D
Deleted member 11126
Fuchsia
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2020
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I had anxiety most of my life but as of late my social anxiety was so bad I could not function in society. I had a therapist and would address feeling ugly worthless and looked down on. At the time I had the worst cystic acne of my life literal infections and wounds covered my face I was bloated 20 pounds fatter I had sleep deprived eyes.
My therapist kept trying to make me think this perceived hatred by other people was in my head. Maybe he wasn't completely off my brain made things worse but I think most people unless they are totally autistic know when people are looking down on them. Even if they try to fool themselves the brain is very good at figuring out peoples perception. This lead me to viewing every social interaction as an inherent negative thing. Since my looks have improved I have felt more social and less on guard. Even my own sister or my parents treat me nicer. I wish this was all in my heads I just wish they wouldn't gaslight ugly people into thinking its all their fault.
In my case it was semi my fault because my looks were poor due to horrible health mainly lack of sleep and bad diet from depression. But there are plenty of people who can do all the basic softmaxxes and still be subhuman in this society. Looks are not some monocausal thing they cascade into many areas of your life. Redditors are semi right when they go after incels personalities but what they don't understand is how you were treated has a huge impact on personality.
My therapist kept trying to make me think this perceived hatred by other people was in my head. Maybe he wasn't completely off my brain made things worse but I think most people unless they are totally autistic know when people are looking down on them. Even if they try to fool themselves the brain is very good at figuring out peoples perception. This lead me to viewing every social interaction as an inherent negative thing. Since my looks have improved I have felt more social and less on guard. Even my own sister or my parents treat me nicer. I wish this was all in my heads I just wish they wouldn't gaslight ugly people into thinking its all their fault.
In my case it was semi my fault because my looks were poor due to horrible health mainly lack of sleep and bad diet from depression. But there are plenty of people who can do all the basic softmaxxes and still be subhuman in this society. Looks are not some monocausal thing they cascade into many areas of your life. Redditors are semi right when they go after incels personalities but what they don't understand is how you were treated has a huge impact on personality.