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Deleted member 11126
Kraken
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Studies have shown extreme rejection or feelings of alienation are about as painful as getting punched in the face.
To understand why loneliness hurts so much you first have to realize why normal people feel it at all.
Why does loneliness exist at all?
Loneliness exists for a very good reason humans have always required tribes to survive this idea of a sigma male is pure cope. Pre agriculture your tribe was what kept you alive 100 people you knew. If your tribe abandoned you it meant certain death. Then when we got to more complex societies with agriculture it was still important those who were rejected would get hung or be socially shunned and not find work.
What does all this stuff mean?
This all means when you feel lonely your brain associates it with the stress level of being on the brink of death. If you felt super alienated or lonely in the past it was a sign that you were close to death. These levels of stress kill you long term stress in the short term can be very useful to get things done but when you have stress everyday you begin to develop very bad problems. If you are very lonely your brain will constantly think you are dying this feeling of loneliness is the same as feeling hungry or pain your body associates this with you being in a critically bad situation.
How to stop loneliness?
There is no easy way to do it but the best way is to form an artificial group humans evolved in tribes that were required for us to survive. Nowadays we theoretically need no one. Even though obviously you depend on people to make your food run the factories power your house you never interact with any of these people on a tangible level. In the past you knew the guy who made your food (local baker) you had the blacksmith the local craftsman ect. So the only solution is to replicate this you need to have a group of men or friends in your life with similar goals. Having 5-10 friends you have goals together with. I have a friend I lift with I have friends I discuss money with friends I speak to for intellectual stimulation it just matters you guys have a common goal or interest.
What does this mean for society long term?
Loneliness no longer serves a great role anymore. But most people will still feel it this is going to lead to very bad levels of depression as more and more people have meaningless or no relationships at all. This is also why sociopaths and autistic people do so well today they don't need bonds the same way in the past this would have gotten them ostracized or locked up but in the modern age being able to sit at a computer 10 hours a day with no interaction or being able to have no empathy at all is superior. It will take a while for these genes to catch up but I think assuming industrialized society does not fail in 3 centuries sociopathy/autism will be very common traits. Loneliness today is usually a very negative trait because by the nature of an increasingly abstracted society relationships become meaningless. In the past your relationship with your food was the local baker and Deli man. Now you have multinational companies with thousands of employees working to give you one food product so you have no personal connection to these processes. We will also probably see an increase in cults and weird ideologies for acceptance.
Stuff like trans people or LGBT are becoming so popular in young people and its telling that humans yearn for acceptance so much that they will mutilate themselves and go on hormones just to be apart of an accepting community. I don't really see how this will improve all you can do is form your own tribes or try to become a sociopath and disregard human connections.
To understand why loneliness hurts so much you first have to realize why normal people feel it at all.
Why does loneliness exist at all?
Loneliness exists for a very good reason humans have always required tribes to survive this idea of a sigma male is pure cope. Pre agriculture your tribe was what kept you alive 100 people you knew. If your tribe abandoned you it meant certain death. Then when we got to more complex societies with agriculture it was still important those who were rejected would get hung or be socially shunned and not find work.
What does all this stuff mean?
This all means when you feel lonely your brain associates it with the stress level of being on the brink of death. If you felt super alienated or lonely in the past it was a sign that you were close to death. These levels of stress kill you long term stress in the short term can be very useful to get things done but when you have stress everyday you begin to develop very bad problems. If you are very lonely your brain will constantly think you are dying this feeling of loneliness is the same as feeling hungry or pain your body associates this with you being in a critically bad situation.
How to stop loneliness?
There is no easy way to do it but the best way is to form an artificial group humans evolved in tribes that were required for us to survive. Nowadays we theoretically need no one. Even though obviously you depend on people to make your food run the factories power your house you never interact with any of these people on a tangible level. In the past you knew the guy who made your food (local baker) you had the blacksmith the local craftsman ect. So the only solution is to replicate this you need to have a group of men or friends in your life with similar goals. Having 5-10 friends you have goals together with. I have a friend I lift with I have friends I discuss money with friends I speak to for intellectual stimulation it just matters you guys have a common goal or interest.
What does this mean for society long term?
Loneliness no longer serves a great role anymore. But most people will still feel it this is going to lead to very bad levels of depression as more and more people have meaningless or no relationships at all. This is also why sociopaths and autistic people do so well today they don't need bonds the same way in the past this would have gotten them ostracized or locked up but in the modern age being able to sit at a computer 10 hours a day with no interaction or being able to have no empathy at all is superior. It will take a while for these genes to catch up but I think assuming industrialized society does not fail in 3 centuries sociopathy/autism will be very common traits. Loneliness today is usually a very negative trait because by the nature of an increasingly abstracted society relationships become meaningless. In the past your relationship with your food was the local baker and Deli man. Now you have multinational companies with thousands of employees working to give you one food product so you have no personal connection to these processes. We will also probably see an increase in cults and weird ideologies for acceptance.
Stuff like trans people or LGBT are becoming so popular in young people and its telling that humans yearn for acceptance so much that they will mutilate themselves and go on hormones just to be apart of an accepting community. I don't really see how this will improve all you can do is form your own tribes or try to become a sociopath and disregard human connections.
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