M
macbookpro_2015
Silver
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2026
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I feel like I can’t be myself, I can’t think straight, and I have to live out a super tight script because I feel like I’m going to hurt their feelings and make them explode and they’re always watching me down to the last micro-gesture and they’re going to pin me as a horrible person and that’s all I’ll ever be to them. And then I feel like I have to do their bidding and swallow their shit because they say that other POC are just as bad or worse than white people and are complicit in white supremacy. The worst thing about all of this is that the discomfort mainly comes from feeling like black people are ugly and primitive so I’m forced to accept how shallow and racist I am on top of everything else. It’s so embarrassing and emasculating to feel this way and the whole dynamic makes me feel like someone’s pet or like someone’s stripping me naked and ripped my balls off in the middle of the street. Even the women are so fucking emasculating. I know it sounds pathetic to you guys and if you’re black maybe it makes you feel alpha but I don’t who else to say this to. I know it’s not just me.
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