LebenistneHure
Silver
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2019
- Posts
- 697
- Reputation
- 812
Im a mentally fucked individual that has been abused as a kid. Not sure why im even opening up on this but I just woke up from a dream and I cant sleep.
In waking life Im an ugly individual (no jaw, long midface, bulbous nose, no cheekbones, close set eyes) who was abused as a kid, and now (26) aside from being ugly, Im also unable to form meaningful bonds with others. Im very anxious around new people and have been on various ADs and similar anxiety meds to help me out.
I feel pathetic, everyone I know has someone, and I think the only time I have actually felt what I can describe as love was in a dream, like tonight. This has happened a few times before, I think my psyche craves that feeling but I cant reach it in real life, so this is the only way. I had a girlfriend once, but she was an alcohol addict who cheated on me, and I even had these weird love dreams while I was dating her because I couldnt feel that feeling towards her.
Im closer to 30 than I am to 20 anymore, got mental problems, and im very self conscious. I just want to live my life, but I just dont have the means to do so. How can someone whos genuinely ugly, and at the same time so mentally fucked they cant make a move on a girl to save their life find a partner? They cant. This is why I cope with surgery. Then again, its just that, cope. Because my eyes are close set, and my nose and midface long, so actual harmony is unachievable. Ive also started thinning like mad lol. Shit just keeps getting better
In waking life Im an ugly individual (no jaw, long midface, bulbous nose, no cheekbones, close set eyes) who was abused as a kid, and now (26) aside from being ugly, Im also unable to form meaningful bonds with others. Im very anxious around new people and have been on various ADs and similar anxiety meds to help me out.
I feel pathetic, everyone I know has someone, and I think the only time I have actually felt what I can describe as love was in a dream, like tonight. This has happened a few times before, I think my psyche craves that feeling but I cant reach it in real life, so this is the only way. I had a girlfriend once, but she was an alcohol addict who cheated on me, and I even had these weird love dreams while I was dating her because I couldnt feel that feeling towards her.
Im closer to 30 than I am to 20 anymore, got mental problems, and im very self conscious. I just want to live my life, but I just dont have the means to do so. How can someone whos genuinely ugly, and at the same time so mentally fucked they cant make a move on a girl to save their life find a partner? They cant. This is why I cope with surgery. Then again, its just that, cope. Because my eyes are close set, and my nose and midface long, so actual harmony is unachievable. Ive also started thinning like mad lol. Shit just keeps getting better
