not retaining anything read?

[ChiraqJihad]

anyone here not retain anything? i forget what ppl tell me the moment after they tell me as well and pretty much have conversations in fragments. i swear though theres been times i can retain stuff like reading a receipt and recalling evverything on it but thats giga rare and has only happened after ive been working for hours and hours and feel super focused ... i cannot learn languages either and have done poorly in every language learning class ive taken even though my verbal understanding is above avg. what is the cause of this? im extremely scatterbrained and spacey in general but ive expeirenced short periods of normality. thinking it is below avg working memory + extremely low engagment with sensory stimuli becuz of extreme mental withdrawal. does anyone else expeirence this and take something like adderal?

ive legit taken classes with dumb ppl who legit effortlessly outpace me in retaining foreign language and had jobs where giga rtard methheads can read a receipt or order and just know it and i cannot do this at all and i cant cope with being so incompetent. maybe this is caused by anxiety?