Being virgin but losing KHH is like being in purgatory

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Ugly growing up and constantly humiliated, shit mom, cuck dad and naturally i’m just weird.
read this
 
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read this
The thing is now I receive 95% positive reinforcement for looks, but both foids and guys cold approaching me and telling me i’m good looking. I still see myself as trash and forever will.
 
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The thing is now I receive 95% positive reinforcement for looks, but both foids and guys cold approaching me and telling me i’m good looking. I still see myself as trash and forever will.
yeah people initiate conversations, compliment me and shit. They are really receptive, i distance from people constantly. I dont think their is any fixing this either, its like your whole life is shaped around your childhood trauma. I think the validation can heal your brain with time and you can become more low inhib and eventually become sort of NT. Even people like david laid are a bit spergy, but their low inhib. Im praying this fixes with time but i really dont know anymore. PTSD is uncurable in most cases.
 
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yeah people initiate conversations, compliment me and shit. They are really receptive, i distance from people constantly. I dont think their is any fixing this either, its like your whole life is shaped around your childhood trauma. I think the validation can heal your brain with time and you can become more low inhib and eventually become sort of NT. Even people like david laid are a bit spergy, but their low inhib. Im praying this fixes with time but i really dont know anymore. PTSD is uncurable in most cases.
I am 23 and I went from being treated like an abused dog to being treated well starting at 17. Hasn’t helped. Idk if it’s curable in my case. My life has just been too shit. I stutter like a bitch and can barely even make eye contact with people unless i’m in one of my rare narcy moods.
 
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I am 23 and I went from being treated like an abused dog to being treated well starting at 17. Hasn’t helped. Idk if it’s curable in my case. My life has just been too shit. I stutter like a bitch and can barely even make eye contact with people unless i’m in one of my rare narcy moods.
There is this drug called vorinostat, which permanatly removes old memeroes and anxiety associated with those memories. Its a gamble though because it can have serios side effects but ive been getting desperate as of late. If i didnt have an abusive stepdad i wouldnt have found this shithole. I sometimes have wishes of going ER honestly on those who ruined my life.
 
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There is this drug called vorinostat, which permanatly removes old memeroes and anxiety associated with those memories. Its a gamble though because it can have serios side effects but ive been getting desperate as of late. If i didnt have an abusive stepdad i wouldnt have found this shithole. I sometimes have wishes of going ER honestly on those who ruined my life.
Yeah I get what you’re saying. If I reach my breaking point, I might roid hardcore, take every drug under the sun, schizomaxx etc. my ideal life after 30 is to live in a small cabin in the woods away from society though.
 
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It is better than being in KHHV hell
 
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