maxilofailo
you look like shit
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2024
- Posts
- 873
- Reputation
- 881
and most of it is my fault
I have to take accountability
the reason im fat is because during quarantine I never took any thought to how Im treating MY OWN BODY
the reason im at a school I don't like is because I didn't study in high school, and procrastinated
the reason I have no friends is because I am socially awkward with low self esteem, so I assume people don't like me when they have never spoken to me before
the reason for this is because during high school I stayed inside all the time instead of going outside
the reason my life is fucked up is because I make almost all my decisions off emotion, instead of logic rationale and reason
now, being teased and verbally harrased/bullied in high school wasn't my fault
being compared to my half brother all through high school wasn't my fault
but I should've responded to these things better
instead of succumbing to wrath and envy
that led me nowhere
now Im a depressed, insecure, and deeply disturbed 18 year old
no close friends
nothing to be proud of when it comes to accomplishments
nothing to show for my life
I can't think of one thing I like about myself, or that I'm good at, seriously.
I never wanted to take accountability, because then I would have to accept its my fault.
And by accepting its my fault, Im saying is my responsibility to fix it or make up for it.
And if I CAN'T, then I have to live with the L forever.
And that's a pill I've never been able to swallow.
Finding this forum, I still see it as a good thing. The truth about dynamics between males and females, how important aesthetics are and height and all that stuff.
But I've been distracting myself from reality with this forum, and ironically, I've been coping with the blackpill, which I don't even know how you could do. Thats how fucked up I am, I've managed to use the blackpill as a cope.
I need to take a break from the forum, a break from smoking weed and wasting money (and getting fat), and a break from social media.
I need to get back to reality and a proper mindset.
A user here, said Jesus reveled himself to him after a month of hard prayer and reading the bible. I know these are the steps I have to take in order to fix my life, before it's truly too late.
There tends to be a certain cycle I have.
Life is fucked--->wake up call---->Ask God for answers and follows---->Gets a little glimmer of light---->Thinks I can do it on my own and leave---->Life starts to go down---->Repeat
tldr
Im a fuck up and I need to change before its too late
I have to take accountability
the reason im fat is because during quarantine I never took any thought to how Im treating MY OWN BODY
the reason im at a school I don't like is because I didn't study in high school, and procrastinated
the reason I have no friends is because I am socially awkward with low self esteem, so I assume people don't like me when they have never spoken to me before
the reason for this is because during high school I stayed inside all the time instead of going outside
the reason my life is fucked up is because I make almost all my decisions off emotion, instead of logic rationale and reason
now, being teased and verbally harrased/bullied in high school wasn't my fault
being compared to my half brother all through high school wasn't my fault
but I should've responded to these things better
instead of succumbing to wrath and envy
that led me nowhere
now Im a depressed, insecure, and deeply disturbed 18 year old
no close friends
nothing to be proud of when it comes to accomplishments
nothing to show for my life
I can't think of one thing I like about myself, or that I'm good at, seriously.
I never wanted to take accountability, because then I would have to accept its my fault.
And by accepting its my fault, Im saying is my responsibility to fix it or make up for it.
And if I CAN'T, then I have to live with the L forever.
And that's a pill I've never been able to swallow.
Finding this forum, I still see it as a good thing. The truth about dynamics between males and females, how important aesthetics are and height and all that stuff.
But I've been distracting myself from reality with this forum, and ironically, I've been coping with the blackpill, which I don't even know how you could do. Thats how fucked up I am, I've managed to use the blackpill as a cope.
I need to take a break from the forum, a break from smoking weed and wasting money (and getting fat), and a break from social media.
I need to get back to reality and a proper mindset.
A user here, said Jesus reveled himself to him after a month of hard prayer and reading the bible. I know these are the steps I have to take in order to fix my life, before it's truly too late.
There tends to be a certain cycle I have.
Life is fucked--->wake up call---->Ask God for answers and follows---->Gets a little glimmer of light---->Thinks I can do it on my own and leave---->Life starts to go down---->Repeat
tldr
Im a fuck up and I need to change before its too late