D
Deleted member 2846
Fire
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2019
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Imagine your whole life being 100% dominated by thoughts about your looks and others. You can’t even look in the mirror without thinking how ugly and deformed you look. Your mental image of yourself is literally warped. You look in the mirror to make sure you look alright but you just see the warped image, staring back at you.
You can barely remember the last time you looked decent. You look in the mirror and see your flaws, all separated and picked out, yet all staring back at you. You can’t go a minute without thinking about your looks, your flaws, your literal face and body that makes you, you. You are stuck in a prison with the ugliest face imaginable. You can’t even seek asylum with yourself. You hate the way you look. You can’t stand yourself. You hate it. Yet you can’t change anything about it.
You look at other people’s faces, their bodies, you analyze everything wrong with them. Your mind is racing, what’s wrong with him? With her? You compare yourself to perfection, something unattainable. Your reality is shattered, it can and will never be the same again. You know too much. You know every bone in the face. You know all your flaws. You have to live with this ugly, hideous, far from perfect, monster. You see it every time you look in the mirror.
The thoughts can’t and will never leave your head. You know too much about your flaws. It is like forbidden knowledge. It all started off by questioning one flaw and just started to snowball. You became addicted to knowing your flaws, picking yourself apart, killing yourself. You have a constant pressure over your head. No medication can fix you. No therapist can help you. There is no cure for it. You are stuck with your knowledge, with your broken, deluded reality forever. There is no way to cope. You just have to own it. Everyday, you try to ignore it, but it slowly gets worse. You’re sucked into a blackhole.
No one understands you, yet you think everyone does. You think the people who don’t understand are the crazy ones, the ones that don’t get it. You have the forbidden knowledge. You know what perfection is, yet it is impossible to achieve it. You are stuck with the burden of having this knowledge, yet the only people who understand are also broken and deluded. You are stuck in a different reality than everyone else, yet you think you are the sane one.
You can barely remember the last time you looked decent. You look in the mirror and see your flaws, all separated and picked out, yet all staring back at you. You can’t go a minute without thinking about your looks, your flaws, your literal face and body that makes you, you. You are stuck in a prison with the ugliest face imaginable. You can’t even seek asylum with yourself. You hate the way you look. You can’t stand yourself. You hate it. Yet you can’t change anything about it.
You look at other people’s faces, their bodies, you analyze everything wrong with them. Your mind is racing, what’s wrong with him? With her? You compare yourself to perfection, something unattainable. Your reality is shattered, it can and will never be the same again. You know too much. You know every bone in the face. You know all your flaws. You have to live with this ugly, hideous, far from perfect, monster. You see it every time you look in the mirror.
The thoughts can’t and will never leave your head. You know too much about your flaws. It is like forbidden knowledge. It all started off by questioning one flaw and just started to snowball. You became addicted to knowing your flaws, picking yourself apart, killing yourself. You have a constant pressure over your head. No medication can fix you. No therapist can help you. There is no cure for it. You are stuck with your knowledge, with your broken, deluded reality forever. There is no way to cope. You just have to own it. Everyday, you try to ignore it, but it slowly gets worse. You’re sucked into a blackhole.
No one understands you, yet you think everyone does. You think the people who don’t understand are the crazy ones, the ones that don’t get it. You have the forbidden knowledge. You know what perfection is, yet it is impossible to achieve it. You are stuck with the burden of having this knowledge, yet the only people who understand are also broken and deluded. You are stuck in a different reality than everyone else, yet you think you are the sane one.