
Ctrozo
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- Dec 12, 2024
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Psychologically, children who are never chosen or loved in a special way often grow up without the ability to love others.
Just like we recognize the taste of an apple only because we've eaten one before, a person who hasn't experienced real love can't truly understand or give it.
When they do encounter love later in life, two things usually happen.
First, they fear it. We learn to see the world through our environment. If someone grows up in a home where love is absent, that absence becomes their normal. So when real love shows up, it feels unnatural, suspicious even dangerous.
They think,
- Why are you being so nice to me?
- What do you want?
The more someone shows them love, the more they want to run away.
Second, they don't know how to love others. Love is learned through example. We love people the way we were loved. But if you've never been shown love, you don't have a template to follow.
Even if you want to love, it comes out wrong, either overwhelming and suffocating or cold and distant.
While others were growing, you were surviving. While others were building careers, you were learning how to rebuild yourself.
Some people start at ground level, you’re climbing from the bottom of a pit.
Just like we recognize the taste of an apple only because we've eaten one before, a person who hasn't experienced real love can't truly understand or give it.
When they do encounter love later in life, two things usually happen.
First, they fear it. We learn to see the world through our environment. If someone grows up in a home where love is absent, that absence becomes their normal. So when real love shows up, it feels unnatural, suspicious even dangerous.
They think,
- Why are you being so nice to me?
- What do you want?
The more someone shows them love, the more they want to run away.
Second, they don't know how to love others. Love is learned through example. We love people the way we were loved. But if you've never been shown love, you don't have a template to follow.
Even if you want to love, it comes out wrong, either overwhelming and suffocating or cold and distant.
While others were growing, you were surviving. While others were building careers, you were learning how to rebuild yourself.
Some people start at ground level, you’re climbing from the bottom of a pit.