What is the best mindset for social confidence?

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lilhorizontal32

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Is it

1. Thinking you are better than everyone? (Narcissists and sociopaths truly think this and they are extremely confident & charismatic)

2. Believe you are no better and no less than anyone and everyone around you. Ie. that everyone is equal

Redditors always say that it’s number 2 but sounds like bluepill cope to me.
When I am talking to someone I mog either looks wise or status wise, I’m confident and even somewhat charismatic. Whereas when I am talking to a Chad/Stacy I am definitely more inhibited.

thoughts? And what’s the blackpilled take on this?
 
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Most people are average by definition, so option 1 is going to be extremely unlikely for someone to put in practice. You’re simply not going to mog other people constantly
 
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1
 
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option 1 moggs. BUT you have to be legit crazy in the head, to be able to actually beleive that. So most sane people can't do that.

Than number 2, is the 2nd best and healthy option. One can mentally fool oneself that each peron is equally valuable in the big picture of all humans on the plant
 
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just be good looking and stay down to earth
 
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just be good looking and stay down to earth
ill also say , males are jealous of looks just as woman are, thanks to social media
 
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option 1 moggs. BUT you have to be legit crazy in the head, to be able to actually beleive that. So most sane people can't do that.

Than number 2, is the 2nd best and healthy option. One can mentally fool oneself that each peron is equally valuable in the big picture of all humans on the plant
Right but if you can fool yourself of option 2 why not fool yourself of option 1?
 
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Right but if you can fool yourself of option 2 why not fool yourself of option 1?
realist + narcissist – believe you are better than everyone hence you need to do better than everyone and challenge your worldview with reality regularly to make sure that notion holds up
 
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Dopamine + adrenaline. You either have to be euphoric for natural reasons (as you won sth) or swallow meth.

You can achieve that state by doing something risky, for instance bungee jumping.
 
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Neither of those mindsets are correct because bottom line is you are deluding yourself. You many think it’s possible but you can only lie to yourself for so long. Deep down you will KNOW it’s not true, so it will not impact your social success.

The thing is you just need to lower your inhibitation.
 
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Is it

1. Thinking you are better than everyone? (Narcissists and sociopaths truly think this and they are extremely confident & charismatic)

2. Believe you are no better and no less than anyone and everyone around you. Ie. that everyone is equal

Redditors always say that it’s number 2 but sounds like bluepill cope to me.
When I am talking to someone I mog either looks wise or status wise, I’m confident and even somewhat charismatic. Whereas when I am talking to a Chad/Stacy I am definitely more inhibited.

thoughts? And what’s the blackpilled take on this?
as salinity said neither.
he said work on your inhib but how?
it's like saying work on your body language and ppl then watch videos about how to act right.
The body language as well as inhibition reflect yourself and how you feel. If you dont feel comfortable or insecure that will reflect in your body language. so your goal shouldn't be to mimic good body language. The goal should be to fix the underlying issue of why you feel like that. If you fix the actual issue that will naturally reflect into a good body language and healthy inhibition.
 
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The only way to do this is:

1. Building a secure social support system (Friends, Family, Significant other)​
2. Learning about body language​
3. Learn basic communication skills (How to start a conversation, appropriate things to say, Reflective speech, When/How to show empathy etc)​
4. Practice​




The first step is important because while you can fraud confidence unless your a psychopath there will be plenty of holes and it will seem fake. But with a good support system you can feel very safe putting yourself out there because you know that you will have something to fall back on.

The second step is important because you will be aware what other people are feeling which will allow you to know the right questions to ask or know the right things to say. You can also modify your own body language to seem more confident.

The third and fourth go without saying
 
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Neither of those mindsets are correct because bottom line is you are deluding yourself. You many think it’s possible but you can only lie to yourself for so long. Deep down you will KNOW it’s not true, so it will not impact your social success.

The thing is you just need to lower your inhibitation.
Yeah I have no problems with people when I have had enough alcohol. Can make friends easily and even ok with girls

so inhibition seems to be the problem. But this seems to be deriving from an improper mindset (at least that’s what I think) so I’m trying to fix this root cause in order to becoming low inhib and more calm
 
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The goal should be to fix the underlying issue of why you feel like that. If you fix the actual issue that will naturally reflect into a good body language and healthy inhibition.
I’m pretty sure the underlying issue is my mindset
 
Dopamine + adrenaline. You either have to be euphoric for natural reasons (as you won sth) or swallow meth.

You can achieve that state by doing something risky, for instance bungee jumping.
The dopamine thing could be true tbh.
Explains why I am more relaxed after getting something done or finishing a workout
 
Yeah I have no problems with people when I have had enough alcohol. Can make friends easily and even ok with girls

so inhibition seems to be the problem. But this seems to be deriving from an improper mindset (at least that’s what I think) so I’m trying to fix this root cause in order to becoming low inhib and more calm
Not necessarily.

Changing your mindset won't do much to fix up your social skills and is far more complicated then lowering your inhibitation.
Extroversion exists on a spectrum, where you fall on that spectrum naturally depends on two things--your environment and your genetics.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

60% of extroversion is genetic, but the other 40% is environmental.

Let's suppose that a guy named John is a natural introvert--his genetics made him a 4/10 on the extroversion scale and as a result he has a predisposition to be a bit more high-inhib and seeks out people less.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

But one day at a social event he tries to be more confident, outgoing etc, and to his surprise, he gets results. People like him more, people ask for his number so they can hang out and he becomes the life of the party.

John enjoys himself and people are excepting of his boldness.

This is the environmental part of extroversion positive feedback.

Because of the positive feedback from the others John is more likely to be extroverted in the future.

Because of his positive experience with extroversion he tries to be more outgoing again and the results are just as fantastic.

extroverted behaviour is rewarded and so John acts extroverted more which in turn gets him rewarded again and again and again.

The cycle continues.


This is called a Positive Feedback Loop.

Now maybe John began a natural 4/10 on the extroversion scale, but because of his environment he is now much more extroverted and low-inhib!

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10


When it comes to becoming more low-inhib you need to apply the same concepts--make an active effort to be more social and the rest will naturally follow.

of course, the positive feedback loop also has an opposite--the Negative Feedback Loop where by bad experiences with extroversion and low-inhib make you retreat into your shell and become a basement dweller.

Let's go back to John, only instead of all of these great things happening to him when he was extroverted, outgoing and low-inhib, people looked at him like he was a weirdo and regarded him with distaste and annoyance.

The negative experience would reinforce his introverted behaviour and thus make him less sociable.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10


This is why good-looking people are typically more extroverted--positive feedback + reinforcement since people enjoy seeing Chad having fun and being a part of the group.

Now then, how do you use this knowledge to lower your inhib?

Simple. You act low inhib, confident and extroverted--really make an effort--and regardless of the outcome reward yourself.

You need to be the positive reinforcement you never got when you were younger-- congratulate yourself, hype yourself up a bit and get excited for what you are becoming and the rest will follow naturally.

People will treat you better, you will have more friends and best of all women will enjoy your company more, but it all starts up in here 🧠 when you decide to be the change you want to see in your life and to enjoy and celebrate your accomplishments.
 
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Right but if you can fool yourself of option 2 why not fool yourself of option 1?
Because option 1 needs imo, much more and bigger amounts of delusional thinking. Totally devoid from any truth, facts and proofs.

While option 2, needs limited delusion, imo. It makes more phylosopical sense.
 
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Eat ass, live fast
 
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I’d say a good amount of number 1 is required if you want to lead. Though you’ll need a good amount of self awareness as well to know when that kind of thinking becomes a delusion and a detriment.
 
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Not necessarily.

Changing your mindset won't do much to fix up your social skills and is far more complicated then lowering your inhibitation.
Extroversion exists on a spectrum, where you fall on that spectrum naturally depends on two things--your environment and your genetics.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

60% of extroversion is genetic, but the other 40% is environmental.

Let's suppose that a guy named John is a natural introvert--his genetics made him a 4/10 on the extroversion scale and as a result he has a predisposition to be a bit more high-inhib and seeks out people less.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

But one day at a social event he tries to be more confident, outgoing etc, and to his surprise, he gets results. People like him more, people ask for his number so they can hang out and he becomes the life of the party.

John enjoys himself and people are excepting of his boldness.

This is the environmental part of extroversion positive feedback.

Because of the positive feedback from the others John is more likely to be extroverted in the future.

Because of his positive experience with extroversion he tries to be more outgoing again and the results are just as fantastic.

extroverted behaviour is rewarded and so John acts extroverted more which in turn gets him rewarded again and again and again.

The cycle continues.


This is called a Positive Feedback Loop.

Now maybe John began a natural 4/10 on the extroversion scale, but because of his environment he is now much more extroverted and low-inhib!

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10


When it comes to becoming more low-inhib you need to apply the same concepts--make an active effort to be more social and the rest will naturally follow.

of course, the positive feedback loop also has an opposite--the Negative Feedback Loop where by bad experiences with extroversion and low-inhib make you retreat into your shell and become a basement dweller.

Let's go back to John, only instead of all of these great things happening to him when he was extroverted, outgoing and low-inhib, people looked at him like he was a weirdo and regarded him with distaste and annoyance.

The negative experience would reinforce his introverted behaviour and thus make him less sociable.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10


This is why good-looking people are typically more extroverted--positive feedback + reinforcement since people enjoy seeing Chad having fun and being a part of the group.

Now then, how do you use this knowledge to lower your inhib?

Simple. You act low inhib, confident and extroverted--really make an effort--and regardless of the outcome reward yourself.

You need to be the positive reinforcement you never got when you were younger-- congratulate yourself, hype yourself up a bit and get excited for what you are becoming and the rest will follow naturally.

People will treat you better, you will have more friends and best of all women will enjoy your company more, but it all starts up in here 🧠 when you decide to be the change you want to see in your life and to enjoy and celebrate your accomplishments.
good post. make it a Thread. Guess it's fake it till you make it
 
Not necessarily.

Changing your mindset won't do much to fix up your social skills and is far more complicated then lowering your inhibitation.
Extroversion exists on a spectrum, where you fall on that spectrum naturally depends on two things--your environment and your genetics.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

60% of extroversion is genetic, but the other 40% is environmental.

Let's suppose that a guy named John is a natural introvert--his genetics made him a 4/10 on the extroversion scale and as a result he has a predisposition to be a bit more high-inhib and seeks out people less.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

But one day at a social event he tries to be more confident, outgoing etc, and to his surprise, he gets results. People like him more, people ask for his number so they can hang out and he becomes the life of the party.

John enjoys himself and people are excepting of his boldness.

This is the environmental part of extroversion positive feedback.

Because of the positive feedback from the others John is more likely to be extroverted in the future.

Because of his positive experience with extroversion he tries to be more outgoing again and the results are just as fantastic.

extroverted behaviour is rewarded and so John acts extroverted more which in turn gets him rewarded again and again and again.

The cycle continues.


This is called a Positive Feedback Loop.

Now maybe John began a natural 4/10 on the extroversion scale, but because of his environment he is now much more extroverted and low-inhib!

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10


When it comes to becoming more low-inhib you need to apply the same concepts--make an active effort to be more social and the rest will naturally follow.

of course, the positive feedback loop also has an opposite--the Negative Feedback Loop where by bad experiences with extroversion and low-inhib make you retreat into your shell and become a basement dweller.

Let's go back to John, only instead of all of these great things happening to him when he was extroverted, outgoing and low-inhib, people looked at him like he was a weirdo and regarded him with distaste and annoyance.

The negative experience would reinforce his introverted behaviour and thus make him less sociable.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10


This is why good-looking people are typically more extroverted--positive feedback + reinforcement since people enjoy seeing Chad having fun and being a part of the group.

Now then, how do you use this knowledge to lower your inhib?

Simple. You act low inhib, confident and extroverted--really make an effort--and regardless of the outcome reward yourself.

You need to be the positive reinforcement you never got when you were younger-- congratulate yourself, hype yourself up a bit and get excited for what you are becoming and the rest will follow naturally.

People will treat you better, you will have more friends and best of all women will enjoy your company more, but it all starts up in here 🧠 when you decide to be the change you want to see in your life and to enjoy and celebrate your accomplishments.
makes sense & good post. but doesnt this mean you gotta be chad/decently gl before you can become extroverted?
 
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Because option 1 needs imo, much more and bigger amounts of delusional thinking. Totally devoid from any truth, facts and proofs.

While option 2, needs limited delusion, imo. It makes more phylosopical sense.
got it. and yeah I can't seem to delude myself into believing either so thats where my confusion lies. I thought if both were equally as difficult to believe might as well try believe option 1
 
Is it

1. Thinking you are better than everyone? (Narcissists and sociopaths truly think this and they are extremely confident & charismatic)

2. Believe you are no better and no less than anyone and everyone around you. Ie. that everyone is equal

Redditors always say that it’s number 2 but sounds like bluepill cope to me.
When I am talking to someone I mog either looks wise or status wise, I’m confident and even somewhat charismatic. Whereas when I am talking to a Chad/Stacy I am definitely more inhibited.

thoughts? And what’s the blackpilled take on this?
not giving a fuck about either of these and just saying and doing what you want, obviously conversations and social situations are less draining if you can just be yourself and emotionally honest. Looks are gonna be supreme in terms of how you project yourself and your social status so trying to build some facade about yourself is just a waste of effort and isn't even going to have the results you want.
 
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not giving a fuck about either of these and just saying and doing what you want, obviously conversations and social situations are less draining if you can just be yourself and emotionally honest. Looks are gonna be supreme in terms of how you project yourself and your social status so trying to build some facade about yourself is just a waste of effort and isn't even going to have the results you want.
interesting take. now that I think about it when I talk to my parents I don't even know whether I see them as better or worse than me, I just talk to them, if you know what I mean. no overthinking or anything like that. could be the case that how you view yourself relative to someone else (at least consciously) has no effect on your inhibition around them, as it could all be subconscious anyway. so maybe best not to worry about it at all and just unironically be yourself?

yeah agree with you that improving looks would be a quicker way to increase social status than improving your personality. but I'm getting to a point now where it is becoming harder for me to increase looks significantly without hardmaxxing
 
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Is it

1. Thinking you are better than everyone? (Narcissists and sociopaths truly think this and they are extremely confident & charismatic)

2. Believe you are no better and no less than anyone and everyone around you. Ie. that everyone is equal

Redditors always say that it’s number 2 but sounds like bluepill cope to me.
When I am talking to someone I mog either looks wise or status wise, I’m confident and even somewhat charismatic. Whereas when I am talking to a Chad/Stacy I am definitely more inhibited.

thoughts? And what’s the blackpilled take on this?
You can roll on with 1 if you're gl & stuff. But mentally it fucks you up (hard) so I wouldn't advice it.

2 would be better overall because your face,body etc. talks instead of your actions or words.
 
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You can roll on with 1 if you're gl & stuff. But mentally it fucks you up so I wouldn't advice it.
1 works well for me when I am in an environment where I mog. not so well when I'm in a room full of Chads/Chadlites
 
ill also say , males are jealous of looks just as woman are, thanks to social media
No, most men cannot judge looks - theyre jelaus of height and physique most of the time
 
1 works well for me when I am in an environment where I mog. not so well when I'm in a room full of Chads/Chadlites
1 works well but on some shit tests for example 2 foid friends of mine showed the instagram account of sbd and told me how did the dude looked ( HTN or 5 PSL at most p.boy basketball player dude who I mog the fuck out by looks etc., probs around the same height w/me (6'2-6'3) )and it made me mentally crazy because I got asked about this. On other occasions you melt down your psychology as well because there are better looking people in the world you know that exists (Chico,Pattinson etc.)
 
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about 3.75-4.00 atm. however got braces failo

when lean, max maybe 4.25-4.50
No offense but you won't have a chance even at 4.5 PSL in 1st mindstate. (Unless you're living in the most subhuman area on earth)
 
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No offense but you won't have a chance even at 4.5 PSL in 1st mindstate. (Unless you're living in the most subhuman area on earth)
appreciate the honesty. will be trying to adopt the 2nd mindset from now on
 
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appreciate the honesty. will be trying to adopt the 2nd mindset from now on
I wouldn't advice the 1st mental state even if you were 7 PSL. It really fucks up your mind and lower your life quality overall.
 
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got it. and yeah I can't seem to delude myself into believing either so thats where my confusion lies. I thought if both were equally as difficult to believe might as well try believe option 1
LOL.
I tried both ways of deluding myself.
The 2nd one I could do decently.
The first one, I couldn't, I knew I was lying to myself, and the feedback of the world, aka rejections etc.., just didn't match up. Because if you are the shit, why getting rejected 90+% of the time
 
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guys can definitely judge looks bro
Not saying they cant, but they can only recognize an extreme - when someone is 7 psl they will say "hes GL"

But they cant recognize the differences between 5 and 6 or 4.5 and 5
 
Not saying they cant, but they can only recognize an extreme - when someone is 7 psl they will say "hes GL"

But they cant recognize the differences between 5 and 6 or 4.5 and 5
1 PSL difference is easily recognizable imo. Forum made me more accurate on looks lol
 
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1. Thinking you are better than everyone? (Narcissists and sociopaths truly think this and they are extremely confident & charismatic)

2. Believe you are no better and no less than anyone and everyone around you. Ie. that everyone is equal
Youre not the one that gets to choose - people choose for you.
If youre a 6 psl chad, people will treat you like a god so naturally over time you will develop the first mindset. Why does every pretty girl have the first mindset?

Likewise if people treat you like trash you will adopt a third mindset - thinking youre trash, not worthy, not equal.
 
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Youre not the one that gets to choose - people choose for you.
If youre a 6 psl chad, people will treat you like a god so naturally over time you will develop the first mindset. Why does every pretty girl have the first mindset?

Likewise if people treat you like trash you will adopt a third mindset - thinking youre trash, not worthy, not equal.
6 PSL isn't god tier tbh. More like 6.5-6.75+. But whatever asshole/narcy actions you make; people wouldstill hangout, be friends with you.
 
6 PSL isn't god tier tbh. More like 6.5-6.75+. But whatever asshole/narcy actions you make; people wouldstill hangout, be friends with you.
6 psl is god tier in real life

6.5 psl is the best you will ever see with your own eyes unless youll go to some actual modeling show
 
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6 psl is god tier in real life

6.5 psl is the best you will ever see with your own eyes unless youll go to some actual modeling show
What do you mean by god tier? 6 PSL =/= :eek:. But most of the time you get eyes laid on by any age/gender.
1619869216680


For example this dude was called 6.00 PSL on this forum many times but he isn't striking at all.
 
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LOL.
I tried both ways of deluding myself.
The 2nd one I could do decently.
The first one, I couldn't, I knew I was lying to myself, and the feedback of the world, aka rejections etc.., just didn't match up. Because if you are the shit, why getting rejected 90+% of the time
interesting cos for me the 2nd was harder

when I walked past a chad and then an incel it was hard to tell myself that they had the same social status

but then with the first one, depending on what social circle I was in I could give myself a different reason for why I was the best one there. e.g. in a group of footballers I could tell myself that I had the best fashion sense, in a group of people with good fashion that I had the best athletic ability etc.

but this only works tho until you get mogged in every way: height looks fashion athleticism social status etc. as well as things you actually have to believe contribute value to someone, e.g. you cant delude yourself into thinking your better than such a mogger because your nails are neatly trimmed and theirs arent JFL
 
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What do you mean by god tier? 6 PSL =/= :eek:. But most of the time you get eyes laid on by any age/gender.
6 psl is "what the fuck this guy is so good looking, let me take a picture of him and set it to the GC"
5 psl is regular good looking guy

7 psl is so good looking that you literally look like a different species
 
interesting cos for me the 2nd was harder

when I walked past a chad and then an incel it was hard to tell myself that they had the same social status

but then with the first one, depending on what social circle I was in I could give myself a different reason for why I was the best one there. e.g. in a group of footballers I could tell myself that I had the best fashion sense, in a group of people with good fashion that I had the best athletic ability etc.

but this only works tho until you get mogged in every way: height looks fashion athleticism social status etc. as well as things you actually have to believe contribute value to someone, e.g. you cant delude yourself into thinking your better than such a mogger because your nails are neatly trimmed and theirs arent JFL
How tall are you?
6 psl is "what the fuck this guy is so good looking, let me take a picture of him and set it to the GC"
5 psl is regular good looking guy

7 psl is so good looking that you literally look like a different species
Check the guy I posted above. Would you call him " what the fuck this guy is so good looking,"? @Mongrelcel
 
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Youre not the one that gets to choose - people choose for you.
If youre a 6 psl chad, people will treat you like a god so naturally over time you will develop the first mindset. Why does every pretty girl have the first mindset?

Likewise if people treat you like trash you will adopt a third mindset - thinking youre trash, not worthy, not equal.
I agree, to some extent

although I know ugly short guys that are insanely charismatic, dont know how though. like where tf are you getting that confidence when you get mogged in every social setting you are a part of
 
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How tall are you?

Check the guy I posted above. Would you call him " what the fuck this guy is so good looking,"?
average height to above average height in most circles I'm a part of
 
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I agree, to some extent

although I know ugly short guys that are insanely charismatic, dont know how though. like where tf are you getting that confidence when you get mogged in every social setting you are a part of
I know a guy like this, PSL 4-4.50 but a manlet, but gets brutally mogged in every social circle he is a part of.

yet he is easily the most charismatic, charming person there and usually becomes the leader of the group.

heard from a friend of his that he has sociopathy (ASD diagnosed by a psych, not some cringey self diagnosis) and I am guessing that this is where his low inhibition comes from. he is also impulsive af
 
I agree, to some extent

although I know ugly short guys that are insanely charismatic, dont know how though. like where tf are you getting that confidence when you get mogged in every social setting you are a part of
Every single guy thats below average looking and has confidence had that confidence built when he was very young.

You dont see guys that are ugly and were losers suddenly gaining unshakable confiedence.

These guys usually have a rock solid friendgroup & were popular in middlechool and then they were able to take that start and develop even more in HS

Being "insanely charismatic" isnt something you can really learn, you can lear how to go from utter trash to below average or maybe even average, but that kind of charisma youre talking about isnt attainable by your own efforts.

Every extremly charismatic guy was already popular and socially fluent even young, even in HS, even in UNI - this type of social skill snowballs - it is said youre the average of 5 people you hang out with, you see because they were already popular form young age they were able to surround themselves with people that were also socially skilled, they did this for years, then traded that friendgroup for one thats even higher status and even more sociall skilled, so their own social skills developed further

It isnt possible to "learn" charisma, but it is possible to attain it - by having lots of social interactions with people that are socially better than you.

But it is impossible to do it now, the gap is too large, the people you want to learn from dont want to interact with you because youre bringing them down - but they didnt think this way in middleschool, it was way less calculated

How are you going to get to that level now that youre however old fucking socially retarded ugly short vigrin?
 
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Is it

1. Thinking you are better than everyone? (Narcissists and sociopaths truly think this and they are extremely confident & charismatic)

2. Believe you are no better and no less than anyone and everyone around you. Ie. that everyone is equal

Redditors always say that it’s number 2 but sounds like bluepill cope to me.
When I am talking to someone I mog either looks wise or status wise, I’m confident and even somewhat charismatic. Whereas when I am talking to a Chad/Stacy I am definitely more inhibited.

thoughts? And what’s the blackpilled take on this?
Neither is a good choice. Not everybody is equal, though every man is in some way your superior.
 

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