Jamal2222
ALL POSTS MADE BY THIS IP/ACCOUNT ARE SATIRE
- Joined
- May 9, 2020
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Background: We've been dating for about 2 years. Great relationship filled with laughs, memories, times together, travel, and so on. We're at the same university and live near enough that time together is always time well spent. Before we dated, she went through a very tumultuous period in her life with an abusive ex and a horrid situation that I won't go into but it would be "newsworthy," and we met/began dating soon after because we found each other. I accepted her for everything.
We've had a wonderful time together, until the last few months of last year, when we hit a rough patch. I became very busy/preoccupied with a lot of things (personal/professional) and there simply weren't enough hours in the day to devote the same level of time and attention to her that there was previously. I tried as hard as I could but it wasn't enough, and she was visibly stung/hurt by it and it became a very genuine strain on our relationship. It was difficult to see her upset, and I was shocked too, as I didn't expect this to happen. I was simply busy – my professional field is incredibly time-demanding/consuming and that short period of time was very, very difficult for us. She became insecure, jealous of other girls that were around me (classmates or otherwise) and they were the subject of numerous different arguments. We spoke about it and got over it, but I guess it never really truly left.
Fast forward to now. She lied to me, she had given me numerous reasons/signs to suspect something was going on, so I looked through her phone. Kindly don't judge. I found evidence that she was cheating on me with our good friend, my closest friend. It took me a few days to process, during which I felt empty, alone, confused, and everything else in the book. I confronted her two days ago. She admit to everything, the timeframe, the amount of times, the details. I pressed hard and she answered basically everything. I told her that we were done, that we need some time apart, and that everything will be just fine moving forward. We would still stay friends, at some level.
I'm hurt. I'm upset. She knows what she did is wrong and I believe her when she says she's sorry. She says it's the worst mistake she's ever made and feels horrid for it, knowing that she's messed up the "best thing that ever happened to her," and believes that there's no going back. She feels as if she doesn't deserve me, that I deserve better, and that I should find someone else. I respect myself. I respect her. I still love her very much and that's why this is all so difficult. The logical answer that I would give anyone is to get out fast, but the situation is always different when it's flipped on you. I told her very promptly that if she hopes to have any sort of relationship with me at all, on any level, that he has to go. She cut him off in seconds, saying that she would've done it regardless if I had told her or not. Regarding the infidelity, she said she felt nothing, felt lost, regretted it from the second it began, and only continued because she had no one else to turn to. She couldn't tell me, she felt too ashamed, and she feels at peace that I know the truth because she knows she could never bring herself to hurt me by telling me. I confronted him and he's done with on everyone's end.
This has been the biggest stab in the back from my best friend – her. I lost two friends in one fell swoop and am not sure how I'll be after this. I feel like something like this isn't very easy to recover from, but I do believe and trust her when she says that she's sorry. I can't help but feel like I should give her one more chance. We have a foundation, we had something solid, and building on top of it (yes with new rules and so on) would be difficult. I am not naive to think this is an easy road but I'd like some advice on how to best make this decision for myself. She hurt me to the core and I am not afraid of being single, but I can't help but feel like our story isn't over yet.
tl;dr – GF cheated on me with our friend. I confronted her, we broke up, she cut him off. I confronted him and no one will be speaking with him ever again. Says she is willing/wants to do anything possible to fix this and move on from this. I believe her when she says she's sorry. Any advice on how to proceed? How to determine if this is worth saving/surviving? Couples counseling? If we choose to move on from this and survive, how? How to rebuild the trust after nonstop lies and deceit?
We've had a wonderful time together, until the last few months of last year, when we hit a rough patch. I became very busy/preoccupied with a lot of things (personal/professional) and there simply weren't enough hours in the day to devote the same level of time and attention to her that there was previously. I tried as hard as I could but it wasn't enough, and she was visibly stung/hurt by it and it became a very genuine strain on our relationship. It was difficult to see her upset, and I was shocked too, as I didn't expect this to happen. I was simply busy – my professional field is incredibly time-demanding/consuming and that short period of time was very, very difficult for us. She became insecure, jealous of other girls that were around me (classmates or otherwise) and they were the subject of numerous different arguments. We spoke about it and got over it, but I guess it never really truly left.
Fast forward to now. She lied to me, she had given me numerous reasons/signs to suspect something was going on, so I looked through her phone. Kindly don't judge. I found evidence that she was cheating on me with our good friend, my closest friend. It took me a few days to process, during which I felt empty, alone, confused, and everything else in the book. I confronted her two days ago. She admit to everything, the timeframe, the amount of times, the details. I pressed hard and she answered basically everything. I told her that we were done, that we need some time apart, and that everything will be just fine moving forward. We would still stay friends, at some level.
I'm hurt. I'm upset. She knows what she did is wrong and I believe her when she says she's sorry. She says it's the worst mistake she's ever made and feels horrid for it, knowing that she's messed up the "best thing that ever happened to her," and believes that there's no going back. She feels as if she doesn't deserve me, that I deserve better, and that I should find someone else. I respect myself. I respect her. I still love her very much and that's why this is all so difficult. The logical answer that I would give anyone is to get out fast, but the situation is always different when it's flipped on you. I told her very promptly that if she hopes to have any sort of relationship with me at all, on any level, that he has to go. She cut him off in seconds, saying that she would've done it regardless if I had told her or not. Regarding the infidelity, she said she felt nothing, felt lost, regretted it from the second it began, and only continued because she had no one else to turn to. She couldn't tell me, she felt too ashamed, and she feels at peace that I know the truth because she knows she could never bring herself to hurt me by telling me. I confronted him and he's done with on everyone's end.
This has been the biggest stab in the back from my best friend – her. I lost two friends in one fell swoop and am not sure how I'll be after this. I feel like something like this isn't very easy to recover from, but I do believe and trust her when she says that she's sorry. I can't help but feel like I should give her one more chance. We have a foundation, we had something solid, and building on top of it (yes with new rules and so on) would be difficult. I am not naive to think this is an easy road but I'd like some advice on how to best make this decision for myself. She hurt me to the core and I am not afraid of being single, but I can't help but feel like our story isn't over yet.
tl;dr – GF cheated on me with our friend. I confronted her, we broke up, she cut him off. I confronted him and no one will be speaking with him ever again. Says she is willing/wants to do anything possible to fix this and move on from this. I believe her when she says she's sorry. Any advice on how to proceed? How to determine if this is worth saving/surviving? Couples counseling? If we choose to move on from this and survive, how? How to rebuild the trust after nonstop lies and deceit?
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