Firstname.Lastname
Socially Unacceptable Vocabulary
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2026
- Posts
- 3,300
- Reputation
- 3,715
HELLO FDA,
I am reporting a MEDICAL INCIDENT caused by ChatGPT (OpenAI), an UNREGULATED DIGITAL ENTITY that I believe has bypassed food safety laws by attacking my digestive system directly.
Timeline of events:
• I spoke to ChatGPT
• ChatGPT spoke back
• Within 20–40 minutes my stomach entered DEFCON 1
• Loud noises. Gas. Betrayal. Immediate bathroom negotiations.
I did NOT eat anything questionable.
I did NOT lick a subway pole.
I DID however read several ChatGPT responses that were long, confident, and frankly TOO POWERFUL.
Shortly after, my intestines activated like they received a firmware update.
Symptoms include:
– Sudden digestive unrest
– Urgency
– A sense of being punished for curiosity
– Loss of trust in the future
This raises SERIOUS questions:
• Is ChatGPT FDA approved?
• Does OpenAI possess a food-handling license?
• Why did my stomach react faster than most restaurants can serve appetizers?
I am requesting:
1. A full investigation
2. A warning label on ChatGPT: “May cause gastrointestinal events”
3. Emotional damages (optional, but deserved)
I will be lying down and staring at the ceiling until further notice.
Respectfully but weakly,
A Victim of Artificial Indigestion
I am reporting a MEDICAL INCIDENT caused by ChatGPT (OpenAI), an UNREGULATED DIGITAL ENTITY that I believe has bypassed food safety laws by attacking my digestive system directly.
Timeline of events:
• I spoke to ChatGPT
• ChatGPT spoke back
• Within 20–40 minutes my stomach entered DEFCON 1
• Loud noises. Gas. Betrayal. Immediate bathroom negotiations.
I did NOT eat anything questionable.
I did NOT lick a subway pole.
I DID however read several ChatGPT responses that were long, confident, and frankly TOO POWERFUL.
Shortly after, my intestines activated like they received a firmware update.
Symptoms include:
– Sudden digestive unrest
– Urgency
– A sense of being punished for curiosity
– Loss of trust in the future
This raises SERIOUS questions:
• Is ChatGPT FDA approved?
• Does OpenAI possess a food-handling license?
• Why did my stomach react faster than most restaurants can serve appetizers?
I am requesting:
1. A full investigation
2. A warning label on ChatGPT: “May cause gastrointestinal events”
3. Emotional damages (optional, but deserved)
I will be lying down and staring at the ceiling until further notice.
Respectfully but weakly,
A Victim of Artificial Indigestion
