Enfant terrible
Fire
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- Aug 22, 2020
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My sister was having a phone conversation with my dad upstairs. He was probably bitching about me having stayed home unemployed for nearly 3 1/2 months now (since April 1st). Can't believe it's already been that long. The time flies by like crazy. The days blur into each other. I don't think I've left my house in over a month (June 8th early AM, which was also the last time I got laid). I overheard him say "months" with emphasis. So he was probably talking about my sloth.
Then he informs me that my sister wants to talk to me on the phone. My sister asks me what I'm doing. I say "ehh". (Note: for the newbies who aren't familiar by now, I do not like my sister). Then she's asking me how I'm feeling. "ehh" She asks, "not good?"
And then she's asking me again if I looked into that IT program (it's a specialist in a particular field of IT) she told me about 3 months ago (she wanted me to take summer courses and I didn't enroll). She says that I could get a job that allows me to work from home a couple days out of the week if I worked in a specialist IT role, etc. I wasn't enthusiastic over the phone with her (I don't plan on workcelling ever again. I've come to peace with the possibility that it may be time to visit Gandy 10 years or less from now. When the money runs out) She asked me if I contacted the psychiatrists/psychologists she emailed me. I told her I never got the contact info from her (this is the truth. She did forget to send it to me months ago and I never bothered to follow up). She was surprised that I never got it, so she re-sent it.
There are two psychologists who deal with depression who have a background in autism. But they live in a suburb 25+ miles/40+ km away (30+ min drive). The ones who deal with depression in my suburb don't have an autism background. These days between the NEETdom and depression, I am very lazy. And don't like the idea of wasting an hour+ of my time minimum driving for 50 minutes of therapy. But they have the autism background and if I book an appointment after/before peak traffic periods, it will take just the hour round-trip and not more. During Toronto rush hour traffic, that trip could take an hour each way or more maybe.
And I'm not willing to go through with this unless my dad is willing to pay for my therapy and meds. I'm skeptical and think that this will be a waste of my time. But it'll be even worse if I'm wasting the $458/week I get in welfare on drugs that at best won't work or at worst could give me bad side effects.
My sister sounded condescending on the phone. I don't think she actually gives a fuck about my mental health. It's been nearly 3 1/2 months of NEETdom and 5 1/2 months since we talked about my depression (post-office meltdown). And never once did she bother to ask how I was since then until now. When she does call me, it's when she wants to bitch about what's going on with her at work. Or talking about interior design and furniture. She asked me if I want to talk about and I can talk to her at any time. But I know that if I start talking to her about what's on my mind, she's going to derail the conversation and start talking about herself. Or she's going to change the subject if I go on a rant. Like I have before with her months ago when I was still workcelling. This is why I gave up talking to her.
Then he informs me that my sister wants to talk to me on the phone. My sister asks me what I'm doing. I say "ehh". (Note: for the newbies who aren't familiar by now, I do not like my sister). Then she's asking me how I'm feeling. "ehh" She asks, "not good?"
And then she's asking me again if I looked into that IT program (it's a specialist in a particular field of IT) she told me about 3 months ago (she wanted me to take summer courses and I didn't enroll). She says that I could get a job that allows me to work from home a couple days out of the week if I worked in a specialist IT role, etc. I wasn't enthusiastic over the phone with her (I don't plan on workcelling ever again. I've come to peace with the possibility that it may be time to visit Gandy 10 years or less from now. When the money runs out) She asked me if I contacted the psychiatrists/psychologists she emailed me. I told her I never got the contact info from her (this is the truth. She did forget to send it to me months ago and I never bothered to follow up). She was surprised that I never got it, so she re-sent it.
There are two psychologists who deal with depression who have a background in autism. But they live in a suburb 25+ miles/40+ km away (30+ min drive). The ones who deal with depression in my suburb don't have an autism background. These days between the NEETdom and depression, I am very lazy. And don't like the idea of wasting an hour+ of my time minimum driving for 50 minutes of therapy. But they have the autism background and if I book an appointment after/before peak traffic periods, it will take just the hour round-trip and not more. During Toronto rush hour traffic, that trip could take an hour each way or more maybe.
And I'm not willing to go through with this unless my dad is willing to pay for my therapy and meds. I'm skeptical and think that this will be a waste of my time. But it'll be even worse if I'm wasting the $458/week I get in welfare on drugs that at best won't work or at worst could give me bad side effects.
My sister sounded condescending on the phone. I don't think she actually gives a fuck about my mental health. It's been nearly 3 1/2 months of NEETdom and 5 1/2 months since we talked about my depression (post-office meltdown). And never once did she bother to ask how I was since then until now. When she does call me, it's when she wants to bitch about what's going on with her at work. Or talking about interior design and furniture. She asked me if I want to talk about and I can talk to her at any time. But I know that if I start talking to her about what's on my mind, she's going to derail the conversation and start talking about herself. Or she's going to change the subject if I go on a rant. Like I have before with her months ago when I was still workcelling. This is why I gave up talking to her.
