Does getting your heart broken reduce your ability to pair bond as a man?

[Deleted member 30032]

I fell in love hard in high school, and me and this girl ended up dating for a significant period of time. We ended up breaking up and I was devastated for a while. I tried to fill the void with other women, but to no avail. Since then, I’ve had roughly 5 FWB, and 4 ONS but none of them make me feel some typa way.

TLDR; worried I’ll never find love again

 

[Deleted member 25639]

Yes it’s happened to me two long term girlfriends and it’s been very bleak and numb since then and I have had other women show interest in me, it allows you to understand why so many women are single, men who are actually able to date get burned by the stove and tbh a relationship failing is a lot worse than the pain of not being able to attract women.

 

[longjohnmong]

I fell in love hard in high school, and me and this girl ended up dating for a significant period of time. We ended up breaking up and I was devastated for a while. I tried to fill the void with other women, but to no avail. Since then, I’ve had roughly 5 FWB, and 4 ONS but none of them make me feel some typa way.

TLDR; worried I’ll never find love again

yes, i was with my first gf for 10 years and i have felt nothing since the breakup, which was crushing. i mean, how could i possibly recapture that? it's a different universe now.

i have this theory that life slowly becomes death without you even realizing it, because it happens so gradually, then when you die you're actually born again because the opposite of the death you've slowly been becoming is life

 

[wollet2]

yes, i was with my first gf for 10 years and i have felt nothing since the breakup, which was crushing. i mean, how could i possibly recapture that? it's a different universe now.

i have this theory that life slowly becomes death without you even realizing it, because it happens so gradually, then when you die you're actually born again because the opposite of the death you've slowly been becoming is life

interesting way to look at it but only relevant in some cases

 

[longjohnmong]

interesting way to look at it but only relevant in some cases

yeah, i don't actually believe it. but i was meditating the other day and for one second I think I felt a feeling from childhood, but not like a memory of the feeling, but the actual feeling, and it was like so strong so unlike anything i feel now, and the thing is that it wasn't some profound feeling of meaning, it was just some random ambient feeling - anyway, it was so unlike anything i feel now that my conclusion was that i must be dead

 

[Deleted member 25639]

yes, i was with my first gf for 10 years and i have felt nothing since the breakup, which was crushing. i mean, how could i possibly recapture that? it's a different universe now.

i have this theory that life slowly becomes death without you even realizing it, because it happens so gradually, then when you die you're actually born again because the opposite of the death you've slowly been becoming is life

I feel this way too now, especially since I’ve learned that you are only your father experiencing the same realm with the tools he’s created, once you die you go nowhere your energy is back into the universe, that’s why it’s important to exercise because I believe what you do know will be spiritually a gift in the next person

 

[ascension]

Because you guys don't know about true female nature. Women can't love men, they only love what men provide. This is why you don't get too attached.

 

[Deleted member 30032]

Because you guys don't know about true female nature. Women can't love men, they only love what men provide. This is why you don't get too attached.

I disagree if it’s teenage love. Relationships in high school have nothing to do with what the “man can provide”. It’s easy to get attached when you’ve never been in love before.

Honestly, getting heartbroken might be a crucial step in developing towards becoming a man because at least it makes you fall less hard for women, and let’s you think more logically in relationships

 

[apocalypse]

Since then, I’ve had roughly 5 FWB, and 4 ONS but none of them make me feel some typa way.

What were their psls?

 

[Deleted member 30032]

What were their psls?

I’m not good at PSL I’ll give their ratings out of 10:

FWB:
5, 6.5, 6, 7, 7.5

ONS:
4, 7, 5, 7

 

[apocalypse]

I’m not good at PSL I’ll give their ratings out of 10:

FWB:
5, 6.5, 6, 7, 7.5

ONS:
4, 7, 5, 7

I wonder if it would be different with 9+ stacys

 

[Deleted member 30032]

I wonder if it would be different with 9+ stacys

Well my ex was like a 9/10 so probably lmao

 

[Deleted member 28904]

Ban all sex havers

 

[ascension]

I disagree if it’s teenage love. Relationships in high school have nothing to do with what the “man can provide”. It’s easy to get attached when you’ve never been in love before.

Teenage relationships are all about looks, that also falls under that you "provide"

 

[Deleted member 30032]

Teenage relationships are all about looks, that also falls under that you "provide"

I’d argue status is more important in high school. You can be alright looking, but if you’re popular or good at sports it creates a halo

This is coming from someone who was really good at sports in high school and hooked up with multiple girls who did the same sport as me

 

[czwarty]

Definitely, at least in my case. First of all, I can't trust a bitch no mo', which of course impairs my ability to have a healthy relationship right away. Secondly I'm always on the lookout for red flags, I'm very sensitive to all signs of lack of respect (even if slight), get angry if something doesn't go my way, never put in proper work, at least never more than woman does, and never let myself to fall in love too much because I know how much it fucks you up if you lose it.

Thankfully I was never cucked or nothing like that, but just being led on or finding out I put in more feelings than her was enough to make me feel like shit.

This is really bad and honestly not a good thing, but then again what, I stop doing that and get fucked, lead on or used? You just can't win as a male.
So far I decided to next time let go a little when in relationship, but I'll still stay vigilant in dating and early relationship

 

[Deleted member 30032]

Definitely, at least in my case. First of all, I can't trust a bitch no mo', which of course impairs my ability to have a healthy relationship right away. Secondly I'm always on the lookout for red flags, I'm very sensitive to all signs of lack of respect (even if slight), get angry if something doesn't go my way, never put in proper work, at least never more than woman does, and never let myself to fall in love too much because I know how much it fucks you up if you lose it.

Thankfully I was never cucked or nothing like that, but just being led on or finding out I put in more feelings than her was enough to make me feel like shit.

This is really bad and honestly not a good thing, but then again what, I stop doing that and get fucked, lead on or used? You just can't win as a male.
So far I decided to next time let go a little when in relationship, but I'll still stay vigilant in dating and early relationship

I think it’s better to just not give a fuck at all. Girls really obsess over you if you fuck them good and don’t care.

One of my FWB was “dick-whipped” and I never really cared that much about her, but she was obsessed with me. When I started calling her everyday and giving boyfriend energy we slowly fell off

 

[czwarty]

I think it’s better to not just not give a fuck at all. Girls really obsess over you if you fuck them good and don’t care.

One of my FWB was “dick-whipped” and I never really cared that much about her, but she was obsessed with me. When I started calling her everyday and giving boyfriend energy we slowly fell off

Not really. It could have worked with your FWB because it wasn't LTR. A normal girl will get fed up with that after a while. This will work if it's time-limited FWB, or when a bitch has some B-cluster shit going on in her head. But normal girl might only fall for it at first, for short time, but won't take this forever.

My last relationship was like this. I went slightly too far, always was wary to not invest too much into it and demanded too much from her, and she was hurt by that. Now barely few days ago when me and her talked, which was almost a year after breakup, she told me this is main thing that she remembers - that I never wanted to give her what she needed and she always felt I wasn't invested into this relationship even half as much as her. And sadly I need to admit it's true, even though it's my past experiences which led me to act like that; but whatever, what matters is the outcome. I will be trying to not repeat this next time.

And don't believe talks of "you need to always ignore women they like that" or "chad doesn't need to invest into relationship". Because first of all we're not chad, and secondly even chad encounters a limit, or otherwise women would never break up with him.

 

[longjohnmong]

Teenage relationships are all about looks, that also falls under that you "provide"

When you start getting all loose with the definition of provide then how can you say men don't do the same thing?

 

[ascension]

When you start getting all loose with the definition of provide then how can you say men don't do the same thing?

Men do the same thing, but mostly men are attracted to looks + personality traits. Women are attracted to looks + status + money

 

[Xangsane]

I fell in love hard in high school, and me and this girl ended up dating for a significant period of time. We ended up breaking up and I was devastated for a while. I tried to fill the void with other women, but to no avail. Since then, I’ve had roughly 5 FWB, and 4 ONS but none of them make me feel some typa way.

TLDR; worried I’ll never find love again

Not for me. I had my heart broken brutally once a year and a half ago, but I've only ever slept with one girl in my life, and now I've found love again, and I fell in love hard.

 

[Clown Show]

 

[Deleted member 30037]

Hard to answer tbh. I've had my heart broken once and idk if I'll ever love another girl as much as the first, but that's not to say I won't love again it just probably won't be as strong, and maybe with everyone it goes down even more. Brutal

 

[bishōnenmaxxer]