What is the best mindset for social confidence?

[lilhorizontal32]

Every single guy thats below average looking and has confidence had that confidence built when he was very young.

You dont see guys that are ugly and were losers suddenly gaining unshakable confiedence.

These guys usually have a rock solid friendgroup & were popular in middlechool and then they were able to take that start and develop even more in HS

Being "insanely charismatic" isnt something you can really learn, you can lear how to go from utter trash to below average or maybe even average, but that kind of charisma youre talking about isnt attainable by your own efforts.

Every extremly charismatic guy was already popular and socially fluent even young, even in HS, even in UNI - this type of social skill snowballs - it is said youre the average of 5 people you hang out with, you see because they were already popular form young age they were able to surround themselves with people that were also socially skilled, they did this for years, then traded that friendgroup for one thats even higher status and even more sociall skilled, so their own social skills developed further

It isnt possible to "learn" charisma, but it is possible to attain it - by having lots of social interactions with people that are socially better than you.

But it is impossible to do it now, the gap is too large, the people you want to learn from dont want to interact with you because youre bringing them down - but they didnt think this way in middleschool, it was way less calculated

How are you going to get to that level now that youre however old fucking socially retarded ugly short vigrin?

high iq take on this. but my social skills arent really the problem, I do just fine when I drink. its the confidence that is

It isnt possible to "learn" charisma, but it is possible to attain it - by having lots of social interactions with people that are socially better than you.

But it is impossible to do it now, the gap is too large, the people you want to learn from dont want to interact with you because youre bringing them down - but they didnt think this way in middleschool, it was way less calculated

How are you going to get to that level now that youre however old fucking socially retarded ugly short vigrin?

yeah especially as you grow older, there are less and less opportunities to socialise without getting invited. in college there is a lot less forced interaction meaning opportunities for you to make friends, and learn these skills passively, whereas in hs you have to go to class for several hours a day, 5 days a week. so if you dont have these skills by the end of hs its gonna be a tough road for you

the closest thing to forced interaction with people you want to befriend and learn these skills from would be the workplace, but even then cliques form and you get excluded. and there arent that many people your age comparatively either

 

[lilhorizontal32]

Neither is a good choice. Not everybody is equal, though every man is in some way your superior.

so what do you recommend?

 

[Mongrelcel]

high iq take on this. but my social skills arent really the problem, I do just fine when I drink. its the confidence that is

well then your problem could be the balckpill itself - how come normies that are subhuman sometimes do just fine? Because they are not aware that they're subhuman.

But you are, you now are aware just how big is the difference between you & a tall handsome guy, or a pretty women. Its insane hwo different theyre lives are - to us its like a movie.

You have 500 posts now, by the time you have 2000 you will be an abused dog like the rest of us, and if looksmax is the majority of your social interaction its over for you. Visiting looksmax is fine if you have a healthy social life and you come here just to discuss procedures and looksmaxing theories, but as you are engaging and discussing life philosophy with abuse dogs (me), its over for you and if not now, then it wil be very soon.

The worst thing about blackpill is that even tho its true, it is still very bad for you. And because its true, once you know it, you cant just forget - because youd just be deluding yourself with the

yeah especially as you grow older, there are less and less opportunities to socialise without getting invited. in college there is a lot less forced interaction meaning opportunities for you to make friends, and learn these skills passively, whereas in hs you have to go to class for several hours a day, 5 days a week. so if you dont have these skills by the end of hs its gonna be a tough road for you

sounds like you'd want to read my thread on this

If you're out of school and don't have a solid social circle, it's pretty much over

Think about it - even after you had improved your looks, got jacked, or whatever the fuck you wanted to do, you will still be in the exact same postion as you are now. You simply don't have a way of making friends - that migh be because your social skills are poor, but what's more likely is...

looksmax.org

we can move this discussion there, its much more suited for the purpose

Because if we (we as in the entire lookmax community, not you & me) instead of making retarded lefort 3 theories tried to come up with a way to rehabilitate your social life, it would be way more helpfulp to people on this site...

 

[lilhorizontal32]

well then your problem could be the balckpill itself - how come normies that are subhuman sometimes do just fine? Because they are not aware that they're subhuman.

But you are, you now are aware just how big is the difference between you & a tall handsome guy, or a pretty women. Its insane hwo different theyre lives are - to us its like a movie.

You have 500 posts now, by the time you have 2000 you will be an abused dog like the rest of us, and if looksmax is the majority of your social interaction its over for you. Visiting looksmax is fine if you have a healthy social life and you come here just to discuss procedures and looksmaxing theories, but as you are engaging and discussing life philosophy with abuse dogs (me), its over for you and if not now, then it wil be very soon.

The worst thing about blackpill is that even tho its true, it is still very bad for you. And because its true, once you know it, you cant just forget - because youd just be deluding yourself with the

sounds like you'd want to read my thread on this

If you're out of school and don't have a solid social circle, it's pretty much over

Think about it - even after you had improved your looks, got jacked, or whatever the fuck you wanted to do, you will still be in the exact same postion as you are now. You simply don't have a way of making friends - that migh be because your social skills are poor, but what's more likely is...

looksmax.org

we can move this discussion there, its much more suited for the purpose

Because if we (we as in the entire lookmax community, not you & me) instead of making retarded lefort 3 theories tried to come up with a way to rehabilitate your social life, it would be way more helpfulp to people on this site...

high iq as usual bro. and yeah will move the discussion to your thread

 

[eduardkoopman]

interesting cos for me the 2nd was harder

when I walked past a chad and then an incel it was hard to tell myself that they had the same social status

but then with the first one, depending on what social circle I was in I could give myself a different reason for why I was the best one there. e.g. in a group of footballers I could tell myself that I had the best fashion sense, in a group of people with good fashion that I had the best athletic ability etc.

but this only works tho until you get mogged in every way: height looks fashion athleticism social status etc. as well as things you actually have to believe contribute value to someone, e.g. you cant delude yourself into thinking your better than such a mogger because your nails are neatly trimmed and theirs arent JFL

for me 2nd one was easier, because thinking like this.

Chad has higher dating value. But incel has higher iq value. So on a wholeistic point, bopth have equal value contribution value in sopciety.
mine was heavy influenced by buddhist concept though.

Buddhist teachings = conceit must be abandoned. Any mental judgment that we (or anyone) are better than or worse than other people is considered a form of conceit.

to quote some original Buddhism:
"And what are the three kinds of conceit that are to be abandoned? (1) Conceit, (2) the inferiority complex, and (3) arrogance: these are the three kinds of conceit that are to be abandoned."

"could a bhikkhu obtain such a state of concentration that (1) he would have no I-making, mine-making, and underlying tendency to conceit in regard to this conscious body; (2) he would have no I-making, mine-making, and underlying tendency to conceit in regard to all external objects; and (3) he would enter and dwell in that liberation of mind, liberation by wisdom, through which there is no more I-making, mine-making, and underlying tendency to conceit for one who enters and dwells in it?”


"Imperfections that defile the mind:
(1) covetousness and unrighteous greed
(2) ill will
(3) anger
(4) revenge
(5) contempt
(6) a domineering attitude
(7) envy
(8) avarice
(9) deceit
(10) fraud
(11) obstinacy
(12) presumption
(13) conceit (mana)
(14) arrogance
(15) vanity
(16) negligence"

 

[one job away]

You can roll on with 1 if you're gl & stuff. But mentally it fucks you up (hard) so I wouldn't advice it.

2 would be better overall because your face,body etc. talks instead of your actions or words.

I rolled with 1 and its insanely stress full and also got me here tbh. its a constant battle of being better than anyone around you in everything which you cant win.i cant let go if it either

 

[Deleted member 5189]

Depends what you look like. If you're average or below you'll get shot down for acting narcissistic.

 

[adotsdot]

Option 1 is natural wiring for psychopaths.

Holy shit, guess what?

Psychopaths are often highly engaging, witty, charming, and fun to be around, but they are also deceitful and exploit others. They lack empathy, have no regard for the rights of others and act to serve their own purposes. They can act impulsively, be destructive and harm others without guilt or remorse.

 

[Deleted member 12002]

so what do you recommend?

Know where you stand and what you want. Let that be the driving force behind all your interactions. Or rather, never lose sight of that whenever you're on autopilot. Be humble but assertive. If you're too nice though don't be afraid to be aggressive. Being assertive is the best way to be, but for "nice guys" being assertive is a lot easier said than done. In my observation those types of dudes need to be aggressive before they can learn to be assertive. It's just a phase they seem to have to go through in order to get to where they should be. Besides, it's much better to be too aggressive than it is to be too nice. Last of all, develope good boundaries and never fail to enforce them. It doesn't matter who you're dealing with. People respect and admire others who have strong boundaries. This is especially important when it comes to social circle maxxing, because respect and admiration can only be earned through multiple interactions over a period time.

I recommend having a mindset that's based on truth. You are not better than everyone. But that doesn't mean everybody's equal either. You're gonna be better at some things than other people, and some people are gonna be better at some things than you. Yes though, you'll "mog" some folks. And some will "mog" you. Don't lord over the ones you "mog". Don't let others see that you know you're better than them. Treat them well if you can. At the same time don't ever be timid around those who "mog" you. And if you feel envy toward them don't let others see it manifest in any way. Be confident whatever the case. If you got strong boundaries, and principles, that you aren't willing to compromise on then confidence will naturally exude from you without you really having to even think about it. That's what makes the difference between real confidence and false confidence.

A lot of times people get frustrated when others tell them to be confident. They don't know what it means to be confident. They think they've been there and tried it before, when all they really did was apply false confidence.

 

[lilhorizontal32]

Know where you stand and what you want. Let that be the driving force behind all your interactions. Or rather, never lose sight of that whenever you're on autopilot. Be humble but assertive. If you're too nice though don't be afraid to be aggressive. Being assertive is the best way to be, but for "nice guys" being assertive is a lot easier said than done. In my observation those types of dudes need to be aggressive before they can learn to be assertive. It's just a phase they seem to have to go through in order to get to where they should be. Besides, it's much better to be too aggressive than it is to be too nice. Last of all, develope good boundaries and never fail to enforce them. It doesn't matter who you're dealing with. People respect and admire others who have strong boundaries. This is especially important when it comes to social circle maxxing, because respect and admiration can only be earned through multiple interactions over a period time.

I recommend having a mindset that's based on truth. You are not better than everyone. But that doesn't mean everybody's equal either. You're gonna be better at some things than other people, and some people are gonna be better at some things than you. Yes though, you'll "mog" some folks. And some will "mog" you. Don't lord over the ones you "mog". Don't let others see that you know you're better than them. Treat them well if you can. At the same time don't ever be timid around those who "mog" you. And if you feel envy toward them don't let others see it manifest in any way. Be confident whatever the case. If you got strong boundaries, and principles, that you aren't willing to compromise on then confidence will naturally exude from you without you really having to even think about it. That's what makes the difference between real confidence and false confidence.

A lot of times people get frustrated when others tell them to be confident. They don't know what it means to be confident. They think they've been there and tried it before, when all they really did was apply false confidence.

thanks for the advice man, appreciate it

but do you think there is any room for delusion, say if you are in a room full of people that mog you in literally EVERY way (if that were even possible) should you tell yourself the truth or delude yourself into thinking that you arent getting mogged or even go as far to think that you are the one mogging?

 

[lilhorizontal32]

for me 2nd one was easier, because thinking like this.

Chad has higher dating value. But incel has higher iq value. So on a wholeistic point, bopth have equal value contribution value in sopciety.
mine was heavy influenced by buddhist concept though.

Buddhist teachings = conceit must be abandoned. Any mental judgment that we (or anyone) are better than or worse than other people is considered a form of conceit.

to quote some original Buddhism:
"And what are the three kinds of conceit that are to be abandoned? (1) Conceit, (2) the inferiority complex, and (3) arrogance: these are the three kinds of conceit that are to be abandoned."

yeah man definitely get where you are coming from
but what if there was a high iq chad and low iq incel, what then?

and not everyone provides equal value to society. guys like newton, tesla, einstein provided way more value than most human beings

 

[Deleted member 12002]

thanks for the advice man, appreciate it

but do you think there is any room for delusion, say if you are in a room full of people that mog you in literally EVERY way (if that were even possible) should you tell yourself the truth or delude yourself into thinking that you arent getting mogged or even go as far to think that you are the one mogging?

No, the trick is to not let getting mogged effect you. There's no room for delusion. An ugly truth is always more valuable than a beautiful lie. A beautiful lie isn't worth a damn.

 

[eduardkoopman]

yeah man definitely get where you are coming from
but what if there was a high iq chad and low iq incel, what then?

and not everyone provides equal value to society. guys like newton, tesla, einstein provided way more value than most human beings

I know, I was religious copeings maxxing. Was exactly in some aspects, espacially in the beginning. Was a decently happy causing way to life 4 me

 

[lilhorizontal32]

I know, I was religious copeings maxxing. Was exactly in some aspects, espacially in the beginning. Was a decently happy causing way to life 4 me

?

 

[lilhorizontal32]

No, the trick is to not let getting mogged effect you. There's no room for delusion. An ugly truth is always more valuable than a beautiful lie. A beautiful lie isn't worth a damn.

how do you not let it effect you? when I get mogged I become more inhibited. just a reaction that happens

 

[bernanddrago]

I rolled with 1 and its insanely stress full and also got me here tbh. its a constant battle of being better than anyone around you in everything which you cant win.i cant let go if it either

That's me.. Even when you don't get mogged in your daily life, 7 PSL+ guys live rent-free in your head.

 

[Deleted member 12002]

how do you not let it effect you? when I get mogged I become more inhibited. just a reaction that happens

Yeah, you gotta fight that. Try different things. If you have to become aggressive as a last resort then so be it. For me it's natural. I don't feel that way. In the back of my mind I know that there's a good chance I might be smarter than a person who's better looking than me. And if not, I might be able to whoop that person's ass. Even if not though, I still know that nobody's gonna rule me. I know where I stand as far as my principles and boundaries go. At the end of the day that's what it goes back to. Boundaries and principles will keep you as solid as a rock in just about any social situation imaginable.

Try to stick around in those situations where others mog you. You'll get to see that it's not really such a big deal. A lot of times it'll become apparent that many of those who mog you have very unattractive qualities. This isn't a cope, it's the truth. You'll see that when you take the time to get to know those people.

 

[pizza]

Androgenic realist mindset

 

[Deleted member 756]

Pm me
I’m one of the most knowledgeable people here

 

[Deleted member 5189]

Androgenic realist mindset

 

[Deleted member 8244]

option 1 moggs. BUT you have to be legit crazy in the head, to be able to actually beleive that. So most sane people can't do that.

Than number 2, is the 2nd best and healthy option. One can mentally fool oneself that each peron is equally valuable in the big picture of all humans on the plant

indeed, our perception is all screwed up, we think we're worse than everybody else, when in reality everyone is average and we are only noticing those on the top

 

[Entschuldigung]

Obv 1

 

[Vitruvian]

its easy for smart people to dislike you and ignore. But a dumb person will constantly seek to make his false arguments against you.

so dont be narcy around your intellect.

 

[Deleted member 13325]

Dopamine + adrenaline. You either have to be euphoric for natural reasons (as you won sth) or swallow meth.

You can achieve that state by doing something risky, for instance bungee jumping.

Adderall or phenibut brah

 

[eduardkoopman]

indeed, our perception is all screwed up, we think we're worse than everybody else, when in reality everyone is average and we are only noticing those on the top

Social media makes it even worse.
Because one gets the top guys and women shoved in one's face all the time.

 

[Deleted member 10330]

Is it

1. Thinking you are better than everyone? (Narcissists and sociopaths truly think this and they are extremely confident & charismatic)

2. Believe you are no better and no less than anyone and everyone around you. Ie. that everyone is equal

Redditors always say that it’s number 2 but sounds like bluepill cope to me.
When I am talking to someone I mog either looks wise or status wise, I’m confident and even somewhat charismatic. Whereas when I am talking to a Chad/Stacy I am definitely more inhibited.

thoughts? And what’s the blackpilled take on this?

Well I believe im better then 99% of people I see but still mentalcel and hate really loud people. Option 3 for me