What are the psychological consequences of reaching adulthood without getting any validation or attraction from girls?

[SurgerySoon]

Is anyone familiar with any research studies that have been conducted to assess the psychological effects of becoming an adult male without ever having gotten validation, experienced attraction, etc. from girls during the male's teens and twenties? I'm pretty sure it stunts your psychological growth in some way since I'm in that boat myself, but I was just curious to read up more on the specifics of what the specific psychological consequences are.

 

[CarlSagan96]

Who the fuck would publish a study just for this

 

[Deleted member 2846]

It manifests itself in later life. You’re your own case study boyo @SurgerySoon

 

[SurgerySoon]

It manifests itself in later life. You’re your own case study boyo @SurgerySoon

Do you think most male facial plastic surgery patients are in my situation? Is it possible to receive validation/attraction from girls as a young adult but still want to improve your physical detractors through surgery?

 

[Deleted member 2846]

Do you think most male facial plastic surgery patients are in my situation? Is it possible to receive validation/attraction from girls as a young adult but still want to improve your physical detractors through surgery?

Probably most like you (bc you are doing a lot surgery). I mean I have insecurities that stem from other people telling me about them (my undereyes) so I would want to fix that because it looks bad.

I think if you’re trying to create halos with surgery, you are trying to get that validation you missed out on. Just fixing your genuine flaws isn’t bad IMO. Like if I wanted to get cheekbone implants and wrap around jaw implants (two things that are already good on me), that would be me trying to create halos and compensate for the validation I missed out on.

 

[Butthurt Dweller]

The consequence is ER

 

[SurgerySoon]

Probably most like you (bc you are doing a lot surgery). I mean I have insecurities that stem from other people telling me about them (my undereyes) so I would want to fix that because it looks bad.

I think if you’re trying to create halos with surgery, you are trying to get that validation you missed out on. Just fixing your genuine flaws isn’t bad IMO. Like if I wanted to get cheekbone implants and wrap around jaw implants (two things that are already good on me), that would be me trying to create halos and compensate for the validation I missed out on.

Not sure if you've seen my pre-surgery photos, but I had very flat zygos and midface in general. In certain types of lighting I was able to fraud the appearance of forward growth since I have hollow cheeks after exercising (especially after cardio), but overall my face was very flat. My chin was also short, and even now my jaw angles are somewhat high (planning on going back to Dr. Y to get the rest of the wraparound implant placed that he designed for me). However, my eye area is probably my biggest failo.

TBH, the only reason I haven't undergone more procedures than @facemaxxed is because I don't have as much money as him. If I was wealthier, I would've already undergone the procedures I've had done so far (custom midface + chin implants), PLUS paranasal and premaxillary implants, eye area overhaul surgery (canthoplasty + orbital decompression + lower lid retraction correction), the rest of the jaw implant that I mentioned, and possibly a revision of my midface implants. On the fence as to whether or not I should get buccal/perioral fat removal since literally everyone guesses my age at 27-28 IRL, and considering my age (almost 32), I don't need to do anything to make myself look any older.

I guess I just don't understand why the majority of guys who missed out on validation and affection from females during their developmental years aren't pursuing PS procedures like me, even though I'm sure there are more guys whose history (during their teens/twenties) mirrors mine than there are chads and chadlites. In other words, why am I going crazy with pursuing PS while the other guys aren't? Are they just LDARing?

 

[Deleted member 2745]

I remember reading.
Issues with stability and sexual function if I remember correctly.
Also lack of sex drive, fun during sex etc

 

[SurgerySoon]

I remember reading.
Issues with stability and sexual function if I remember correctly.
Also lack of sex drive, fun during sex etc

Lack of sex drive? That definitely doesn't apply to me. By stability, did they mean in terms of career and overall direction in life?

 

[Deleted member 2745]

Lack of sex drive? That definitely doesn't apply to me. By stability, did they mean in terms of career and overall direction in life?

No in relationship

 

[Deleted member 3043]

just live in a old way of living with arrangedmarriagemaxxing tbh if anything Works past surgerymaxxing

 

[SurgerySoon]

No in relationship

That makes sense. I've never had a GF and at my age (almost 32), I don't even know how I'd begin to have one. I mean I seriously don't even know what being in a relationship would entail. It seems like it would feel the same as if someone forced you to take a job as a nuclear physicist in spite of the fact you have absolutely NO academic/work background whatsoever in physics.

just live in a old way of living with arrangedmarriagemaxxing tbh if anything Works past surgerymaxxing

I'm a white American, so arranged marriages aren't a thing for me.

 

[Deleted member 2745]

That makes sense. I've never had a GF and at my age (almost 32), I don't even know how I'd begin to have one. I mean I seriously don't even know what being in a relationship would entail. It seems like it would feel the same as if someone forced you to take a job as a nuclear physicist in spite of the fact you have absolutely NO academic/work background whatsoever in physics.


I'm a white American, so arranged marriages aren't a thing for me.

You seriously are 32 and no gf?
Pm pics.

 

[SurgerySoon]

@eyes I actually made a thread a little over a month ago where I asked for opinions on whether I should have my midface implants revised to be more noticeable (I had custom midface + chin implant surgery with Dr. Y back in March; he actually designed a complete wraparound jaw implant for me that I'm going to go back to have placed in a few months). There is a series of photos in the OP that I took when I was working at my job at the hospital:

https://looksmax.org/threads/should-i-get-a-revision-of-my-midface-implants.43663/

On the second page of the thread, I posted some additional photos that I took when I was at the gym a few days later (there is a GIF at the end of me in motion):



But yes, to answer your question I've never had a GF. Never been on any dates either. The closest I've come is when I casually went out to eat with 2 female classmates back in May, strictly as classmates.

 

[Deleted member 2846]

Not sure if you've seen my pre-surgery photos, but I had very flat zygos and midface in general. In certain types of lighting I was able to fraud the appearance of forward growth since I have hollow cheeks after exercising (especially after cardio), but overall my face was very flat. My chin was also short, and even now my jaw angles are somewhat high (planning on going back to Dr. Y to get the rest of the wraparound implant placed that he designed for me). However, my eye area is probably my biggest failo.

TBH, the only reason I haven't undergone more procedures than @facemaxxed is because I don't have as much money as him. If I was wealthier, I would've already undergone the procedures I've had done so far (custom midface + chin implants), PLUS paranasal and premaxillary implants, eye area overhaul surgery (canthoplasty + orbital decompression + lower lid retraction correction), the rest of the jaw implant that I mentioned, and possibly a revision of my midface implants. On the fence as to whether or not I should get buccal/perioral fat removal since literally everyone guesses my age at 27-28 IRL, and considering my age (almost 32), I don't need to do anything to make myself look any older.

I guess I just don't understand why the majority of guys who missed out on validation and affection from females during their developmental years aren't pursuing PS procedures like me, even though I'm sure there are more guys whose history (during their teens/twenties) mirrors mine than there are chads and chadlites. In other words, why am I going crazy with pursuing PS while the other guys aren't? Are they just LDARing?

They aren’t blackpilled. A lot of them are extremely bluepilled.. thinking if they (legit) get a haircut and go to the gym, they may get a girl but they aren’t even aware of that their face is the problem. Go to r/tinder and look at the weekly profile reviews. It’s completely bluepilled. That’s how the dating scene is. A bunch of slightly overweight, bloated guys with shitty facial hair and balding. And they don’t even realize it’s their face. Not their personality.

 

[SurgerySoon]

They aren’t blackpilled. A lot of them are extremely bluepilled.. thinking if they (legit) get a haircut and go to the gym, they may get a girl but they aren’t even aware of that their face is the problem. Go to r/tinder and look at the weekly profile reviews. It’s completely bluepilled. That’s how the dating scene is. A bunch of slightly overweight, bloated guys with shitty facial hair and balding. And they don’t even realize it’s their face. Not their personality.

That makes sense. The thing that really sucks for them is that even for the few who do eventually wake-up and become blackpilled, it probably won't happen until they've reached their late 20's/early 30's. Then they'll find themselves in a situation similar to mine, where they'll not only be looking to undergo drastic procedures to make their faces more attractive, but they'll be trying to do so while also racing against the aging clock and doing everything they can to maintain a "late 20's look."

 

[pisslord]

low self confidence
clueless in social interaction
will be perceived as "weird"
more interest in escapism forms(video gaymes, fiction books tvs, animes and other faggot shit)

 

[Deleted member 616]

It's kinda irreparable if you had no female validation in your adolescence. I had gfs and female attention starting from college, it doesn't help though. The hatred, bitterness, regrets and depression that are rooted in my miserable teenage years are still traumatizing me ngl.

 

[SurgerySoon]

low self confidence
clueless in social interaction
will be perceived as "weird"
more interest in escapism forms(video gaymes, fiction books tvs, animes and other faggot shit)

Interesting. Pretty much all of that applies to me, except I'm not into anime and shit like that. Also haven't played videogames in over a year and a half

It's kinda irreparable if you had no female validation in your adolescence. I had gfs and female attention starting from college, it doesn't help though. The hatred, bitterness, regrets and depression that are rooted in my miserable teenage years are still traumatizing me ngl.

That's what I figured. Guess I'm pretty much fucked. The only time I ever remember a girl giving me any attention is when a girl frauded an IOI to me back in seventh grade by telling me, "Oh by the way, I like you!" in a ploy to try to get me to give her a dollar so she could buy a cookie during lunch. It's a wonder I didn't rope before the end of eighth grade.

 

[6'4 looksmaxxxer]

They aren’t blackpilled. A lot of them are extremely bluepilled.. thinking if they (legit) get a haircut and go to the gym, they may get a girl but they aren’t even aware of that their face is the problem. Go to r/tinder and look at the weekly profile reviews. It’s completely bluepilled. That’s how the dating scene is. A bunch of slightly overweight, bloated guys with shitty facial hair and balding. And they don’t even realize it’s their face. Not their personality.

I love it when thry're so clueless:maybe i don't look approachable maybe i said the wrong thing maybe bla bla bla lol

It's kinda irreparable if you had no female validation in your adolescence. I had gfs and female attention starting from college, it doesn't help though. The hatred, bitterness, regrets and depression that are rooted in my miserable teenage years are still traumatizing me ngl.

No matter how much i ascend i'll never be able to love a woman ever again too bitter and jaded for that shit i'll only pump and dump

 

[SurgerySoon]

I love it when thry're so clueless:maybe i don't look approachable maybe i said the wrong thing maybe bla bla bla lol

No matter how much i ascend i'll never be able to love a woman ever again too bitter and jaded for that shit i'll only pump and dump

The bolded is pretty much the extent of the kinds of interactions I want with women from this point on in my life

 

[6'4 looksmaxxxer]

The bolded is pretty much the extent of the kinds of interactions I want with women from this point on in my life

Yap cause the psychological damage from years of celibacy cannot be fixed

 

[SurgerySoon]

Yap cause the psychological damage from years of celibacy cannot be fixed

There's that, and also because I just have no interest in being in a relationship at this point in my life. It's kind of like how you're either the kind of person who likes having a dog or you're not. The thought of being in a relationship just doesn't appeal to me, so if I'm going to get any sort of sexual gratification at all from women, it's going to be through nightclub/bar hookups. Whether or not my age will hold me back is another story, though

 

[SHARK]

I guess I just don't understand why the majority of guys who missed out on validation and affection from females during their developmental years aren't pursuing PS procedures like me, even though I'm sure there are more guys whose history (during their teens/twenties) mirrors mine than there are chads and chadlites. In other words, why am I going crazy with pursuing PS while the other guys aren't? Are they just LDARing?

They aren’t blackpilled. A lot of them are extremely bluepilled.. thinking if they (legit) get a haircut and go to the gym, they may get a girl but they aren’t even aware of that their face is the problem. Go to r/tinder and look at the weekly profile reviews. It’s completely bluepilled. That’s how the dating scene is. A bunch of slightly overweight, bloated guys with shitty facial hair and balding. And they don’t even realize it’s their face. Not their personality.

Legit

 

[SurgerySoon]

@SHARK your sig pic recreates the feelings I experienced back in middle/high school when I first realized it was over for me

 

[Deleted member 3045]

Completely and utterly devastatating.

This is not talked about much in here because people still have that little shred of hope but the psycholgical aspects are the WORST. I received tons of validation primary and high school and in turn it has given me unshakable confidence pretty much. I have friends and brother who did not receive any or barely any validation and have disasterous self-esteem issues, poor sex lives and even if they have ascended constantly doubt the relationship and their worth.

Not much is talked about the psychological aspects but the impact of looks on dating only is just the tip of the iceberg, it goes muuuch muuuch deeper than that.

 

[SurgerySoon]

Completely and utterly devastatating.

This is not talked about much in here because people still have that little shred of hope but the psycholgical aspects are the WORST. I received tons of validation primary and high school and in turn it has given me unshakable confidence pretty much. I have friends and brother who did not receive any or barely any validation and have disasterous self-esteem issues, poor sex lives and even if they have ascended constantly doubt the relationship and their worth.

Not much is talked about the psychological aspects but the impact of looks on dating only is just the tip of the iceberg, it goes muuuch muuuch deeper than that.

I didn't start devoting much thought to the psychological consequences of being an incel until I reached my late 20's. Now I'm almost 32, have never had a girlfriend or even gone on a date with a girl, and as the realization that I'll be 40 in 8 years has dawned on me over the last few years, I'm starting to realize that it is likely over for me.

 

[SHARK]

@SHARK your sig pic recreates the feelings I experienced back in middle/high school when I first realized it was over for me

Yea if you didn’t experience teen love there is going to be SOMETHING wrong with you mentally. What it is and how severe, varies person to person.

 

[Deleted member 3045]

I didn't start devoting much thought to the psychological consequences of being an incel until I reached my late 20's. Now I'm almost 32, have never had a girlfriend or even gone on a date with a girl, and as the realization that I'll be 40 in 8 years has dawned on me over the last few years, I'm starting to realize that it is likely over for me.

In all honesty, I am holding myself from writing about psychological effects because there are vulnerable people browsing but pretty much the entire blackpill thing is just the tip of the iceberg it's not only the dating life which you can improve with a surgery it goes way deeper than that. I'm talking effects which dictate work life, levels of self-love, compassion, workaholism, addictions.

Yea if you didn’t experience teen love there is going to be SOMETHING wrong with you mentally. What it is and how severe, varies person to person.

It's not about love or intimacy per se but about the validation. Physical contact like kissing doesn't change you much but being let known on daily basis you are desires just as shitty as you are has deep consequences.

 

[Deleted member 2854]

Completely and utterly devastatating.

This is not talked about much in here because people still have that little shred of hope but the psycholgical aspects are the WORST. I received tons of validation primary and high school and in turn it has given me unshakable confidence pretty much. I have friends and brother who did not receive any or barely any validation and have disasterous self-esteem issues, poor sex lives and even if they have ascended constantly doubt the relationship and their worth.

Not much is talked about the psychological aspects but the impact of looks on dating only is just the tip of the iceberg, it goes muuuch muuuch deeper than that.

There’s truth to this. I’m damaged to the core due to lifelong ugliness

 

[SurgerySoon]

Yea if you didn’t experience teen love there is going to be SOMETHING wrong with you mentally. What it is and how severe, varies person to person.

I agree. For me, I would like to learn more about what it is that's specifically wrong with me, like from a diagnostic standpoint. (mostly just to satisfy my own curiosity)

 

[Deleted member 3045]

I agree. For me, I would like to learn more about what it is that's specifically wrong with me, like from a diagnostic standpoint. (mostly just to satisfy my own curiosity)

Like lookswise?

 

[SurgerySoon]

In all honesty, I am holding myself from writing about psychological effects because there are vulnerable people browsing but pretty much the entire blackpill thing is just the tip of the iceberg it's not only the dating life which you can improve with a surgery it goes way deeper than that. I'm talking effects which dictate work life, levels of self-love, compassion, workaholism, addictions.

I know you said you've been holding yourself back from discussing some of the psychological aspects of not getting affection, validation, or the affirmation from even one girl that you're attractive during your adolescent years, but do you mind discussing some of what you know? For example, assuming my surgeries don't miraculously make me more attractive, is my psychological well-being likely to suffer even more as I get farther along into my 30's?

Like lookswise?

Actually, I was primarily referring to possible psychiatric diagnoses, but that too

 

[Over]

Your mental health will keep going down into the abyss until you rope or in very very rare cases go ER. I dont know how you made it past 30s, perhaps coping with escorts? But I am on same boat as you at 23, KHHV never had a girl interested in me and I am pretty much planning to rope in 2 years if I cant NTmaxx and lose my V, because i dont have money for any surgeries (not living in the US).

Eternal sadness will consume you.

 

[Deleted member 3045]

For example, assuming my surgeries don't miraculously make me more attractive, is my psychological well-being likely to suffer even more as I get farther along into my 30's?

That depends on a lot of factors. Do you do any practices to help you mentally or any therapy?

 

[SurgerySoon]

Your mental health will keep going down into the abyss until you rope or in very very rare cases go ER. I dont know how you made it past 30s, perhaps coping with escorts? But I am on same boat as you at 23, KHHV never had a girl interested in me and I am pretty much planning to rope in 2 years if I cant NTmaxx and lose my V, because i dont have money for any surgeries (not living in the US).

Eternal sadness will consume you.

I figured about as much. Never been to any escorts. I guess I've just kind of gone numb to it all at this point.

That depends on a lot of factors. Do you do any practices to help you mentally or any therapy?

No, not at all. I pretty much have just focused on finishing up graduate school (going to graduate in May 2020). I used to tell myself things would get better once I was finally done with school and started making legit money, but now I realize that was just a clever, self-imposed cope to make me psychologically justify being an incel throughout my 20's.

 

[Over]

Not gonna lie then 32 and virgin is hardcore inceldom. I dont know what you can do. Ever been rated by anyone?

 

[Deleted member 3045]

No, not at all. I pretty much have just focused on finishing up graduate school (going to graduate in May 2020). I used to tell myself things would get better once I was finally done with school and started making legit money, but now I realize that was just a clever, self-imposed cope to make me psychologically justify being an incel throughout my 20's.

Well at least grad school from career perspective.. It's a good idea to explore ways to let go of trauma so do some exploration on meditation, therapy etc. You have a grad degree so you will be much more effective in separating the wheat from the chaff.

 

[6'4 looksmaxxxer]

There's that, and also because I just have no interest in being in a relationship at this point in my life. It's kind of like how you're either the kind of person who likes having a dog or you're not. The thought of being in a relationship just doesn't appeal to me, so if I'm going to get any sort of sexual gratification at all from women, it's going to be through nightclub/bar hookups. Whether or not my age will hold me back is another story, though

Same i can't imagine myself in a relationship i am trying to get laid that's all