Brava
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Intro
Hello guys, this is a pretty sensitive topic, so I would please ask for all the troll posts to stay away just this one time. Threads like these are sometimes needed; many people go through mental hardships, and some may turn to self-harm as a way of coping. My goal with this post is to reach out to those in need of some hopefuel struggling with these poor habits. What may start as a joke or something unserious, turns into countless hours of pain just so the person can escape reality, away from their problems, just for those moments. But unfortunately that is not a healthy way to go about things, self-harm with time destroys the human body. The minor cuts or burns eventually are not enough, so people escalate the self-destruction to bigger cuts and bigger burns, and eventually a pathway like this could lead to the unfortunate end of su1c1de.
This thread is not meant to judge or shame anyone who struggles with self-harm. Rather, it is meant to remind you that you are not beyond help, recovery is possible, and your struggles do not have to define the rest of your life. No matter how long you have been struggling, it is never too late to take a different path and reach out for support. Hopefully, this thread can offer even a small amount of hope to someone who needs it.
Let's begin…
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What is self harm?
Self-harm: The intentional act of hurting your own body, usually as a way to cope with deep emotional pain or stress, without the intent to end your life
Self harm is generally a response to psychological or emotional distress.
Although I do think that there are people out there that could do it for the pure desire of trying to get more attention, it would still be a minor minority doing that.
So the question arises: Why would someone deliberately cause themselves harm, and why can stopping it be so difficult?
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Why does self harm start — The psychology
Contributing factors ; what can make someone vulnerable ?
These don’t automatically cause self-harm, but they increase vulnerability and could potentially make someone more susceptible to self-harm.
- Unsupportive family environment
- Emotionally unavailable parents
- Constant criticism or conflict
- Neglect
- Feeling misunderstood at home
- Lack of emotional safety
- Lack of social support
- Few close friends
- Feeling isolated or rejected
- Believing nobody would understand
- Difficulty trusting others
- No one to talk to about deep issues
- No friends at all
- Bullying or social rejection
- Being bullied at school or online
- Persistent humiliation or exclusion
- Difficult peer relationships
- Trauma or prolonged adversity
- Experiencing traumatic events
- Major instability or repeated stressful experiences
- Living in an environment that feels unsafe or unpredictable
- Difficulty with emotional regulation
- Having intense emotions that feel difficult to control
- Not having learned healthy ways to process distress
- Difficulty communicating feelings
- Chronic stress
- Academic pressure
- Family problems
- Relationship difficulties
- Major life changes
- Negative self-perception
- Persistent self-criticism
- Feeling worthless or like a burden
- Strong feelings of guilt or shame
- Exposure and social learning
- Encountering self-harm through peers or online communities can sometimes influence how someone understands or responds to distress.
Psychological reasons — direct pathways to self harm…
These are the immediate reasons someone may turn to self-harm.
- Managing overwhelming emotions
- Trying to cope with intense sadness, anger, anxiety, or distress.
- Seeking temporary emotional relief
- Attempting to change an emotional state that may feel unbearable.
- Breaking through emotional numbness
- Some people describe feeling disconnected or emotionally numb and seeking some kind of noticeable emotional change.
- Regaining a sense of control
- When circumstances feel uncontrollable, a person may seek something they perceive as being within their control.
- Self-punishment
- Someone may believe they deserve punishment because of guilt, shame, or extremely negative beliefs about themselves. (Emotional self-harm becoming physical)
- Communicating distress
- A person may struggle to put their emotional pain into words and use behavior as an expression of distress. This doesn’t always mean self-harm is simply “attention-seeking.”
- Interrupting overwhelming thoughts
- Trying to shift attention away and distract themselves from distressing thoughts.
- Learned coping mechanism
- If a person experiences temporary relief from distress after self-harming, their brain can learn to associate the behavior with that change in emotional state. Once this becomes routine, it’s hard to break.
- Attention seeking
- A lack of attention to oneself may make them want to begin hurting themselves to receive special kind of attention.
*The most important thing that we need to understand is that there is not one single reason for why self-harm can start. Two people can engage in the same activity with different kinds of reasons and intentions.*
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Different forms of Self-Harm
Emotional self harm
Emotional self harm can be as little as cursing ourselves out, and as big as becoming your own worst enemy.
Main origin: Usually when someone is surrounded by negative people who spread their negativity to others by telling them that they are not good enough and things of that nature, usually this mentality transfers over to those affected by it, so they eventually start to hold grudges against themselves and start to think about themselves negatively.
Main origin: Usually when someone is surrounded by negative people who spread their negativity to others by telling them that they are not good enough and things of that nature, usually this mentality transfers over to those affected by it, so they eventually start to hold grudges against themselves and start to think about themselves negatively.
Physical self-harm
Physical self-harm is when someone physically hurts themselves intentionally. This usually is done through cutting, hitting, injuring, scratching, burning themselves.
Main origin: Physical self-harm may begin as an attempt to cope with emotional pain, rather than from a desire to experience physical pain itself. Other common origins: desire for attention, loneliness, and search for short-term relief.
Main origin: Physical self-harm may begin as an attempt to cope with emotional pain, rather than from a desire to experience physical pain itself. Other common origins: desire for attention, loneliness, and search for short-term relief.
- Substance-related self-harm — Misusing substances with the intention of harming oneself.
- Self-sabotage — Deliberately damaging one’s relationships, education, opportunities, or other important parts of life because of negative beliefs about oneself.
- Self-neglect — Deliberately failing to care for basic needs or one’s wellbeing.
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The Cycle — why does it continue ?
We know why it starts… but why does one continue to partake in the acts of self-harm ? Especially on a consistent basis…
Here are the biggest reasons as to why people continue…
- To feel pain.
- Treating SH like a deserved punishment.
- Endorphin release
- A way of coping with numbness, vanity, futility.
When unbearable emotions get altered by temporary relief; regardless of the specific purpose that relief brings, this makes the person more comfortable with self harm and makes it more a part of their daily life and also more reliant on self-harm as a form of relief from distress. So in the long run, it's not even because the person genuinely wants to put harm on themselves, self-harm becomes subconsciously a part of their lifestyle, making it more normalized and less scary.
*An important thing to note is that this is temporary relief. The purpose of this relief does not matter, it never solves the underlying problem.*
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The philosophical side of SH — Why does someone turn their suffering against themselves?
Questions to ask yourself (regardless if you struggle with SH or not)
- Why do humans sometimes respond to pain by directing it toward themselves ?
- Why do us humans continue to hide our struggles until the very end ?
- Does suffering have meaning, or do humans sometimes create meaning around their suffering ?
- Is it truly impossible for someone to recover by themselves ?
- Why does a person's lowest mental health level dictate the rest of their lives ?
I believe that self-harm is so much deeper than just grabbing a razor and cutting yourself; it is something that not only indicates a person's mental health but also when the person hides their injuries, it expands the person's mental low even deeper.
What is the person actually trying to escape? What pain has become so difficult to carry that the person feels they need another way to cope with it?
What I see is a person with a strong level of endurance, not giving up on life, but expressing their overwhelming distress, although in private, it's still something they do to keep their will to live somewhat alive.
“A struggle to remain afloat when the person has not yet found healthier ways to carry their pain.”
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Why “just stop” doesn’t work
The goal is not to just cease the habit of self-harm; but to solve the root problem, fix the emotional uncertainty, and resolve the negative mentality.
If a person who does self-harm on a consistent basis somehow manages to get himself to suddenly stop, that would be amazing! But how long would that last ? And would this sudden “recovery” be enough to restore their mental health ?
In my opinion it’s best to begin your recovery process from the root of the cause and knock it down; the rest will follow!
If a person who does self-harm on a consistent basis somehow manages to get himself to suddenly stop, that would be amazing! But how long would that last ? And would this sudden “recovery” be enough to restore their mental health ?
In my opinion it’s best to begin your recovery process from the root of the cause and knock it down; the rest will follow!
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Starting the recovery process…
*Before we discuss how you can take action against self-harm , and stop doing it, I want to preface by saying that my pms are open to anyone in need of help, I’m a genuine rotter and rarely go out of the house, so don’t hesitate thinking that you are bothering me in any way by reaching out to me. If you need someone to talk to about your self-harm habits, I’m here…*
(spoiler: one thing we must evaluate before i can give some advice)
One thing that can help you at first is figuring out exactly…
- At what time does SH attract me most ?
- Is it a specific time (EX: 7:00pm) ?
- Is it at a time when no one is around (EX: mom leaves for work) ?
- Is it after something happens (EX: coming back after school) ?
- What do I feel before, during, and after SH ?
- Does a specific emotion pull you into the deed ?
- What are my rituals, routines, and habits that I do before, during, and after SH
- Do these doings pull me more into the deed ?
- Can I avoid them ? (if they bring harm)
- Can I replace them with healthier habits that distract/ pull me away from SH?
I believe that these things are very overlooked. Understanding what surrounds you, whether it would be physically or emotionally, is really important because then you can begin to take action based on the knowledge that you know about what causes you to SH.
]METHODS[
Socializing more; especially during your most vulnerable times where you are most prone to SH. (I suppose talking online could be just as beneficial if not better)
However, many people might struggle with socializing or might not have anyone to talk to…
This is where I would recommend interacting with relatives (parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles, etc)
OR
Going to public places like libraries, grocery stores, parks, and the gym are all places where you can be around people (giving you the choice to socialize or at least have a forced interaction) or just be around people so you wouldn't have the opportunity to hide and SH yourself.
This method is hard at first, but after the first couple of times it starts becoming a piece of cake. (somehow force yourself to do it just once. It will be worth it I promise)
However, many people might struggle with socializing or might not have anyone to talk to…
This is where I would recommend interacting with relatives (parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles, etc)
OR
Going to public places like libraries, grocery stores, parks, and the gym are all places where you can be around people (giving you the choice to socialize or at least have a forced interaction) or just be around people so you wouldn't have the opportunity to hide and SH yourself.
This method is hard at first, but after the first couple of times it starts becoming a piece of cake. (somehow force yourself to do it just once. It will be worth it I promise)
Hobby maxxing, doing something you enjoy.
Honestly the hobby can be anything as long as it starts to take time off of your day. It is ok if you begin to start fitting in both SH and your new hobby in your daily routine, as long as you are putting more effort into developing your hobby so you can spend more time on that rather than SH.
Hobby inspirations…
Honestly the hobby can be anything as long as it starts to take time off of your day. It is ok if you begin to start fitting in both SH and your new hobby in your daily routine, as long as you are putting more effort into developing your hobby so you can spend more time on that rather than SH.
Hobby inspirations…
- Reading
- Romance
- Manga
- Comics
- History books
- Something easy to read but can teach you things
- Sewing
- Drawing
- Journaling
- Video Games
- Going on walks
- Gym
Doing less and less damage each day until you are doing barely any harm to yourself.
Ahhhh this one is tricky to convince yourself to do, but if you can try to do one less scratch/cut/burn, then with each day you would be doing less and less.
Ahhhh this one is tricky to convince yourself to do, but if you can try to do one less scratch/cut/burn, then with each day you would be doing less and less.
Doomscrolling
Nothing much to explain here, doomscrolling is excusable here.
Personally has helped me get rid of some other bad habits.
Nothing much to explain here, doomscrolling is excusable here.
Personally has helped me get rid of some other bad habits.
*I think an important thing to note for all these methods is that getting out of your comfort zone is a must, it is the hardest part, and you should definitely reach out to a person you trust for a good jumpstart out of your comfort zone.*
The best thing to do is to talk…
It’s really important to be able to reach out to therapists when going through self-harm episodes, especially because struggling alone can make difficult emotions feel even more overwhelming. In my opinion the best thing you can do is to talk to someone you trust. A therapist would be ideal but the problem is that they are not accessible to everyone. The next best thing would be to open up to your family or a friend and ask for their assistance. Usually after opening up the desire for SH drops significantly. Struggling in Isolation is way too difficult, step out of your comfort zone this once to help yourself get away from SH.
The best thing to do is to talk…
It’s really important to be able to reach out to therapists when going through self-harm episodes, especially because struggling alone can make difficult emotions feel even more overwhelming. In my opinion the best thing you can do is to talk to someone you trust. A therapist would be ideal but the problem is that they are not accessible to everyone. The next best thing would be to open up to your family or a friend and ask for their assistance. Usually after opening up the desire for SH drops significantly. Struggling in Isolation is way too difficult, step out of your comfort zone this once to help yourself get away from SH.
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Why you should not harm yourself
Reasons to stop / not begin self-harm…
- The feeling that drives the urge is temporary, even when it feels endless.
- You deserve coping mechanisms that don't leave you with more pain afterward.
- Stopping doesn't require having your entire life figured out—just choosing a different response one moment at a time.
- Recovery can give you back energy that the pain took away from you.
- You are allowed to seek relief without hurting yourself.
- A relapse or difficult day doesn't erase progress.
- The version of you who feels better in the future deserves the chance to exist.
- You may eventually discover reasons to live and create that you can't see from your current perspective; that current perspective is being blurred by your current actions.
- Pain can be acknowledged without it ruining your identity.
- You don't have to hate yourself to become someone better.
- There are healthier ways to regain control, express overwhelming emotions, and release tension.
- Express your plans with self-harm to anyone, see how they react…
(I bolded my favorite ones…)
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Self-Harm — The Statistics
Quick Facts to consider
- Approximately 17% of adolescents worldwide report self-harming at least once in their lives.
- Roughly 5.9% of adults in the United States engage in non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI).
- Rates are significantly higher among youth, with about 17% to 35% of college students reporting self-injury.
- Adolescence and young adulthood carry the highest risk, with the average age of onset at 13 years old.
Regional Statistics
- In the U.S. in 2023, there were an estimated 240,778 emergency department visits for self-harm, the ages were from 10-25.
- Rate of 372.02 visits for self-harm per 100,000 people
- Statistics indicate that teenage girls and young women had more emergency-department visits for self-harm at higher rates than boys and men. Studies show teen girls are nearly twice as likely to engage in self-harm compared to teenage boys.
- Female SH rate – 532.07 per 100,000
- Male SH rate – 202.63 per 100,000
- E.U. self-harm rate – 89.1 per 100,000 people
- In the E.U. females are two times as vulnerable to self-harm than males are.
- An analysis of adolescent self-harm behavior estimated a lifetime prevalence of approximately 21% across all European countries.
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Conclusion – How does it end ? Does it even end ?
Self-harm is a response to suffering, but suffering does not have to remain someone's permanent way of living…
At the end of the day, self-harm is so much more complicated than simply wanting to hurt yourself. No matter its origins, self-harm can lead a person to a pathway of endless pain and eventually death. This is not acceptable, we all must prevail and get the most out of our lives, at least we must try…
A person's suffering can become so overwhelming that it begins to define how they see themselves and their future but a person's present state does not have to become their permanent identity. Why must such a low moment in your life decide your whole future ?
The fact that someone has found one way to cope with their pain (self-harm) does not mean it is the only way they can manage it. Self-harm can become a cycle, but cycles can be broken. With proper understanding, support, and healthier coping mechanisms (professional help could help a lot as well) a person can learn to respond to their suffering differently in a more healthier way that helps them bounce back even stronger and relapse with the realization that they must embrace perseverance if they want to continue living life with a healthy and positive mentality.
Recovery is not about pretending the pain never existed; it is about reaching a point where pain no longer controls how a person treats themselves…
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Sources
https://www.mind.org.uk/for-young-people/feelings-and-experiences/tips-for-coping-with-self-harm/
https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/resisting-cutting.html
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/self-injury/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20350956
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3382916/
https://mhanational.org/conditions/self-injury-cutting-self-harm-or-self-mutilation/
https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/self-harm/self-harm-statistics/
https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/public-health/articles/10.3389/fpubh.2025.1571579/full
https://www.tupeloschools.com/mental-health/mental-health/self-harm
Thank you for reading this thread
https://www.mind.org.uk/for-young-people/feelings-and-experiences/tips-for-coping-with-self-harm/
https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/resisting-cutting.html
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/self-injury/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20350956
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3382916/
https://mhanational.org/conditions/self-injury-cutting-self-harm-or-self-mutilation/
https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/mental-health/self-harm/self-harm-statistics/
https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/public-health/articles/10.3389/fpubh.2025.1571579/full
https://www.tupeloschools.com/mental-health/mental-health/self-harm
Thank you for reading this thread
@DrMd
@illusion
@Seth Walsh
@Stardew
@Vrilltrum
@illusion
@Seth Walsh
@Stardew
@Vrilltrum
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