spanishmog
Silver
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2024
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I am on the verge of tears as I am writing this. No matter what I do, she will always choose her second ex. I am thinking of just ending my life since there's no point in living if I can't have her.
let's rewind on how I got to this miserable pathetic state
so, I met this girl on "duet"(my tiktokcels will know what this is
) since I have a frauded Chad tier profile, I have like over 200+ matches and messages on the app and maybe like 1-2 slays from it. For the sake of the story let's call this girl "Mary". So, me and Mary match two weeks ago on a Thursday and obviously she messages me first since I have a chad tier profile and the convo was pretty short and simple, we go over to Instagram to finalize a day to hangout. At first, I didn't really think nothing special of her, I just thought she was cute, and this could be a nice slay since she's my dream type of white girl. We go from IG and at first shes hesitant to actually hangout saying "ohhh we should wait like weeks till we hangout" but I wasn't feeling that so I pushed for Tuesday to hangout, and she agreed. We move the conversation to snapchat and here comes the first two red flags I should've noticed
1. her snap score was 300k+
2. we started sexting and sending nudes back and forth to each other
I didnt see these as red flags at the time since I only seen her as a potential slay, nothing more but as the we keep up talking and shes opening up about herself, I realize that we're both abused dogs with trauma and I guess this is when I start developing strong feelings for her since I can actually relate to her and such. As the day of hangout approaches, she starts talking about how her fuel pump is not working properly and how she will need to postpone the actual day of the hangout to a friday. This is when the third and fourth red flag appears
3. when Tuesday finally comes and we're supposed to hang out at the beach, she tells me we have to postpone, and I said fine let's postpone it to Friday and she agreed. later that day she fucking snaps me a pic of herself at the beach with her two female's friends and this obviously pissed me off and I confronted her about it. I told her "Wtf why are u at the beach" and she starts to apologize and said, "I guess the fuel pump wasn't the issue idk" and this even set me off so more, but I moved past this and forgave her because my feelings were strong for her
4. One time we were on the topic of relationships and she was telling me how she got out of a 1 yr long relationship 4 weeks ago and for whatever reason I asked her "so if ur ex came back, would u accept him" and she kept beating around the bush saying shit like "I don't feel comfortable answering that and I dont want to answer" so thats when I knew she would accept him and when I told her again she finally said "yea" "I'm sorry" Once again I forgave her and moved past this since of my immense love for her
So finally friday comes around and I try to look as good as possible for her. I debloat, bonesmash, makeup fraud, heightfraud, I do everything to try to look good on this day. I travel 2 hrs to see her and she was telling me how shes excited and nervous at the same time which is understandable. I was too. I arrive to the place of were we're supposed to meetup and she gives me a big ass, long, tight hug so that was a good start to the date. We're driving to the beach and the whole entire time we're holding hands and it was so cute. We arrive to the beach and we're walking while still holding hands. We go on the sand but she realizes she forgot the towel we need to lay on the sand but its fine. We find a log by the waves that we sit on and she starts to lay her head on my shoulder so I naturally start rubbing my fingers on her head and start kissing her forehead/nose. she giggles. In my mind everything is going good and the moment is perfect for a kiss, so I turn her head towards me then go in for a kiss. We start kissing for 4 secs then backups and gives me a smooch and says "no making out". She goes back to having her head on my shoulder and we do this for like 10 minutes until we go back to her car and get the towel so we could lay on the sand. She places the towel down, we lay down, we start cuddling, everything is going good. For the first time since my first ex I have experienced pure feelings of joy and happiness. I stupidly keep trying to force a make out but she keeps only kissing me for 4 secs then back up
this was the first mistake I made
we're cuddling for 25 minutes, Im staring at her ocean blue eyes, shes staring at my eyes and calling me cute/handsome, everything was just so perfect. we eventually go back to her car since it was getting cold and we're in her car for 5 minutes then she asks me "do u wanna do something or hangout?" I didnt know what she ment so I picked the 2nd option like a retard she says "alr" and we start cruising. She saidshe didnt know where she was going but like 8 minutes later, I see that we're back at the train station Anyways that didn't matter so we're chilling in her car and I lay my head on her lap. She was smiling, playing with my hair, complimenting me, I had my hand on her boobs, everything was going good in my eyes. I asked her "whens the next time we're going to hangout" and she said "ehhhh Im not sure if we should hangout again." "we could still be good friends" this honestly broke me and I was trying so hard not to break into tears. I ask her "why if we're both having a good time" she said "our personalities don't match"
J TO THE F TO THE L
we kissed, she laughed at all my jokes, she complimented me, we held hands, I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT WYM OUR PERSONALITIES DONT MATCH, WE"RE BOTH ABUSED DOGS so this confused me and I kept asking her questions while trying not to cry and she basically saids I need help/therapy since im not right mentally. So at this point I just gave up and just started crying and she kept saying "im sorry" "Im sorry for leading u on" I kept on crying and went on a ND Autist suicidal rant and she was rlly comforting me during all of this. I knew the reason that she gave me was bullshit so I kept interogatting her and she kept beating around the bush until I finally got the brutal truth. She was still not over her ex and she thought that if she ment someone new, she could replace him but she was wrong. She kept saying sorry and I kept crying like a bitch while she was holding my hand the entire time. I knew it was over. How could I ever compete with this guy since he was there first. Fast foward 45 minutes later and we're at the train station, inside of her car, waiting for my train back home. She kept smiling towards me and calling me cute and holding my hand. Idk if this was her manipulation tactics or her actually caring about me.
This is where the life fuel comes
1. at first she said "ehhhh im not sure if we should hangout again" to "maybe we would, I'll reconsider it" to a "probably" all the way to a "u will see me again in September soon"
2. before I left her car for the train, she gave me a long hug tight hug and we made out for 10 seconds. She saids she wants to still talk to me and want to be apart of my progression journey.
here are some of the life fuel texts that she sent to me after Friday
"hey I've been thinking about u" "did u get home safe"
“i’m sure i’ll still like you (my name), you’re an amazing person and i see true potential in you. I really hope that rubber band helps you and i know it’s not the same thing but it does help. I’m glad you’re gonna get better you’ll feel better too, about yourself and everything. I’m very proud of you (my name) and i’ll be here every step of the way <3”
“yes hun that sounds like a plan” This was too cuddling again in September
“i enjoyed staring at your handsome face even with the wind blowing your hair around it was cute”
i’m here (my name)"
"i don’t plan on disappearing from you"
"i like the second one but you look handsome in both hun"
"i do enjoy your presence yes (my name)"
theres more but I dont feel like adding any more but u guys get the point. Everything is going good except for the fact that before we hung out she used to snap me her face almost every day but I still haven't received a snap of her face since Friday. I don't know what to think of that tbh but it can't be that bad
now that u know the story, I need to ascend by September. please mentor me @Orc I will do anything to ascend and be better physically and mentally.
I'm 17, mid-high MTN irl and 19 inch bidelt at 5'8 so I have a long way to go till September but I'm willing to do whatever to ascend.
let's rewind on how I got to this miserable pathetic state
so, I met this girl on "duet"(my tiktokcels will know what this is
) since I have a frauded Chad tier profile, I have like over 200+ matches and messages on the app and maybe like 1-2 slays from it. For the sake of the story let's call this girl "Mary". So, me and Mary match two weeks ago on a Thursday and obviously she messages me first since I have a chad tier profile and the convo was pretty short and simple, we go over to Instagram to finalize a day to hangout. At first, I didn't really think nothing special of her, I just thought she was cute, and this could be a nice slay since she's my dream type of white girl. We go from IG and at first shes hesitant to actually hangout saying "ohhh we should wait like weeks till we hangout" but I wasn't feeling that so I pushed for Tuesday to hangout, and she agreed. We move the conversation to snapchat and here comes the first two red flags I should've noticed 1. her snap score was 300k+
2. we started sexting and sending nudes back and forth to each other
I didnt see these as red flags at the time since I only seen her as a potential slay, nothing more but as the we keep up talking and shes opening up about herself, I realize that we're both abused dogs with trauma and I guess this is when I start developing strong feelings for her since I can actually relate to her and such. As the day of hangout approaches, she starts talking about how her fuel pump is not working properly and how she will need to postpone the actual day of the hangout to a friday. This is when the third and fourth red flag appears
3. when Tuesday finally comes and we're supposed to hang out at the beach, she tells me we have to postpone, and I said fine let's postpone it to Friday and she agreed. later that day she fucking snaps me a pic of herself at the beach with her two female's friends and this obviously pissed me off and I confronted her about it. I told her "Wtf why are u at the beach" and she starts to apologize and said, "I guess the fuel pump wasn't the issue idk" and this even set me off so more, but I moved past this and forgave her because my feelings were strong for her
4. One time we were on the topic of relationships and she was telling me how she got out of a 1 yr long relationship 4 weeks ago and for whatever reason I asked her "so if ur ex came back, would u accept him" and she kept beating around the bush saying shit like "I don't feel comfortable answering that and I dont want to answer" so thats when I knew she would accept him and when I told her again she finally said "yea" "I'm sorry" Once again I forgave her and moved past this since of my immense love for her
So finally friday comes around and I try to look as good as possible for her. I debloat, bonesmash, makeup fraud, heightfraud, I do everything to try to look good on this day. I travel 2 hrs to see her and she was telling me how shes excited and nervous at the same time which is understandable. I was too. I arrive to the place of were we're supposed to meetup and she gives me a big ass, long, tight hug so that was a good start to the date. We're driving to the beach and the whole entire time we're holding hands and it was so cute. We arrive to the beach and we're walking while still holding hands. We go on the sand but she realizes she forgot the towel we need to lay on the sand but its fine. We find a log by the waves that we sit on and she starts to lay her head on my shoulder so I naturally start rubbing my fingers on her head and start kissing her forehead/nose. she giggles. In my mind everything is going good and the moment is perfect for a kiss, so I turn her head towards me then go in for a kiss. We start kissing for 4 secs then backups and gives me a smooch and says "no making out". She goes back to having her head on my shoulder and we do this for like 10 minutes until we go back to her car and get the towel so we could lay on the sand. She places the towel down, we lay down, we start cuddling, everything is going good. For the first time since my first ex I have experienced pure feelings of joy and happiness. I stupidly keep trying to force a make out but she keeps only kissing me for 4 secs then back up
this was the first mistake I made
we're cuddling for 25 minutes, Im staring at her ocean blue eyes, shes staring at my eyes and calling me cute/handsome, everything was just so perfect. we eventually go back to her car since it was getting cold and we're in her car for 5 minutes then she asks me "do u wanna do something or hangout?" I didnt know what she ment so I picked the 2nd option like a retard
she says "alr" and we start cruising. She saidshe didnt know where she was going but like 8 minutes later, I see that we're back at the train station Anyways that didn't matter so we're chilling in her car and I lay my head on her lap. She was smiling, playing with my hair, complimenting me, I had my hand on her boobs, everything was going good in my eyes. I asked her "whens the next time we're going to hangout" and she said "ehhhh Im not sure if we should hangout again." "we could still be good friends" this honestly broke me and I was trying so hard not to break into tears. I ask her "why if we're both having a good time" she said "our personalities don't match"J TO THE F TO THE L
we kissed, she laughed at all my jokes, she complimented me, we held hands, I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT WYM OUR PERSONALITIES DONT MATCH, WE"RE BOTH ABUSED DOGS
so this confused me and I kept asking her questions while trying not to cry and she basically saids I need help/therapy since im not right mentally. So at this point I just gave up and just started crying and she kept saying "im sorry" "Im sorry for leading u on" I kept on crying and went on a ND Autist suicidal rant and she was rlly comforting me during all of this. I knew the reason that she gave me was bullshit so I kept interogatting her and she kept beating around the bush until I finally got the brutal truth. She was still not over her ex and she thought that if she ment someone new, she could replace him but she was wrong. She kept saying sorry and I kept crying like a bitch while she was holding my hand the entire time. I knew it was over. How could I ever compete with this guy since he was there first. Fast foward 45 minutes later and we're at the train station, inside of her car, waiting for my train back home. She kept smiling towards me and calling me cute and holding my hand. Idk if this was her manipulation tactics or her actually caring about me.This is where the life fuel comes
1. at first she said "ehhhh im not sure if we should hangout again" to "maybe we would, I'll reconsider it" to a "probably" all the way to a "u will see me again in September soon"
2. before I left her car for the train, she gave me a long hug tight hug and we made out for 10 seconds. She saids she wants to still talk to me and want to be apart of my progression journey.
here are some of the life fuel texts that she sent to me after Friday
"hey I've been thinking about u" "did u get home safe"
“i’m sure i’ll still like you (my name), you’re an amazing person and i see true potential in you. I really hope that rubber band helps you and i know it’s not the same thing but it does help. I’m glad you’re gonna get better you’ll feel better too, about yourself and everything. I’m very proud of you (my name) and i’ll be here every step of the way <3”
“yes hun that sounds like a plan” This was too cuddling again in September
“i enjoyed staring at your handsome face even with the wind blowing your hair around it was cute”
i’m here (my name)"
"i don’t plan on disappearing from you"
"i like the second one but you look handsome in both hun"
"i do enjoy your presence yes (my name)"
theres more but I dont feel like adding any more but u guys get the point. Everything is going good except for the fact that before we hung out she used to snap me her face almost every day but I still haven't received a snap of her face since Friday. I don't know what to think of that tbh but it can't be that bad
now that u know the story, I need to ascend by September. please mentor me @Orc I will do anything to ascend and be better physically and mentally.
I'm 17, mid-high MTN irl and 19 inch bidelt at 5'8 so I have a long way to go till September but I'm willing to do whatever to ascend.
