Whatever
It’s all relative
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- Jul 12, 2019
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Fair enough, but blaming it all on them seems a little unfair and it's not going to get you anywhere. Maybe work with them and a psychologist to try to solve the issues you find out you have later on in life, that's exactly what my trans-brother did with my mum. I'm not gonna go into detail, but my mother fucked up quite a bit with my older brother a few years back, but they're working on it now. It might be because no huge issue has ever occurred between me and my parents that I believe I'm immune to any mental problems stemming from my parents. Either way I believe most mental health problems are solvable and we are all living for the first time so I don't think it's right to blame your parents.
I’ve found that “mental health” often gets used as this vague catch all term when more concrete and specific issues should be addressed instead. What my parents did and didn’t do has left me with complexes, neuroses, and also voids. Of course I’ve worked on these but the solutions have been real world experiences, because actually the more aware or high IQ you are, the less can be done on only the mental level.
And what this has done to the relationship with my mom is basically force me to leave her behind. Because now she won’t move on with me. Me and my siblings have wanted for years for her to get help for her untreated PTSD, suicide attempts and threats, self induced poverty and social isolation, I’ve offered to pay for it multiple times, it’s just another thing she won’t do.
So people get to this point where they’re now the adult in the room, the parent-child dynamic collapses and new roles get assigned. If the parent doesn’t get with that then the relationship can’t really continue. Your case sounds more workable than mine or other people’s but please don’t accuse others of coping or whatever when you don’t understand what they have to deal with.