Why BDSM work so well with women

[Deleted member 11604]

I'm not a practicioner of BDSM, but I like the concept of being able to hold a woman accountable for her actions using the reward/punishment principle. To be honest, women like this concept too. This is why women don't like nice guys. They don't punish her for bad behavior, only focus on rewarding her because they like her.

The movie 50 Shades of Grey is popular because women have fantasies of men dominating them and holding them accountable for their actions. I watched a video on BDSM because I was curious. One of the things they say is you can't expect a woman to submit to you because you're a man. You have to be worthy of submission.

By the way, submission is not about being defeated or losing. It's about relinquishing control. This is why a lot of women are miserable because they are control freaks, but that's because they aren't around men who are worthy of submission. However, they have been taught that being "in control" is girl power.

True girl power is like telekinesis. You want something and it moves without you having to even lift a finger. Being highly submissive and feminine IS girl power. These types of women usually ask men for something and men are willing to do it for them. Not because they're weak men, but because men feel better about helping women who act feminine and submissive.
On a non-sexual note, when a man sees a little girl crying because she is lost, he goes into protective mode and problem-solving mode instantly. He tries to help the little girl find her parents.

If a woman submits to the wrong man, her life will be turned upside down and inside out. If he's weak or lacks experience with women, he will end up leading her down the wrong path. When a man understands that he needs to be the leader of the relationship, he will focus on being a better leader. He will focus on being a stronger leader. He doesn't want to control her. That's time-consuming. He wants her to have the free will to make her own decisions, but those decisions won't get her into trouble or lead her to putting herself in situations where she is more inclined to cheat.

In a Dom/sub relationship, when the man is the Dom, he MUST be a good Dom because the woman will look for a man who isn't submissive... that's her role. This is true in non-Dom/sub relationships too, but women makes excuses for them leaving the man.
"I need a man who will challenge me" aka "I need a man who will check me anytime I step outta line"
"We lost that passion we had" aka "You don't dominate me in the bedroom anymore" or "You don't make me want to submit to you once I got to know you"

mistake that men make is they let a woman's femininity and submission soften them up. So you reward the good behavior, but you get soft in the process. When a woman is submissive and feminine, the goal is to keep her that way when she's dealing with you. So, you need to reward the good behavior, but it has to strengthen you. You need the mindset of:

"She's being submissive and feminine and I love that. This is my cue to maintain my masculine dominance to keep things this way."
When a man is dominant and masculine, women will naturally gravitate towards him. The more he practices being dominant with women, the easier it become for him. When he starts out, he's like Joffrey from the show Game Of Thrones... a brat with power. He expects women to submit to him because he learned that women are suppose to submit to men. Once he has guidance and learns how to become worthy of submission, women will start submitting to him at a higher rate. Once he learns how to dominate women and lead them to the point that
the women feel compelled to stay submissive towards him, this will have a multiplier effect.

When women see that a man has control and dominance in his relationship, she's not turned off, she's turn on. Most women attract men who jump through hoops for them because they want to gain her validation. When a man isn't looking for her validation, but her submission, she will test him to see if he's like the others. When that man checks her for testing his authority, she needs to wring her panties out once he leaves.

 

[PenileFacialSurgery]

Wall of mentally deranged Autism.

 

[SubhumanCurrycel]

Wall of mentally deranged Autism.

Wall of dnrd for me ngl
Headings and paragraphs not even once

 

[Deleted member 11604]

Wall of dnrd for me ngl
Headings and paragraphs not even once

edited.

Wall of mentally deranged Autism.

kys

 

[.👽.]

Sounds correct but the question is how to be dominant without beeing toxic.

 

[Deleted member 11604]

Sounds correct but the question is how to be dominant without beeing toxic.

being dominant and toxic are pretty much similar imo.
the only difference is that the woman apreciate and respect the dominance of the first one, and the toxic one is selfish and don't respect the girls boundaries.

to be dominant without being toxic, just don't be obsessional and show her that you've others options.

 

[Deleted member 439]

making your text big doesnt make it less shit

 

[.👽.]

being dominant and toxic are pretty much similar imo.
the only difference is that the woman apreciate and respect the dominance of the first one, and the toxic one is selfish and don't respect the girls boundaries.

to be dominant without being toxic, just don't be obsessional and show her that you've others options.

F.e. i had a girl who was very sub and wanted a dom man. Idk when we went out i gave her Orders like pay this meal for me or before we met i said "come to this street now". I dont think this is dominant, just toxic.

 

[Deleted member 11604]

F.e. i had a girl who was very sub and wanted a dom man. Idk when we went out i gave her Orders like pay this meal for me or before we met i said "come to this street now". I dont think this is dominant, just toxic.

being dominant is not giving orders like that, being dominant is a mood, you have to make her respect you, being a leader and not a weak beta like she's used to.
by this way your masculinity and dominance will make her submissive and feminine nature pop out. you have to make decision for her, punish her (not phisically), and reward her when needed.


treating her like that imo is just being a douch, and toxic, did she liked that just curious?

 

[.👽.]

being dominant is not giving orders like that, being dominant is a mood, you have to make her respect you, being a leader and not a weak beta like she's used to.
by this way your masculinity and dominance will make her submissive and feminine nature pop out. you have to make decision for her, punish her (not phisically), and reward her when needed.


treating her like that imo is just being a douch, and toxic, did she liked that just curious?

No she said "why u talk to me like that"

Ok i see. I dont take shit from women and yea they know i can get other girls hmm but need to learn this shit. Problem is, while interacting with them im always in my head and i think "what should i do to be dominant".. thats fucked up

 

[Deleted member 11748]

cool but what am I actually supposed to do

 

[Mongrelcel]

you said a lot of words, but didnt really say anything.

to have a women submit to you, you must be above her in all aspects of life. 99% of men arent that, so they wont be able to be dominant.

 

[Deleted member 439]

you said a lot of words, but didnt really say anything.

to have a women submit to you, you must be above her in all aspects of life. 99% of men arent that, so they wont be able to be dominant.

In my experience this isnt the case.
Some woman want to be submissive so they will find someone who is atleast slightly dominant (since its better than nothing). Lots of times these girls have severe mental issues are cant function without structure and being told what to do. However If this is the case u are just a temporary place holder for a fucked up girl who will replace you as soon as she found u.

 

[Cigarette]

no shit

 

[Mongrelcel]

In my experience this isnt the case.
Some woman want to be submissive so they will find someone who is atleast slightly dominant (since its better than nothing). Lots of times these girls have severe mental issues are cant function without structure and being told what to do. However If this is the case u are just a temporary place holder for a fucked up girl who will replace you as soon as she found u.

I dont think that I would have problems being dominant, but a woman would never submit to me because Im ugly short and a loser

 

[Deleted member 11604]

you said a lot of words, but didnt really say anything.

to have a women submit to you, you must be above her in all aspects of life. 99% of men arent that, so they wont be able to be dominant.

cool but what am I actually supposed to do

there are ton of red pill ressources to become a dominant man tbh, I can't do all the work for you.
but to summarise.
-hold frame
-handle shitpost
-show that you have options and you don't need her as much as she need you.
-don't be jalous or weak (not too much)
and be masculine in general

BRUTAL TRUTH about FOID NATURE, Love & Relationships... Looks DONT Save a SIMP Chad +FAMOUS EXAMPLES

Long Thread: TLDR= If you give too much attention, give her power in relationship, and be Simp, it’s over even if you’re CHAD. You’re getting CUCKED, cope with being a PSL 9 God. Sad how a girl you once really liked, treated decently, gave some attention to... but who never really reciprocated...

looksmax.org

this thread from @PenileFacialSurgery show you some pists.

I dont think that I would have problems being dominant, but a woman would never submit to me because Im ugly short and a loser

I forget to mention that you need to be at least 5,5/10 in all other aspects, i tought everybody here wold have undestand it since we're all blackpilled.

 

[Deleted member 439]

I dont think that I would have problems being dominant, but a woman would never submit to me because Im ugly short and a loser

Dominance is just like confidence; It only works if you have some combination of height+face+SMV. Acting dominant while being ugly is just seen as a projection of insecurity imo. you still need to be "slightly dominant", which is pretty hard considered how inflated girls SMVs are. Id say at least average height and face is needed even for a fucked up girl.

 

[Mongrelcel]

-hold frame
-handle shitpost
-show that you have options and you don't need her as much as she need you.
-don't be jalous or weak (not too much)
and be masculine in general

all these fucking things are just a side effect of being chad JFL

youre out here preaching something that everyone already knows, but cant do because were not chads

 

[Mongrelcel]

Dominance is just like confidence; It only works if you have some combination of height+face+SMV. Acting dominant while being ugly is just seen as a projection of insecurity imo. you still need to be "slightly dominant", which is pretty hard considered how inflated girls SMVs are. Id say at least average height and face is needed even for a fucked up girl.

the strong dominate the weak

water

you just rephrased what I said

 

[Deleted member 11604]

all these fucking things are just a side effect of being chad JFL

youre out here preaching something that everyone already knows, but cant do because were not chads

you don't need to be chad, just decent, a woman won't submit to a subhuman, but as I said, in the relationship looks matter but the way you treat her matter as much after you settle down.
a simp chad, would get a less fullfilled relationship than a dominant normie HTN imo.

 

[Deleted member 439]

you just rephrased what I said

That was my intention, I agree with you. I thought you misinterpreted my original comment and thought I said everyone can be dominant and tried to rebuttle it saying you couldnt dominant someone.

 

[lutte]

Tagging @copingvolcel the BDSM expert


I am very knowledgeable about the bdsm community because I have done a lot of research on the topic. Some could think that I am talking about porn, but no, I read about a lot of blogs because I was interested about finding women who were interested in bdsm type stuff and I found that it is actually possible to be in such a relationship.

Most women will not be okay with doing more than light bdsm stuff with handcuffs, and that is because the vast majority of women are vanilla (complete outsiders of the bdsm community and want no part in it), but there are also a lot of women who not only are okay with bdsm but also crave it, and the best way to find these women is through bdsm meetups which you can find by searching through specific websites.

BDSM dating sites tend to be a scam most of the time, but sites like Fetlife can help you find what the bdsm community calls "munches", they are like brunch type events where you eat with a group of people and talk like in any other event, they are not sexual at all, but the purpose of those events is to meet women who are into the same stuff as you and you are more likely to find them there than at any other event. If you're a male dom, finding a sub should be really easy, especially if you're gymmaxxed, but if you're a male sub, it will be really difficult because most women are subs.

However, the most important thing you must keep in mind is that bdsm is all make believe, and unless you plan on being in a 24/7 bdsm relationship, then it's going to shift between real world life and bdsm scenes. And like in any other relationship, it's not going to be about just your needs but hers also, so unless you meet a girl who has the exact same fetishes as you, you're going to have to do scenes that you may not be fully into.


If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

 

[Deleted member 439]

Tagging @copingvolcel the BDSM expert

has he ever been with a girl or is this all coming from his aspie research

 

[Mongrelcel]

Tagging @copingvolcel the BDSM expert


I am very knowledgeable about the bdsm community because I have done a lot of research on the topic. Some could think that I am talking about porn, but no, I read about a lot of blogs because I was interested about finding women who were interested in bdsm type stuff and I found that it is actually possible to be in such a relationship.

Most women will not be okay with doing more than light bdsm stuff with handcuffs, and that is because the vast majority of women are vanilla (complete outsiders of the bdsm community and want no part in it), but there are also a lot of women who not only are okay with bdsm but also crave it, and the best way to find these women is through bdsm meetups which you can find by searching through specific websites.

BDSM dating sites tend to be a scam most of the time, but sites like Fetlife can help you find what the bdsm community calls "munches", they are like brunch type events where you eat with a group of people and talk like in any other event, they are not sexual at all, but the purpose of those events is to meet women who are into the same stuff as you and you are more likely to find them there than at any other event. If you're a male dom, finding a sub should be really easy, especially if you're gymmaxxed, but if you're a male sub, it will be really difficult because most women are subs.

However, the most important thing you must keep in mind is that bdsm is all make believe, and unless you plan on being in a 24/7 bdsm relationship, then it's going to shift between real world life and bdsm scenes. And like in any other relationship, it's not going to be about just your needs but hers also, so unless you meet a girl who has the exact same fetishes as you, you're going to have to do scenes that you may not be fully into.


If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

This is about BDSM explicitly - in the bedroom
But OPs post is more about the behaviour outside the bedroom, the way you and she acts all the time

 

[Deleted member 11748]

Tagging @copingvolcel the BDSM expert


I am very knowledgeable about the bdsm community because I have done a lot of research on the topic. Some could think that I am talking about porn, but no, I read about a lot of blogs because I was interested about finding women who were interested in bdsm type stuff and I found that it is actually possible to be in such a relationship.

Most women will not be okay with doing more than light bdsm stuff with handcuffs, and that is because the vast majority of women are vanilla (complete outsiders of the bdsm community and want no part in it), but there are also a lot of women who not only are okay with bdsm but also crave it, and the best way to find these women is through bdsm meetups which you can find by searching through specific websites.

BDSM dating sites tend to be a scam most of the time, but sites like Fetlife can help you find what the bdsm community calls "munches", they are like brunch type events where you eat with a group of people and talk like in any other event, they are not sexual at all, but the purpose of those events is to meet women who are into the same stuff as you and you are more likely to find them there than at any other event. If you're a male dom, finding a sub should be really easy, especially if you're gymmaxxed, but if you're a male sub, it will be really difficult because most women are subs.

However, the most important thing you must keep in mind is that bdsm is all make believe, and unless you plan on being in a 24/7 bdsm relationship, then it's going to shift between real world life and bdsm scenes. And like in any other relationship, it's not going to be about just your needs but hers also, so unless you meet a girl who has the exact same fetishes as you, you're going to have to do scenes that you may not be fully into.


If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

funny

 

[one job away]

No she said "why u talk to me like that"

Ok i see. I dont take shit from women and yea they know i can get other girls hmm but need to learn this shit. Problem is, while interacting with them im always in my head and i think "what should i do to be dominant".. thats fucked up

amen.i guess you need to see it as a pack of wolf type of shit. like...respect your bros. respect her. respect anyone that deserves it. pack comes first. but dont let them step over you. have your opinion but dont be toxic about them. the rest will fall into place. ot can be different for anybody. some.hippies are mindset Chad's and some buisness man are mindless betas

 

[AutisticBeaner]

being dominant and toxic are pretty much similar imo.
the only difference is that the woman apreciate and respect the dominance of the first one, and the toxic one is selfish and don't respect the girls boundaries.

to be dominant without being toxic, just don't be obsessional and show her that you've others options.

no they're completely different things

 

[Deleted member 11604]

Tagging @copingvolcel the BDSM expert


I am very knowledgeable about the bdsm community because I have done a lot of research on the topic. Some could think that I am talking about porn, but no, I read about a lot of blogs because I was interested about finding women who were interested in bdsm type stuff and I found that it is actually possible to be in such a relationship.

Most women will not be okay with doing more than light bdsm stuff with handcuffs, and that is because the vast majority of women are vanilla (complete outsiders of the bdsm community and want no part in it), but there are also a lot of women who not only are okay with bdsm but also crave it, and the best way to find these women is through bdsm meetups which you can find by searching through specific websites.

BDSM dating sites tend to be a scam most of the time, but sites like Fetlife can help you find what the bdsm community calls "munches", they are like brunch type events where you eat with a group of people and talk like in any other event, they are not sexual at all, but the purpose of those events is to meet women who are into the same stuff as you and you are more likely to find them there than at any other event. If you're a male dom, finding a sub should be really easy, especially if you're gymmaxxed, but if you're a male sub, it will be really difficult because most women are subs.

However, the most important thing you must keep in mind is that bdsm is all make believe, and unless you plan on being in a 24/7 bdsm relationship, then it's going to shift between real world life and bdsm scenes. And like in any other relationship, it's not going to be about just your needs but hers also, so unless you meet a girl who has the exact same fetishes as you, you're going to have to do scenes that you may not be fully into.


If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

I heard abt this community, but in my opinion there are a lot of dom men but only few sub females.
Soo i think the repartition should be like that 50% of dom men 10% sub males, 30% of sub women and 10% dom women.
I think there is more men than women there; What do you think?

 

[Deleted member 9217]

0

 

[Deleted member 4106]

You are right, but the woman needs to want to be submissive to you, that's where looks come in.
Being tall, dymorphism, deep voice, good frame.

 

[randomuser2407]

has he ever been with a girl or is this all coming from his aspie research

No, most of it comes from porn that I've seen. However, what I have realized recently is that you can have weird fetishes just because of porn that you never want to do in real life because porn is different from real life. I am an expert on bdsm porn, not bdsm in real life, that's what I was trying to say. So, I know a lot about how to do it but I've never actually done it because, as I said before, I am a 22 year old virgin, like the supreme gentleman was when he died, in fact, I almost have the exact same age that he had when he died since I am also 2 months away from my birthday.

 

[Deleted member 11604]

No, most of it comes from porn that I've seen. However, what I have realized recently is that you can have weird fetishes just because of porn that you never want to do in real life because porn is different from real life. I am an expert on bdsm porn, not bdsm in real life, that's what I was trying to say. So, I know a lot about how to do it but I've never actually done it because, as I said before, I am a 22 year old virgin, like the supreme gentleman was when he died, in fact, I almost have the exact same age that he had when he died since I am also 2 months away from my birthday.

how do you know you wouldnt like bdsm irl, if you've never experienced it?
most of the people who like something in porn IMo would also like it IRL, it's just because they are effrayed of trying it. Just like women who fantasize of rape and degrading sex, but are too much delusional, and coping about that they would'nt like it IRL.
get a hooker bro btw, take the total, masturbation, anal, gfe, rimming, pegplay everything you want. even if it cost you 1k, you will never forget your first time. Don't wait too much you'll regret it.

 

[randomuser2407]

I heard abt this community, but in my opinion there are a lot of dom men but only few sub females.
Soo i think the repartition should be like that 50% of dom men 10% sub males, 30% of sub women and 10% dom women.
I think there is more men than women there; What do you think?

No, actually, the vast majority of men are subs in the bdsm community, that is why female domination (aka femdom) is so popular nowadays. And the vast majority of women are subs in the bdsm community so it's not easy for them to find a lot of men who want to dominate them, in fact, it is one of the things that women often complain about, that their partner doesn't want to dominate them sexually.

Of course, no matter if you are a sub or a dom, your SMV is the main thing that will determine if you can find a bdsm partner or not. A lot of fat men are into bdsm stuff but because most women don't want them, they never manage to find what they're looking for.

However, you don't have to be a perfect 10/10 Chad supermodel to get a bdsm partner, you just have to be above average (good physique, good career, decent looks, and an above average personality/lifestyle) and you'll find what you're looking for if you look in the right places.

The best way to find women interested in bdsm is to go on sites like fetlife and find munches near you. A munch is like a brunch but instead of being with just 1 girl, you're in a group of people, all of whom are into some aspects of bdsm, and it's not a play party. In other words, people go there to meet new people who like bdsm, not to do scenes together or get laid, it is a good place to get a girlfriend or fuckbuddy who likes bdsm though.

Like I said, I have zero experience but I know how to get into the bdsm scene very easily, and I know most of the details of how it works, how to do it in a consensual way to not get in trouble with the law, and so on. BDSM is a fantasy, not a lifestyle, in other words, even if you find the woman you want, she will not be your slave 24/7, you'll do scenes where you act like you have power over her, it's all make believe.

24/7 relationships do exist but they are rare and most people don't want to do that, and most of those who do it end up getting bored eventually because you can't maintain a sexual fantasy for an infinite amount of time.

Also, there is a difference between dominating women sexually and dominating women for real. A bdsm relationship is not the same as a male led relationship. Getting a male led relationship is much more difficult, even if you're good looking, because most women nowadays don't want somebody to control their life, they only want a guy to dominate them in the bedroom. In most normal relationships, men dominate in the bedroom but women dominate outside the bedroom to a certain extent.

 

[randomuser2407]

how do you know you wouldnt like bdsm irl, if you've never experienced it?
most of the people who like something in porn IMo would also like it IRL, it's just because they are effrayed of trying it. Just like women who fantasize of rape and degrading sex, but are too much delusional, and coping about that they would'nt like it IRL.
get a hooker bro btw, take the total, masturbation, anal, gfe, rimming, pegplay everything you want. even if it cost you 1k, you will never forget your first time. Don't wait too much you'll regret it.

I mean that there is a difference between a fantasy and the real world. Just like there is a difference between doing bdsm scenes and dominating or submitting to another person for real.

BDSM is make-believe, so you do scenes where you pretend to dominate or submit in various ways, depending on what you're into, you have safewords to pause or end the scene and then, when the scene is finished, the relationship itself is going to be the same as everybody else. So, relationship with bdsm is essentially just the same as one without but with added make-believe scenes on some days.

On the other hand, there is genuine domination and submission outside of the bdsm community, those are male or female led relationships, that is when one partner completely submits to another and lets the other one dominate them. Unlike what most normies believe, this is NOT what BDSM is, because relationships like that can be done either with or without bdsm, and unlike bdsm scenes, this is NOT make-believe, so the dynamic of domination and submission is there 24/7, one person is giving all their time to the other and focusing on that person's needs fully while the other remains completely selfish the whole time and just enjoys it without giving much in return.

My point was that porn can push you to a point where you fantasize about bdsm or male/female led relationships but when you try to do it in real life, you regret it deeply, simply because it's not what you imagined it would be. When you fantasize, your only limit is your imagination but in the real world, you are limited by what you or the other person want and need but you don't realize that when trying to make your fantasy into a reality because you are blinded by your libido, which makes you take bad decisions. I'm not saying that I made that mistake but for so many times, I was extremely close to doing so. I think that a lack of experience with women can drive men to do very stupid things based on what they saw in porn, at least that is my theory.

The aspect of BDSM that I fantasized about the most was not even the gear that they use, but the domination and submission in itself, but what I didn't realize is that a healthy relationship HAS to be about equality because if it's not, one person will be manipulated and see their needs being neglected while the other person has all their needs fulfilled and doesn't actually respect the submissive.

 

[Deleted member 11604]

No, actually, the vast majority of men are subs in the bdsm community, that is why female domination (aka femdom) is so popular nowadays. And the vast majority of women are subs in the bdsm community so it's not easy for them to find a lot of men who want to dominate them, in fact, it is one of the things that women often complain about, that their partner doesn't want to dominate them sexually.

Of course, no matter if you are a sub or a dom, your SMV is the main thing that will determine if you can find a bdsm partner or not. A lot of fat men are into bdsm stuff but because most women don't want them, they never manage to find what they're looking for.

However, you don't have to be a perfect 10/10 Chad supermodel to get a bdsm partner, you just have to be above average (good physique, good career, decent looks, and an above average personality/lifestyle) and you'll find what you're looking for if you look in the right places.

The best way to find women interested in bdsm is to go on sites like fetlife and find munches near you. A munch is like a brunch but instead of being with just 1 girl, you're in a group of people, all of whom are into some aspects of bdsm, and it's not a play party. In other words, people go there to meet new people who like bdsm, not to do scenes together or get laid, it is a good place to get a girlfriend or fuckbuddy who likes bdsm though.

Like I said, I have zero experience but I know how to get into the bdsm scene very easily, and I know most of the details of how it works, how to do it in a consensual way to not get in trouble with the law, and so on. BDSM is a fantasy, not a lifestyle, in other words, even if you find the woman you want, she will not be your slave 24/7, you'll do scenes where you act like you have power over her, it's all make believe.

24/7 relationships do exist but they are rare and most people don't want to do that, and most of those who do it end up getting bored eventually because you can't maintain a sexual fantasy for an infinite amount of time.

Also, there is a difference between dominating women sexually and dominating women for real. A bdsm relationship is not the same as a male led relationship. Getting a male led relationship is much more difficult, even if you're good looking, because most women nowadays don't want somebody to control their life, they only want a guy to dominate them in the bedroom. In most normal relationships, men dominate in the bedroom but women dominate outside the bedroom to a certain extent.

thanks for eclairing my view, If there is that much needy sub women, It's lifefuel for the whole forum tbh.
I think the majority here would prefer to be dom rather than sub.
But It's quite strange tho, much dating app are filled by thirsty standard male., with regular taste, who would prefer to be dom.

I mean that there is a difference between a fantasy and the real world. Just like there is a difference between doing bdsm scenes and dominating or submitting to another person for real.

BDSM is make-believe, so you do scenes where you pretend to dominate or submit in various ways, depending on what you're into, you have safewords to pause or end the scene and then, when the scene is finished, the relationship itself is going to be the same as everybody else. So, relationship with bdsm is essentially just the same as one without but with added make-believe scenes on some days.

On the other hand, there is genuine domination and submission outside of the bdsm community, those are male or female led relationships, that is when one partner completely submits to another and lets the other one dominate them. Unlike what most normies believe, this is NOT what BDSM is, because relationships like that can be done either with or without bdsm, and unlike bdsm scenes, this is NOT make-believe, so the dynamic of domination and submission is there 24/7, one person is giving all their time to the other and focusing on that person's needs fully while the other remains completely selfish the whole time and just enjoys it without giving much in return.

My point was that porn can push you to a point where you fantasize about bdsm or male/female led relationships but when you try to do it in real life, you regret it deeply, simply because it's not what you imagined it would be. When you fantasize, your only limit is your imagination but in the real world, you are limited by what you or the other person want and need but you don't realize that when trying to make your fantasy into a reality because you are blinded by your libido, which makes you take bad decisions. I'm not saying that I made that mistake but for so many times, I was extremely close to doing so. I think that a lack of experience with women can drive men to do very stupid things based on what they saw in porn, at least that is my theory.

The aspect of BDSM that I fantasized about the most was not even the gear that they use, but the domination and submission in itself, but what I didn't realize is that a healthy relationship HAS to be about equality because if it's not, one person will be manipulated and see their needs being neglected while the other person has all their needs fulfilled and doesn't actually respect the submissive.

mostly agree with you except the last part

The aspect of BDSM that I fantasized about the most was not even the gear that they use, but the domination and submission in itself, but what I didn't realize is that a healthy relationship HAS to be about equality because if it's not, one person will be manipulated and see their needs being neglected while the other person has all their needs fulfilled and doesn't actually respect the submissive.

A healty relationship with a man and a woman cannot be made with a submissive man, or a dominant woman.
The more power the man has in the relationship, the longer the relationship lasts and the more power the woman has, the unhappier the relationship.

That's basic redpill knoweldge, It's what I was talking about in my thread.

btw dude, If I ever need any advice on BDSM or some kink like that, I will tag you be sure of it.
[automerge]1618433414[/automerge]

No, actually, the vast majority of men are subs in the bdsm community, that is why female domination (aka femdom) is so popular nowadays. And the vast majority of women are subs in the bdsm community so it's not easy for them to find a lot of men who want to dominate them, in fact, it is one of the things that women often complain about, that their partner doesn't want to dominate them sexually.

Of course, no matter if you are a sub or a dom, your SMV is the main thing that will determine if you can find a bdsm partner or not. A lot of fat men are into bdsm stuff but because most women don't want them, they never manage to find what they're looking for.

However, you don't have to be a perfect 10/10 Chad supermodel to get a bdsm partner, you just have to be above average (good physique, good career, decent looks, and an above average personality/lifestyle) and you'll find what you're looking for if you look in the right places.

The best way to find women interested in bdsm is to go on sites like fetlife and find munches near you. A munch is like a brunch but instead of being with just 1 girl, you're in a group of people, all of whom are into some aspects of bdsm, and it's not a play party. In other words, people go there to meet new people who like bdsm, not to do scenes together or get laid, it is a good place to get a girlfriend or fuckbuddy who likes bdsm though.

Like I said, I have zero experience but I know how to get into the bdsm scene very easily, and I know most of the details of how it works, how to do it in a consensual way to not get in trouble with the law, and so on. BDSM is a fantasy, not a lifestyle, in other words, even if you find the woman you want, she will not be your slave 24/7, you'll do scenes where you act like you have power over her, it's all make believe.

24/7 relationships do exist but they are rare and most people don't want to do that, and most of those who do it end up getting bored eventually because you can't maintain a sexual fantasy for an infinite amount of time.

Also, there is a difference between dominating women sexually and dominating women for real. A bdsm relationship is not the same as a male led relationship. Getting a male led relationship is much more difficult, even if you're good looking, because most women nowadays don't want somebody to control their life, they only want a guy to dominate them in the bedroom. In most normal relationships, men dominate in the bedroom but women dominate outside the bedroom to a certain extent.

thanks for eclairing my view, If there is that much needy sub women, It's lifefuel for the whole forum tbh.
I think the majority here would prefer to be dom rather than sub.
But It's quite strange tho, much dating app are filled by thirsty standard male., with regular taste, who would prefer to be dom.

I mean that there is a difference between a fantasy and the real world. Just like there is a difference between doing bdsm scenes and dominating or submitting to another person for real.

BDSM is make-believe, so you do scenes where you pretend to dominate or submit in various ways, depending on what you're into, you have safewords to pause or end the scene and then, when the scene is finished, the relationship itself is going to be the same as everybody else. So, relationship with bdsm is essentially just the same as one without but with added make-believe scenes on some days.

On the other hand, there is genuine domination and submission outside of the bdsm community, those are male or female led relationships, that is when one partner completely submits to another and lets the other one dominate them. Unlike what most normies believe, this is NOT what BDSM is, because relationships like that can be done either with or without bdsm, and unlike bdsm scenes, this is NOT make-believe, so the dynamic of domination and submission is there 24/7, one person is giving all their time to the other and focusing on that person's needs fully while the other remains completely selfish the whole time and just enjoys it without giving much in return.

My point was that porn can push you to a point where you fantasize about bdsm or male/female led relationships but when you try to do it in real life, you regret it deeply, simply because it's not what you imagined it would be. When you fantasize, your only limit is your imagination but in the real world, you are limited by what you or the other person want and need but you don't realize that when trying to make your fantasy into a reality because you are blinded by your libido, which makes you take bad decisions. I'm not saying that I made that mistake but for so many times, I was extremely close to doing so. I think that a lack of experience with women can drive men to do very stupid things based on what they saw in porn, at least that is my theory.

The aspect of BDSM that I fantasized about the most was not even the gear that they use, but the domination and submission in itself, but what I didn't realize is that a healthy relationship HAS to be about equality because if it's not, one person will be manipulated and see their needs being neglected while the other person has all their needs fulfilled and doesn't actually respect the submissive.

mostly agree with you except the last part

The aspect of BDSM that I fantasized about the most was not even the gear that they use, but the domination and submission in itself, but what I didn't realize is that a healthy relationship HAS to be about equality because if it's not, one person will be manipulated and see their needs being neglected while the other person has all their needs fulfilled and doesn't actually respect the submissive.

A healty relationship with a man and a woman cannot be made with a submissive man, or a dominant woman.
The more power the man has in the relationship, the longer the relationship lasts and the more power the woman has, the unhappier the relationship.

That's basic redpill knoweldge, It's what I was talking about in my thread.

btw dude, If I ever need any advice on BDSM or some kink like that, I will tag you be sure of it.

 

[DrTony]

This forum is officially redpilled. I am out

 

[Deleted member 12611]

You said a whole lot of nothing in that huge post.

 

[Callooh_Calais]

Sounds correct but the question is how to be dominant without beeing toxic.

By just being yourself, if "yourself" is a reasonable man who has basic sense od decency and morality.

Most women don't want an asshole man, they just want an assertive, dominant one, and those men just happen to be assholes more often than not (women can always smell the fake doms trying to fraud their way into paternity/ securing a genetic legacy). If you are a kind-hearted man who isn't afraid to punish a woman like a naughty child, you'll maintain your dominant persona in the eyes of your woman

 

[Spîke]

No bdsm for inceldom

 

[Lihito]

You are right, but the woman needs to want to be submissive to you, that's where looks come in.
Being tall, dymorphism, deep voice, good frame.

ooohhh so thats why prettyboys and neotenous tallfags dont Cuddle thier GF. She just uses them as emotional tampon.
Legit