Reality check - "taking it slow" is bullshit, right?

[Deleted member 10782]

I've been somewhat successful with online dating, managing to get some plates and hookups even as a 5'6" manlet. The success ratio is extremely low -- I use a boost on Tinder every day, autoswipe on everyone, unmatch the fatties and retards that are 9000km away, then copy paste the same "hey, what are you up to?" opener to everybody.

Most girls do not reply.

To those who reply, I tell them what I am up to and then that I'd like some good company. I ask them if they'd like to join me for a drink.

Most girls ghost me at this point.

Then there's three possibilities, in decreasing order of probability:

• (1) I get softly rejected with "I'm not that kind of girl", "I want to know you better first", "I am not free tonight", "Let's meet outside first"
• (2) I get rejected with "no", or a laugh emoji, or some shit like that
• (3) They come over

Let's start with the least likely one, (3). Even if they come over, most girls are not down to fuck when we meet in person. They either seem disinterested, reject escalation by saying "I don't know you well yet" or "I like to take it slow", etc.

Girls that are down to fuck kind of make it obvious by showing attraction and welcoming escalation. But it is very rare compared to the other scenario.

Talking about (2) is pointless. They are not interested or just timewasters.

Now (1) is more interesting. I've had success accepting their compromise and meeting outside first -- it did lead to fucking a few times. I have no problem with that. However, most of the time I agree to meeting outside and schedule a date, I get flaked on the same day (usually a 1-2 hours before the date). It is extremely annoying and a waste of time, which makes me want to push for hookups.

I am of the idea that girls who "want to take it slow" are simply uninterested, or not physically attracted. Am I wrong? Or did anybody have success actually "taking it slow"?

 

[Deleted member 2733]

dnrd but from a slightly redpilled point of view, which I believe, rushing things if you are not a chad will look like desperation and neediness

 

[Deleted member 2733]

Nvm 5'6 it's over

 

[Deleted member 8080]

I've been somewhat successful with online dating, managing to get some plates and hookups even as a 5'6" manlet. The success ratio is extremely low -- I use a boost on Tinder every day, autoswipe on everyone, unmatch the fatties and retards that are 9000km away, then copy paste the same "hey, what are you up to?" opener to everybody.

Most girls do not reply.

To those who reply, I tell them what I am up to and then that I'd like some good company. I ask them if they'd like to join me for a drink.

Most girls ghost me at this point.

Then there's three possibilities, in decreasing order of probability:

• (1) I get softly rejected with "I'm not that kind of girl", "I want to know you better first", "I am not free tonight", "Let's meet outside first"
• (2) I get rejected with "no", or a laugh emoji, or some shit like that
• (3) They come over

Let's start with the least likely one, (3). Even if they come over, most girls are not down to fuck when we meet in person. They either seem disinterested, reject escalation by saying "I don't know you well yet" or "I like to take it slow", etc.

Girls that are down to fuck kind of make it obvious by showing attraction and welcoming escalation. But it is very rare compared to the other scenario.

Talking about (2) is pointless. They are not interested or just timewasters.

Now (1) is more interesting. I've had success accepting their compromise and meeting outside first -- it did lead to fucking a few times. I have no problem with that. However, most of the time I agree to meeting outside and schedule a date, I get flaked on the same day (usually a 1-2 hours before the date). It is extremely annoying and a waste of time, which makes me want to push for hookups.

I am of the idea that girls who "want to take it slow" are simply uninterested, or not physically attracted. Am I wrong? Or did anybody have success actually "taking it slow"?

Taking it slow as in not fucking u in the first date is not BS. Now what u r describibg is BS indeed and i experience it too

 

[Deleted member 10782]

Taking it slow as in not fucking u in the first date is not BS. Now what u r describibg is BS indeed and i experience it too

I don't think I've ever fucked a girl on the second date. It's either first date or never.

How do you handle the case where you're on the first date with a girl, she seems attracted, you invite her over, and she refuses? Even if I play it cool and end the date on a good note, I never manage to get a second date.

 

[Matheus]

Yeah bro don’t expect girls to reply with that shit opener. Only Chad can get away with 0 effort. You need some game and talk to the girl a bit prior to meeting up.

 

[Deleted member 10782]

dnrd but from a slightly redpilled point of view, which I believe, rushing things if you are not a chad will look like desperation and neediness

So what's a reasonable pace to have for a normie? Should I always go for drinks outside?
Should I always invite her back on the first date, or never?

I don't get it. It seems super inconsistent

 

[Deleted member 10782]

Yeah bro don’t expect girls to reply with that shit opener. Only Chad can get away with 0 effort. You need some game and talk to the girl a bit prior to meeting up.

I got 18 notches with that opener so far, since October 2020. I get so many matches and I worry that putting in effort in every single one will be a huge waste of time. It already takes me a long time to go through the matches, filter the fatties and far ones, and send the stupid opener.

My other worry is that those 18 notches could have been 40 if maybe I took it slower. But who knows?

Can you give me a successful example of your online game?

 

[Deleted member 8080]

I don't think I've ever fucked a girl on the second date. It's either first date or never.

How do you handle the case where you're on the first date with a girl, she seems attracted, you invite her over, and she refuses? Even if I play it cool and end the date on a good note, I never manage to get a second date.

A girl might not want to fuck u on a first date if she doesnt want to seem like a whore. If she really likes you might she wants to not seem easy to get. However, if she doesnt make out with you on the first date, then yes, it is over

 

[Matheus]

I got 18 notches with that opener so far, since October 2020. I get so many matches and I worry that putting in effort in every single one will be a huge waste of time. It already takes me a long time to go through the matches, filter the fatties and far ones, and send the stupid opener.

My other worry is that those 18 notches could have been 40 if maybe I took it slower. But who knows?

Can you give me a successful example of your online game?

Yeah if you have a lot of matches I can understand I don’t have a shit ton of them but even with non fatties and far ones I can’t bother sending a message if the girl has bland pictures and no bio so I just let it sit.

Online game is about escalation too… I have a very high response rate because I send interesting first messages and as well a very high match to Snapchat / fb / text conversion rate, high ratio of meetup and almost always manage to fuck on the first date.

If you want examples be a bit more specific

 

[Deleted member 10782]

A girl might not want to fuck u on a first date if she doesnt want to seem like a whore. If she really likes you might she wants to not seem easy to get. However, if she doesnt make out with you on the first date, then yes, it is over

Ok this has happened a few times to me. We make out, then I invite her back after a walk or some shit, and she says no.

I usually say "ok, no problem. I'll head back now, was nice to meet you" and say goodbye with a hug or kiss.

Then a few days later I try to set up another date and they ghost me.

What am I doing wrong?

 

[Deleted member 10782]

Yeah if you have a lot of matches I can understand I don’t have a shit ton of them but even with non fatties and far ones I can’t bother sending a message if the girl has bland pictures and no bio so I just let it sit.

Online game is about escalation too… I have a very high response rate because I send interesting first messages and as well a very high match to Snapchat / fb / text conversion rate, high ratio of meetup and almost always manage to fuck on the first date.

If you want examples be a bit more specific

I'd like to see some of your "interesting first messages" with girls that you eventually fucked. I'd love to get an idea of that please

 

[Deleted member 2733]

So what's a reasonable pace to have for a normie? Should I always go for drinks outside?
Should I always invite her back on the first date, or never?

I don't get it. It seems super inconsistent

Nigga you're 5'6 stop coping and move to the Philippines

 

[Deleted member 10782]

Nigga you're 5'6 stop coping and move to the Philippines

I'm getting results, just not as consistently or as much as I'd like

 

[Deleted member 8080]

Ok this has happened a few times to me. We make out, then I invite her back after a walk or some shit, and she says no.

I usually say "ok, no problem. I'll head back now, was nice to meet you" and say goodbye with a hug or kiss.

Then a few days later I try to set up another date and they ghost me.

What am I doing wrong?

Idk bro im a virgin. Still it has happened to me to make out on first date and get second date. But idk jfl

 

[Deleted member 5583]

So blatantly concealed rejection

 

[PubertyMaxxer]

I think that was common knowledge on here

 

[Mastermind]

No "taking it slow" is not legit, ask for sex immediately if you're good looking it works

 

[Deleted member 11388]

Usually my opener is "you look like my type" or "Hey Name, you seem interesting, what you up to tongiht/this weekend/etc". Having a specific opener for a girl or a witty one is gonna get you more responses but not get you laid.
I had success with both inviting girls over or meeting them outside.
My best strategy usually was meet girls at a coffee shop nearby my place(5 min walking) for a 1 hour date, if she seems DTF bring her home after date, on the date i kino(touch) her a lot and see if she is responsive, if she seems not keen i give her a hug and try to meet her for a 2nd date in next few days at my place(suggestions to not meet at my place are usually rejected). You probably can see pretty soon what type she is, if she will be a first night bang or no so you adjust accordingly.

I think you are being a lazy ass just like me, try to chit chat with them atleast 10-20 messages on dating apps before inviting them over. I had best success that way, i did have some girls invite themselves over or me invite them over in first 5 messages tho.

When she is directly over at my place we hangout for max 30min and then i start making out with her and we fuck.

I've been using tinder and other apps for past 4-5 months in my country (Croatia), i'm 186 cm good looking and got real life game, i had 500-600 matches and from that i got like 20-30(most were way worse looking or annoying in person so i was like meh) dates and 6 slays.

So the ratio is 1slay per/100 matches

While i lived in Vietnam i had 1500 matches and 40 slays which is 1slay/37 matches

The ratio is gonna be horrible and its a fucking number game get used to it.

LISTEN TO THIS: DO NOT KISS HER ON THE DATE BEFORE SHE IS AT YOUR PLACEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( touch yes, kiss no!)
Because you give her validation that you want her that way which is a NO-NO, also you kill the sexual tension and make her think "OMG OMG i just know him for a few minutes and already kiss him, best delete his number and never see him again".
I had countless first dates that i make out with her, try to bring her home, she says no and then i never see her again.

Better option is touch, tease, joke then get out some excuse to bring her to your place, like charge your phone or what i used to do i bought water and told her we just gonna bring it upstairs and we stayed and fucked.


Also there is no1 in the world who will bang all the first date girls, me as a goodlooking tall white guy in Vietnam still had only 40 % closing rate from 1st dates.

I have more than 50 % dates rescheduled or canceled, that is normal as well.


So to address your 3 numbers:
1) sometimes i try to push 1 more time to meet at my place and then maybe agree to meet her outside depending on my mood/the girl /etc (most likely attention whores/validation seekers etc)
2)try for a few more messages before nexting/deleting her (probably time wasters/attention whores anw)
3) Sounds quite weird that a girl comes over and not bangs you, i had only a small percentage of that happen (less than 15%)

When i'm in person i never get "take it slow" because the girls realize that i am a player and they know i won't accept "taking it slow" as an anwser because i will ghost them for bullshit like that.
Also don't compliment their apperance on the first date( you probably doing that which is fukcing awful).

 

[Deleted member 7098]

I've been somewhat successful with online dating, managing to get some plates and hookups even as a 5'6" manlet. The success ratio is extremely low -- I use a boost on Tinder every day, autoswipe on everyone, unmatch the fatties and retards that are 9000km away, then copy paste the same "hey, what are you up to?" opener to everybody.

Most girls do not reply.

To those who reply, I tell them what I am up to and then that I'd like some good company. I ask them if they'd like to join me for a drink.

Most girls ghost me at this point.

Then there's three possibilities, in decreasing order of probability:

• (1) I get softly rejected with "I'm not that kind of girl", "I want to know you better first", "I am not free tonight", "Let's meet outside first"
• (2) I get rejected with "no", or a laugh emoji, or some shit like that
• (3) They come over

Let's start with the least likely one, (3). Even if they come over, most girls are not down to fuck when we meet in person. They either seem disinterested, reject escalation by saying "I don't know you well yet" or "I like to take it slow", etc.

Girls that are down to fuck kind of make it obvious by showing attraction and welcoming escalation. But it is very rare compared to the other scenario.

Talking about (2) is pointless. They are not interested or just timewasters.

Now (1) is more interesting. I've had success accepting their compromise and meeting outside first -- it did lead to fucking a few times. I have no problem with that. However, most of the time I agree to meeting outside and schedule a date, I get flaked on the same day (usually a 1-2 hours before the date). It is extremely annoying and a waste of time, which makes me want to push for hookups.

I am of the idea that girls who "want to take it slow" are simply uninterested, or not physically attracted. Am I wrong? Or did anybody have success actually "taking it slow"?

how does the algorithm not fuck you when you literally swipe like on every girl?

 

[Deleted member 10782]

how does the algorithm not fuck you when you literally swipe like on every girl?

I don't know, but it doesn't.

Also, this is why talking to girls on Tinder is absolute bullshit. Fuck it. I'm not going to give attention to anybody again. 1 message and they can go fuck themselves.

Here's the convo, over the course of two evenings (translated from Italian):

Her: Hey
Me: Hey <NAME>
Me: I like your name [she had the female version of my name]
Me. What are you up to?
Her: I don't like yours People named <NAME> are usually not very smart. [kind of an autistic reply, but I guess she was trying to make a self-deprecating joke]
Her: Do you want to know what I am doing now or what I do in my life?
Me: I meant the former, but now you'll have to answer both
Her: Damn I screwed myself over
Her: <what she is doing now>
Her: <what she does in her life>
Her: You?
Me: <what I am doing now>
Me: <what I am doing in my life>
Her: This late?
Me: Yeah, I'm a night owl, especially in lockdown
Me: How long have you been in London?
Her: <time> You?
Me: <time> Where in Italy are you from?
Her: <place> <italian inside joke about place> You?
Me: <place>
Me: You seem cool. Fancy a drink at mine sometime this week?
Her: Don't take this as a moralist question
Her: Chill
Her: But did you invite other girls?
Me: Well you're not the first
Her: Then sorry, it was nice to get to know you, in normal situations I would have met you
Her: It is not wise in the middle of a pandemic
Me: Eh, I had a COVID test on Sunday -- I'm negative [actually true]
Her: <unmatches>

Fuck this shit. This is infuriating.

• She opened and seemed interested
• I tried to be a bit more playful and build rapport
• She seemed to reply well to it
• She rejected my invitation with excuse about the pandemic
• I genuinely had tested myself and told her I was COVID-free
• She immediately unmatched me afterwards

So, in the end, I wasted my time, I gave her attention and validation, and got nothing in return.

I fucking hate women. I'm not going to send more than one or two messages ever again. Fucking attention whore

 

[Deleted member 6403]

Issa wrap w these hoes bro

 

[Deleted member 795]

Many ppl wanna be treated as chad, even if they are not.

2 years ago, a girl that i know was using tinder for meeting people and she could not believe that a chad was chatting with her, she thought he was playing her.

Instead, they meet up and they had sex. She was happy for those 3 days for being the desire of a chad, then the 4th day, during a night in the club with our friends, she was depressed and sad, cuz the chad just ghosted her lol
Girls might be interested, but if you are not a chad, they sure do not wanna run the risk of being your cum dump

 

[tyronelite]

Yes they simply don't want to fuck you. Charge her to the game

 

[ConspiracyTheory]

Instead, they meet up and they had sex. She was happy for those 3 days for being the desire of a chad, then the 4th day, during a night in the club with our friends, she was depressed and sad, cuz the chad just ghosted her lol

Hahahahaha, I love when women get a taste of their own medicine. Stupid fucking whore.

 

[Deleted member 11388]

I don't know, but it doesn't.

Also, this is why talking to girls on Tinder is absolute bullshit. Fuck it. I'm not going to give attention to anybody again. 1 message and they can go fuck themselves.

Here's the convo, over the course of two evenings (translated from Italian):



Fuck this shit. This is infuriating.

• She opened and seemed interested
• I tried to be a bit more playful and build rapport
• She seemed to reply well to it
• She rejected my invitation with excuse about the pandemic
• I genuinely had tested myself and told her I was COVID-free
• She immediately unmatched me afterwards

So, in the end, I wasted my time, I gave her attention and validation, and got nothing in return.

I fucking hate women. I'm not going to send more than one or two messages ever again. Fucking attention whore

Dude get used to it rofl, that shit is normal. Just half the conversation, also i don't talk to a girl more than 1 day i'm fucking lazy. Also "Well you're not the first" wtf ???? should have been "I don't kiss and tell " or "Yes, i have all week scheduled but i might find some time for you at Tuesday evening at 7pm"
Don't ask her if she wants to get a drink, tell her!
soemthing along the lines, i am free tomorrow evening around 7 so we should hangout at my place for a bottle of wine
If you get like 10+ matches a day and have people to swipe on consistently then yea keep it shorter.

What i used to do in Vietnam when i had heaps of matches i would chit chat for 5-15 messages and then suggest a hangout.
If a girl ghost me or doesnt respond to my opener i copy paste:" We should grab a coffee/bubble tea sometime, leave your zalo/whatsapp and i'll text you there"(this worked like 20% of time but its worth it)

 

[Deleted member 795]

I don't know, but it doesn't.

Also, this is why talking to girls on Tinder is absolute bullshit. Fuck it. I'm not going to give attention to anybody again. 1 message and they can go fuck themselves.

Here's the convo, over the course of two evenings (translated from Italian):



Fuck this shit. This is infuriating.

• She opened and seemed interested
• I tried to be a bit more playful and build rapport
• She seemed to reply well to it
• She rejected my invitation with excuse about the pandemic
• I genuinely had tested myself and told her I was COVID-free
• She immediately unmatched me afterwards

So, in the end, I wasted my time, I gave her attention and validation, and got nothing in return.

I fucking hate women. I'm not going to send more than one or two messages ever again. Fucking attention whore

Ah sei italiano? Allora sei fottuto in partenza amico mio.
Non ti ho mai visto ma le italiane, su tinder poi, fanno tutto per attenzioni

 

[CeeJay]

They wouldn't match you and go on dates if not interested obv. They left swiped 99% of men.

 

[Deleted member 2658]

I've been somewhat successful with online dating, managing to get some plates and hookups even as a 5'6" manlet. The success ratio is extremely low -- I use a boost on Tinder every day, autoswipe on everyone, unmatch the fatties and retards that are 9000km away, then copy paste the same "hey, what are you up to?" opener to everybody.

Most girls do not reply.

To those who reply, I tell them what I am up to and then that I'd like some good company. I ask them if they'd like to join me for a drink.

Most girls ghost me at this point.

Then there's three possibilities, in decreasing order of probability:

• (1) I get softly rejected with "I'm not that kind of girl", "I want to know you better first", "I am not free tonight", "Let's meet outside first"
• (2) I get rejected with "no", or a laugh emoji, or some shit like that
• (3) They come over

Let's start with the least likely one, (3). Even if they come over, most girls are not down to fuck when we meet in person. They either seem disinterested, reject escalation by saying "I don't know you well yet" or "I like to take it slow", etc.

Girls that are down to fuck kind of make it obvious by showing attraction and welcoming escalation. But it is very rare compared to the other scenario.

Talking about (2) is pointless. They are not interested or just timewasters.

Now (1) is more interesting. I've had success accepting their compromise and meeting outside first -- it did lead to fucking a few times. I have no problem with that. However, most of the time I agree to meeting outside and schedule a date, I get flaked on the same day (usually a 1-2 hours before the date). It is extremely annoying and a waste of time, which makes me want to push for hookups.

I am of the idea that girls who "want to take it slow" are simply uninterested, or not physically attracted. Am I wrong? Or did anybody have success actually "taking it slow"?

Tl; Dr you are just not Chad, that is it

 

[Deleted member 9090]

when i tried tinder dating, i noticed that even when the girls send you the first message its still quite hard to get good responses back and escalate it into a legit date (at least consistent). its like this for every guy imo. obviously some average/below average girls (whore look) just straight up dropped their location, but the high quality stacies wouldnt.

even when i straight up told them im autistic they would say ''oh i dont mind'' ''how autistic are you? if i may ask...'' or something like ''my brother is autistic so dont worry about it too much ''. basically i got positive feedback everytime even when i told them something (quite) negative about me.

i asked my gf why girls are distant on tinder, and she said something along the lines of: '' we have too low sex drives to give a shit, and get easy likes. so you should make it easy for us''. and also that ''tinder is far, like, far away from the person, girls are afraid of guys and what they might do. maybe they think you are a fake profile'' ''you have to get her trust first on snapchat/instagram (further confirming insta/snap is where most online dating happens) and get them to know you''.

most girls, especially HQNP stacies, wont just sit on chads dick out of nowhere. that only happens in the club.

so the problem is your looks (but you know this already) and that you should jestermaxx online to get a good date.

 

[Deleted member 10524]

with tinder girls it’s legitimate if you’re trying to church max and you find an actual non whore then it might actually take a bit of time if you’re trying to ltr

 

[Deleted member 11388]

when i tried tinder dating, i noticed that even when the girls send you the first message its still quite hard to get good responses back and escalate it into a legit date (at least consistent). its like this for every guy imo. obviously some average/below average girls (whore look) just straight up dropped their location, but the high quality stacies wouldnt.

even when i straight up told them im autistic they would say ''oh i dont mind'' ''how autistic are you? if i may ask...'' or something like ''my brother is autistic so dont worry about it too much ''. basically i got positive feedback everytime even when i told them something (quite) negative about me.

i asked my gf why girls are distant on tinder, and she said something along the lines of: '' we have too low sex drives to give a shit, and get easy likes. so you should make it easy for us''. and also that ''tinder is far, like, far away from the person, girls are afraid of guys and what they might do. maybe they think you are a fake profile'' ''you have to get her trust first on snapchat/instagram (further confirming insta/snap is where most online dating happens) and get them to know you''.

most girls, especially HQNP stacies, wont just sit on chads dick out of nowhere. that only happens in the club.

so the problem is your looks (but you know this already) and that you should jestermaxx online to get a good date.

Yes girls don't actually belive there is a guy behind so you need to convince her you are actually a person and not a serial killer etc, tinder is way safer for guys then girls.
But yea 70% of girls on tinder are never gonna meetup with anyone so keep that in mind.
IF you decent looking, not autistic and got some game you will get WAY better results(both quantity and quality) in clubs than tinder but they closed now so that sucks.

Don't rely solely on tinder unless you are :chadlite-chad(or high SMV) with photoshoot pictures(i have and it's not enough in my country), live in a city of 2+ million, live in a fairly non-conservative city, willing to lower your standards.

If you live in a slightly more conservative city you will have to chat more with girls to get them comfortable which will lead to more time wasting/attention whores/ghosting.

Example: if you HTN-chadlite that lives in Berlin(kinda open minded with a decent amount of people on tinder) with great pictures you will be able to get something done with decent girls.

Be real if your city is like 1 million people and conservative you have to drop your standards and invest a bit more time in chatting.

NOW I JUST READ OP 18 notches in 3 months jesus fucking christ thats insane. You have to be a chadlite-chad or have insanely low standards WTF