Eärendil
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- May 20, 2025
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Hi everyone, I’m a 20F from Ireland and I’m in my first relationship with an Asian man he’s Korean and 28. We’ve been together for about three months now, and things between us have been genuinely good. What I’m struggling with is how people around me react to the relationship.
Before we met, I travelled around Asia during a gap year, and I remember questioning myself a bit wondering whether my attraction came from something superficial or if it was something I genuinely felt. Being with him has made it clear that this is a real relationship, not a phase or anything like that. It’s stable, respectful, and something I see lasting.
I’ve moved to the UK to study, and he’s here as well, so we’ve continued things naturally. The difficult part hasn’t been between us it’s been other people. When people realise I’m dating him, the reactions are rarely rude outright, but there’s a certain awkwardness or a tone that makes it feel like the relationship isn’t taken seriously or is somehow “different.”
Sometimes I try to tell myself it’s just my insecurity because this is new for me too, but other times it feels like people are judging him or judging me for being with him. That’s been weighing on me more than I expected.
He treats me well, and I feel safe and happy with him. I don’t want outside opinions to affect how I show up for this relationship.
I know this subreddit exists mainly for Asian men, so I wanted to be respectful and ask from your perspective: Is this a common experience? Do men you know feel this judgment too? And how can I be more supportive without making assumptions about your experiences?
@Jason Voorhees @not__cel
Before we met, I travelled around Asia during a gap year, and I remember questioning myself a bit wondering whether my attraction came from something superficial or if it was something I genuinely felt. Being with him has made it clear that this is a real relationship, not a phase or anything like that. It’s stable, respectful, and something I see lasting.
I’ve moved to the UK to study, and he’s here as well, so we’ve continued things naturally. The difficult part hasn’t been between us it’s been other people. When people realise I’m dating him, the reactions are rarely rude outright, but there’s a certain awkwardness or a tone that makes it feel like the relationship isn’t taken seriously or is somehow “different.”
Sometimes I try to tell myself it’s just my insecurity because this is new for me too, but other times it feels like people are judging him or judging me for being with him. That’s been weighing on me more than I expected.
He treats me well, and I feel safe and happy with him. I don’t want outside opinions to affect how I show up for this relationship.
I know this subreddit exists mainly for Asian men, so I wanted to be respectful and ask from your perspective: Is this a common experience? Do men you know feel this judgment too? And how can I be more supportive without making assumptions about your experiences?
@Jason Voorhees @not__cel
