D
Deleted member 18582
Poet laureate of the deep state
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2022
- Posts
- 16,168
- Reputation
- 15,235
Ever since the recent TikTok debacle and resulting calls to privatize the forum, the masses, pinterest boy patrician and pug-faced plebeian alike, have come out in droves to feast upon this forum's veritable gold mine of advice and tips on various invasive surgeries such as bimax and obo. They haul away its secrets and vandalize our esoteric knowledge, just like the Crusaders once carried off from Constantinople with jeweled chalices and golden effigies.
They bulldoze full steam ahead, throwing to the side with all traditional softmaxxing techniques such as mewing and wavy perms, which the TikTok userbase <<unilaterally declares>> as "insufficient" and "bluepilled," setting their sights instead on nothing less than LeFort III. Surgeons in Turkey, hoping to capitalize on this development, open "LeFort III mills" where the surgeon treats 6 patients a day, for a price of $25,000 that includes accomodations, meals, and flights. They deck themselves out in custom PEEK infraorbital-zygomatic implants, broadcasting their surgical incisions on TikTok as innocent young girls had once done with bleaching their hair blonde on Vine to the sound of Imagine Dragons not even 10 years ago. 20x50 prints of Francisco Lachowski, Derek Graz, Ryan Gosling, and John Hexum sell out on Amazon.
Just scrolling on my TikTok now, I came across several borderline stacylites lipsynching to an audio recording of a conference paper Dr. Timothy Turvey delivered at the 2023 Meeting of IAOMS (International Association of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeons), entitled "Simultaneous Condylectomy and Orthognathic Surgery for Active Unilateral Condyle Hyperplasia," before it spread across the app faster than COVID. Duets with Paul Conceancig's YouTube videos abound, and a softmaxxed, mushroom-haired MTN livestreams his in-person consult with Celal Candirli, the Turkish maxillofacial surgeon who did the massive implants and bimax project with GiantImplants a month or so ago.
Some more reports from the frontlines:
Massive increase of interest in "jaw surgery" on google search. (this was, uh, the last 3 days)
increase of interest in "rhinoplasty"
massive increase of interest in pagnoni
same for "LACOMS"
What we feared has come true. Before, surgical procedures such as modified orbital box osteotomy, submental platysmal muscle plication, and thoracic aortic dissection repair, which had previously been entirely unknown outside of the boundaries of this forum, are now public knowledge. Prometheus has delivered fire to the masses and we can expect it to turn into nothing less than a blazing inferno of cosmetic surgery, the Koreanization of the world as it were, the zoomer generation throwing itself head first into a maelstrom of invasive cosmetic procedures reminiscent of Canto V from Dante's Inferno, a bewildering, mithraic orgy of narcissism-fueled osteotomies, entire faces turning into picteresque landscapes of lyophilized cartilage, titanium plates, and soft tissue, transforming even the most vile specimens of the zoomer generations into chad-like sexual hydras that singlehandedly transform entire cities into Sodoms and Gomorrahs. Implants will rain from the skies and the days when bimax was less than 6 figures will be long gone. The days when "nice cut" meant a good haircut and not a good LeFort cut will be long gone. The mystical knowledge intuited by a decade of prophets that was available only here, on this public messaging board, has now been released.
In the shadows, Oofy Doofy brings together his palms and cackles like a witch.
They bulldoze full steam ahead, throwing to the side with all traditional softmaxxing techniques such as mewing and wavy perms, which the TikTok userbase <<unilaterally declares>> as "insufficient" and "bluepilled," setting their sights instead on nothing less than LeFort III. Surgeons in Turkey, hoping to capitalize on this development, open "LeFort III mills" where the surgeon treats 6 patients a day, for a price of $25,000 that includes accomodations, meals, and flights. They deck themselves out in custom PEEK infraorbital-zygomatic implants, broadcasting their surgical incisions on TikTok as innocent young girls had once done with bleaching their hair blonde on Vine to the sound of Imagine Dragons not even 10 years ago. 20x50 prints of Francisco Lachowski, Derek Graz, Ryan Gosling, and John Hexum sell out on Amazon.
Just scrolling on my TikTok now, I came across several borderline stacylites lipsynching to an audio recording of a conference paper Dr. Timothy Turvey delivered at the 2023 Meeting of IAOMS (International Association of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeons), entitled "Simultaneous Condylectomy and Orthognathic Surgery for Active Unilateral Condyle Hyperplasia," before it spread across the app faster than COVID. Duets with Paul Conceancig's YouTube videos abound, and a softmaxxed, mushroom-haired MTN livestreams his in-person consult with Celal Candirli, the Turkish maxillofacial surgeon who did the massive implants and bimax project with GiantImplants a month or so ago.
Some more reports from the frontlines:
- Dr. Mirco Raffaini's consultation requests are up 236% in the last three days
- US health insurance and healthcare giants are backrupted for a massive four-figure percent influx in sleep-apnea motivated jaw surgery, causing the collapse of many and forcing Congress to institute martial law to tame the resulting no man's land of amateur BSSOs
- All of Hype House booked maxillomandibular advancements surgeries with counterclockwise rotation, maxillary impaction, upgraft, four-piece jaw widening bilateral sagittal split osteotomy and three-piece surgically-assistated palatal expansion LeFort Is (with even a few modified high-cut LeFort IIs thrown in for good measure), causing leading maxillofacial surgeons across the globe to ramp up surgery prices an average of 75%, rendering the procedure financially impossible for most people other than the largely wealthy influencer softboi class
- Oculoplastic surgeons in the USA and Canada report their receptionists received 72% more calls than usual in the last four days, with many demanding, often very aggressively, quotes on canthoplasty and orbital box osteotomies
Massive increase of interest in "jaw surgery" on google search. (this was, uh, the last 3 days)
increase of interest in "rhinoplasty"
massive increase of interest in pagnoni
same for "LACOMS"
What we feared has come true. Before, surgical procedures such as modified orbital box osteotomy, submental platysmal muscle plication, and thoracic aortic dissection repair, which had previously been entirely unknown outside of the boundaries of this forum, are now public knowledge. Prometheus has delivered fire to the masses and we can expect it to turn into nothing less than a blazing inferno of cosmetic surgery, the Koreanization of the world as it were, the zoomer generation throwing itself head first into a maelstrom of invasive cosmetic procedures reminiscent of Canto V from Dante's Inferno, a bewildering, mithraic orgy of narcissism-fueled osteotomies, entire faces turning into picteresque landscapes of lyophilized cartilage, titanium plates, and soft tissue, transforming even the most vile specimens of the zoomer generations into chad-like sexual hydras that singlehandedly transform entire cities into Sodoms and Gomorrahs. Implants will rain from the skies and the days when bimax was less than 6 figures will be long gone. The days when "nice cut" meant a good haircut and not a good LeFort cut will be long gone. The mystical knowledge intuited by a decade of prophets that was available only here, on this public messaging board, has now been released.
In the shadows, Oofy Doofy brings together his palms and cackles like a witch.
Last edited:
