Self hatred.

Ceaser.psl

Ceaser.psl

Phoenix
Joined
Dec 4, 2025
Posts
208
Reputation
211
I hate myself. So much so I hate looking at the mirror. I hate going out in the sun because it makes my acne red scars look worse. I avoid brightly lit rooms too because of this. I hate people getting close to my face even when they want to show affection (mother) because it makes my skin flaws more. I have a 6'5 bestfriend, we both were around the same position at 13. now, at 16 (abt to turn 17) he's mogs me to oblivion. he's way more developed. Why not me? Why not me? Why not me? I don't hate him, he's still my bro. But still, why didn't i develop the same way. i hate myself. I fucking hate myself. I am miserable. I don't want to go out anywhere to show my face. I hate myself. I don't even want to go to birthday parties of my relatives just because of how much I fucking hate myself because of my fucking skin. I fucking ruined everything and It's all my fucking fault. I'm literally fucking tearing up writing this. There is so much self hatred in my heart. So much guilt and regrets that eat me up everyday. They consume me. Everyday. Every living moment. I fucking hate it all. I didn't celebrate new years, halloween, thanksgiving or christmas with anyone. All I did was rot at my room. I fucking hate myself. My parents know Im a fucking loser with no friends because I've never even held a birthday party (im 16) nor do I go anywhere. They even asked me, "Why don't you have friends, you should go out more". They are a lovely pair. I don't blame them. I blame myself. It's all my fucking fault. I fucked everything up. I am literally tearing up man. I can't take it anymore......... I'm sorry for venting so much and being a pain here too.
 
  • +1
  • JFL
  • So Sad
Reactions: EvilSatanArseRapist, Giorgio, turkcelfatcel and 6 others
Take some shrooms
 
  • +1
Reactions: EvilSatanArseRapist, Ceaser.psl, cam1000 and 1 other person
dnr sucks to be u:Blob:
 
  • +1
Reactions: cam1000, Recession., Ceaser.psl and 1 other person
I'm all alone, with noone to talk to, I play games, watch youtube, watch anime and web series all day. I also exercise at my home (I have a treadmill and a weight rack with a bench)
 
  • +1
Reactions: 1SIS
Ceaser.psl said:
I hate myself. So much so I hate looking at the mirror. I hate going out in the sun because it makes my acne red scars look worse. I avoid brightly lit rooms too because of this. I hate people getting close to my face even when they want to show affection (mother) because it makes my skin flaws more. I have a 6'5 bestfriend, we both were around the same position at 13. now, at 16 (abt to turn 17) he's mogs me to oblivion. he's way more developed. Why not me? Why not me? Why not me? I don't hate him, he's still my bro. But still, why didn't i develop the same way. i hate myself. I fucking hate myself. I am miserable. I don't want to go out anywhere to show my face. I hate myself. I don't even want to go to birthday parties of my relatives just because of how much I fucking hate myself because of my fucking skin. I fucking ruined everything and It's all my fucking fault. I'm literally fucking tearing up writing this. There is so much self hatred in my heart. So much guilt and regrets that eat me up everyday. They consume me. Everyday. Every living moment. I fucking hate it all. I didn't celebrate new years, halloween, thanksgiving or christmas with anyone. All I did was rot at my room. I fucking hate myself. My parents know Im a fucking loser with no friends because I've never even held a birthday party (im 16) nor do I go anywhere. They even asked me, "Why don't you have friends, you should go out more". They are a lovely pair. I don't blame them. I blame myself. It's all my fucking fault. I fucked everything up. I am literally tearing up man. I can't take it anymore......... I'm sorry for venting so much and being a pain here too.
Click to expand...
Im 18 same story minus the acne, it doesn't get better. Never had a bday party or a gf, khhv and holed up in my room
5920
 
  • +1
Reactions: Giorgio, Ceaser.psl and estonianslayerr
Sub5kang said:
Im 18 same story minus the acne, it doesn't get better. Never had a bday party or a gf, khhv and holed up in my room
View attachment 4555870
Click to expand...
I'm going to turn 17 on march 7th. I have nobody to celebrate my birthday with. Another reminder for my parents how lonely and miserable I am. They literally fucking feel bad for me. i hate it. I am living life using clonazepam right now. It's the only thing that I know of that helps me take off the edge a bit and i pair it with baclofen
 
  • +1
Reactions: Sub5kang
Ceaser.psl said:
I'm going to turn 17 on march 7th. I have nobody to celebrate my birthday with. Another reminder for my parents how lonely and miserable I am. They literally fucking feel bad for me. i hate it. I am living life using clonazepam right now. It's the only thing that I know of that helps me take off the edge a bit and i pair it with baclofen
Click to expand...
I rawdog life tbh I've never taken stims I just dive into slop and shows
 
  • +1
Reactions: 1SIS and Ceaser.psl
hmmm just finished reading everything. sounds like me with the no friends and parents except im 6'1:ogre:
 
  • +1
Reactions: Ceaser.psl
1SIS said:
and you still complaining:lul: i love my lonely life. its awesome not talking to anyone you can do whatever you want
Click to expand...
So what? My best friend is 6'5. We've always competed over everything. 6'1 isn't even that tall where I live, It's just above average
 
  • JFL
Reactions: 1SIS
1SIS said:
and you still complaining:lul: i love my lonely life. its awesome not talking to anyone you can do whatever you want
Click to expand...
It's my fucking face ridden with fucking pigments and slight scars that wont fucking go away even after laser treatments. I hate my fucking face. I hate my fucking self. Living at home and celebrating festivals with no one while you watch everyone doing it is not fun. I envy you if you're able to have fun in a life like this. I really fucking envy you. I feel like a disgrace.
 
Sub5kang said:
Im 18 same story minus the acne, it doesn't get better. Never had a bday party or a gf, khhv and holed up in my room
View attachment 4555870
Click to expand...
We're similar. I've even ran out of stuff to watch. Have something nice to watch? I mostly just watch yt and anime. I am down to watch moves and shows
 
  • +1
Reactions: Sub5kang
self hatred is the root of succes, be insatiable and you will get where you want to be
 
  • +1
Reactions: Ceaser.psl
Ceaser.psl said:
I hate myself. So much so I hate looking at the mirror. I hate going out in the sun because it makes my acne red scars look worse. I avoid brightly lit rooms too because of this. I hate people getting close to my face even when they want to show affection (mother) because it makes my skin flaws more. I have a 6'5 bestfriend, we both were around the same position at 13. now, at 16 (abt to turn 17) he's mogs me to oblivion. he's way more developed. Why not me? Why not me? Why not me? I don't hate him, he's still my bro. But still, why didn't i develop the same way. i hate myself. I fucking hate myself. I am miserable. I don't want to go out anywhere to show my face. I hate myself. I don't even want to go to birthday parties of my relatives just because of how much I fucking hate myself because of my fucking skin. I fucking ruined everything and It's all my fucking fault. I'm literally fucking tearing up writing this. There is so much self hatred in my heart. So much guilt and regrets that eat me up everyday. They consume me. Everyday. Every living moment. I fucking hate it all. I didn't celebrate new years, halloween, thanksgiving or christmas with anyone. All I did was rot at my room. I fucking hate myself. My parents know Im a fucking loser with no friends because I've never even held a birthday party (im 16) nor do I go anywhere. They even asked me, "Why don't you have friends, you should go out more". They are a lovely pair. I don't blame them. I blame myself. It's all my fucking fault. I fucked everything up. I am literally tearing up man. I can't take it anymore......... I'm sorry for venting so much and being a pain here too.
Click to expand...
how tall are you
 
trueteentriad said:
self hatred is the root of succes, be insatiable and you will get where you want to be
Click to expand...
I've eaten nothing since fucking 86 hours and its the self hatred that drives me. I fucking also walked 40 kms at 15 incline. But its too much, I can't live. It bothers me everyday. I can't stop thinkiing about all this
 
Ceaser.psl said:
We're similar. I've even ran out of stuff to watch. Have something nice to watch? I mostly just watch yt and anime. I am down to watch moves and shows
Click to expand...
I'm rewatching the vampire diaries and smallvill rn, I've watched basically every good anime there is though my top 5 is prolly JoJo's aot code geass fmab and hxh/steinsgate
 
  • +1
Reactions: Ceaser.psl
Sub5kang said:
I'm researching the vampire diaries and smallvill rn, I've watched basically every good anime there is though my top 5 is prolly JoJo's aot code geass fmab and hxh/steinsgate
Click to expand...
yeah I've been hearing about smallvill a lot espec the edits
 
  • +1
Reactions: Sub5kang
@Sub5kang @trueteentriad @BR32 The only friend I had (the 6'5 bsf i talked about in my post) just fought with me (on text) and we might not speak to each other ever again😂. I'm gonna be 17 and have no one no connection in my life😂. It's so sad i'm actually laughing

​

 
  • +1
Reactions: Sub5kang
Ceaser.psl said:
@Sub5kang @trueteentriad @BR32 The only friend I had (the 6'5 bsf i talked about in my post) just fought with me (on text) and we might not speak to each other ever again😂. I'm gonna be 17 and have no one no connection in my life😂. It's so sad i'm actually laughing

​

Click to expand...
ngga if u never talk to each other after one fight (OVER TEXT) he was never your friend to begin with:feelswhy:
 
trueteentriad said:
ngga if u never talk to each other after one fight (OVER TEXT) he was never your friend to begin with:feelswhy:
Click to expand...
we've been best friends since 4 years. A thing happened last year and we didn't talk for 4 months. similar thing but of greater magnitude happened now so I don't know. (he considered me his best friend too btw) but idk. I'm so done with life now. obv Im not gonna kms or Ldar but man i'm just so done
 
  • +1
Reactions: Sub5kang
Ceaser.psl said:
we've been best friends since 4 years. A thing happened last year and we didn't talk for 4 months. similar thing but of greater magnitude happened now so I don't know. (he considered me his best friend too btw) but idk. I'm so done with life now. obv Im not gonna kms or Ldar but man i'm just so done
Click to expand...
What did you fight about
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

I
I'm such a fucking ugly chud
Replies
5
Views
50
ihatechuds
I
psltristan1
Over What the fuck I descended my self so much
Replies
22
Views
130
psltristan1
psltristan1
Joe_Is23
Rage If god is truly all loving why did he make me like this
Replies
19
Views
80
Joe_Is23
Joe_Is23
ForSKJ
Rage my mental health gets worse everytime i lift/go to the gym
Replies
7
Views
57
NoExit
NoExit
aascendism
Venting Why am i like this
Replies
10
Views
81
iana
iana

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 2 (Looksmaxers: 0, Bluepillers: 2)
Back
Top