Expectations <> Reality

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I agree with this, but there's no way out of this. Your self-esteem, mind, is formed in your childhood.
I was truecel in my childhood and now I have realized that there's no real ascension.

Yes the elephant, me, grows up and the rope that has had him tied up all his life, is no longer strong enough to tie him down. But he has lost it's will, it's energy, it's motivation, to go out there.

I have tried joining clubs, starting relationships, 'slaying', etc. And it never sticked to me, it never ignited that fire inside of me to let go of my past and embrace a new life. Even during that relationship, I still felt ugly and subhuman and her positive opinions of me didn't affect my feelings or self-esteem. My mind stays defensive.

It might be over, even my psychiatrist advised 'electro-shock' therapy which basically means they fry your brain. Might aswell blast it with a gun at that point ngl.


All I am doing now is frauding NT IRL, while barely getting by. Only this forum knows my true identity.
your posts are always depressing
@Thompsonz
 
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