Sadness permeates my lifting.

[bishōnenmaxxer]

Normally I'd do a journal entry for this but whatever.

I'm on the verge of tears between sets. Was doing lat pulldowns and wanted to get on the floor and sleep for hours, just sobbing into the ground. It's gotten to the point where I'm fucking up my form from how sad I am, if that's even possible.

I can't cope with my subhumanity. I'll become Tyornelite after 2 years for sure, but I don't think I can withstand 2 years of nothingness. I don't even want sex, I just want someone to cuddle with. And that'll never be possible until I ascend.

I have a nagging feeling that I'll never ascend. That I'll be gymcelling forever and ever, until I finally end it by dropping a plate on my neck.

I'm doing everything right but I still feel like shit. I sleep on time, go to the gym, I socialize IRL and online. I eat clean foods, I'm hygenic.

None of it matters without a nice girl in my arms.

I'm supposed to feel good, why don't I?

And what if this continues past even getting a girlfriend? What if I finally ascend, finally get a girlfriend, and still feel empty? Do I just rope at that point? Nothing else I've done right has made me feel good, so what if reaching that final milestone is what breaks me? It lets me realize I wasn't ever supposed to feel happy?

 

[Suimaxxer]

Nigga ur black just thugmaxx and come to europe

 

[JackTheKnife]

We don't force you in the farm anymore, you can go out and lift. Be happy! Take advantage my nigga.

 

[Deleted member 24940]

You don't need to lift, you need to see a therapist and talk about your problems and get solutions. Think of it as a gym for your mental health.

 

[Deleted member 29167]

be angry instead listen to high T shit

 

[Deleted member 28904]

Go er

 

[Deleted member 29167]

We don't force you in the farm anymore, you can go out and lift. Be happy! Take advantage my nigga.

JackTheKnife​

Don't look at me, bitch​

Joined: Jun 1, 2023
Posts: 57
Reputation: 43

 

[Interested]

You said you take antidepressants, why aren't they working?

 

[bishōnenmaxxer]

Nigga ur black just thugmaxx and come to europe

I'm whitewashed as fuck. If I was low inhib and NT enough than I wouldn't be rotting in .org, would I?

Besides, thugmax is cope.

 

[Deleted member 27511]

I don't think I can withstand 2 years of nothingness.

2 years of looksmaxxing is nothing to me, I actually plan on looksmaxxxing for 4 years

 

[bishōnenmaxxer]

You said you take antidepressants, why aren't they working?

Because I'm pretty sure I don't need them.

but why are you taking them.

Doctors orders. My mom won't let me off them, at the very least not until I graduate. So 2 more weeks.

 

[Deleted member 27511]

I'm whitewashed as fuck. If I was low inhib and NT enough than I wouldn't be rotting in .org, would I?

Besides, thugmax is cope.

Does bbc halo apply to Somalis? You can’t be an incel if you’re black and Nt

 

[Deleted member 27511]

Because I'm pretty sure I don't need them.

Because your depression is more than just a chemical imbalance in your brain

 

[Deleted member 28904]

Remember who caused you this sadness!

 

[Deleted member 27511]

Go er

No

 

[bishōnenmaxxer]

You don't need to lift, you need to see a therapist and talk about your problems and get solutions. Think of it as a gym for your mental health.

I might get a therapist but I really shouldn't. Just a money drain imo.

I'd feel a lot better if I could just hurt people.

 

[Deleted member 19174]

ok

 

[bishōnenmaxxer]

Go er

God I wish.

I had a whole plan to actually, had a floor plan mapped out and everything. Unfortunately, I got diagnosed with depression right before I could get a gun license. Pretty hard to explain to my parents why I want a gun right after I get depressed.

 

[Vermilioncore]

I stopped lifting in 2018

 

[Deleted member 28904]

God I wish.

I had a whole plan to actually, had a floor plan mapped out and everything. Unfortunately, I got diagnosed with depression right before I could get a gun license. Pretty hard to explain to my parents why I want a gun right after I get depressed.

Where were you gonna do it?

 

[Deleted member 29167]

I'd feel a lot better if I could just hurt people.

MMA?

 

[bishōnenmaxxer]

Where were you gonna do it?

I'd rather not say.

 

[bishōnenmaxxer]

MMA?

be angry instead listen to high T shit

I punch a bag of rice if that counts. Or punched rather, until I broke the bag jfl

Can't afford to go to a dojo because money + transporatation problems. I've just been doing shadowboxing with weights as part of cardio, but that about it.

 

[Deleted member 29167]

I punch a bag of rice if that counts. Or punched rather, until I broke the bag jfl

Can't afford to go to a dojo because money + transporatation problems. I've just been doing shadowboxing with weights as part of cardio, but that about it.

get money

 

[HalfGypsyMogger]

If I was 6 6 100 kg 10% bf black with BBC my life would be so much easier
Use ur black genetics for gym bro

 

[Deleted member 27511]

God I wish.

I had a whole plan to actually, had a floor plan mapped out and everything. Unfortunately, I got diagnosed with depression right before I could get a gun license. Pretty hard to explain to my parents why I want a gun right after I get depressed.

Jfl you were really about to go ER, if you go ER tell me before you do it so when I go on the news and here a Somalian guy shot up a school I know who did it. Also if you go ER how can you watch shonen?

 

[bishōnenmaxxer]

Does bbc halo apply to Somalis? You can’t be an incel if you’re black and Nt

I get failo because captain Phillips. Also I'm non-NT as fuck. Why else would I be here?

Because your depression is more than just a chemical imbalance in your brain

Well I know that now. Just waiting to try shrooms or something like that, since I've already done everything else.

 

[bishōnenmaxxer]

If I was 6 6 100 kg 10% bf black with BBC my life would be so much easier
Use ur black genetics for gym bro

6'1 @ 160 lbs. 18% bf.

I plan on using my good genes to ascend, yeah. Dad is chadlite.

 

[HalfGypsyMogger]

6'1 @ 160 lbs. 18% bf.

I plan on using my good genes to ascend, yeah. Dad is chadlite.

Arent u black? then ur dad is tyronlite not chadlite xD but i got the point

 

[bishōnenmaxxer]

Jfl you were really about to go ER, if you go ER tell me before you do it so when I go on the news and here a Somalian guy shot up a school I know who did it.

Not telling you because you said Somalian instead of Somali.

And I'd also not want to get this site taken down. It's pretty good.

Also if you go ER how can you watch shonen?

I don't see the correlation.

 

[Deleted member 27511]

I might get a therapist but I really shouldn't. Just a money drain imo.

I'd feel a lot better if I could just hurt people.

Therapy is a cope look up Wilkes Mcdermid, ricecel roped because he saw too many Asian foids being bleached by BWC. He told peopl about his problems they just gaslighted him. He went to therapy and they told him to sit down and stare at an orange for 2 hours. You can guess how effective that “therapy” was.

 

[bishōnenmaxxer]

Therapy is a cope look up Wilkes Mcdermid, ricecel roped because he saw too many Asian foids being bleached by BWC. He told peopl about his problems they just gaslighted him. He went to therapy and they told him to sit down and stare at an orange for 2 hours. You can guess how effective that “therapy” was.

Didn't he have a girlfriend? And a white one at that?

 

[Deleted member 27511]

Didn't he have a girlfriend? And a white one at that?

No he didn’t

 

[Deleted member 27511]

Not telling you because you said Somalian instead of Somali.

Sorry also if you’re going to go ER wait till your atleast 25 going ER at only 18 is kinda pathetic