VIOME REVIEW: carnivore merchants malding

karmacitathugmaxx

karmacitathugmaxx

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requested by @enchanted_elixir cause everyone else was too BROKE to actually buy one of these ๐Ÿ˜ญ

well, after you're done collecting one of the world's most inefficient blood samples and shitting in a paper towel, you will send off your shit samples in the mail and wait 35 days for them to publish your results ๐Ÿ—“๏ธ

Unc status


Right off the bat its not lookin good gng ๐Ÿ˜ซ Despite most people saying i look between 23-26 and eating clean for the most part, my ass is gettin reamed from the inside (probably because i was 20% bodyfat when this was taken ๐Ÿ™ˆ)

Clicking the learn more takes you to the health zone menu:

Zones


you can click on any of these for a more in-depth description


Metabolic


Each of these scores is an aggregation of 8-12 specific parameters, of which there are 60 in total. Here you can really see what almost a decade of no mtb pussy does to a nga ๐Ÿ’”

No bitches


You can click on any of these as well to see what they actually mean

Brutal lipids


and then i made it even worse by taking sarms :lul:

As viome's business model is centered on microbiome management, they will recommend food choices ostensibly tailored to guide your microbiome towards supporting healthier biological processes, which you can find at the bottom of each score page:

No butter


There's an entirely different section on the homepage you can go to to view all the food recommendations at once (I had 350 in total). Of course, to piss off the carnivore merchants, they've recommended I cease intake of red meat, eggs and whole milk & bump up my seed oils (I did do the first, but definitely not the second ๐Ÿ™Š)

Red meat pill

Seed oil lmao


Since my diet was already relatively clean, I didn't make any major changes. Overall I just swapped whole milk for almond milk, stopped eating fast food entirely and started eating shitty oatmeal, drinking white tea, and prepping more fruit smoothies.

While I can't say the recommendations did nothing, as my mood did improve and susceptibility to acne has significantly decreased, its hard to tell how much of this effect was from the food and how much was due to the huge stress relief of being unemployed ๐Ÿ˜Œ

I know my metabolism is still thoroughly cooked since I fought all the way down to 12.5 percent bodyfat and still have no visible abs ๐Ÿคฌ
I will be starting keto in 2 days to hopefully reset my insulin processing and improve my borderline subhuman fat distribution.

Because this company gotta have a profit margin, they will try to sell you some custom supplements at the bargain rate of $115 a month :forcedsmile:. At least they're nice enough to tell you what the fuck is in them


Shillmo

(ngas think im boutta take berberine ๐Ÿ’€)

The custom probiotics are a lil more interesting and affordable, I might actually run a cycle of these after keto is done and see if they affect anything :think3D:

Bacteria maxx


All in all, I give this company a solid 7/10, with my main criticisms being difficulty of sample collection and lack of a 'current diet analysis'.

I can tell that these tests are meant to be taken on a recurring basis to see how your scores change over time, I will buy another before going on my next cycle. Just like VIP, these shits go on sale all the time so if you pay full price for one of these you are lowk retarded.

Would I recommend you buy one of these? Not unless you have a good reason to believe your body is not operating efficiently (such as a bad cortisol response or high difficulty gaining weight)

Thanks elixir for the recommendation. Sorry there's no referral link ๐Ÿ˜ถโ€๐ŸŒซ๏ธ
 
  • +1
Reactions: kisslessvirgin, enchanted_elixir, P.Siddy and 1 other person
requested by @enchanted_elixir cause everyone else was too BROKE to actually buy one of these ๐Ÿ˜ญ

well, after you're done collecting one of the world's most inefficient blood samples and shitting in a paper towel, you will send off your shit samples in the mail and wait 35 days for them to publish your results ๐Ÿ—“๏ธ

View attachment 5390877

Right off the bat its not lookin good gng ๐Ÿ˜ซ Despite most people saying i look between 23-26 and eating clean for the most part, my ass is gettin reamed from the inside (probably because i was 20% bodyfat when this was taken ๐Ÿ™ˆ)

Clicking the learn more takes you to the health zone menu:

View attachment 5390897

you can click on any of these for a more in-depth description


View attachment 5390925

Each of these scores is an aggregation of 8-12 specific parameters, of which there are 60 in total. Here you can really see what almost a decade of no mtb pussy does to a nga ๐Ÿ’”

View attachment 5390938

You can click on any of these as well to see what they actually mean

View attachment 5390954

and then i made it even worse by taking sarms :lul:

As viome's business model is centered on microbiome management, they will recommend food choices ostensibly tailored to guide your microbiome towards supporting healthier biological processes, which you can find at the bottom of each score page:

View attachment 5391011

There's an entirely different section on the homepage you can go to to view all the food recommendations at once (I had 350 in total). Of course, to piss off the carnivore merchants, they've recommended I cease intake of red meat, eggs and whole milk & bump up my seed oils (I did do the first, but definitely not the second ๐Ÿ™Š)

View attachment 5391036
View attachment 5391031

Since my diet was already relatively clean, I didn't make any major changes. Overall I just swapped whole milk for almond milk, stopped eating fast food entirely and started eating shitty oatmeal, drinking white tea, and prepping more fruit smoothies.

While I can't say the recommendations did nothing, as my mood did improve and susceptibility to acne has significantly decreased, its hard to tell how much of this effect was from the food and how much was due to the huge stress relief of being unemployed ๐Ÿ˜Œ

I know my metabolism is still thoroughly cooked since I fought all the way down to 12.5 percent bodyfat and still have no visible abs ๐Ÿคฌ
I will be starting keto in 2 days to hopefully reset my insulin processing and improve my borderline subhuman fat distribution.

Because this company gotta have a profit margin, they will try to sell you some custom supplements at the bargain rate of $115 a month :forcedsmile:. At least they're nice enough to tell you what the fuck is in them


View attachment 5391127
(ngas think im boutta take berberine ๐Ÿ’€)

The custom probiotics are a lil more interesting and affordable, I might actually run a cycle of these after keto is done and see if they affect anything :think3D:

View attachment 5391140

All in all, I give this company a solid 7/10, with my main criticisms being difficulty of sample collection and lack of a 'current diet analysis'.

I can tell that these tests are meant to be taken on a recurring basis to see how your scores change over time, I will buy another before going on my next cycle. Just like VIP, these shits go on sale all the time so if you pay full price for one of these you are lowk retarded.

Would I recommend you buy one of these? Not unless you have a good reason to believe your body is not operating efficiently (such as a bad cortisol response or high difficulty gaining weight)

Thanks elixir for the recommendation. Sorry there's no referral link ๐Ÿ˜ถโ€๐ŸŒซ๏ธ
Good stuff. I want to get mine done too but I am waiting from results for my DNA (the company dnacomplete takes forever to complete, longer than they promise do not get your stuff from them.)
 
  • +1
Reactions: karmacitathugmaxx

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