soulless_npc
angels & demons
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2023
- Posts
- 4,184
- Reputation
- 4,359
such that I can operate on a higher cognitive plane and can operate in accordance with my morals which encompass peace over violence, there is too much of that in this world, I feel surrounded by darkness
i see the face of failure in the mirror, the reflection of the only person in this life you cannot lie to, a sad parody of a person, a loser, a man who's bullshitted himself for a long time
demons have crawled up progressively over time into my blind spots, all that david goggins type shit is true because other men are capable of "taking your soul" and then you're fucked once it's in the demonic zone this time it's personal because it directly assaults your existence and character, the redemption arc must begin, the context must change and with that comes the actual satisfaction in life because you are "slaying" a demon....the other kind of slaying
my jing, chi, and shen are all out of wack and shit, i wasted so much willpower by making the choice someone else's other than my own and the very moment i ever stood in the burning room that is ones life and said "this is fine"
i will not be able to turn on tune in and drop out because I have been that wallflower who fears the dance of life for so long, I can no longer tolerate it already
how much more?
it is not over it is beginning, but for that I must go into the wild and unlearn what I have learned for my mind and soul have long since been corrupted, delete all social media and re establish a baseline locus of control
in the meantime I shall make an attempt to act with compassion toward those in whom I recognize myself as this site has shown me, my struggle is collective, it is universal, no one is cut from a different cloth
detoxxmaxx
i'll be back once I have at least made decent progress toward restoring balance to the force and can provide genuine inspiration. pfft like that's gonna ever happen LOL. but, if I cannot accept the chance of failure? what hope is there? to live a small, sad life of defeat? where is the spice? where is the come up? where is the story?
onward.
hasta luego
i see the face of failure in the mirror, the reflection of the only person in this life you cannot lie to, a sad parody of a person, a loser, a man who's bullshitted himself for a long time
demons have crawled up progressively over time into my blind spots, all that david goggins type shit is true because other men are capable of "taking your soul" and then you're fucked once it's in the demonic zone this time it's personal because it directly assaults your existence and character, the redemption arc must begin, the context must change and with that comes the actual satisfaction in life because you are "slaying" a demon....the other kind of slaying
my jing, chi, and shen are all out of wack and shit, i wasted so much willpower by making the choice someone else's other than my own and the very moment i ever stood in the burning room that is ones life and said "this is fine"
i will not be able to turn on tune in and drop out because I have been that wallflower who fears the dance of life for so long, I can no longer tolerate it already
how much more?
it is not over it is beginning, but for that I must go into the wild and unlearn what I have learned for my mind and soul have long since been corrupted, delete all social media and re establish a baseline locus of control
in the meantime I shall make an attempt to act with compassion toward those in whom I recognize myself as this site has shown me, my struggle is collective, it is universal, no one is cut from a different cloth
detoxxmaxx
i'll be back once I have at least made decent progress toward restoring balance to the force and can provide genuine inspiration. pfft like that's gonna ever happen LOL. but, if I cannot accept the chance of failure? what hope is there? to live a small, sad life of defeat? where is the spice? where is the come up? where is the story?
onward.
hasta luego
