Something I noticed what most here have in common

[Need2Ascend]

It's kind of self-projection thread tbh but I'm 99% sure that most here can't act differently than what they look like.

I can't fake the way I behave if it's not in congruence with my looks due to high self-awareness, and even if I do(like I did in the past in my bluepilled phase), I somehow knew that it's not myself and wouldn't feel good about it deep down.

I tried acting like one of my chadlite friends back in high school, but I didn't realize back then that it all comes natural to him.
Chad does all this shit what is preached on those bluepilled videos on youtube(charismaoncommand or other shit) naturally, I somehow knew it always but if no one shares this non-conventional opinion in society you start to think you are mentally-ill as a man for improving your looks(while 90% of women obsess over their looks their whole life JFL)
Honestly, if this forum didn't exist I would probably still cope with other shit since I didn't know I'm not the only one with this way of thinking(that Looks=Everything).

The point is I don't look like an alpha, so why trying to act like one. Since I started acting naturally/the way I look like aka "being myself", I'm unironically more content overall even though you would call me a "good guy" (and not the "bad boy" I wanted to be like)
That's why changing your personality is such a meme and looksmaxxing (to look the way you want to be perceived) is the only way to go for me

TL;DR: Looks = Personality, if you act differently than you look like(AND are not bluepilled), I can guarantee you it just makes you feel shit and costs a lot of energy aswell.
Some water tbh but maybe some can relate

Tagging some users with similar past: @KrissKross @Lifewasted @Syobevoli

 

[Deleted member 2634]

Your actions and behavior have to match your looks
Otherwise you will face hostility and derision

Ex.
Dtf tonight babe?

 

[maxmendietta]

water

 

[KrissKross]

Thats why I have to become on the outside who I want to be on the inside

 

[KrissKross]

my chastity belt hurts tbh ded srs
Tyrone says I’m not allowed out till end of the month
Over for me

Brutal

 

[Deleted member 7521]

 

[Deleted member 7866]

Your actions and behavior have to match your looks
Otherwise you will face hostility and derision

Ex.
Dtf tonight babe?
View attachment 740814

Nah. Chad can still act shy, reserved, have no friends, then he's "mysterious" and "cool" "emo"

 

[Deleted member 275]

Thats why I have to become on the outside who I want to be on the inside

This is the best way to change your personality tbh.

It's same with people roiding and they start being seen as the 'big tough guy' because of it. Their personality will adjust.

 

[Deleted member 2634]

Nah. Chad can still act shy, reserved, have no friends, then he's "mysterious" and "cool" "emo"

He can afford it because he already passed the looks treshold
You can always go lower, but not higher

 

[Need2Ascend]

water

Yeah kind of water as I said, idk writing those essays once in a while helps me to cope tbh

He can afford it because he already passed the looks treshold
You can always go lower, but not higher

Exactly, your looks sets the upper limit to what your personality can be like(at least for non-delusional people)

 

[some1h0peless]

i acted like a bad boy/alpha a few years ago thinking it would make me 'cooler'. little did i know back then i was actually bluepilled and after getting countlessly rejected by girls and receiving negative reactions that still didn't stop me from being low inhib. now that i look back at it i was stupid and all the trouble i went through in school was worthless. took me a long time to realise that it was because of my looks that i couldn't pull the alpha type. ironically enough though it kinda came naturally to me and i quite enjoyed it. a little part of me still misses the old me.

 

[TITUS]

You got to get the looks first.

 

[freeone12]

.

 

[randomuser2407]

The reason why personality doesn't matter is because even if you are boring, if a girl is physically attracted to you, she will be so interested in everything that you say. So it doesn't matter what you say or how you say it, it just matters who you say it to, if you talk to the girls who don't like you, you'll get rejected, but if you talk to the girls who like you, you'll seem like the most interesting man in the world, that's the secret that most people don't understand.

After looks, the only thing that matters is confidence. Why? Because the more confident you are, the more self respect you will have and the more you will take action, so when a girl gives you IOIs, instead of finding excuses to not approach, you would approach her because you wouldn't be afraid because you would know that she really likes you.

A lot of guys here fit into this category, they aren't too ugly to get laid, they're just not confident enough to talk to the women who like them, I was like that for a very long time too but I realized that if you're not Chad and you don't approach women, nothing will happen and you'll stay a virgin for your entire life.

You don't have to be NT or interesting, you don't have to carry interesting conversations, you just need to be confident enough to approach and talk to women, even if you're shy she won't care, as long as she is physically attracted to you. That's another secret that most people aren't aware of.

Confidence is also very important for relationships, because if a girl treats you poorly, and you have a low level of self confidence, you'll let her boss you around and treat you poorly and you'll let her cheat on you because in your mind you're thinking that she is the prize, that without her you are nothing and that you wouldn't be happy with any other girl, this is very self destructive behaviour and is what allows women to abuse men, because they are much weaker than us physically, so if they are able to beat us, it's because we let them when we could just walk away.

The key to having more confidence is to have an abundance mentality but you can't fake that, to have an abundance mentality, you need to have lots of options, you need to be able to breakup with a girl and then find new women to date not long after. The trick to achieve that is to become above average enough in looks that you get IOIs very frequently when you're out in public, then you can approach those women and talk to them for a bit and get some dates, then you turn some of those dates into sex and the girl that you like the most into a girlfriend or you hookup for a while before starting a new relationship.

My point is that if you know that you have lots of options, then you won't be afraid to walk away and women will value a lot more for it because women love to compete for the most successful men.

So to do well with women you need 3 things: Looks, self confidence (to take action), and an abundance of mentality (by having lots of options).

 

[RAITEIII]

It's kind of self-projection thread tbh but I'm 99% sure that most here can't act differently than what they look like.

I can't fake the way I behave if it's not in congruence with my looks due to high self-awareness, and even if I do(like I did in the past in my bluepilled phase), I somehow knew that it's not myself and wouldn't feel good about it deep down.

I tried acting like one of my chadlite friends back in high school, but I didn't realize back then that it all comes natural to him.
Chad does all this shit what is preached on those bluepilled videos on youtube(charismaoncommand or other shit) naturally, I somehow knew it always but if no one shares this non-conventional opinion in society you start to think you are mentally-ill as a man for improving your looks(while 90% of women obsess over their looks their whole life JFL)
Honestly, if this forum didn't exist I would probably still cope with other shit since I didn't know I'm not the only one with this way of thinking(that Looks=Everything).

The point is I don't look like an alpha, so why trying to act like one. Since I started acting naturally/the way I look like aka "being myself", I'm unironically more content overall even though you would call me a "good guy" (and not the "bad boy" I wanted to be like)
That's why changing your personality is such a meme and looksmaxxing (to look the way you want to be perceived) is the only way to go for me

TL;DR: Looks = Personality, if you act differently than you look like(AND are not bluepilled), I can guarantee you it just makes you feel shit and costs a lot of energy aswell.
Some water tbh but maybe some can relate

Tagging some users with similar past: @KrissKross @Lifewasted @Syobevoli

There's some truth in this ngl

 

[Mongrelcel]

The reason why personality doesn't matter is because even if you are boring, if a girl is physically attracted to you, she will be so interested in everything that you say. So it doesn't matter what you say or how you say it, it just matters who you say it to, if you talk to the girls who don't like you, you'll get rejected, but if you talk to the girls who like you, you'll seem like the most interesting man in the world, that's the secret that most people don't understand.

After looks, the only thing that matters is confidence. Why? Because the more confident you are, the more self respect you will have and the more you will take action, so when a girl gives you IOIs, instead of finding excuses to not approach, you would approach her because you wouldn't be afraid because you would know that she really likes you.

A lot of guys here fit into this category, they aren't too ugly to get laid, they're just not confident enough to talk to the women who like them, I was like that for a very long time too but I realized that if you're not Chad and you don't approach women, nothing will happen and you'll stay a virgin for your entire life.

You don't have to be NT or interesting, you don't have to carry interesting conversations, you just need to be confident enough to approach and talk to women, even if you're shy she won't care, as long as she is physically attracted to you. That's another secret that most people aren't aware of.

Confidence is also very important for relationships, because if a girl treats you poorly, and you have a low level of self confidence, you'll let her boss you around and treat you poorly and you'll let her cheat on you because in your mind you're thinking that she is the prize, that without her you are nothing and that you wouldn't be happy with any other girl, this is very self destructive behaviour and is what allows women to abuse men, because they are much weaker than us physically, so if they are able to beat us, it's because we let them when we could just walk away.

The key to having more confidence is to have an abundance mentality but you can't fake that, to have an abundance mentality, you need to have lots of options, you need to be able to breakup with a girl and then find new women to date not long after. The trick to achieve that is to become above average enough in looks that you get IOIs very frequently when you're out in public, then you can approach those women and talk to them for a bit and get some dates, then you turn some of those dates into sex and the girl that you like the most into a girlfriend or you hookup for a while before starting a new relationship.

My point is that if you know that you have lots of options, then you won't be afraid to walk away and women will value a lot more for it because women love to compete for the most successful men.

So to do well with women you need 3 things: Looks, self confidence (to take action), and an abundance of mentality (by having lots of options).

So you're saying that once I looksmaxx and (let's say) become good looking, me being autistic with stunted personality due to social isolation in teenage (until now) years won't matter?
Or the fact I don't have any social life, 0 friends won't matter either?

 

[EckhartTollemaxx]

I agree but it's not that black and white.
Some things can be changed for the better without looking fake such as confidence and general conversational ability and ability to choose topics or relate to another person.

Acting alpha when you clearly shouldn't definitely looks fake.

But if you're given the official role of being the leader then you should act like one but within your own parameters.

Then again doing some pua social stunts in front of women looks fake af.

 

[Need2Ascend]

Some things can be changed for the better without looking fake such as confidence and general conversational ability and ability to choose topics or relate to another person.

Definitely true for many here. It's always good to improve in every possible way, however I was a boneless 170cm weak looking small guy back in highschool, try being confident with that.
I mean I'm more of an outlier and most here got better cards dealt for sure(like you being 190cm), so most can't relate in that way. But I guess many can relate that they want to be someone they are not, due to their looks

 

[6’1cel]

Your actions and behavior have to match your looks
Otherwise you will face hostility and derision

Ex.
Dtf tonight babe?
View attachment 740814

what if you behave under your looks?

 

[Deleted member 2634]

what if you behave under your looks?

If you are a gl then you are humble
If you are ugly you are an introverted doormat

 

[wtf]

I sort of agree. Your personality/behavior is ultimately a byproduct of how you feel versus everyone in the room.

Even a chess nerd can AMOG by being a prodigy. I'm sure a cocky attitude would follow his superiority.

Though once he leaves the room and is amongst regular adult men, it goes right back to the competition of: who is the most muscular, who is the tallest, who is the most handsome, who's rich, who's tan, etc.

 

[Bewusst]

Fake personality is always cringe, especially if you’re ugly. Your looks can shape your personality (e.g. insecurity, shyness) tho, especially if you’re aware of them. Even if you’re not, the feedback you get due to your looks will have a subconscious effect on it

 

[randomuser2407]

So you're saying that once I looksmaxx and (let's say) become good looking, me being autistic with stunted personality due to social isolation in teenage (until now) years won't matter?
Or the fact I don't have any social life, 0 friends won't matter either?

Yes it won't matter but it won't be easy to become who you want to be, you'll have to force yourself to spend less time on this site and online and more time out in the real world talking to real people, only then will you finally be able to socialize, make friends, and get laid and find a girlfriend if that's what you want.

But there is no secret answer, searching this stuff on google will make you lose a lot of precious time and dating apps like Tinder are just the worst even if you're good looking depending on where you live. I did a Tinder catfish experiment near Montreal where I live, and I used Chico's pics and got only 25 likes in 3 days, now I understand why my real profile wasn't getting more than 2 likes.

The biggest mistake that I made in the past 5 years was that I thought that I had to find a secret answer, that I had to find a way to meet people and get what I want faster, but the truth is that back in 2015, if I had just went outside more, if I had gone to social events and groups where I could meet people, then I would have gotten some friends and I would have met women and gotten laid.

Also, although looks do matter, they aren't as absolute as incels believe, you don't have to be a supermodel to get laid unless you are only using Tinder. Incels think that unless you're "Chad", you're doomed to suffer a lonely existence until you die but that is not the case. Men who go out have no trouble meeting women, the difference between them and incels is just that incels never go out or if they do go out, they do things alone.

Elliot Rodger is a good example of this, he went out but never to bars, clubs, concerts or festivals, he spent most of his time either in his room on his computer or he drove alone in his car to watch sunsets alone, and then he wondered why he wasn't meeting anyone, why he was alone.

People are never going to go up to you to talk unless you are in the right place for that opportunity, if you isolate yourself on purpose by only going to the places where you are alone, then of course you'll never meet anyone. Some people would say that they go to the gym but that is a bad example because the gym is not a true social setting since people go there to lift, not to talk for the most part. But it's impossible to go to many social events every year and never meet anyone unless you're doing it on purpose. I wish I had realized this back in 2015 instead of wasting years of my time online completely isolated in my room.

Also, don't wait to improve your looks to do this, improve your looks at the same time as you do it. Even if you're fat, socializing will help you, it's better than spending time on this forum. In my case, I wish I could go out and talk to people but I can't because I live in a COVID19 red zone and everything is closed but some people here have the luxury of being able to go to social events, if you are one of those people then do it now, if your situation is the same as mine, then you can wait until social events start to happen again in your idea to start socializing. When I talk about social events I mean events where there are lots of people or a bunch of people that you can talk to. Even though at a concert, you won't have a normal conversation, it's still an event with lots of people where they all enjoy the same stuff as you.

 

[Vaptor]

I have had this discussion for very long in my head. Your absolutely right that true alpha persona comes by Feeling and knowing SUBCONSCIOUSLY that you are better than others. And the biggest way to achieve that is by having an alpha/good look. But OP you can not restrict yourself by your looks. Its a double edge sword. If you act like how you look (assuming you are incel/normie tier) guess what will happen? You will behave and be treated like a loser. You will stop talking too much and too loud (because you are not suppose the be alpha op, remember?) You will stop trying to be nt and low inhib. Then after you will start dressing like a incel/normie. And guess what will happen you will be treated even worse.

Now on the other hand if you are trying to act alpha what will happen is that many people will still treat you like loser and even worse a try hard loser. But the big advantage you have is that not all people will see you as a loser some people genuine will believe that you are alpha. And some women will find you even attractive.

Why do you think you see ugly men with good looking women? Because those ugly men did not restrict themselves by their looks. They still acted alpha no matter how normietier or non alpha they looked like. Sure they may seem for a lot of people try hard but not everyone will see trough you. Especially shy girls will start believing you.

You see op for years i behaved how i look like and guess what? I did not recieve mercy nor did i get treated in a easy manner because i acted in non dominant/alpha manner. In fact i got treated even worse the more i behaved how i look like. This is why i have come to the conclussion that its better to be a tryhard then to act how you look like.

 

[Vaptor]

i acted like a bad boy/alpha a few years ago thinking it would make me 'cooler'. little did i know back then i was actually bluepilled and after getting countlessly rejected by girls and receiving negative reactions that still didn't stop me from being low inhib. now that i look back at it i was stupid and all the trouble i went through in school was worthless. took me a long time to realise that it was because of my looks that i couldn't pull the alpha type. ironically enough though it kinda came naturally to me and i quite enjoyed it. a little part of me still misses the old me.

Did you get more slays when you acted alpha or non alpha?

 

[johncruz12345]

Tbh. This is a cope thread.

 

[johncruz12345]

I have had this discussion for very long in my head. Your absolutely right that true alpha persona comes by Feeling and knowing SUBCONSCIOUSLY that you are better than others. And the biggest way to achieve that is by having an alpha/good look. But OP you can not restrict yourself by your looks. Its a double edge sword. If you act like how you look (assuming you are incel/normie tier) guess what will happen? You will behave and be treated like a loser. You will stop talking too much and too loud (because you are not suppose the be alpha op, remember?) You will stop trying to be nt and low inhib. Then after you will start dressing like a incel/normie. And guess what will happen you will be treated even worse.

Now on the other hand if you are trying to act alpha what will happen is that many people will still treat you like loser and even worse a try hard loser. But the big advantage you have is that not all people will see you as a loser some people genuine will believe that you are alpha. And some women will find you even attractive.

Why do you think you see ugly men with good looking women? Because those ugly men did not restrict themselves by their looks. They still acted alpha no matter how normietier or non alpha they looked like. Sure they may seem for a lot of people try hard but not everyone will see trough you. Especially shy girls will start believing you.

You see op for years i behaved how i look like and guess what? I did not recieve mercy nor did i get treated in a easy manner because i acted in non dominant/alpha manner. In fact i got treated even worse the more i behaved how i look like. This is why i have come to the conclussion that its better to be a tryhard then to act how you look like.

Honestly I tried this alpha shit and it worked for me.

 

[some1h0peless]

Did you get more slays when you acted alpha or non alpha?

no slays at all tbh. at least i got some more recognition and popularity. this helped me gain respect from the boys. the only thing i got from girls were hugs, that's it

 

[Deleted member 10185]

The reason why personality doesn't matter is because even if you are boring, if a girl is physically attracted to you, she will be so interested in everything that you say. So it doesn't matter what you say or how you say it, it just matters who you say it to, if you talk to the girls who don't like you, you'll get rejected, but if you talk to the girls who like you, you'll seem like the most interesting man in the world, that's the secret that most people don't understand.

After looks, the only thing that matters is confidence. Why? Because the more confident you are, the more self respect you will have and the more you will take action, so when a girl gives you IOIs, instead of finding excuses to not approach, you would approach her because you wouldn't be afraid because you would know that she really likes you.

A lot of guys here fit into this category, they aren't too ugly to get laid, they're just not confident enough to talk to the women who like them, I was like that for a very long time too but I realized that if you're not Chad and you don't approach women, nothing will happen and you'll stay a virgin for your entire life.

You don't have to be NT or interesting, you don't have to carry interesting conversations, you just need to be confident enough to approach and talk to women, even if you're shy she won't care, as long as she is physically attracted to you. That's another secret that most people aren't aware of.

Confidence is also very important for relationships, because if a girl treats you poorly, and you have a low level of self confidence, you'll let her boss you around and treat you poorly and you'll let her cheat on you because in your mind you're thinking that she is the prize, that without her you are nothing and that you wouldn't be happy with any other girl, this is very self destructive behaviour and is what allows women to abuse men, because they are much weaker than us physically, so if they are able to beat us, it's because we let them when we could just walk away.

The key to having more confidence is to have an abundance mentality but you can't fake that, to have an abundance mentality, you need to have lots of options, you need to be able to breakup with a girl and then find new women to date not long after. The trick to achieve that is to become above average enough in looks that you get IOIs very frequently when you're out in public, then you can approach those women and talk to them for a bit and get some dates, then you turn some of those dates into sex and the girl that you like the most into a girlfriend or you hookup for a while before starting a new relationship.

My point is that if you know that you have lots of options, then you won't be afraid to walk away and women will value a lot more for it because women love to compete for the most successful men.

So to do well with women you need 3 things: Looks, self confidence (to take action), and an abundance of mentality (by having lots of options).

If you dont have appealing personality. I dont think the dating will last long.

 

[Deleted member 10185]

no slays at all tbh. at least i got some more recognition and popularity. this helped me gain respect from the boys. the only thing i got from girls were hugs, that's it

Yeah but those are different times. People arent fully developed at that age.. When you became more mature. Bad boy shit will not work anymore.

 

[Need2Ascend]

@Vaptor
I understand your point, the good thing is that I improved my looks quite decently in the last year and therefore my personality/confidence improved aswell. The problem is that I'm basically a prettyboy similar to bieber with zero sexual appeal to "mature" women(I attract JBs mostly which is fine by me tbh) and then trying to act like a DOM guy is just not possible and even if, it would just make me look like a weirdo, extremely inauthentic
I wouldn't say that your personality is logically restricted by your looks but you must be a psycho or have the self-awareness of a stone to act in a completely different way than what your looks has to offer