stupid society

[sub5mumbaifinalboss]

Its so over I'm 5.7 and my dad is 6.0 I don't even think I'll reach 6.0 I'm 16 years old and I'm in the growth stage but my sleep is really bad apart from my bad habits like smoking marijuana, nic and drinking alcohol but this world is shit and super boring and monotonous that I can't imagine living without altering my consciousness, only when I'm high or drunk I forget about life and my insecurities at least for a few hours. Besides, this world is completely meaningless unless you give it meaning, but the more sense I look for in my life, it only gets worse because I come to the conclusion that nothing matters in the end, but that affects me more because in the end I neglect my habits even more and then I'm sure I'll regret it. It's like a loop, apart from the fact that I've tried everything, like playing a lot of sports, going to the gym, I have a social life, but I always have that emptiness in my chest that reminds me that human life has no meaning whatsoever and we are just ants. We don't even know what happens after death or even where we come from because of our limited intellectual capacity that only seeks instant dopamine or only seeks to distract ourselves from this reality. I was also thinking that love never existed and that it is only an illusion of our brain as an instinct for survival (which is kind of obvious), but if you delve into the subject you come to a rather nihilistic conclusion since social relationships are just an illusion and do not really exist.