Bewusst
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2019
- Posts
- 17,382
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I went to the area I lived in 2019, which is also when I joined this forum. Back then I was 100% fit and healthy physically but felt miserable mentally due to my looks and the insecurities and shame caused by it. Hence I used to cope with alcohol and drank daily to numb myself. At the time, I thought I was at my lowest and that it certainly couldn't get any worse but boy, was I wrong! Here I am today with neurotoxin poisoning, massive health problems while having to deal with the worst kind of people you could possibly imagine and living in a shared hostel dorm with psychos. Looking back, my "only" problems were living in non-ideal accommodations - compared to now however, it was nowhere near as bad since I "only" had to deal with immense daily/nightly noise disturbances by careless neighbors (at least nobody was trying to harm me or my belongings physically) - and my looks, which I could have fixed to a large extent by now if only I would've pushed through the temporary discomfort and worked to save for surgeries instead of procrastinating, hiding from people and getting drunk every day.
Anyway, I went to my beloved park across my old accommodation today I used to go to and sunbathe at almost daily in summer of 2019 and ngl, considering my current circumstances, I miss those times. Everything is so obvious now. All I should have been doing back then is pull myself together, have a sip of 'I don't care' while working a ton to save for surgeries and then move away once looksmaxed to the point I'm comfortable enough with my looks to no longer be ashamed of my face. I had far more freedom and a much better time than I have now. At least I forced myself outside a lot, despite being very uncomfortable whenever people looked at my face. It's easier to '"just" have to deal with worries revolving around your looks than terrible health problems and actual dangers as well. I'd sure as hell do things differently if I could go back in time with my current knowledge and self-reflection.
For the sake of nostalgia, tagging the looksmax veterans @Titbot @toolateforme @Butthurt Dweller @Dope @Goblin @Phillybeard1996 @AbandonShip @BlackBoyo @oldcell @turkproducer @SHARK @Joyride
Anyway, I went to my beloved park across my old accommodation today I used to go to and sunbathe at almost daily in summer of 2019 and ngl, considering my current circumstances, I miss those times. Everything is so obvious now. All I should have been doing back then is pull myself together, have a sip of 'I don't care' while working a ton to save for surgeries and then move away once looksmaxed to the point I'm comfortable enough with my looks to no longer be ashamed of my face. I had far more freedom and a much better time than I have now. At least I forced myself outside a lot, despite being very uncomfortable whenever people looked at my face. It's easier to '"just" have to deal with worries revolving around your looks than terrible health problems and actual dangers as well. I'd sure as hell do things differently if I could go back in time with my current knowledge and self-reflection.
For the sake of nostalgia, tagging the looksmax veterans @Titbot @toolateforme @Butthurt Dweller @Dope @Goblin @Phillybeard1996 @AbandonShip @BlackBoyo @oldcell @turkproducer @SHARK @Joyride
