S
Sub --0
Iron
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2025
- Posts
- 17
- Reputation
- 15
I have come to self reflect more recently, and really came to realize something. I love the idea of a relationship but can't imagine myself in one, not because I dont want it or dont want to accept the aspects of one, but because I genuinely have no idea how. I have never even been in a talking stage at 18, much less a relationship. Every time I see an attractive guy, it makes me think that if my "girlfriend" ever saw him, she would pick him over me. I dont think I could ever imagine a girl loving me for who I am, because I never will be able to love myself. I do want to be attracted to my girlfriend, and struggle with the idea of not choosing a girl because of her looks because I know the same will happen to me. I see a lot of people on her passively commenting on guys/girls looks with no regard, not realizing they are contributing to the problem. I am not using blackpill as a cope, even though at its essence, it teaches that everything I am doing is a cope because it was over before it began. On a college campus, your insecurity is amplified if you are short and mid, since most people seem to be 6ft and are decently attractive. Really the only chance I have is with this girl from my church, who has no social media and genuinely 0 connection to the outside world becasue of her protective father. I think her rating would be hmtb, but I find her to be the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I guess I keep trying to be better so that one day things will change, but you lose hope when your major genetic failos hold you back (Very bad IPD). Seriously considering an OBO because I believe it would make me a hmtn.
One other funny thing I noticed is looksmaxxing really comes full circle. It tends to start with the gym and skincare, until you realize "it was never the muscles bro" or "it was never the skin bro" until you realize you cant really change the bones so you just go back to skincare and gym. I have obviously done other things, like work on my lashes and brows, and fix my coloring, (im ethnic, but my skin is more olive so darker is better) I used cartenoids which worked well.
I recently have trended to becoming more whitepilled ironically. It gives you peace when you slowly start to accept its over. In the back of my mind I hope something works out for me down the road, but I no longer stake everything on it. I just want to look good enough to the point im not bullied or laughed at for my looks. I feel like I would be constantly insecure if I got into a relationship as well, considering the way things were my highschool years. I wont post my face because I dont want to hear about it being over for me or to kill myself.
TLDR: DNR
One other funny thing I noticed is looksmaxxing really comes full circle. It tends to start with the gym and skincare, until you realize "it was never the muscles bro" or "it was never the skin bro" until you realize you cant really change the bones so you just go back to skincare and gym. I have obviously done other things, like work on my lashes and brows, and fix my coloring, (im ethnic, but my skin is more olive so darker is better) I used cartenoids which worked well.
I recently have trended to becoming more whitepilled ironically. It gives you peace when you slowly start to accept its over. In the back of my mind I hope something works out for me down the road, but I no longer stake everything on it. I just want to look good enough to the point im not bullied or laughed at for my looks. I feel like I would be constantly insecure if I got into a relationship as well, considering the way things were my highschool years. I wont post my face because I dont want to hear about it being over for me or to kill myself.
TLDR: DNR
