important it was to check the oil more frequently since it was so low. He mentioned that if I he had not caught it, I could have destroyed the engine over time.

car repair GIF


As he spoke, he saw my chin hair and said, "There's something on your chin hair."
He quickly realized it was my concealer.

The thing is, I had applied the concealer the morning before and slept with it on.
I did it to save time in the morning so I wouldn't have to waste extra time in the bathroom, but now, it looked somewhat cakey and obvious up close.

View attachment 4473477
It was a much milder version of the "before" look, but still noticeable up close.

My father, in disbelief, exclaimed, "Oh lord, my son is powdered. I lost my son."
He thought I had used face powder.

Then, he said, "Go inside and wash that off your face!"

BY THE WAY: IF I WOULD HAVE JUST WORN A FRESH APPLICATION, HE WOULD NOT HAVE FOUND OUT, SINCE I HAVE BEEN USING THIS FOR A LONG TIME.


Inside the House

I went inside, to the bathroom, and started tapping it off with a spare cloth, removing some of it while still trying to conceal the discoloration on my face. Meanwhile, my dad finished putting the new oil in my car and came inside to rant. It wasn't angry, but more like a "What the hell, dude, don’t give me this nonsense" kind of vibe.

The rant went on for a while, and went in this order:

  1. Questioning if I was a woman.
  2. Asking if I was mentally sane.
  3. Wondering why, if I wasn't a woman, I used "powder" (concealer).
  4. Questioning why I cared so much about my appearance and used skincare, especially if I wasn’t a woman.
  5. Asking if I was homosexual.
  6. Saying that my younger brother doesn't do stuff like this.
  7. Claiming this kind of behavior would lead to gay men and transgender people approaching me because I looked gay.
  8. Telling me that when he was my age (early 20s), he already had a sexual and romantic history.
  9. Pointing out that my younger brother already has a partner and a history, while I have no history of demonstrating (to him) any heterosexual behavior (He implied I don’t show any interest in women—no girlfriend, no romantic or sexual interactions, no flirting, no signs of sexual interest in one, no staring at women, kissed a woman, hold hands with a woman, hugged a woman for romantic reasons, had sex, pursued a woman etc.)

Context for What He Said

While what he said might seem extreme, it's true that I’m different in my social behavior:

  • People may assume, given my sexual-romantic history and my appearance, that I am asexual.
  • I kind of do act asexual (avoid eye contact or checking out women, suppressing libido, low libido, low testosterone, avoid women sometimes due to feeling guilty for being heterosexual since I feel like I can't get a partner because I'm behaviorally or physically defective and thus should not have those impulses since it's counterproductive.)
  • I am a KHHV.
  • I also have faulty social cognition, strong introversion, and somewhat of a schizoid aspie vibe, isolated and without anyone to talk to, which make me seem aloof and detached.
  • I usually don't process women sexually or romantically (and usually suppress it with guilt), and I don't feel the need for a partner or marriage or kids in my future nor process the existence of having one when I think about my future (literally).
  • Never pursued a woman, ever. Approached one time, but that was a one-off conversation and went pretty well, she was very nice and welcoming and was genuinely interested in me as a person and I did get IOIs from her before I approached. I just didn't feel connected to her, didn't quite trust her, and thought I was there only because I couldn't keep my instincts under control and felt guilty for approaching. I had to overcome so much anxiety.
    • Maybe she thought something was wrong with my personality and behavior lol maybe she expected me to hit on her or be more assertive something instead of being all friendly, unassertive (sexual-romantically, like asking for her number, etc.) and looking like someone who isn't that good at having conversations and isn't socially aware enough, and she likely thought I wasn't into her.
  • I'm also scared to approach women and, to be honest, I’d rather not try (though I'm less scared now than before).
  • Although I don’t actively seek relationships, I've been approached by women, had some women ask for my number, and received a fair amount of IOIs (Indicators of Interest) and still expect to do so at college (I get low HTN treatment), but I don't pursue those leads.

The Rest of the Rant

My dad continued with his rant:

  • He said I was too old not to have any romantic or sexual history, and it made no sense.
  • He shared that he got married late (which is true), and he didn’t want me to follow the same path.
  • He kept questioning why I wore the concealer and pleaded with me to stop wearing it.
  • Finally, he dismissed me for work after I had partially removed it, telling me to not wear it again.

How I Felt

I felt uneasy for the rest of the day, thinking about the way the conversation went and how my father reacted.
tell him that u're a lil faggot and it's ok
 
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It’s so over for modern men :lul:. Never pursued a woman in his life and caught wearing make up in front of his father :forcedsmile:

You’re forever a fag in his eyes now bro
this tbh, like why even fraud if you are too much of a mentalcel to even interact with girls
 
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this tbh, like why even fraud if you are too much of a mentalcel to even interact with girls
I don’t feel safe if I think I look bad in public.
 
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if I had a son and he told me that, I would think he's a faggot too
but I understand you as well
A lot of it has to do with getting made fun of for my appearance in the past over the span of several years starting when I was in kindergarten all the way through a decent amount of high school.
 
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brootal bro just fuck a femboy atp brootal bro brootal
 
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A Sunny Morning (11:45 AM)

It was a sunny morning, around 11:45 AM, and I was getting ready to head to work when my father decided to check my car's oil. He thought it might need changing, so we went outside, opened the hood, and took a look.

While he was checking the oil, he started talking about how important it was to check the oil more frequently since it was so low. He mentioned that if I he had not caught it, I could have destroyed the engine over time.

car repair GIF


As he spoke, he saw my chin hair and said, "There's something on your chin hair."
He quickly realized it was my concealer.

The thing is, I had applied the concealer the morning before and slept with it on.
I did it to save time in the morning so I wouldn't have to waste extra time in the bathroom, but now, it looked somewhat cakey and obvious up close.

View attachment 4473477
It was a much milder version of the "before" look, but still noticeable up close.

My father, in disbelief, exclaimed, "Oh lord, my son is powdered. I lost my son."
He thought I had used face powder.

Then, he said, "Go inside and wash that off your face!"

BY THE WAY: IF I WOULD HAVE JUST WORN A FRESH APPLICATION, HE WOULD NOT HAVE FOUND OUT, SINCE I HAVE BEEN USING THIS FOR A LONG TIME.


Inside the House

I went inside, to the bathroom, and started tapping it off with a spare cloth, removing some of it while still trying to conceal the discoloration on my face. Meanwhile, my dad finished putting the new oil in my car and came inside to rant. It wasn't angry, but more like a "What the hell, dude, don’t give me this nonsense" kind of vibe.

The rant went on for a while, and went in this order:

  1. Questioning if I was a woman.
  2. Asking if I was mentally sane.
  3. Wondering why, if I wasn't a woman, I used "powder" (concealer).
  4. Questioning why I cared so much about my appearance and used skincare, especially if I wasn’t a woman.
  5. Asking if I was homosexual.
  6. Saying that my younger brother doesn't do stuff like this.
  7. Claiming this kind of behavior would lead to gay men and transgender people approaching me because I looked gay.
  8. Telling me that when he was my age (early 20s), he already had a sexual and romantic history.
  9. Pointing out that my younger brother already has a partner and a history, while I have no history of demonstrating (to him) any heterosexual behavior (He implied I don’t show any interest in women—no girlfriend, no romantic or sexual interactions, no flirting, no signs of sexual interest in one, no staring at women, kissed a woman, hold hands with a woman, hugged a woman for romantic reasons, had sex, pursued a woman etc.)

Context for What He Said

While what he said might seem extreme, it's true that I’m different in my social behavior:

  • People may assume, given my sexual-romantic history and my appearance, that I am asexual.
  • I kind of do act asexual (avoid eye contact or checking out women, suppressing libido, low libido, low testosterone, avoid women sometimes due to feeling guilty for being heterosexual since I feel like I can't get a partner because I'm behaviorally or physically defective and thus should not have those impulses since it's counterproductive.)
  • I am a KHHV.
  • I also have faulty social cognition, strong introversion, and somewhat of a schizoid aspie vibe, isolated and without anyone to talk to, which make me seem aloof and detached.
  • I usually don't process women sexually or romantically (and usually suppress it with guilt), and I don't feel the need for a partner or marriage or kids in my future nor process the existence of having one when I think about my future (literally).
  • Never pursued a woman, ever. Approached one time, but that was a one-off conversation and went pretty well, she was very nice and welcoming and was genuinely interested in me as a person and I did get IOIs from her before I approached. I just didn't feel connected to her, didn't quite trust her, and thought I was there only because I couldn't keep my instincts under control and felt guilty for approaching. I had to overcome so much anxiety.
    • Maybe she thought something was wrong with my personality and behavior lol maybe she expected me to hit on her or be more assertive something instead of being all friendly, unassertive (sexual-romantically, like asking for her number, etc.) and looking like someone who isn't that good at having conversations and isn't socially aware enough, and she likely thought I wasn't into her.
  • I'm also scared to approach women and, to be honest, I’d rather not try (though I'm less scared now than before).
  • Although I don’t actively seek relationships, I've been approached by women, had some women ask for my number, and received a fair amount of IOIs (Indicators of Interest) and still expect to do so at college (I get low HTN treatment), but I don't pursue those leads.

The Rest of the Rant

My dad continued with his rant:

  • He said I was too old not to have any romantic or sexual history, and it made no sense.
  • He shared that he got married late (which is true), and he didn’t want me to follow the same path.
  • He kept questioning why I wore the concealer and pleaded with me to stop wearing it.
  • Finally, he dismissed me for work after I had partially removed it, telling me to not wear it again.

How I Felt

I felt uneasy for the rest of the day, thinking about the way the conversation went and how my father reacted.
I haven’t gotten caught yet:Brows:
 
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A Sunny Morning (11:45 AM)

It was a sunny morning, around 11:45 AM, and I was getting ready to head to work when my father decided to check my car's oil. He thought it might need changing, so we went outside, opened the hood, and took a look.

While he was checking the oil, he started talking about how important it was to check the oil more frequently since it was so low. He mentioned that if I he had not caught it, I could have destroyed the engine over time.

car repair GIF


As he spoke, he saw my chin hair and said, "There's something on your chin hair."
He quickly realized it was my concealer.

The thing is, I had applied the concealer the morning before and slept with it on.
I did it to save time in the morning so I wouldn't have to waste extra time in the bathroom, but now, it looked somewhat cakey and obvious up close.

View attachment 4473477
It was a much milder version of the "before" look, but still noticeable up close.

My father, in disbelief, exclaimed, "Oh lord, my son is powdered. I lost my son."
He thought I had used face powder.

Then, he said, "Go inside and wash that off your face!"

BY THE WAY: IF I WOULD HAVE JUST WORN A FRESH APPLICATION, HE WOULD NOT HAVE FOUND OUT, SINCE I HAVE BEEN USING THIS FOR A LONG TIME.


Inside the House

I went inside, to the bathroom, and started tapping it off with a spare cloth, removing some of it while still trying to conceal the discoloration on my face. Meanwhile, my dad finished putting the new oil in my car and came inside to rant. It wasn't angry, but more like a "What the hell, dude, don’t give me this nonsense" kind of vibe.

The rant went on for a while, and went in this order:

  1. Questioning if I was a woman.
  2. Asking if I was mentally sane.
  3. Wondering why, if I wasn't a woman, I used "powder" (concealer).
  4. Questioning why I cared so much about my appearance and used skincare, especially if I wasn’t a woman.
  5. Asking if I was homosexual.
  6. Saying that my younger brother doesn't do stuff like this.
  7. Claiming this kind of behavior would lead to gay men and transgender people approaching me because I looked gay.
  8. Telling me that when he was my age (early 20s), he already had a sexual and romantic history.
  9. Pointing out that my younger brother already has a partner and a history, while I have no history of demonstrating (to him) any heterosexual behavior (He implied I don’t show any interest in women—no girlfriend, no romantic or sexual interactions, no flirting, no signs of sexual interest in one, no staring at women, kissed a woman, hold hands with a woman, hugged a woman for romantic reasons, had sex, pursued a woman etc.)

Context for What He Said

While what he said might seem extreme, it's true that I’m different in my social behavior:

  • People may assume, given my sexual-romantic history and my appearance, that I am asexual.
  • I kind of do act asexual (avoid eye contact or checking out women, suppressing libido, low libido, low testosterone, avoid women sometimes due to feeling guilty for being heterosexual since I feel like I can't get a partner because I'm behaviorally or physically defective and thus should not have those impulses since it's counterproductive.)
  • I am a KHHV.
  • I also have faulty social cognition, strong introversion, and somewhat of a schizoid aspie vibe, isolated and without anyone to talk to, which make me seem aloof and detached.
  • I usually don't process women sexually or romantically (and usually suppress it with guilt), and I don't feel the need for a partner or marriage or kids in my future nor process the existence of having one when I think about my future (literally).
  • Never pursued a woman, ever. Approached one time, but that was a one-off conversation and went pretty well, she was very nice and welcoming and was genuinely interested in me as a person and I did get IOIs from her before I approached. I just didn't feel connected to her, didn't quite trust her, and thought I was there only because I couldn't keep my instincts under control and felt guilty for approaching. I had to overcome so much anxiety.
    • Maybe she thought something was wrong with my personality and behavior lol maybe she expected me to hit on her or be more assertive something instead of being all friendly, unassertive (sexual-romantically, like asking for her number, etc.) and looking like someone who isn't that good at having conversations and isn't socially aware enough, and she likely thought I wasn't into her.
  • I'm also scared to approach women and, to be honest, I’d rather not try (though I'm less scared now than before).
  • Although I don’t actively seek relationships, I've been approached by women, had some women ask for my number, and received a fair amount of IOIs (Indicators of Interest) and still expect to do so at college (I get low HTN treatment), but I don't pursue those leads.

The Rest of the Rant

My dad continued with his rant:

  • He said I was too old not to have any romantic or sexual history, and it made no sense.
  • He shared that he got married late (which is true), and he didn’t want me to follow the same path.
  • He kept questioning why I wore the concealer and pleaded with me to stop wearing it.
  • Finally, he dismissed me for work after I had partially removed it, telling me to not wear it again.

How I Felt

I felt uneasy for the rest of the day, thinking about the way the conversation went and how my father reacted.
I use tinted spf for this reason, if someone finds the bottle or somehow notices I have room for plausible deniability (I can larp and say the tint just gives better protection)
 
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My parents know I wear make up tho

A girl hasn’t called me out yet

I mean how obvious do you wear it tho like I wear literally a single drop
 
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Im just joeking :HYPERS:

I think ur dad will understand if u explain the statistics and how bad it is for aspies
What kind of statistics, and what about aspies makes it hard for them
 
My parents know I wear make up tho

A girl hasn’t called me out yet

I mean how obvious do you wear it tho like I wear literally a single drop
Again, the only reason why I got caught was because I left it on for longer than it should so I started to look bad and he gave the appearance that I only did look bad but it was, if you were up close, obvious.

I’ve worn it previously, and he hasn’t noticed.

And, unless you wear too much, you’ll be fine.
 
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Again, the only reason why I got caught was because I left it on for longer than it should so I started to look bad and he gave the appearance that I only did look bad but it was, if you were up close, obvious.

I’ve worn it previously, and he hasn’t noticed.

And, unless you wear too much, you’ll be fine.
Well how much tho like a full face?

I only do undereyes and a few acne scars

Also why do you Hve it for over. Aday:feelskek:
So you not take shieers
 
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Well how much tho like a full face?

I only do undereyes and a few acne scars

Also why do you Hve it for over. Aday:feelskek:
So you not take shieers
It takes a while to apply, so I didn’t want to do it.
I applied it to my whole face
 
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A Sunny Morning (11:45 AM)

It was a sunny morning, around 11:45 AM, and I was getting ready to head to work when my father decided to check my car's oil. He thought it might need changing, so we went outside, opened the hood, and took a look.

While he was checking the oil, he started talking about how important it was to check the oil more frequently since it was so low. He mentioned that if I he had not caught it, I could have destroyed the engine over time.

car repair GIF


As he spoke, he saw my chin hair and said, "There's something on your chin hair."
He quickly realized it was my concealer.

The thing is, I had applied the concealer the morning before and slept with it on.
I did it to save time in the morning so I wouldn't have to waste extra time in the bathroom, but now, it looked somewhat cakey and obvious up close.

View attachment 4473477
It was a much milder version of the "before" look, but still noticeable up close.

My father, in disbelief, exclaimed, "Oh lord, my son is powdered. I lost my son."
He thought I had used face powder.

Then, he said, "Go inside and wash that off your face!"

BY THE WAY: IF I WOULD HAVE JUST WORN A FRESH APPLICATION, HE WOULD NOT HAVE FOUND OUT, SINCE I HAVE BEEN USING THIS FOR A LONG TIME.


Inside the House

I went inside, to the bathroom, and started tapping it off with a spare cloth, removing some of it while still trying to conceal the discoloration on my face. Meanwhile, my dad finished putting the new oil in my car and came inside to rant. It wasn't angry, but more like a "What the hell, dude, don’t give me this nonsense" kind of vibe.

The rant went on for a while, and went in this order:

  1. Questioning if I was a woman.
  2. Asking if I was mentally sane.
  3. Wondering why, if I wasn't a woman, I used "powder" (concealer).
  4. Questioning why I cared so much about my appearance and used skincare, especially if I wasn’t a woman.
  5. Asking if I was homosexual.
  6. Saying that my younger brother doesn't do stuff like this.
  7. Claiming this kind of behavior would lead to gay men and transgender people approaching me because I looked gay.
  8. Telling me that when he was my age (early 20s), he already had a sexual and romantic history.
  9. Pointing out that my younger brother already has a partner and a history, while I have no history of demonstrating (to him) any heterosexual behavior (He implied I don’t show any interest in women—no girlfriend, no romantic or sexual interactions, no flirting, no signs of sexual interest in one, no staring at women, kissed a woman, hold hands with a woman, hugged a woman for romantic reasons, had sex, pursued a woman etc.)

Context for What He Said

While what he said might seem extreme, it's true that I’m different in my social behavior:

  • People may assume, given my sexual-romantic history and my appearance, that I am asexual.
  • I kind of do act asexual (avoid eye contact or checking out women, suppressing libido, low libido, low testosterone, avoid women sometimes due to feeling guilty for being heterosexual since I feel like I can't get a partner because I'm behaviorally or physically defective and thus should not have those impulses since it's counterproductive.)
  • I am a KHHV.
  • I also have faulty social cognition, strong introversion, and somewhat of a schizoid aspie vibe, isolated and without anyone to talk to, which make me seem aloof and detached.
  • I usually don't process women sexually or romantically (and usually suppress it with guilt), and I don't feel the need for a partner or marriage or kids in my future nor process the existence of having one when I think about my future (literally).
  • Never pursued a woman, ever. Approached one time, but that was a one-off conversation and went pretty well, she was very nice and welcoming and was genuinely interested in me as a person and I did get IOIs from her before I approached. I just didn't feel connected to her, didn't quite trust her, and thought I was there only because I couldn't keep my instincts under control and felt guilty for approaching. I had to overcome so much anxiety.
    • Maybe she thought something was wrong with my personality and behavior lol maybe she expected me to hit on her or be more assertive something instead of being all friendly, unassertive (sexual-romantically, like asking for her number, etc.) and looking like someone who isn't that good at having conversations and isn't socially aware enough, and she likely thought I wasn't into her.
  • I'm also scared to approach women and, to be honest, I’d rather not try (though I'm less scared now than before).
  • Although I don’t actively seek relationships, I've been approached by women, had some women ask for my number, and received a fair amount of IOIs (Indicators of Interest) and still expect to do so at college (I get low HTN treatment), but I don't pursue those leads.

The Rest of the Rant

My dad continued with his rant:

  • He said I was too old not to have any romantic or sexual history, and it made no sense.
  • He shared that he got married late (which is true), and he didn’t want me to follow the same path.
  • He kept questioning why I wore the concealer and pleaded with me to stop wearing it.
  • Finally, he dismissed me for work after I had partially removed it, telling me to not wear it again.

How I Felt

I felt uneasy for the rest of the day, thinking about the way the conversation went and how my father reacted.
dnr
 
A lot of it has to do with getting made fun of for my appearance in the past over the span of several years starting when I was in kindergarten all the way through a decent amount of high school.
A lot of people were made fun of/bullied growing up. It's on you to overcome it.
 
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A lot of people were made fun of/bullied growing up. It's on you to overcome it.
Have you been through that? Did you overcome it?
 
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read it all, crazy overreaction but my father would probably also react that way, unlucky tbh, tell him you went out with a girl nd she put this on you or something like this
 
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read it all, crazy overreaction but my father would probably also react that way, unlucky tbh, tell him you went out with a girl nd she put this on you or something like this
Too late now but actually valid excuse. If you are chill about it this would def work
 
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Yeah I was a late bloomer and a mentalcel just like you but I turned my life around at like 17yo
How did you do that (turn your life around) and what did you do to overcome it? (The psychological effects)
 
How did you do that (turn your life around) and what did you do to overcome it? (The psychological effects)
It started when I hit rock bottom mentally, at that point I only saw two options, either rope or do everything in my power to get better. I chose the latter. From then on, I did a lot of things but the main things that allowed me to overcome the condition were:
  • forcing myself to deliberately do the things I was afraid of. I was most afraid of social failure and embarrassing myself, I was terrified of speaking to women and showing interest so I used every trick in the book to force myself to cold approach. I'd say this period was my rite of passage and crucial for my development
  • inner work, introspection, spiritual practice, non-meme books on psychology, self development, etc
  • ascending in looks although it was a mild ascension mostly driven by puberty and leaning out
  • seeing some success from my efforts, positive feedback loops, etc.
 
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It started when I hit rock bottom mentally, at that point I only saw two options, either rope or do everything in my power to get better. I chose the latter. From then on, I did a lot of things but the main things that allowed me to overcome the condition were:
  • forcing myself to deliberately do the things I was afraid of. I was most afraid of social failure and embarrassing myself, I was terrified of speaking to women and showing interest so I used every trick in the book to force myself to cold approach. I'd say this period was my rite of passage and crucial for my development
  • inner work, introspection, spiritual practice, non-meme books on psychology, self development, etc
  • ascending in looks although it was a mild ascension mostly driven by puberty and leaning out
  • seeing some success from my efforts, positive feedback loops, etc.
Thank you1
 
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A Sunny Morning (11:45 AM)

It was a sunny morning, around 11:45 AM, and I was getting ready to head to work when my father decided to check my car's oil. He thought it might need changing, so we went outside, opened the hood, and took a look.

While he was checking the oil, he started talking about how important it was to check the oil more frequently since it was so low. He mentioned that if I he had not caught it, I could have destroyed the engine over time.

car repair GIF


As he spoke, he saw my chin hair and said, "There's something on your chin hair."
He quickly realized it was my concealer.

The thing is, I had applied the concealer the morning before and slept with it on.
I did it to save time in the morning so I wouldn't have to waste extra time in the bathroom, but now, it looked somewhat cakey and obvious up close.

View attachment 4473477
It was a much milder version of the "before" look, but still noticeable up close.

My father, in disbelief, exclaimed, "Oh lord, my son is powdered. I lost my son."
He thought I had used face powder.

Then, he said, "Go inside and wash that off your face!"

BY THE WAY: IF I WOULD HAVE JUST WORN A FRESH APPLICATION, HE WOULD NOT HAVE FOUND OUT, SINCE I HAVE BEEN USING THIS FOR A LONG TIME.


Inside the House

I went inside, to the bathroom, and started tapping it off with a spare cloth, removing some of it while still trying to conceal the discoloration on my face. Meanwhile, my dad finished putting the new oil in my car and came inside to rant. It wasn't angry, but more like a "What the hell, dude, don’t give me this nonsense" kind of vibe.

The rant went on for a while, and went in this order:

  1. Questioning if I was a woman.
  2. Asking if I was mentally sane.
  3. Wondering why, if I wasn't a woman, I used "powder" (concealer).
  4. Questioning why I cared so much about my appearance and used skincare, especially if I wasn’t a woman.
  5. Asking if I was homosexual.
  6. Saying that my younger brother doesn't do stuff like this.
  7. Claiming this kind of behavior would lead to gay men and transgender people approaching me because I looked gay.
  8. Telling me that when he was my age (early 20s), he already had a sexual and romantic history.
  9. Pointing out that my younger brother already has a partner and a history, while I have no history of demonstrating (to him) any heterosexual behavior (He implied I don’t show any interest in women—no girlfriend, no romantic or sexual interactions, no flirting, no signs of sexual interest in one, no staring at women, kissed a woman, hold hands with a woman, hugged a woman for romantic reasons, had sex, pursued a woman etc.)

Context for What He Said

While what he said might seem extreme, it's true that I’m different in my social behavior:

  • People may assume, given my sexual-romantic history and my appearance, that I am asexual.
  • I kind of do act asexual (avoid eye contact or checking out women, suppressing libido, low libido, low testosterone, avoid women sometimes due to feeling guilty for being heterosexual since I feel like I can't get a partner because I'm behaviorally or physically defective and thus should not have those impulses since it's counterproductive.)
  • I am a KHHV.
  • I also have faulty social cognition, strong introversion, and somewhat of a schizoid aspie vibe, isolated and without anyone to talk to, which make me seem aloof and detached.
  • I usually don't process women sexually or romantically (and usually suppress it with guilt), and I don't feel the need for a partner or marriage or kids in my future nor process the existence of having one when I think about my future (literally).
  • Never pursued a woman, ever. Approached one time, but that was a one-off conversation and went pretty well, she was very nice and welcoming and was genuinely interested in me as a person and I did get IOIs from her before I approached. I just didn't feel connected to her, didn't quite trust her, and thought I was there only because I couldn't keep my instincts under control and felt guilty for approaching. I had to overcome so much anxiety.
    • Maybe she thought something was wrong with my personality and behavior lol maybe she expected me to hit on her or be more assertive something instead of being all friendly, unassertive (sexual-romantically, like asking for her number, etc.) and looking like someone who isn't that good at having conversations and isn't socially aware enough, and she likely thought I wasn't into her.
  • I'm also scared to approach women and, to be honest, I’d rather not try (though I'm less scared now than before).
  • Although I don’t actively seek relationships, I've been approached by women, had some women ask for my number, and received a fair amount of IOIs (Indicators of Interest) and still expect to do so at college (I get low HTN treatment), but I don't pursue those leads.

The Rest of the Rant

My dad continued with his rant:

  • He said I was too old not to have any romantic or sexual history, and it made no sense.
  • He shared that he got married late (which is true), and he didn’t want me to follow the same path.
  • He kept questioning why I wore the concealer and pleaded with me to stop wearing it.
  • Finally, he dismissed me for work after I had partially removed it, telling me to not wear it again.

How I Felt

I felt uneasy for the rest of the day, thinking about the way the conversation went and how my father reacted.
Jfl
A lot of these older dudes will never understand tbh. Wouldn’t go beyond BB cream myself but the whole “makeup and skincare is gay” mindset is only going to hold you back these days makeupfrauding is the future and an inevitable consequence of looksmaxxing being mainstream. Old guys still think that not caring about your appearance and trying to be some sort of surface-level effortlessly masculine guy works citing famous people as if its not just because of their bone structure and status. Fake it till you make it, be more careful next time
 
  • +1
Reactions: KKKuroiso and enchanted_elixir
start doing TRT and test-mog him then tell him he’s gay
 

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