The truth about therapy.

[fukmylyf]

Previous self -> always try to read other people, how they are perceiving you, adjust the way you speak/act to gain their respect/love/affection/admiration/etc, try to be the best at everything / try to act cool, this is how I maximize my interactions with others and through the process my representation of self, so I can come to accept and love myself fully. Avoid being vulnerable it might show flaws of your imperfect self to others.

New self -> you are just fine/good enough the way you are (went through my traumas, saw how my parents were pathological, were projecting their own imperfection onto me, heal my attachment wounds), you have nothing to hide, you have come to accept yourself, seek to be as authentic as you can be, this is how you form nourishing relationships with others, truly connect with them, lower your anxiety, easier way of being, being authentic always pays of in the long run, I wouldn't want people to like me for someone I am not anyway, I am more likable by letting my self express itself fully.

I don't know how cheesy that sound, but that is pretty much the leap I made. I believe it is quite exceptional how much of a big leap I made, but obviously, I am still aiming to continue moving toward the second way of being, I am not perfect by any means, I am still catching myself being into the previous self construct in certain contexts.

ded srs?

It never ends well when I'm vulnerable IRL. One thing I've learned is that it's better to just keep it all inside. Especially in therapy.

 

[Dude420]

ded srs?

It never ends well when I'm vulnerable IRL. One thing I've learned is that it's better to just keep it all inside. Especially in therapy.

Yeah dead serious.
Well that is very typical of people having insecure-avoidant attachment; it helps you protect yourself when you were younger, maybe lying was more rewarding to you, maybe your parents weren't particularly attuned with you to be able to pick up on that, maybe they made you be ashamed for feeling certain ways and figured it was better to hide those parts of yourself and not show vulnerability anymore, probably a mix of stuff, but I can tell you that when you are out in the world, forming new relationships, that way of functioning isn't paying off for you anymore (think about like the Youtubers you like or whatever, are they authentic, they do some congruent, free-flowing energy, or inhibited strategic being that don't show much. People with secure attachment are more likable and form healthier relationships). Unfortunately, our way of being gets stuck in that deficient mold if we don't do the therapeutic inner work.

 

[BrettyBoy]

Your avatar: Frogs me. XD

 

[fukmylyf]

Yeah dead serious.
Well that is very typical of people having insecure-avoidant attachment; it helps you protect yourself when you were younger, maybe lying was more rewarding to you, maybe your parents weren't particularly attuned with you to be able to pick up on that, maybe they made you be ashamed for feeling certain ways and figured it was better to hide those parts of yourself and not show vulnerability anymore, probably a mix of stuff, but I can tell you that when you are out in the world, forming new relationships, that way of functioning isn't paying off for you anymore (think about like the Youtubers you like or whatever, are they authentic, they do some congruent, free-flowing energy, or inhibited strategic being that don't show much. People with secure attachment are more likable and form healthier relationships). Unfortunately, our way of being gets stuck in that deficient mold if we don't do the therapeutic inner work.

not a single word

 

[Dude420]

not a single word

Mentalcel

 

[Ritalincel]

Yeah dead serious.
Well that is very typical of people having insecure-avoidant attachment; it helps you protect yourself when you were younger, maybe lying was more rewarding to you, maybe your parents weren't particularly attuned with you to be able to pick up on that, maybe they made you be ashamed for feeling certain ways and figured it was better to hide those parts of yourself and not show vulnerability anymore, probably a mix of stuff, but I can tell you that when you are out in the world, forming new relationships, that way of functioning isn't paying off for you anymore (think about like the Youtubers you like or whatever, are they authentic, they do some congruent, free-flowing energy, or inhibited strategic being that don't show much. People with secure attachment are more likable and form healthier relationships). Unfortunately, our way of being gets stuck in that deficient mold if we don't do the therapeutic inner work.

psychoanalyses me

 

[quinn24]

therapy and SSRIs sound useless or worse, neither of them sound like they would directly tackle my psychological problems. im not going to wait 4 weeks for a drug to kick in that will either do nothing or make shit worse, also side effects etc.

a foid therapist could get more done by having sex with me than hours upon hours of talking about nothing, and i would rather use better drugs to drug cope