How to stop Jestermaxxing?

[lilhorizontal32]

Kind of always been like this.

I still do it now that I’m a bit older cos I get ignored in social settings otherwise and so I use it as a way to get attention, and often that attention becomes just people making fun of me, and straight up bullying eventually.

anyone else going through/been through the same thing and know how to stop it? Would be interested to see if you guys can relate

 

[Deleted member 12484]

if i dont like the joke about me i tell 'its not funny dont do it again'

 

[ezio6]

how to jestermaxx and have fun basically
state of mind : do it with unwavering boldness,

inner game : let other people get your validation, not the other way around.

amused mastery : make sure you jestermaxx for your own amusement, if you dont feel amused then find out why and fix it

 

[Deleted member 7901]

losing weight and going through a phase of shame stopped this for me,
you can search in here and incels.is "jester" and you will find a lot of examples which will put you in prescriptive

its still hard to avoid that crave sometimes though, probably because we skipped some milestone which makes us crave attention more then average, I just tell jokes which are not about me and are not politically correct if I feel like it

if i dont like the joke about me i tell 'its not funny dont do it again'

sounds autistic tbh, its kinda hard to avoid those without looking autistic, your best bet is to ignore if someone jokes about you,
maybe make them look autistic

 

[Deleted member 12484]

your best bet is to ignore

nah in middle school i ignored and laughed around it only gets worse if you let anyone do it

 

[Deleted member 7901]

nah in middle school i ignored and laughed around it only gets worse if you let anyone do it

laughing around it is not ignoring, laughing at yourself back only brings positive feedback

 

[Mongrelcel]

"jestermaxxing" is basically trying to be the centre of attnetion but without good looks

If you had good looks and "jestermaxxed" you would be popular very quickly, people would invite you out all the time because you do funny shit

 

[Lihito]

Kind of always been like this.

I still do it now that I’m a bit older cos I get ignored in social settings otherwise and so I use it as a way to get attention, and often that attention becomes just people making fun of me, and straight up bullying eventually.

anyone else going through/been through the same thing and know how to stop it? Would be interested to see if you guys can relate

Same here tbh.
Bigger guys Always take all The attention and are The loudest.
Thats why i jestermaxx

Are you and ENFP by any chance?

Take this test please and then i Will PM you with help

Free personality test, type descriptions, relationship and career advice | 16Personalities

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Choose you language or do The English one

 

[lilhorizontal32]

if i dont like the joke about me i tell 'its not funny dont do it again'

respect ur assertiveness bro. Im too shy and dont want to confront someone, especially in a group setting so Ill just take it

 

[lilhorizontal32]

"jestermaxxing" is basically trying to be the centre of attnetion but without good looks

If you had good looks and "jestermaxxed" you would be popular very quickly, people would invite you out all the time because you do funny shit

I've been told I'm quite funny and I'd say I am without be too narcy

but it doesnt seem to improve my social standing/make people want to be friends with me/like me/respect me more

 

[Mongrelcel]

I've been told I'm quite funny and I'd say I am without be too narcy

but it doesnt seem to improve my social standing/make people want to be friends with me/like me/respect me more

people use you to have fun, but they know they cannot make you an "offical friend" because they cant be seen around you when women are around
you would hurt their smv too much

 

[lilhorizontal32]

people use you to have fun, but they know they cannot make you an "offical friend" because they cant be seen around you when women are around
you would hurt their smv too much

thats what I'm thinking bro. also I'm not great at conversing and kinda weird at times ngl, but very witty and good with one-liners in group convos, so that probs has something to do with it

 

[Mongrelcel]

thats what I'm thinking bro. also I'm not great at conversing and kinda weird at times ngl, but very witty and good with one-liners in group convos, so that probs has something to do with it

thats exactly me jfl

Im bad an conversations, but in a group setting I am consistently the funniest one - one liners, or just jokes.

 

[lilhorizontal32]

thats exactly me jfl

Im bad an conversations, but in a group setting I am consistently the funniest one - one liners, or just jokes.

bro wtf no way, its a pretty rare combo ngl haha. usually funny people are very good conversationalists as well

dont know what went wrong with us jfl

 

[lilhorizontal32]

thats exactly me jfl

Im bad an conversations, but in a group setting I am consistently the funniest one - one liners, or just jokes.

and yeah usually I am quite a good conversationalist when I drunk/not feeling anxious. funny and charismatic

but I cant be confident for long periods of time, which means I can still tell good one liners, cos only a few words need to be strung along at a time.

also shit at telling stories/explaining things

 

[Mongrelcel]

bro wtf no way, its a pretty rare combo ngl haha. usually funny people are very good conversationalists as well

dont know what went wrong with us jfl

not necesarilly. I struggle when the convo changes from one topic to anoteer for example.
Also i struggle because all my social interaction is just trying to make jokes or say something funny, and somethimes you just cant. so theres akward silence

you know what is the secret to being funny? its being creative

Creativity allows you to make unexpected associations, which is the basis of every joke.

 

[lilhorizontal32]

not necesarilly. I struggle when the convo changes from one topic to anoteer for example.
Also i struggle because all my social interaction is just trying to make jokes or say something funny, and somethimes you just cant. so theres akward silence

you know what is the secret to being funny? its being creative

Creativity allows you to make unexpected associations, which is the basis of every joke.

got you. do you mean as in you try and make jokes all the time, like do you feel that you have to be "on" constantly. because yeah I defs get that

and yeah Im a pretty creative person Id say, well read so that defs helps

 

[Mongrelcel]

got you. do you mean as in you try and make jokes all the time, like do you feel that you have to be "on" constantly. because yeah I defs get that

all i am is a jester, so if im not funny, people will simply throw me away. So i do always have to be "on" in a sense, its not just a feeling

and yeah Im a pretty creative person Id say, well read so that defs helps

ive realized this this way
When i smoke weed, I am objectively a lot more funny. Ive always though that it was the weed that was making me funny, but no, the weed makes me more creative and theredofe my jokes are more random and unexpected

 

[Zeta ascended]

Kind of always been like this.

I still do it now that I’m a bit older cos I get ignored in social settings otherwise and so I use it as a way to get attention, and often that attention becomes just people making fun of me, and straight up bullying eventually.

anyone else going through/been through the same thing and know how to stop it? Would be interested to see if you guys can relate

I jestermaxxed from Middle School o 11th grade highschool to compensate for past bullying and being ugly. You have to realize that the people you are trying to impress look down upon you, laugh at you and wouldn't even care if you were hit by a bus.

 

[Zeta ascended]

If you're a funny guy just stop or kys

If you fell for the meme that women like funny guys just stop. Save your dignity. If you're naturally a jester inject t asap. You're not charismatic. This is how people see you. If she liked you she would laugh at whatever you say. You don't even have to be funny. If you use pick up lines kys.

looksmax.org

 

[sergeant blackpill]

Over for you. I get attention without trying but i never know what to say.

 

[MarstonAlloy]

Kind of always been like this.

I still do it now that I’m a bit older cos I get ignored in social settings otherwise and so I use it as a way to get attention, and often that attention becomes just people making fun of me, and straight up bullying eventually.

anyone else going through/been through the same thing and know how to stop it? Would be interested to see if you guys can relate

yeah ive been doing this since elementary school it actually works for some foids
It kinda stopped working for me in high school though
I guess just try to act like a normal person

 

[lilhorizontal32]

all i am is a jester, so if im not funny, people will simply throw me away. So i do always have to be "on" in a sense, its not just a feeling

yeah man I felt that way as well. I know its a lot easier said than done, especially when you have your role defined as "the funny guy" and people expect you to go along with that, as well you maybe feeling that you might be risking something by not actively making people laugh, but try and tone it down on the jokes.

like I still make jokes but I don't make them as much anymore in a group setting, but will do 1 on 1, that seems to take away the jester effect a bit. and also, try and find a charismatic but ugly guy thats still socially successful and try and make the same amount of jokes that that guy does, especially the types of jokes that he does, thats the best way to go about it.
Ive found that I can be a bit too un-PC at times and thats really off-putting to normies which that guy doesnt, so your best bet is to model your personality (to some extent) around others who have been successful

 

[lilhorizontal32]

yeah ive been doing this since elementary school it actually works for some foids
It kinda stopped working for me in high school though
I guess just try to act like a normal person

the older you get the less charming the "class clown" personality becomes. sad shit tbh, one less way to differentiate yourself from the Chads with 0 personality

also I actually enjoy hanging out with those personality types, and it makes me wonder if I should spend less time with people like that in case it rubs off on me a bit

 

[MarstonAlloy]

the older you get the less charming the "class clown" personality becomes. sad shit tbh, one less way to differentiate yourself from the Chads with 0 personality

also I actually enjoy hanging out with those personality types, and it makes me wonder if I should spend less time with people like that in case it rubs off on me a bit

This doesnt really concern getting women but theres nothing better than your individuality bro whether youre liked or not. Not saying go over the top but still try to be funny the world is grey af

 

[lilhorizontal32]

This doesnt really concern getting women but theres nothing better than your individuality bro whether youre liked or not. Not saying go over the top but still try to be funny the world is grey af

ofc bro. never going to fully change my personality. will defs still joke around with my boys

I will just act differently around girls

 

[AsGoodAsItGets]

your best bet is to ignore if someone jokes about you,
maybe make them look autistic

if i dont like the joke about me i tell 'its not funny dont do it again'

hey we can use agree and amplify. its like you take the joke and build on top of it tbh, showing you're not affected. not only that, you can one up that joke.

thats what I'm thinking bro. also I'm not great at conversing and kinda weird at times ngl, but very witty and good with one-liners in group convos, so that probs has something to do with it

hey bro, to be deferred respect, you need to show leadership. otherwise only jokin around can just make you "the funny guy" but you don't wanna be the dancing monkey either. funny guys can be powerful too infact people can be scared to offend them, since they could come up with shit that'll stick, like nicknames (top tip, be a good nickname giver jfl)

and yeah usually I am quite a good conversationalist when I drunk/not feeling anxious. funny and charismatic

but I cant be confident for long periods of time, which means I can still tell good one liners, cos only a few words need to be strung along at a time.

you simply are not comfortable yet with the attention you get when you're joking around too tbh. so when you joke, it hits rights (and i'm sure it does) people laugh, but your response is primarily of disbelief at acceptance. there are many things that are happeneing here
1. you're going to have to leave the need to crack a certain standard of joke at the table
2. when its hits right, you keep running with it
3. connect earlier subjects in your joke with other people's together to create an elaborate imaginary fantasy comedic storyline that runs through night.

also shit at telling stories/explaining things

not necesarilly. I struggle when the convo changes from one topic to anoteer for example.
Also i struggle because all my social interaction is just trying to make jokes or say something funny, and somethimes you just cant. so theres akward silence

you know what is the secret to being funny? its being creative

Creativity allows you to make unexpected associations, which is the basis of every joke.

yes, you need to have a free flow of words and connect shit in a matrix to be an interesting person. in earlier "game", people used to call this "threads" (mystery) or something. If you understand how to free associate and be in the moment at the same time let go of the need to control the interaction and let it build, you will start doing it naturally.

 

[lilhorizontal32]

hey we can use agree and amplify. its like you take the joke and build on top of it tbh, showing you're not affected. not only that, you can one up that joke.

yeah was talking to a guy that used to be a jester for many years and he said that this is the best way to not become the butt of the joke that everyone picks on. keep on agreeing and amplifying and it eventually becomes boring

however, when I did it it still happened to me, and he said that that was the first ever that he saw that happen. that usually when you dont get defensive people dont feel the urge to insult/bully you more

 

[Deleted member 5927]

realize that there’s literally nothing you can say or do for a female to make her attracted to you. it’s entirely how you look.

 

[lilhorizontal32]

realize that there’s literally nothing you can say or do for a female to make her attracted to you. it’s entirely how you look.

one of the best ways to become confident. lets u forget about the shit u have to say, and striving for perfection with ur words (cos it wont make much of a difference anyway)

 

[AsGoodAsItGets]

yeah was talking to a guy that used to be a jester for many years and he said that this is the best way to not become the butt of the joke that everyone picks on. keep on agreeing and amplifying and it eventually becomes boring

however, when I did it it still happened to me, and he said that that was the first ever that he saw that happen. that usually when you dont get defensive people dont feel the urge to insult/bully you more

if people are actively trying to insult you, that's completely different and you need to draw the line bro. Let's say, someone calls you gay and makes a gay joke about you maybe if you're a pretty boy. You say " hey I know you've been eyeing me up and down and that you like boys, but you gotta try harder than that bro" Checkout guys like Robert Downey jr - total fucking jester.

But if people are joking around, you agree, amplify and one up it. its like beach football, somebody makes a joke about you, sends it your way. you take it, amplify it and send it around. it's a sort of self depracating humor and when everyones doing it, it's fun. You're not putting yourself down, you're just creating a fantasy storyline. and also if you're not having fun in your group and people are actively disrespecting you, you need to leave that group my bro.

 

[AsGoodAsItGets]

but you gotta try harder than that bro"

 

[lilhorizontal32]

if people are actively trying to insult you, that's completely different and you need to draw the line bro. Let's say, someone calls you gay and makes a gay joke about you maybe if you're a pretty boy. You say " hey I know you've been eyeing me up and down and that you like boys, but you gotta try harder than that bro" Checkout guys like Robert Downey jr - total fucking jester.

But if people are joking around, you agree, amplify and one up it. its like beach football, somebody makes a joke about you, sends it your way. you take it, amplify it and send it around. it's a sort of self depracating humor and when everyones doing it, it's fun. You're not putting yourself down, you're just creating a fantasy storyline.

yeah bro thanks for the advice. appreciate it

I also feel like if someone actively insults you, you insult them back, to show that speaking to you like that isnt a great idea. however this is dependent on how quick witted you are of course. agree and amplify seems to work in those scenarios where you cant think of something

and also if you're not having fun in your group and people are actively disrespecting you, you need to leave that group my bro.

this is the problem, and it happens in every group that I am in for an extended period of time. like I hate even getting to that point where I am being actively disrespected, it doesnt happen with others

 

[AsGoodAsItGets]

however this is dependent on how quick witted you are of course.

yes highly dependent on it, which is why i can also suggest in the beginning, to keep lines ready for each person (has to be somewhat related and connected to a runnung joke) because in the beginning you're gonna have the social pressure (this will go away by practice) for the delivery and then the pressure for the funny material. take the pressure off the material by being ready before hand if in a situation where you cannot change your presence ( like school etc). you really wanna be poking at someones weak point 9also good if you can get them defensive), also can be something they get fucked around with for by others usually. but never make it look mean, shows that you became defensive which is not a cool kid trait. if he gets pissed, "whoa, whoa be cool bro we're all just having fun (you're assuming that "we" are on your side).

and it happens in every group that I am in for an extended period of time. like I hate even getting to that point where I am being actively disrespected, it doesnt happen with others

"just dont let it happen bro" lol
but somewhere you are forfeiting the vibe of self respect either by not having a certain leadership position in it, or not being assertive (even in good friendships and social circles, somebody can step out of line, see that as a perfect opportunity to demonstrate your assertiveness _ i guess you're gonna have to learn to become self assured in a way). also don't be expecting / dreading this to happen, in a sort of spiritual / energy sense you're drawing this sort of behaviour to yourself if you do. i'm not saying it's your fault, but you have to believe that you deserve respect

 

[AsGoodAsItGets]

i guess you're gonna have to learn to become self assured in a way

by this i also mean that you're gonna have to embrace the discomfort that's gonna come with speaking your mind if you're a naturally agreeable person (usually results from a softer upbringing, being too protected etc) but you'll respect yourself and fell much better about yourself.

 

[Mongrelcel]

the older you get the less charming the "class clown" personality becomes

interesting
youre right

when youre a kid/early teen, everyobdy is just having fun going bullshit, so jester is actually wanted and valued

but when youre a teen/adult, its all about apperance, facades and chasing women (which are on average much more like minded, so they are very sensitive to someone breaking social norms, which jester does for laughs - this trait also becomes "abosulte confidence" and actually a positive trait if the jester is chad), so thats why a jester must be discarded.

 

[lilhorizontal32]

yes highly dependent on it, which is why i can also suggest in the beginning, to keep lines ready for each person (has to be somewhat related and connected to a runnung joke) because in the beginning you're gonna have the social pressure (this will go away by practice) for the delivery and then the pressure for the funny material. take the pressure off the material by being ready before hand if in a situation where you cannot change your presence ( like school etc). you really wanna be poking at someones weak point 9also good if you can get them defensive), also can be something they get fucked around with for by others usually. but never make it look mean, shows that you became defensive which is not a cool kid trait. if he gets pissed, "whoa, whoa be cool bro we're all just having fun (you're assuming that "we" are on your side).

"just dont let it happen bro" lol
but somewhere you are forfeiting the vibe of self respect either by not having a certain leadership position in it, or not being assertive (even in good friendships and social circles, somebody can step out of line, see that as a perfect opportunity to demonstrate your assertiveness _ i guess you're gonna have to learn to become self assured in a way). also don't be expecting / dreading this to happen, in a sort of spiritual / energy sense you're drawing this sort of behaviour to yourself if you do. i'm not saying it's your fault, but you have to believe that you deserve respect

thanks for the advice bro. will defs try and apply it

 

[eduardkoopman]

Kind of always been like this.

I still do it now that I’m a bit older cos I get ignored in social settings otherwise and so I use it as a way to get attention, and often that attention becomes just people making fun of me, and straight up bullying eventually.

anyone else going through/been through the same thing and know how to stop it? Would be interested to see if you guys can relate

I can relate.
I was always ugly, below average range in looks. And thus Yestering, or attempts thereoff was a way to aim to get attention.
Now I look better, and I really can't get it out of my head that me just being there is now good enough and having more postive outcome than back when i was high effort yestering. As a result, I always feel I did short, because I have not high effort yestered. So I feel I faild to show muh positive porsonlaity traits, and I think people won't like me.
I guess in essence, deep down, I still get ruled by the idea of "it's all about personality"

 

[Sense]

I can relate.
I was always ugly, below average range in looks. And thus Yestering, or attempts thereoff was a way to aim to get attention.
Now I look better, and I really can't get it out of my head that me just being there is now good enough and having more postive outcome than back when i was high effort yestering. As a result, I always feel I did short, because I have not high effort yestered. So I feel I faild to show muh positive porsonlaity traits, and I think people won't like me.
I guess in essence, deep down, I still get ruled by the idea of "it's all about personality"

that bitch voice is so annoying

 

[eduardkoopman]

that bitch voice is so annoying

1 of the reasons, I posted the video.
Besides 90% woman saying "personality matter more than looks"

 

[Sense]

1 of the reasons, I posted the video.
Besides 90% woman saying "personality matter more than looks"

Personality matters more than looks but looks still matter nonetheless almost as much as personality.

 

[eduardkoopman]

Personality matters more than looks but looks still matter nonetheless almost as much as personality.

depends on the subject matter.

in dating, for sure looks matters most.
in plenty other social aspects, looks may matter most also.
and for sure it halo's in plenty other aspects also.