This world isn't made for me

[Whiteboard7]

No matter how hard I try to make things go my way something always comes back and screws me over and turns everything to shit. Genetics are everything. If I looked better and didn't have a horse philtrum, if I had less UEE, If I was lovable and not just a backup friend my life would have meaning. My family life is shit, my school life is shit, my mental health is shit, everything that possibly could go wrong has gone wrong. I just can't take this retarded shit anymore. Been thinking about roping in a few weeks and I know nothing ever happens and it all won't matter in the end but I'm just going crazy. This world isn't made for someone as ND as me. Being ND allows me to see the world differently which is good but it has opened my eyes and shown me how cruel and unforgivable my life truly is. No matter how hard I try to look better, fit in, mask my autism. It all doesn't matter just as nothing matters and the end of the day I'll be dead before 25. I just want to take a break a from all of this and be loveable. I am just a orbiter deep down floating around trying to fit in, ending up knowing everyone but not having a true friend to my name. I try to cope with the gym and pretending like I'm "him" but deep down I know I'll never be shit. I know thats a negative feedback loop but why does it matter even. I will never be valued or truly loved because of how disgusting I am. I am considered somewhat good looking but every time I look into that mirror and see that reflection I just want to rope. If there are any fuckin glowies or feds from my school reading this please fuck off JFL. Anyways I hope life can get better for me but I know I try to convince myself I'm waiting for the ""one" my true soulmate but I'll probably die a virgin at 25 or younger if things keep going down this path. I've tried turning around my life but I can't take this shit anymore..........

 

[SanTheTrucel]

Relatable on a heavy note

My exact thoughts everyday

Pls don’t rope

 

[Incelforeever]

feel u

 

[Whiteboard7]

Relatable on a heavy note

My exact thoughts everyday

Pls don’t rope

I don't think I'll make it. I have two more weeks

 

[Whiteboard7]

feel u

Thanks boss

 

[MouthBreathingElite]

You cant mask your autism, accept it and fit in with other groups of people

 

[MouthBreathingElite]

I don't think I'll make it. I have two more weeks

Two weeks till what

 

[Uuatapoiemm]

Relatable

 

[Whiteboard7]

You cant mask your autism, accept it and fit in with other groups of people

I've tried MBE never seems to work. I have friends I guess but I'm not happy I feel so alone

Two weeks till what

Till I possibly rope

 

[MouthBreathingElite]

Till I possibly rope

Roping over nothing get your degree,looksmax and get a nd mtb to keep you company

 

[Whiteboard7]

Roping over nothing get your degree,looksmax and get a nd mtb to keep you company

It won't matter @MouthBreathingElite . I'm trying bhai but I can't take this life anymore and the stress of it all

 

[Whiteboard7]

bump

 

[Fillowskyy]

I feel the same. Can't give any advice or anything.

 

[Whiteboard7]

I feel the same. Can't give any advice or anything.

Thanks for thinking about it though bhai

 

[Deleted member 349481]

Can you think of a better world?

 

[Whiteboard7]

Can you think of a better world?

I hope so but I don't see a point to this world anymore

 

[Deleted member 349481]

I hope so but I don't see a point to this world anymore

Made me think of the dialogue in Blood Meridian between the Hermit and the Kid.

inb4 dnr



Lost ye way in the dark, said the old man. He stirred the fire, standing slender tusks of bone up out of the ashes.

The kid didnt answer.

The old man swung his head back and forth. The way of the transgressor is hard. God made this world, but he didnt make it to suit everbody, did he?

I dont believe he much had me in mind.

Aye, said the old man. But where does a man come by his notions. What world's he seen that he liked better?

I can think of better places and better ways.

Can ye make it be?

No.

No. It's a mystery. A man's at odds to know his mind cause his mind is aught he has to know it with. He can know his heart, but he dont want to. Rightly so. Best not to look in there. It aint the heart of a creature that is bound in the way that God has set for it. You can find meanness in the least of creatures, but when God made man the devil was at his elbow. A creature that can do anything. Make a machine. And a machine to make the machine. And evil that can run itself a thousand years, no need to tend it. You believe that?

I dont know.

Believe that.

 

[_Zygomatic_]

One thing about roping is that it’s genuinely very hard, i tried once with a bunch of painkillers and it didn’t work but i was in agony and rly thought i was gonna die and in those moments i kinda had a moment of clarity where it was like no matter how bad life gets it can’t be as bad as ive made it right now. I still think about roping but when i do i remember that life only gets as bad as u make it, sure genetics are good pretty big but if ur mental is fucked no amount of genetic blessing will save you. Plus actually trying to rope is very scary and i doubt you’ll actually be able to go through with it, idek how i did but i got lucky to survive lol

TLDR: dont rope its bad

 

[chinletlet]

Same but I have ambition so great

 

[dışlanmış sub3]

No matter how hard I try to make things go my way something always comes back and screws me over and turns everything to shit. Genetics are everything. If I looked better and didn't have a horse philtrum, if I had less UEE, If I was lovable and not just a backup friend my life would have meaning. My family life is shit, my school life is shit, my mental health is shit, everything that possibly could go wrong has gone wrong. I just can't take this retarded shit anymore. Been thinking about roping in a few weeks and I know nothing ever happens and it all won't matter in the end but I'm just going crazy. This world isn't made for someone as ND as me. Being ND allows me to see the world differently which is good but it has opened my eyes and shown me how cruel and unforgivable my life truly is. No matter how hard I try to look better, fit in, mask my autism. It all doesn't matter just as nothing matters and the end of the day I'll be dead before 25. I just want to take a break a from all of this and be loveable. I am just a orbiter deep down floating around trying to fit in, ending up knowing everyone but not having a true friend to my name. I try to cope with the gym and pretending like I'm "him" but deep down I know I'll never be shit. I know thats a negative feedback loop but why does it matter even. I will never be valued or truly loved because of how disgusting I am. I am considered somewhat good looking but every time I look into that mirror and see that reflection I just want to rope. If there are any fuckin glowies or feds from my school reading this please fuck off JFL. Anyways I hope life can get better for me but I know I try to convince myself I'm waiting for the ""one" my true soulmate but I'll probably die a virgin at 25 or younger if things keep going down this path. I've tried turning around my life but I can't take this shit anymore..........

js be grateful that ur not a sub3 brochacho

 

[Whiteboard7]

js be grateful that ur not a sub3 brochacho

I will be bhai. Thank you

 

[Whiteboard7]

Same but I have ambition so great

Okay

 

[Whiteboard7]

Made me think of the dialogue in Blood Meridian between the Hermit and the Kid.

inb4 dnr



Lost ye way in the dark, said the old man. He stirred the fire, standing slender tusks of bone up out of the ashes.

The kid didnt answer.

The old man swung his head back and forth. The way of the transgressor is hard. God made this world, but he didnt make it to suit everbody, did he?

I dont believe he much had me in mind.

Aye, said the old man. But where does a man come by his notions. What world's he seen that he liked better?

I can think of better places and better ways.

Can ye make it be?

No.

No. It's a mystery. A man's at odds to know his mind cause his mind is aught he has to know it with. He can know his heart, but he dont want to. Rightly so. Best not to look in there. It aint the heart of a creature that is bound in the way that God has set for it. You can find meanness in the least of creatures, but when God made man the devil was at his elbow. A creature that can do anything. Make a machine. And a machine to make the machine. And evil that can run itself a thousand years, no need to tend it. You believe that?

I dont know.

Believe that.

Thanks bhai for this

One thing about roping is that it’s genuinely very hard, i tried once with a bunch of painkillers and it didn’t work but i was in agony and rly thought i was gonna die and in those moments i kinda had a moment of clarity where it was like no matter how bad life gets it can’t be as bad as ive made it right now. I still think about roping but when i do i remember that life only gets as bad as u make it, sure genetics are good pretty big but if ur mental is fucked no amount of genetic blessing will save you. Plus actually trying to rope is very scary and i doubt you’ll actually be able to go through with it, idek how i did but i got lucky to survive lol

TLDR: dont rope its bad

Thanks bhai for this also

 

[ronluk]

Id just roid if I was u

 

[Whiteboard7]

Id just roid if I was u

Hop on what?

 

[ronluk]

Hop on what?

Everything. If u gonna kill urself u might as well do some roids before. Test and gear will increase your chances of getting pussy unironically, ideally you start with test enthate. Anavar and if u want too you can try other harder roids like deca primo or tren

 

[Whiteboard7]

Everything. If u gonna kill urself u might as well do some roids before. Test and gear will increase your chances of getting pussy unironically, ideally you start with test enthate. Anavar and if u want too you can try other harder roids like deca primo or tren

Not gonna kill myself. Just always having shit thoughts for no reason.

 

[ronluk]

Not gonna kill myself. Just always having shit thoughts for no reason.

Yeah I feel you bro, you said you are ND. Are you actually diagnosed autistic aka you have sensory issues and can’t read facial expressions have special interest etc. or are you just a weird as nigga. Because there are overlaps. And personally as someone who has adhd and a weird personality I can come off as autistic because a weird guy with adhd is kinda autistic by itself

 

[Deleted member 351683]

No matter how hard I try to make things go my way something always comes back and screws me over and turns everything to shit. Genetics are everything. If I looked better and didn't have a horse philtrum, if I had less UEE, If I was lovable and not just a backup friend my life would have meaning. My family life is shit, my school life is shit, my mental health is shit, everything that possibly could go wrong has gone wrong. I just can't take this retarded shit anymore. Been thinking about roping in a few weeks and I know nothing ever happens and it all won't matter in the end but I'm just going crazy. This world isn't made for someone as ND as me. Being ND allows me to see the world differently which is good but it has opened my eyes and shown me how cruel and unforgivable my life truly is. No matter how hard I try to look better, fit in, mask my autism. It all doesn't matter just as nothing matters and the end of the day I'll be dead before 25. I just want to take a break a from all of this and be loveable. I am just a orbiter deep down floating around trying to fit in, ending up knowing everyone but not having a true friend to my name. I try to cope with the gym and pretending like I'm "him" but deep down I know I'll never be shit. I know thats a negative feedback loop but why does it matter even. I will never be valued or truly loved because of how disgusting I am. I am considered somewhat good looking but every time I look into that mirror and see that reflection I just want to rope. If there are any fuckin glowies or feds from my school reading this please fuck off JFL. Anyways I hope life can get better for me but I know I try to convince myself I'm waiting for the ""one" my true soulmate but I'll probably die a virgin at 25 or younger if things keep going down this path. I've tried turning around my life but I can't take this shit anymore..........

you will find someone bhai

 

[Whiteboard7]

Yeah I feel you bro, you said you are ND. Are you actually diagnosed autistic aka you have sensory issues and can’t read facial expressions have special interest etc. or are you just a weird as nigga. Because there are overlaps. And personally as someone who has adhd and a weird personality I can come off as autistic because a weird guy with adhd is kinda autistic by itself

Not diagnosed and I know thats some shit larping bullshit but idk. its pretty obvious I'm autistic. I know its retarded to say I am/

 

[Whiteboard7]

you will find someone bhai

Thanks bhai. I need to ascend some more hopefully

 

[brotato78]

Same relateable

 

[Whiteboard7]

Same relateable

Yeah lol what are you gonna do though

 

[ronluk]

Not diagnosed and I know thats some shit larping bullshit but idk. its pretty obvious I'm autistic. I know its retarded to say I am/

Are you though? Autism doesn’t mean weird unsocial and lonely. It literally means your brain is chemically hardwired differently. Think about it for a sec here. If you say something that comes offf as slightly offensive and someone were to give you a look of disgust or caution would you not be able to tell? At the end of the day autism doesn’t matter in a certain looks and status threshold but its important to realize that you most likely don’t have it

 

[Whiteboard7]

Are you though? Autism doesn’t mean weird unsocial and lonely. It literally means your brain is chemically hardwired differently. Think about it for a sec here. If you say something that comes offf as slightly offensive and someone were to give you a look of disgust or caution would you not be able to tell? At the end of the day autism doesn’t matter in a certain looks and status threshold but its important to realize that you most likely don’t have it

Its a spectrum. Yes I do believe I have it. I see the world differently and although I believe I don't fit in I think there are a multitude of factors aiding my argument for having autism.

 

[le_paria_social]

I hate to give empty words just because someone is suicidal, but you sound like a simple, pure of heart person.
All I can wish for is that things get better for you man

 

[Whiteboard7]

I hate to give empty words just because someone is suicidal, but you sound like a simple, pure of heart person.
All I can wish for is that things get better for you man

Thanks I hope so boss. It got better before but right now its kind of shit if I'm gonna be honest. Thanks bhai, I hope it does get better

 

[united17]

Its a spectrum. Yes I do believe I have it. I see the world differently and although I believe I don't fit in I think there are a multitude of factors aiding my argument for having autism.

wdym by you see the world differently? Im also ND maybe i can relate or offer some advice

 

[Whiteboard7]

wdym by you see the world differently? Im also ND maybe i can relate or offer some advice

Idk pick up on trends that stuff doesn't matter truly. Life's a game and its over before you realize it. I pick up on stuff and over analyze it. Idk this sounds like I'm larping as HIGH IQ. Idk

 

[united17]

Idk pick up on trends that stuff doesn't matter truly. Life's a game and its over before you realize it. I pick up on stuff and over analyze it. Idk this sounds like I'm larping as HIGH IQ. Idk

Yeah I see what ur saying, like stuff is p shallow and isnt really significant. I feel the same way. I would say tho, that if life is a game, wouldnt you want to complete it? Whenever someone plays a videogame, they rarely quit halfway, in fact many try and 100% it -- collecting everything. Thats kinda the mentality i had which helped me out a bit. The reality is that love and relationship take time to manifest so i wouldnt dwell on it too much, especially since you are young. Since you already think of life as a game, maybe try reframing tasks or hobbies as quests, just like a real game. It might sound a little corny but it genuniely helps. Because right now ur probably sitting in the menu screen and wondering why u arent making any in game progress. Plus, given that u are probably pretty depressed now, if you survive this period it will result in a tremendous learning experience while building mental fortitude.

 

[Whiteboard7]

Yeah I see what ur saying, like stuff is p shallow and isnt really significant. I feel the same way. I would say tho, that if life is a game, wouldnt you want to complete it? Whenever someone plays a videogame, they rarely quit halfway, in fact many try and 100% it -- collecting everything. Thats kinda the mentality i had which helped me out a bit. The reality is that love and relationship take time to manifest so i wouldnt dwell on it too much, especially since you are young. Since you already think of life as a game, maybe try reframing tasks or hobbies as quests, just like a real game. It might sound a little corny but it genuniely helps. Because right now ur probably sitting in the menu screen and wondering why u arent making any in game progress. Plus, given that u are probably pretty depressed now, if you survive this period it will result in a tremendous learning experience while building mental fortitude.

Love it brah. Yeah pressure makes diamonds. Just alot of shitty stuff going on in my life but I have to realize I'm just him and I can do anything I can put my mind too. I know I'm smart enough and that my mentality is good enough. I'm 18M in uni right now too. Thanks for the tips boss, I will def use this stuff. Much love, thank you

 

[Whiteboard7]

Yeah I see what ur saying, like stuff is p shallow and isnt really significant. I feel the same way. I would say tho, that if life is a game, wouldnt you want to complete it? Whenever someone plays a videogame, they rarely quit halfway, in fact many try and 100% it -- collecting everything. Thats kinda the mentality i had which helped me out a bit. The reality is that love and relationship take time to manifest so i wouldnt dwell on it too much, especially since you are young. Since you already think of life as a game, maybe try reframing tasks or hobbies as quests, just like a real game. It might sound a little corny but it genuniely helps. Because right now ur probably sitting in the menu screen and wondering why u arent making any in game progress. Plus, given that u are probably pretty depressed now, if you survive this period it will result in a tremendous learning experience while building mental fortitude.

Are you a United fan too lol. 3rd in the league

 

[united17]

Are you a United fan too lol. 3rd in the league

Yes lol finally thank god for carrick

 

[Whiteboard7]

Yes lol finally thank god for carrick

Yes sir. Hope we can get champions league ngl

 

[GoodLittleFoidBoy]

No matter how hard I try to make things go my way something always comes back and screws me over and turns everything to shit. Genetics are everything. If I looked better and didn't have a horse philtrum, if I had less UEE, If I was lovable and not just a backup friend my life would have meaning. My family life is shit, my school life is shit, my mental health is shit, everything that possibly could go wrong has gone wrong. I just can't take this retarded shit anymore. Been thinking about roping in a few weeks and I know nothing ever happens and it all won't matter in the end but I'm just going crazy. This world isn't made for someone as ND as me. Being ND allows me to see the world differently which is good but it has opened my eyes and shown me how cruel and unforgivable my life truly is. No matter how hard I try to look better, fit in, mask my autism. It all doesn't matter just as nothing matters and the end of the day I'll be dead before 25. I just want to take a break a from all of this and be loveable. I am just a orbiter deep down floating around trying to fit in, ending up knowing everyone but not having a true friend to my name. I try to cope with the gym and pretending like I'm "him" but deep down I know I'll never be shit. I know thats a negative feedback loop but why does it matter even. I will never be valued or truly loved because of how disgusting I am. I am considered somewhat good looking but every time I look into that mirror and see that reflection I just want to rope. If there are any fuckin glowies or feds from my school reading this please fuck off JFL. Anyways I hope life can get better for me but I know I try to convince myself I'm waiting for the ""one" my true soulmate but I'll probably die a virgin at 25 or younger if things keep going down this path. I've tried turning around my life but I can't take this shit anymore..........

dnr, don’t rope life will get better

 

[Whiteboard7]

dnr, don’t rope life will get better

Sad you dnred me but valid lol. Yeah hoping it does lol

 

[GoodLittleFoidBoy]

Sad you dnred me but valid lol. Yeah hoping it does lol

i just work my ass off or get a new productive positive hobby

 

[Whiteboard7]

i just work my ass off or get a new productive positive hobby

I already do that heavy

 

[kisslessvirgin]

i was going to make a joke but you seem sad so i wont

maybe things get better for you

 

[Whiteboard7]

i was going to make a joke but you seem sad so i wont

maybe things get better for you

Thanks bhai. Love U bhai