Paul.jnxy
I pin and then I stim
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2026
- Posts
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When will the suffering stop?
For context: I am a short 5 foot 8, LMTN on a good day, with a death tier frame and 15 years of age.
It was raining quite heavily today, so my dad drove me to school. Right when I got out of the car I saw this one really cute girl. Autists would probably rank her a HTB. So significantly rare. She is the same age as me and goes in another class (not mine). She did not even throw a glance in my direction although she was 2 meters away from me. Which is not a bad start to the day. Would make sense I’d be ignored. The ropefuel part is that she went out with an autist shorter and worse looking than me for a week. That was her only BF.
Let’s get to the worst parts of the day:
The most humiliating part was the fact that when I was walking with my friend to get lunch I heard this one girl ship her friend with me. Guess what: „Ewwwwww, no never. He looks so disgusting“. Keep in mind. This girl was maybe top 30% with all that makeup on a good day.
When I was walking home there was this another really cute girl. (bodymaxxed HMTB who is a year younger than me). I know her cause in primary school our classes used to do work with each other (icerink, school expeditions etc etc). I even somewhat hung out with her and a couple of her friends when we were on a school expedition). I waved at her with my hand. Just like a normal person would do. My autistic wave was probably horrible (I can’t interact with people, very high inhib in general). Maybe she didn’t see but I felt like she did. She just ignored me completely. She knew my name and everything. On top of that. I got an infection pining yesterday.( @zennn you know about this)
I fucking hate this school and all of my school experiences. I wish to be an NT, Tall HTN with an average IQ
When will this stop?
TL;DR: Saw three cute girls at school today and thought about how easy their life must be: one ignored me (normal day in the life), one humiliated me publicly due to looks and height, and one girl that I was somewhat close with, ignored my wave. another brutal day of being a truecel autist.
Tags: @Niebvll @ANON @iblamejordan1
For context: I am a short 5 foot 8, LMTN on a good day, with a death tier frame and 15 years of age.
It was raining quite heavily today, so my dad drove me to school. Right when I got out of the car I saw this one really cute girl. Autists would probably rank her a HTB. So significantly rare. She is the same age as me and goes in another class (not mine). She did not even throw a glance in my direction although she was 2 meters away from me. Which is not a bad start to the day. Would make sense I’d be ignored. The ropefuel part is that she went out with an autist shorter and worse looking than me for a week. That was her only BF.
Let’s get to the worst parts of the day:
The most humiliating part was the fact that when I was walking with my friend to get lunch I heard this one girl ship her friend with me. Guess what: „Ewwwwww, no never. He looks so disgusting“. Keep in mind. This girl was maybe top 30% with all that makeup on a good day.
When I was walking home there was this another really cute girl. (bodymaxxed HMTB who is a year younger than me). I know her cause in primary school our classes used to do work with each other (icerink, school expeditions etc etc). I even somewhat hung out with her and a couple of her friends when we were on a school expedition). I waved at her with my hand. Just like a normal person would do. My autistic wave was probably horrible (I can’t interact with people, very high inhib in general). Maybe she didn’t see but I felt like she did. She just ignored me completely. She knew my name and everything. On top of that. I got an infection pining yesterday.( @zennn you know about this)
I fucking hate this school and all of my school experiences. I wish to be an NT, Tall HTN with an average IQ
When will this stop?
TL;DR: Saw three cute girls at school today and thought about how easy their life must be: one ignored me (normal day in the life), one humiliated me publicly due to looks and height, and one girl that I was somewhat close with, ignored my wave. another brutal day of being a truecel autist.
Tags: @Niebvll @ANON @iblamejordan1