mcmentalonthemic
Iron
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- Sep 23, 2023
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(This post is strictly for educational and entertainment purposes, this post is not intended to persuade or convince people to commit a crime. Confessions to committing a crime or committing any immoral actions is a joke.)
This is a shoplifting guide, not a boosting guide. This guide will not teach you how to grab as many iphones as possible and run out, it will teach you how to steal from your local retail store. Reminder all alarms on products you see at the store are real and never dummies. If you cut them they will sound the alarm.
If you are knowledgable in shoplifting and have been doing it regularly with no problem there is no reason to read this guide. THIS GUIDE IS DIRECTED TOWARDS THOSE WHO HAVE LIMITED SHOPLIFTING EXPERIENCE OR ARE WORRIED ABOUT GETTING CAUGHT.
To start off..
Parent's kicked you out for the 40th time with no food or money? Far away from home with a dead phone and no charger? Just a low inhib mutt? There is a solution to all of these problems and many more: Shoplifting.
In this guide I will teach you every tip and trick I have accumilated from years of shoplifting alone and with friends. I have never been caught as I started out very paranoid and only shoplifted when I was 1000% sure I would get away with it when I first started, I cannot say the same for my retarded friends, so I will also teach you their mistakes and how to avoid doing them.
MOST IMPORTANT TIP BY FAR.. MUST READ!!
Do not, ever ever ever steal from corner/paki shops, and do not ever steal from gas stations.
This is not because of MUHH SUPPORT SMALL BUSINESSES!! It is because whilst for big retail stores like Asda, Co-op, Tesco, Walmart, Dollar General, ETC the employees will earn their shittimum wage no matter what, the corner shop workers will DIRECTLY lose money if an items get's shoplfited as they usually own the store, or are a family member of the owner. This results in them constantly watching you, and even if you think you aren't getting watched they are probably watching you using the security cameras from behind the till.
Gas stations half the time are owned the same way franchise stores are owned by a single person instead of the actual company behind the franchise, and that person is usually working the till, so the same logic applies.
Another reason you shouldn't: Retail stores if they catch you will just ban you from the store from life, usually. Whilst for local stores they will attempt to charge you as harsh as possible.
also, again, never steal items with alarms unless you want to be charged lmfao
The issue of CAMERAS!
Never ever ever assume they are using dummy cameras. Small businesses if you decide to ignore my advice and steal from them usually never ever use dummy cameras, to be honest usually only schools use them, I have never seen an instance of shops using dummy cameras except in movies.
For efficiency ASSUME YOU ARE CONSTANTLY BEING WATCHED.
Mannerisms & what to wear:
Okay guys, I really hope you guys don't act special ed when shoplifting. I have had so many instances of my friends shoplifting and acting like complete autists. Never ever glance, never look behind you, never look around. Pretend as if you are picking up milk from the shop as your mom has made you do 50 times before.
Don't wear whatever is stereotypically worn by criminals, so for example if you live in the United Kingdom don't shoplift wearing a puffy jacket or north face type clothing as that type of clothing is usually associated with modern deliquency. I notice when I am being watched by employees and I notice I never, not even once get watched when I am wearing pajamas. It really sells the "I just got out of bed and immediately went to the shops to get milk/chocolate/whatever, why would I shoplift?" look.
Also most important tip for this section: don't shoplift while black. No matter what you do, no matter what you wear you will get watched. Unless maybe you're a foid or you are a fully grown adult who is wearing blue collar work clothes. Then maybe they'll assume you're a working man and wouldn't shoplift but otherwise, especially if you're a male teenager just give up altogether on shoplifting.
Small items:
For small items like pens, pencils, small notebooks, small chocolate bars, whatever you don't even have to self checkout.
Usually what I do is grab it, pretend I am inspecting it, walk around with it, go into another aisle, inspect another item which I have no intention of buying, go up to an employee and ask where some random item like butter is so anybody looking at me on cameras (can't wait for the BUH BUH BUHT DO YUO REALLY THINK PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS WATCHING THE CAMERAS replies) stops eyeing me as what shop lifter would go to an employee, then as I am taken to where the butter is I act as if I am looking for a specific brand, then casually put the small item in my pocket while searching, then "decide" I can't find it then just walk out. You will never ever ever be stopped before leaving unless you're black.
Ofcourse you could take away like half of these elaborate steps and it would still work. I doubt any of you will follow these exact steps though I like to as it removes any chance of getting caught and it's fun doing all these steps as you know you will never get caught whilst doing them.
Another thing you could do is simply just walk or run out. More tips on these methods later.
Big items:
Big items, aka any item which will leave a bulge in your pocket, so soda cans, bottles, sandwhiches, milk, crips/chips, whatever
Stealing these isn't as simple as hiding them on your person unless you are ballsy enough to open up your bag in the middle of the story, put it in, hope a worker doesn't pop out from the aisle and catch you. JFL to retards who stuff these types of things down their pocket, I have seen countless shoplifters getting caught videos and 95% of them get caught after stuffing bread, soda, wine, etc down their pants, pocket or hide it under their jacket.
Best method for shoplifting these items is faking self checkout, more on that futher down the thread. The reason this is better than the next method I will bring up is because your inhib doesn't have to be too low for this, and it is more suited to the "I just want to grab some stuff and pretend to buy them than leave" instead of having to bother to cause a scene.
Second best is obviously the goated running out/walking out of the store. These 3 methods will be described...
...here:
When should you run out?
It's better to describe when you should not: Security gaurd right infront of the door you're planning to run out of. Cop anywhere near you (they WILL use their tazer). Athletic looking employee in vicinity. JFL I've read stories of shoplifters getting tackled by a random athletic chad who just so happened to be doing his shift.
Running out is goated because employees don't care enough to chase you 99% of the time.
Also don't do it if you can just walk out.
When should you walk out?
Walking out is best suited to when you have a bunch of big items which you cannot be bothered faking self checkout for. It's really simple.
Step 1: Check there is no employee or gaurd near you or the door you are planning to walk out of.
Step 2: Walk out of the store with the items.
Step 3: Don't look back.
Even for the 2% someone was watching you on cameras they usually won't have time to walkie talkie their coworkers to catch you, and they probably won't give a fuck to.
Tip: don't go to the same store with the same clothes or general appearence if you run out. For walking out it really doesn't matter unless you feel like the employees might recognise you, then after recognising you try and "punish you" in whatever way they punish shoplifters.
The holy grail of shoplifting: the self checkout counter:
I have been wanting to talk about this because It truly is the best way to shoplift. No hassle, no stress whilst running out. Just feigning normality then walk out with your sandwhich, soda bottle, chocolate and new earbuds.
IT'S SO SIMPLE. NO COMPLICATION.
Step 1: grab your items.
Step 2: go to self checkout
Step 3: pretend to scan them but never place your items down at all
Step 4: pretend to pay with card, or maybe you're phone on the contactless card reader
Step 5: pray to gandy that no employee is looking directly at you. If they aren't you will never get caught.
Step 6: leave.
That's it. You would do this over walking out as it convinces the employees in your vicinity that you actually paid. Reminder you are just a faceless customer to them and all they usually care about is seeing a customer walk to self checkout, fiddle with self checkout and leave. If you're a high inhib mutt Probably scan something and pay for it and pocket the other items whilst pretending to scan it. I ALSO RECOMMEND DOING THIS WHILST YOU ARE STARTING OUT.
Make sure to buy no bags and hold all your items, store bags have barcodes and I will get to why that is a bad thing.
Tip concerning self checkout and walking out:
All bags have barcodes. All items have barcodes. All retail stores have this:
Anti theft barcode scanners at the entrance. These things are very efficient. Whilst you are walking out, it constantly scans for barcodes and alarms. If it scans a product that has not been bought it will sound the alarm. Only care about this if you don't want to run out of the store. I usually just make sure the barcodes in the items I'm walking out with are hidden by the items surrounding them, and I cover the barcodes of those items with my hand. Trying to hide the abrcode of your bag usually makes you look very aspie or very suspicious.
STUFF RETARDS DO!!!!:
Think leaving the store without buying something will get you caught. If you followed my advice and didn't shoplift from a small business, they will not chase you. A wage slave does not give a fuck enough to chase after you after you've left the store. Infact I am positive if they believe you shoplifted but let you go, if you come back an hour later they will not DO SHIT. THEY GET PAID TO BE THERE AND DO THE BARE MINIMUM. NOT TO ACT COP.
Think a security gaurd will be the thing that will get them caught. Security gaurds are there for DETERRENCE. they do not actively look around to find shop lifters as they just assume any would be shop lifter who sees them will either change their mind or avoid them altogether.
JFL, I notice it's easier to shoplift with a security gaurd present as it puts the other employees in a false sense of security so they don't even bother to eye you, as who the fuck would shoplift beside a security gaurd.
The only time you should actually be scared about security gaurds is if:
You are planning to run out with the goods, and even then if you live in the UK check your local law as it might genuinely be illegal for the gaurd to chase and "arrest" you once you've left the premises. Unless it's a cop obviously.
Thinking that shoplifting from the same store multiple times will get you caught. I once shoplifted from the same store 5 times in the same day (yes seriously), then 3 times the next day. And probably about 20 times that week alone and I never got caught. You won't get caught doing the same store multiple times unless they seriously get no customers and they notice you specifically enough to think "wait I've never seen him buy something"
Try to shoplift by stuffing something down their pants/bag/pocket. As I said earlier if you are dealing with big items as in items big enough to leave a bulge in your pocket JUST FUCKING FAKE SELF CHECKOUT OR RUN OUT WITH THEM.
Shoplift besides non employees thinking they won't snitch. They genuinely might just because your act of shoplifting could put their favourite jam brand up 1 penny by the store to save their bottom line.
Disclaimer to stop retarded replies:
This is my first org post and I wanted it to be actually educational and in something I actually have knowledge in, thought he formatting won't be idealz.
Any comment that is like "ermm you missed the most important tip" I will not read, following this will get you what you want out the store without getting caught GUARENTEED.
This is a shoplifting guide, not a boosting guide. This guide will not teach you how to grab as many iphones as possible and run out, it will teach you how to steal from your local retail store. Reminder all alarms on products you see at the store are real and never dummies. If you cut them they will sound the alarm.
If you are knowledgable in shoplifting and have been doing it regularly with no problem there is no reason to read this guide. THIS GUIDE IS DIRECTED TOWARDS THOSE WHO HAVE LIMITED SHOPLIFTING EXPERIENCE OR ARE WORRIED ABOUT GETTING CAUGHT.
• To start off
• Most important tip
• The issue of cameras
• Mannerisms & what to wear
• Small items
• Big items
• When should you run out?
• When should you walk out?
• The holy grail of shoplifting: the self checkout counter
• Tip concerning self checkout and walking out
• Things retards do
• Disclaimer to stop retarded replies
• Most important tip
• The issue of cameras
• Mannerisms & what to wear
• Small items
• Big items
• When should you run out?
• When should you walk out?
• The holy grail of shoplifting: the self checkout counter
• Tip concerning self checkout and walking out
• Things retards do
• Disclaimer to stop retarded replies
To start off..
Parent's kicked you out for the 40th time with no food or money? Far away from home with a dead phone and no charger? Just a low inhib mutt? There is a solution to all of these problems and many more: Shoplifting.
In this guide I will teach you every tip and trick I have accumilated from years of shoplifting alone and with friends. I have never been caught as I started out very paranoid and only shoplifted when I was 1000% sure I would get away with it when I first started, I cannot say the same for my retarded friends, so I will also teach you their mistakes and how to avoid doing them.
MOST IMPORTANT TIP BY FAR.. MUST READ!!
Do not, ever ever ever steal from corner/paki shops, and do not ever steal from gas stations.
This is not because of MUHH SUPPORT SMALL BUSINESSES!! It is because whilst for big retail stores like Asda, Co-op, Tesco, Walmart, Dollar General, ETC the employees will earn their shittimum wage no matter what, the corner shop workers will DIRECTLY lose money if an items get's shoplfited as they usually own the store, or are a family member of the owner. This results in them constantly watching you, and even if you think you aren't getting watched they are probably watching you using the security cameras from behind the till.
I remember when me and 2 of my friends went to a local corner shop beside our school, one of them distracted the worker at the front (ofc he was paki) whilst the other shoplifted. Before they left another paki came from the back and confronted them. Turns out the nigga was watching them from the back using the cameras. Imagine getting caught like that..
Gas stations half the time are owned the same way franchise stores are owned by a single person instead of the actual company behind the franchise, and that person is usually working the till, so the same logic applies.
Another reason you shouldn't: Retail stores if they catch you will just ban you from the store from life, usually. Whilst for local stores they will attempt to charge you as harsh as possible.
also, again, never steal items with alarms unless you want to be charged lmfao
The issue of CAMERAS!
Never ever ever assume they are using dummy cameras. Small businesses if you decide to ignore my advice and steal from them usually never ever use dummy cameras, to be honest usually only schools use them, I have never seen an instance of shops using dummy cameras except in movies.
For efficiency ASSUME YOU ARE CONSTANTLY BEING WATCHED.
Mannerisms & what to wear:
Okay guys, I really hope you guys don't act special ed when shoplifting. I have had so many instances of my friends shoplifting and acting like complete autists. Never ever glance, never look behind you, never look around. Pretend as if you are picking up milk from the shop as your mom has made you do 50 times before.
Don't wear whatever is stereotypically worn by criminals, so for example if you live in the United Kingdom don't shoplift wearing a puffy jacket or north face type clothing as that type of clothing is usually associated with modern deliquency. I notice when I am being watched by employees and I notice I never, not even once get watched when I am wearing pajamas. It really sells the "I just got out of bed and immediately went to the shops to get milk/chocolate/whatever, why would I shoplift?" look.
Also most important tip for this section: don't shoplift while black. No matter what you do, no matter what you wear you will get watched. Unless maybe you're a foid or you are a fully grown adult who is wearing blue collar work clothes. Then maybe they'll assume you're a working man and wouldn't shoplift but otherwise, especially if you're a male teenager just give up altogether on shoplifting.
Small items:
For small items like pens, pencils, small notebooks, small chocolate bars, whatever you don't even have to self checkout.
Usually what I do is grab it, pretend I am inspecting it, walk around with it, go into another aisle, inspect another item which I have no intention of buying, go up to an employee and ask where some random item like butter is so anybody looking at me on cameras (can't wait for the BUH BUH BUHT DO YUO REALLY THINK PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS WATCHING THE CAMERAS replies) stops eyeing me as what shop lifter would go to an employee, then as I am taken to where the butter is I act as if I am looking for a specific brand, then casually put the small item in my pocket while searching, then "decide" I can't find it then just walk out. You will never ever ever be stopped before leaving unless you're black.
Ofcourse you could take away like half of these elaborate steps and it would still work. I doubt any of you will follow these exact steps though I like to as it removes any chance of getting caught and it's fun doing all these steps as you know you will never get caught whilst doing them.
Another thing you could do is simply just walk or run out. More tips on these methods later.
Big items:
Big items, aka any item which will leave a bulge in your pocket, so soda cans, bottles, sandwhiches, milk, crips/chips, whatever
Stealing these isn't as simple as hiding them on your person unless you are ballsy enough to open up your bag in the middle of the story, put it in, hope a worker doesn't pop out from the aisle and catch you. JFL to retards who stuff these types of things down their pocket, I have seen countless shoplifters getting caught videos and 95% of them get caught after stuffing bread, soda, wine, etc down their pants, pocket or hide it under their jacket.
Best method for shoplifting these items is faking self checkout, more on that futher down the thread. The reason this is better than the next method I will bring up is because your inhib doesn't have to be too low for this, and it is more suited to the "I just want to grab some stuff and pretend to buy them than leave" instead of having to bother to cause a scene.
Second best is obviously the goated running out/walking out of the store. These 3 methods will be described...
...here:
When should you run out?
It's better to describe when you should not: Security gaurd right infront of the door you're planning to run out of. Cop anywhere near you (they WILL use their tazer). Athletic looking employee in vicinity. JFL I've read stories of shoplifters getting tackled by a random athletic chad who just so happened to be doing his shift.
Running out is goated because employees don't care enough to chase you 99% of the time.
Also don't do it if you can just walk out.
When should you walk out?
Walking out is best suited to when you have a bunch of big items which you cannot be bothered faking self checkout for. It's really simple.
Step 1: Check there is no employee or gaurd near you or the door you are planning to walk out of.
Step 2: Walk out of the store with the items.
Step 3: Don't look back.
Even for the 2% someone was watching you on cameras they usually won't have time to walkie talkie their coworkers to catch you, and they probably won't give a fuck to.
Tip: don't go to the same store with the same clothes or general appearence if you run out. For walking out it really doesn't matter unless you feel like the employees might recognise you, then after recognising you try and "punish you" in whatever way they punish shoplifters.
The holy grail of shoplifting: the self checkout counter:
I have been wanting to talk about this because It truly is the best way to shoplift. No hassle, no stress whilst running out. Just feigning normality then walk out with your sandwhich, soda bottle, chocolate and new earbuds.
IT'S SO SIMPLE. NO COMPLICATION.
Step 1: grab your items.
Step 2: go to self checkout
Step 3: pretend to scan them but never place your items down at all
Step 4: pretend to pay with card, or maybe you're phone on the contactless card reader
Step 5: pray to gandy that no employee is looking directly at you. If they aren't you will never get caught.
Step 6: leave.
That's it. You would do this over walking out as it convinces the employees in your vicinity that you actually paid. Reminder you are just a faceless customer to them and all they usually care about is seeing a customer walk to self checkout, fiddle with self checkout and leave. If you're a high inhib mutt Probably scan something and pay for it and pocket the other items whilst pretending to scan it. I ALSO RECOMMEND DOING THIS WHILST YOU ARE STARTING OUT.
Make sure to buy no bags and hold all your items, store bags have barcodes and I will get to why that is a bad thing.
Tip concerning self checkout and walking out:
All bags have barcodes. All items have barcodes. All retail stores have this:
Anti theft barcode scanners at the entrance. These things are very efficient. Whilst you are walking out, it constantly scans for barcodes and alarms. If it scans a product that has not been bought it will sound the alarm. Only care about this if you don't want to run out of the store. I usually just make sure the barcodes in the items I'm walking out with are hidden by the items surrounding them, and I cover the barcodes of those items with my hand. Trying to hide the abrcode of your bag usually makes you look very aspie or very suspicious.
STUFF RETARDS DO!!!!:
Think leaving the store without buying something will get you caught. If you followed my advice and didn't shoplift from a small business, they will not chase you. A wage slave does not give a fuck enough to chase after you after you've left the store. Infact I am positive if they believe you shoplifted but let you go, if you come back an hour later they will not DO SHIT. THEY GET PAID TO BE THERE AND DO THE BARE MINIMUM. NOT TO ACT COP.
Think a security gaurd will be the thing that will get them caught. Security gaurds are there for DETERRENCE. they do not actively look around to find shop lifters as they just assume any would be shop lifter who sees them will either change their mind or avoid them altogether.
JFL, I notice it's easier to shoplift with a security gaurd present as it puts the other employees in a false sense of security so they don't even bother to eye you, as who the fuck would shoplift beside a security gaurd.
The only time you should actually be scared about security gaurds is if:
You are planning to run out with the goods, and even then if you live in the UK check your local law as it might genuinely be illegal for the gaurd to chase and "arrest" you once you've left the premises. Unless it's a cop obviously.
Thinking that shoplifting from the same store multiple times will get you caught. I once shoplifted from the same store 5 times in the same day (yes seriously), then 3 times the next day. And probably about 20 times that week alone and I never got caught. You won't get caught doing the same store multiple times unless they seriously get no customers and they notice you specifically enough to think "wait I've never seen him buy something"
Try to shoplift by stuffing something down their pants/bag/pocket. As I said earlier if you are dealing with big items as in items big enough to leave a bulge in your pocket JUST FUCKING FAKE SELF CHECKOUT OR RUN OUT WITH THEM.
Shoplift besides non employees thinking they won't snitch. They genuinely might just because your act of shoplifting could put their favourite jam brand up 1 penny by the store to save their bottom line.
Disclaimer to stop retarded replies:
This is my first org post and I wanted it to be actually educational and in something I actually have knowledge in, thought he formatting won't be idealz.
Any comment that is like "ermm you missed the most important tip" I will not read, following this will get you what you want out the store without getting caught GUARENTEED.
