
Bitterschön
Diagnosed ADHD+Atypical Depression+Social Anxiety
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2025
- Posts
- 2,175
- Reputation
- 3,258
he did not beat me
he just talked in a voice that made my soul leave my body
every word like a crowbar to my confidence
he knew exactly which wires to cut
you think you are smart
you are nothing without me
why are you like this
i memorized that tone before i learned how to write my name
he never raised his hand
just his volume
just his expectations
just his disappointment
and it carved me open anyway
some dads teach you how to ride a bike
mine taught me how to flinch before speaking
how to rehearse every sentence twice
how to scan a room like a hostage in a foreign land
he did not see me
only the version of me he hated
the one he created
and blamed me for becoming
now i cannot take a compliment
cannot make a mistake without shaking
cannot feel proud without hearing his voice saying
you think that was good
wait till life really hits you
people say just heal
bro i lived in a war zone with no visible scars
how do you stitch something that was never allowed to bleed
conclusion
i was not raised
i was tolerated
and now love feels like trespassing
he just talked in a voice that made my soul leave my body
every word like a crowbar to my confidence
he knew exactly which wires to cut
you think you are smart
you are nothing without me
why are you like this
i memorized that tone before i learned how to write my name
he never raised his hand
just his volume
just his expectations
just his disappointment
and it carved me open anyway
some dads teach you how to ride a bike
mine taught me how to flinch before speaking
how to rehearse every sentence twice
how to scan a room like a hostage in a foreign land
he did not see me
only the version of me he hated
the one he created
and blamed me for becoming
now i cannot take a compliment
cannot make a mistake without shaking
cannot feel proud without hearing his voice saying
you think that was good
wait till life really hits you
people say just heal
bro i lived in a war zone with no visible scars
how do you stitch something that was never allowed to bleed
conclusion
i was not raised
i was tolerated
and now love feels like trespassing